A/N: Whoop whoop. Yeah, my beta said this chapter is rated M for mentioning manhood. It's just gutter minded from the mind of a teenage boy... I always wondered about that tail. I will be updating throughout the week other stories.

Disclaimer: Don't own X-men: Evolution and I credit Hetalia for inspiring this chapter. Thank you Italy with your weird hair curl.

Everyone knew it was sensitive. A thousand times and a thousand times again he'd growled at people to not touch the tail! So why the hell couldn't he tell Kitty the same thing? Oh he knew why. And damn him if he didn't feel hot and bothered by it. Kurt would need to go to confessional for this, but was so embarrassed that he didn't know how he'd be able to speak when he did go to church that week.

Just how did you tell a priest that you had lusty thoughts about your best friend because she was playing with your tail? Your tail that was your erogenous zone?

It wasn't Kitty's fault though. How did you tell your closest friend that a tug on your tail either hurt your manhood or… stroked it?

And it was all absentmindedly done as they lay sprawled out on the bed of his room. She'd chirped that she'd needed a break from studying and had immediately lain on her back, his tail had landed nearby, and her fingers had gently wound around it as someone would a stray curl.

She trailed a hand down it, back and forth mindlessly… Why the hell hadn't he spoken up yet? This was so unbelievably wrong just letting her do that without realizing a thing! But it felt so good. There was a special place in hell for him, of that Kurt was sure, and it was probably next to the spot where people stole candy from babies or talked during movies. That's it! I'll tell her! Kurt was a gentleman and needed to tell Kitty to stop… no matter how much the inner hormonal teenage voice in his head told him to sit back and let her keep on in ignorance. His hand shook as he reached out for her shoulder, more from the sensations across his tail than nerves. Sadly, Kurt's courage faltered and he froze up completely at Kitty's next actions.

Kitty was rubbing the end of it making Kurt catch his breath. Her innocent little touches were anything but PG for him. "Oh! I'm sorry Kurt!" She'd heard his breath and Kurt was so beholden to his guardian angel that he was lying on his stomach. "I didn't realize I was tugging on your tail! I'm so sorry!" Said tail was still in her hand, though held much more gently now.

"It's okay Keety-" Great! His voice was husky and his accent had gotten a thousand times thicker. Kurt desperately prayed Kitty didn't notice a thing. "-I just brauchen- I mean, need to go to the restroom," he quickly said. His warbled mind was having an incredibly hard time keeping English and German separated. "Ja. All of zat apple juice-"

And Kitty, his dear naive little kitten, leaned over, and kissed the sweet little spade at the end of his tail and uttered another apology over having touched it.

Bmph.

Kurt had left for his second cold shower that month leaving Kitty wondering just when Kurt had drunk apple juice.

Words: 508

German word of the day/chapter: brauchen = need