My Adolescent Romantic Comedy Is Incorrect As I Had Logically Proven

by SnowPlow

Yukinoshita Yukino's perspective on events in the series.

10. (V9)Destinyland

Destinyland (Volume 9 Chapter 7 to Chapter 8)

When one encounters problems in one's duties that one is unable to solve on their own, it may be necessary to report to one's supervisor. Such a measure was necessary with our current situation with the Christmas event. As such, the four of us went to see Hiratsuka-sensei and explained the situation to her.

"It looks like all of you don't understand what Christmas is about," she replied unexpectedly.

We all became dumbfounded. We had told her about the non-concrete plans and the budget issues, but her response seemed to be completely unrelated. Hiratsuka-sensei's expression suddenly lit up as if she remembered something and started to search her bag.

"Why don't I show you what I mean? Ta-da!"

With a victorious grin, she pulled out four colourful slips of paper. Hang on a minute, I recognized those. Surely it couldn't be "those", could it?

The slips of paper showed a certain panda sitting atop a Ferris wheel. At the bottom, there were the words "ONE DAY PASSPORT TO THE LAND OF DREAMS" written in large, bold font. A bar code filled the latter tenth of the paper. I knew it, surely these were "those".

"Those must be Destineyland tickets," I said.

"What's this about? Where did you get them? Why four?" inquired Yuigahama.

At Yuigahama's words, Hiratsuka-sensei suddenly became crestfallen and she dropped the tickets messily onto her desk.

"I- well, I won it at an afterparty of a wedding somehow. Twice. A-And I was told that 'you can go by yourself two times' twice as well..." she muttered.

It looked like she stumbled upon another situation that, despite not being explicitly so, mocked her for her bachelor status at a less-than-young age. Surely, the adult life was difficult, especially with the unrealistic expectations that everyone threw at you. Indeed, Hiratsuka-sensei finding a partner was an unrealistic prospect. Such was life, but it could not be helped. My only hope is that I will not end up like that miserable teacher longing for the unattainable.

"I'll give these to you guys. Destinyland has a magnificent Christmas atmosphere, so take it all in as reference for your Christmas event. Also, I'm sure it'll serve as a breather," said Hiratsuka-sensei with an abrupt smile.

She's giving them to us just like that? That was pretty generous. I started to get a little excited, and my straight mouth started to curve up. N-No, I should show some restraint.

"Really? Thank you very much!" exclaimed Isshiki.

"At a time like this? It's so damn packed," complained Hikigaya.

That was true. At this time of year, people crowded en masse at amusement parks like Destinyland to get away from their busy lives and spend some time with their family. The density of people must greatly exceed the average comfortable amount. Well, it couldn't be helped, I guess. Even if I wanted to go, it would be bad. Seriously, I'm not lying at all.

"I agree, it might not be for me too," I added.

Yuigahama looked at us discontentedly and whined, "Eeeeeh? Come on, let's go!"

"Don't you know how freezing it would be at this time of year?" reminded Hikigaya, "The winds will give us severe chills on top of the whole place being on the coastline."

"We'll get choked by the congestion of people, and we'll be frozen like icicles while waiting in the long lines," I said.

"But, but Pan-san, Yukinon! They have 'Pan-san's Bamboo Fight' there! You said you'd be okay with going after we watched that DVD that time!" Yuigahama argued.

I-Indeed, Pan-san will be there. Well, it's not like I care about him or his soft, fluffy fur or his devious, yet childish face that makes you want to hug him back to the right path. I should stop looking at the tickets in yearning as well. I attempted to avert my eyes as naturally as possible.

"We can go whenever, so it's not like we need to go when it's so crowded," I argued back.

"Come on, Yukinon! It's Christmas, so Bamboo Fight will be all Christmas-y, right? It was like that in 'Haunted Campus'!"

Yuigahama was terribly misinformed. Unacceptable.

"No, this year's Bamboo Fight will be as usual. In the first place, Bamboo Fight has never had a Christmas version before, so it's unlikely that it will be a Christmas version this year as well. It's an attraction that's renowned across the globe," I corrected her.

"Y-You sure know a lot about it," muttered Yuigahama.

"Um, this much is common knowledge," I weakly retorted.

"Please, Yukinon, let's go!"

"Definitely not."

At this, Yuigahama became crestfallen. We fell silent for a while. Unlike before, she was giving up rather soon. Actually, I remember very few times she ever gave up at all.

However, it was not wholly unexpected. We had just been through all that up until yesterday. Some awkwardness remained behind as anyone would guess, though it did not make it any less uncomfortable.

Suddenly, Hikigaya broke the silence, saying "Goods."

I turned around to him and stared at him in confusion. It was an awfully random thing to say.

"They'll be stocking Christmas versions of Pan-san there, right? So, I want to pick one out for Komachi as a present," he said.

Yuigahama raised her face as if realizing something. She reached out and tightly grasped both of my hands.

"Ah, sounds good! Let's all go and choose one for her!" chimed Yuigahama.

I averted my eyes for a moment. Why was I trying to show resistance right now? No, I knew the answer to that. I was reflexively acting in a way that I had been doing for a long time. I was shunning away others and making myself appear stoic, intelligent, and unreachable. Even though I hated facades, I never knocked down my own. Perhaps I was untrusting. Or, perhaps I was afraid of something.

However, we had already realized the futility in all that. We were not saving ourselves by acting like that, and certainly we were not saving each other either. In that case, it should be okay. It should be fine to take a step and reveal a little bit of the flesh underneath the carapace. There was risk involved, but she, he and I have already decided that we would seek for that which was uncomfortable, thorny, yet true.

I stopped resisting.

"If that's how it is, then there's not much we can do," I submitted.

Yuigahama slowly spread out a motherly smile for me, like I was a long-lost child. Her undiluted joy caused the mood to relax, releasing our stiff spines from the tension.

That aside, it seemed that there was another person who I knew that was actually a so-called comrade of a different sort.

I turned to Hikigaya and asked him, "So, Komachi likes Pan-san?"

"Eh? Oh, um, she does, I think," answered Hikigaya unsteadily.

I became a little bit excited. My suspicion was true. The cuteness of Pan-san was universally recognized by many, but only a select few could see past the mere cuteness and discover the other parts that made Pan-san so great. Episodes six through twelve of the third season of "Pan-san's Adventures" showed off his unexpectedly weak strength despite his gruff appearance, which was an appealing trait in its own way. While walking home from school, I rarely heard the elementary school students talk about that side of Pan-san. However, if it's Komachi, then I was sure that she was not such a lowly fan of Pan-san.

"I see, I didn't know that. Choosing a present might be difficult," I murmured with a thumb and index finger on my chin.

Who knows if she would be satisfied with, say, a mere Pan-san #3 of the Winter Collection. What if she desired that extremely rare Pan-san X: A Very Bamboo-y Christmas that is up for purchase for only two days? We should not take this lightly.

For some reason, Isshiki was sulking while looking at the interaction between us three. I suspect that it had something to do with Hikigaya, but let's leave it at that for now.

"So, we're going with just the four of us, right?" reconfirmed Isshiki.

I nodded. We did have only four tickets, so that was completely reasonable. However, Hikigaya looked at Hiratsuka-sensei as if he was unsure about something.

"Well, since it's just the four of you out collecting data, there's no problem," said Hiratsuka-sensei to Hikigaya.

Speaking of Destinyland, I remembered that I had a one-year pass. I had purchased it earlier this year since I occasionally went alone to that gift shop in Destinyland selling exclusive goods. It was fortunate that I realized this. That means that the fourth ticket could be used by a fifth person.

"I have a year passport, so one of the tickets won't be necessary," I stated.

Hikigaya looked surprised and muttered under his breath, "A whole year? Just how much do you-"

I could not hear the rest of what he said as he trailed off. Presumably, it was a random comment, so it should be okay if I didn't know what he said.

As if waiting for something like this to happen, Isshiki quickly suggested, "In that case, I can invite another person, right? We can have good balance that way tooooo."

She smiled cunningly.

"Who are you planning on inviting?" inquired Hikigaya.

"It's a secret!" she answered.

Hikigaya frowned as if he knew the answer. I haven't interacted with Isshiki as much as him, but even I would have a good guess at who she would invite. According to the epitome of female teenagers, Yuigahama Yui, Destinyland was the perfect spot for a date. One would invite the perfect man to this perfect date. Only one such person fit the youthful criterion of perfect.

---

I pulled out my smart phone to check the time. Nine o'clock. I had arrived at Destinyland a whole hour earlier than the appointed time. After all, the morning rush at the train station was no less heavier during the weekends than the weekdays. Japan was just that congested. Crowds were stuffy, stinky, and way too tight, so it was necessary that I went as early as possible as the crowdedness only got worse as the day went on. As they say, the early bird catches the worm. At least that was what I was trying to tell myself. Despite the weather being three degrees Celcius, I was probably shaking my body for a different reason than coldness, not that I would admit it.

Even at this early time, families and couples made their way through the ticket gate to Destinyland. However, the lineup was quite long. Dressing up in bright red and green colours, the employees performed their jobs of checking over people's admission tickets frantically, letting people in as fast as they could, in an attempt to curb the waiting time for their customers. The rate-determining step in any multi-process was always the slowest step. In this case, bypassing the ticket gate held everyone up, preventing them from entering as quickly as they wanted to.

That said, the line was progressing at a sufficient rate such that if I were to line up myself, I would reach the front before the appointed time arrived, so I had no choice but to sit on a bench nearby and wait.

The sky was smooth gray, without a cloud in sight. That was good as no rain would come. I was fine waiting in the coldness like this as I was dressed in a warm knit sweater, a long scarf, and black mittens. Though I had decided to wear a skirt today, my tights and boots were enough to keep my lower half warm.

Surrounding Destinyland was a white medieval-style castle wall. Unlike real castle walls, however, it was not so high as to block out the view of the attractions beyond. Indeed, a large structure shaped like a volcano actively spewed out coloured smoke. Around that were a Ferris wheel turning gently, no doubt giving its riders a nice view of the rest of Destinyland as well as some parts of the city, as well as a rollercoaster, whose riders screamed so loudly that I could hear them even at this distance of a few kilometres away. The sight was enough to rile up even those without much interest in rides, such as I.

Though, I was less excited about the rides and more excited about the gift shop, not that I would admit that either.

As I sat there idly, gazing upon that familiar amusement park, a girl with pink hair in a bob came running up to me from behind.

"Yahallo! You sure are here early, Yukinon," greeted that girl, Yuigahama, with a beaming expression.

Yuigahama wore a puffy beige coat. On her head was a knit cap. A tuque, was it called? Around her neck was a red muffler wrapped carefully. Her mittens were larger than mine. She was probably less comfortable in the cold than I was. Though, that did not stop her from wearing a skirt in this weather.

"Only to escape the crowds," I said in slight defiance.

"Uh huh," she nodded in understanding.

She did not seem to believe me at all and acted like she knew the real reason why I came early. It's a little bit embarrassing for someone to guess at your true intentions, but since it was Yuigahama who did so, I did not feel too uneasy.

"Ehehe, aren't you excited?"

"Not particularly, no."

"Come on, don't you want to go on all those Pan-san rides?"

"Um, it would be lying if I said no."

"Ah, I haven't been here for a long time. I wonder which ride we should go on first."

"Please don't forget why we're here."

"I'm not, I'm not. But it would be a waste if we didn't at least go on each ride three times!"

"Given the amount of time there is in a single day, that would be a highly difficult plan of action. Given your average stamina, you probably can't run to each attraction quickly enough either."

"Muuu, Yukinon, you're saying that, but aren't you shaking with excitement right now?"

We exchanged meaningless small talk like that for a while. Yet, my conversation with Yuigahama could be counted as both meaningless and meaningful. The fact that we could now talk like this after all that had happened was, in itself, miraculous and full of meaning.

After a few minutes, another attendee of our meetup showed his face.

"Ah, Hikki!" cried out Yuigahama suddenly.

Hikigaya Hachiman walked slowly toward us, while Yuigahama quickly ran up to him. He was dressed very modestly, with a thick winter coat and beige gloves. At the moment, he was giving Yuigahama a slightly annoyed and embarrassed glare. Given his character, he was probably uncomfortable with that kind of ecstatic behaviour.

"Oh, you guys are early," he said to us in a slightly tired voice.

"Right, right. I thought I was here early, but Yukinon was the first to arrive," pointed out Yuigahama.

"Well, I just didn't want to dealt with the crowding train," I muttered, while turning my gaze to the side.

Hikigaya looked around, then said, "It's just Isshiki left, right?"

Yuigahama responded, "If it's Iroha-chan, then she's over there."

Yuigahama pointed to the corner store. I never really looked over there since I was pre-occupied with the sight of Destinyland. The door opened to the store and Isshiki Iroha walked out while happily chatting with someone behind her. The one that followed after her was, as expected, Hayama Hayato.

I sighed deeply. I knew from the start that this would happen.

However, it didn't end there. Miura, Ebina, and Tobe followed after Hayama. Almost their entire clique was present. I thought our objective for the day was to collect data to use for our own event. Why were all these useless extras present? Understaffing was one thing, but overstaffing was just a waste of resources. The marginal return for labour eventually decreases, after all.

Hikigaya's gaze met mine, as if asking if I knew what was going on. I turned to Yuigahama, expecting an explanation.

"Ummm," she studdered, "I-I mean, we had plans with each other already, and um, I can't just be Iroha-chan's only friend! I'm stuck in between two rocks, you know!"

Yuigahama groaned as she held her head with her hands. Sometimes Yuigahama's consideration was entirely unnecessary. There also existed the option of rescheduling her time with her other friends instead of having us all gather today. However, it seemed that thought never crossed her mind. Rather than moving along and trying to squeeze between two rocks, it was more like she attempted to carry two boulders and they held her down. I sighed at this preposterousness. I hope she was prepared for the consequences of bringing them here.

"Now, don't you go taking them along just because you can," I scolded her, "You'll take care of them, right?"

Yuigahama rapidly nodded, saying "I really will, okay?"

Well, Hayama and the rest shouldn't be that much of a burden on our activities. As long as they did not interfere, it would be fine. It would be rude to send them back or go separate ways. I suppose we should accept this situation for now. Rather, it was Yuigahama's problem and not ours.

"That's fine then," I affirmed, "It's not something we should be too concerned with."

"Yukinon..." she muttered.

Yuigahama had a look of both relief and thankfulness, as if I were a parent granting the her, the child, permission. She probably misunderstood something, but at least it saved some trouble.

Suddenly, Hikigaya assumed a serious expression for a second and warned her, "Yuigahama, don't try supporting them or anything."

Yuigahama and I did not immediately understand what Hikigaya was referring to. Hikigaya's head turned to face a certain member of Hayama's group — Tobe. Then, we understood.

"Ah, right, I guess," she said solemnly.

We all became downcast. A chilly wind blew past us, and the gate area became a little quieter as the guests managed to enter the park.

Surely, he was referring to that time in the bamboo forest. The coldness of the wind and the black night that sucked out all warmth still weighed on the back of my mind. It was a hopeless situation, which demanded an equally hopeless solution. Were we wrong for taking up that request? Was there anything different we could have done? The answer was a resounding no. It was a no that you could not help but accept. The solution that Hikigaya was forced to carry out was, without a doubt, cold and vicious. It was a denial of truth. Yet, truth was not a requirement of a solution. Taking it all in himself, blotting out the problem with an even greater problem so that the initial problem was transferred instead of eliminated, it was a solution that was devoid of truth, yet one that we desperately needed. It was the worst possible answer. But, no matter how much I hated it, I could only leave it up to him.

The way we were right now, we did not have the strength to deal with something like that. The only thing we could do was hide it away and hope that it doesn't spring out some day. It was unfortunate, and it may even be cold-hearted, but their problems could only be solved on their own. We were not in any shape to help them.

Hikigaya changed the subject, "Well, there's not much we can do since they were called already. This works, though, since we can get them to help with collecting data and taking pictures."

"Yeah, right..." whispered Yuigahama as she tried to force a smile.

Yuigahama looked like she still harboured some doubts. I reached out and combed through her hair with my right hand in an attempt to brush those sentiments away. Her smooth, healthy hair glided gently over my hand, and a waft of melon scent tickled my nose.

We haven't even decided what to do at Destinyland yet. We should decide on a plan of action.

"If we're going to collect data, it'd be a good idea to decide on how we'll go around," I suggested.

"Ah, that's for sure!" exclaimed Yuigahama as she brightened, "What should we ride first?"

I wanted to quickly go to Pan-san's Bamboo Fight. No other ride showcased the Pan-san so well. Contained within that ten minute ride were all of the sides of Pan-san: his cuteness, his softness, his bamboo-y goodness, his cheerfulness, I could go on and on and on. I've scoured over dozens of websites on Destinyland, and Bamboo Fight received few negative reviews. It just goes to show how great Pan-san is. Thus, it was good if we went there as soon as possible. No, it was completely necessary that it would be among our first destinations. The pictures we could take would be incredible. I would definitely keep a few copies for my Pan-san album.

Hikigaya pointed behind him, saying "A ride? Well, maybe that, then."

His finger was directed toward at the train that had just arrived on the platform of the Keiyo Line.

"The train!?" screamed Yuigahama, "You're totally ready to go home!?"

"Hikigaya-kun, is your inactive body causing you to become this tired after you just got here?" I teased.

"Shut up," he retorted, "I bike all the time so that I don't look like a lonely person walking down the street with no one to talk. Of course I'm active."

While we were conversing, Isshiki and Hayama's group had noticed us and were making their way here. Isshiki jogged over with light steps. A beaming smile was plastered on her face from cheek-to-cheek. It seemed that she was in a terrific mood.

"Senpai, good mooorning!" greeted Isshiki.

"Yeah," returned Hikigaya.

We exchanged greetings. Yuigahama, without question, amicably chatted them up just fine. As for me, I maintained my usual sense of distance. Hikigaya, however, seemed a little awkward, especially around Hayama.

Finished with the greetings, Isshiki took charge and said "Since we're all here, shall we get going?"

The line to the gate had shortened considerably. We waited only a short five minutes before we could enter the park. We headed down a short road toward the central plaza. Signs that said "You are about to enter a paradise", "Your wonderful retreat begins now" and the like surrounded us in an effort to rile up the guests. It hadn't snowed yet, but artificial snow was spread out along the walkway, as well as various Christmas-themed decorations.

We arrived at the central plaza. Collectively, we let out gasps. A towering, majestic Christmas tree proudly pointed up toward the sky, shining its colourful lights and showing off its glittering ornaments. Western-style buildings housing restaurants, shops, and other facilities lined up along the street. With the white castle walls around the whole place, it felt like a medieval castle town. A lion mascot wearing Santa-themed attire played with kids under the Christmas tree.

"Uooooh! The tree's amazing! Totally getting pumped up!" screamed Tobe.

The scene was ripe for picture-taking. We took out our cameras and cell phones and began snapping pictures of the scenery. We also took pictures of each other as we stood in front of the Christmas tree and buildings. I was pushed around by Yuigahama everywhere as we became the subjects of many photos. Between each picture, we transitioned to another location so quickly that I had absolutely no time to prepare myself for photos. I wasn't used to such vivacity, so I became a little bit distressed and uneasy.

"Yuigahama, please slow down," I complained.

"Aw, come on, Yukinon!" said Yuigahama, "We're already here, so we might as well make some memories, right?"

I was always subject to picture-taking in the past, so I now automatically posed whenever a camera was thrust in front of me. As we pounced from the tree to the surrounding decorated plants to the lavish buildings, my energy quickly drained. Yuigahama was still full of vitality, though. Perhaps those deplorable gluttonous masses on her chest provided her with a large fatty acid reservoir for gluconeogenesis.

After what I thought was the last picture, I released the tension on my shoulders and sighed. I was already tired just from all that, for lack of a better term, modelling.

Yuigahama approached Hikigaya, saying "Hikki, thanks for waiting."

He looked like he had no clue what she was talking about. I found it rather sad that Yuigahama assumed that he would wait around while the rest of us went off to take pictures. What was even more depressing was that he, himself, expected that outcome, and even became confused when someone pointed out what he assumed was the obvious. Such was the poor life of one who has been left aside by society, Losergaya-kun.

Suddenly, Yuigahama grabbed my hand. Then, she took a firm hold of Hikigaya's scarf. She pulled us both close together. Hikigaya had a stupidly bewildered scowl on his face, but my own face also displayed surprise. Our faces became close.

The sounds of shutters was heard. With that, Yuigahama released us and quickly ran to Ebina, who had been standing away from us with a camera poised in her hand.

"Yui, I took the picture," said Ebina.

"Ah, thank you," nodded Yui.

I distanced myself from Hikigaya promptly while fixing my scarf. Yuigahama came back to us, waving around the camera on picture display mode.

"Yuigahama-san, that was uncalled for," I voiced out my dissatisfaction.

"Don't go taking pictures like that," simultaneously complained Hikigaya.

Yuigahama became a little upset. Nonetheless, she pressed on as if it didn't matter.

"Eeeh? If I asked you two, you probably would have said no, anyway," she said while shrugging.

Hikigaya shook his head and said, "Not really."

"Well no, but it's not good to go around taking pictures on a whim like that," I sighed.

Yuigahama became dejected and looked at the floor.

"I-I'm sorry, I'll ask next time," she muttered.

"There won't be a next time," I coldly responded with a sneer on my face.

It was a little bit of a revenge for dragging me around left, right and centre. Perhaps that was a tiny bit mean, but I felt that it should be alright. Being close meant being able to disagree with each other and to tease each other without everything become awkward and without straining your relationship. If I could squabble like this with Yuigahama, then that was enough for me.

I walked on ahead. There was still plenty more to do today.

"I'm really sorry! Yukinon, wait up!" exclaimed Yuigahama as she dashed up to me.

We began walking down the road once more. The attractions were up and about in full throttle. Street lights started to turn off in response to the rising sun. Perhaps we should have treated the sun coming out even on a winter day a miracle. However, none of its warmth could be felt in this chilly morning. Yet, there was not a single soul around who complained about the coldness. Those around had their own plans, and surely they sought to enjoy their day in paradise.

Yuigahama and I conversed about where to go next. As we did so, I caught a glimpse at the display screen of the camera that she had neglected to turn off. The picture that was taken just moments ago was shown on the screen. Yuigahama stood in the centre, grinning as she held onto Hikigaya's scarf and my hand. Hikigaya's cheeks were flushed faintly with pink, clearly showing his embarrassment at doing something he was not used to. Unfortunately, my own face was not much of an improvement over his as I was also unprepared.

Caught by surprise, that picture surely showed our genuine reactions.

---

Space Universe Mountain. This rollercoaster consisted of terrifying loops, monstrously fast speeds, and flashing lights as the rider experienced an adventure through the reaches of space. As with any amusement park, their rollercoasters were surely one of their main attractions.

We were standing outside the dome of SpaMT, which was the attraction's hub. An enormous queue extended out of the entrance, showing just how popular this type of ride was. The thrill and adrenaline one felt from a rollercoaster was nearly unparalleled. It would oust the stresses of everyday life, their troubles being ejected out of them in the form of screams.

That said, a rollercoaster had nothing to do with Christmas. We had no business here.

"This wouldn't be such a great reference, right?" I announced.

However, Yuigahama was already making her way to the line.

"But, well, that place has a wreath, so it should be fine! Let's line up!" bellowed Yuigahama.

What a ridiculous reason. There were far better-decorated regions throughout Destinyland. Even the gate was more well-decorated; we would not even have to enter the park if we could solve our problems by referencing areas of such low-levels of Christmas-ness.

Except that Yuigahama began staring at me with teary puppy eyes, begging me to come with her. Strictly speaking, I was not doing anything considered wrong, but an uncomfortable sweat went down my spine regardless. Yuigahama sure had a knack for making people feel guilty.

"Fine, just this once," I conceded.

Although, I still thought that coming here served no practical purpose for our objective.

I queued up together with Yuigahama. The seats on the rollercoaster were arranged in rows of pairs, after all.

Behind us, Miura and Isshiki quarrelled over who would sit with Hayama. However, an unforeseen circumstance occurred. Tobe, being completely oblivious, begged Hayama to sit with him out of fear for the ride. Hayama agreed with a wry smile, though he was probably relieved that he had a way out of the cat fight. Sniped from an unexpected angle, Miura and Isshiki could only stare dumbfoundedly.

Hikigaya and Ebina stood behind those four. As expected of the antisocial, dead fish-eyed boy, he was unable to start a decent conversation with Ebina. Well, they did exchange a few words. Those two were closer than I had thought. Zero was greater than a negative number, after all.

As the line progressed, we eventually made it inside the dome. The interior was very dark, and it was difficult to see the faces of those a couple metres away from you. However, that darkness was on purpose. Space was simulated. Projections of planets and stars arranged in constellations were displayed around the entirety of the room. To the average person, it was an extremely breathtaking sight. To the expert, however, they would probably frown at the inaccuracies of the planets' and stars' positions due to the prioritization of artistic value.

After a couple minutes, Yuigahama and I got to the front of a line. The roller coaster car ahead was meticulously crafted into a kind of spaceship one would find in a child's cartoon. We sat down on the front-most pair of seats.

"Yukinon, w-will you be alright?" shakily asked Yuigahama.

"I think so," I responded, "Why do you ask?"

"B-Because, I don't know if you can handle this type of thing, you see," meekly said Yuigahama.

"Don't take me for a weakling," I retorted, "I won't be shaken by just a roller coaster."

"If you say so, Yukinon," said Yuigahama, "But if you get scared, it's okay to grab onto me. You can rely on me!"

"No, I won't need to," I reassured her, "I've been on this ride plenty of times in the past. I should be used to it by now. The last time I went on was a year ago."

The car began moving slowly up the track. As expected of a popular and high quality amusement park, the car did not rattle at all. I was completely relaxed.

"By the way, Yukinon, have you heard of the changes made to the ride a month ago?" mentioned Yuigahama.

"Of course," I said, "They thought that the ride wasn't exciting or scary enough, so they tripled the speed, added in new twists and turns, and- oh."

Before I could finish my thoughts or realize that I had not steeled myself enough for a ride of newly-increased intensity, the slow-moving car shifted gears and began blitzing away at staggering speeds. A scream left my lips before I could force it down my throat.

---

I staggered out of the stopped car first. My clothes and hair were in disarray, and my sense of balance was off. As shameful as it was to admit it, the roller coaster's improvements managed to throw me out of the loop. It felt like my total loss. I became a little angry at my failure.

I somehow stumbled my way out of the dome with Yuigahama trailing behind me. We continued onward, weaving around the crowds. There were more people in the park than before we went on the ride. Children ran in random directions, bumping into people and tripping. Mothers chased after them, while their fathers sighed as if it couldn't be helped. A few guests brought their dogs, some of which whimpered out of intimidation from the noise.

My stomach lurched for a little bit, and I suddenly stopped moving. I held my stomach and desperately held down my vomit. Sour hydrochloric acid seeped up through my esophagus and into my mouth, but I noiselessly swallowed it.

"Yukinon, are you okay?" asked Yuigahama in concern.

"I'm fine..." I muttered, "Just the crowds are getting to me."

I began walking forward again, signalling to her that I was okay.

I looked around for our companions. They were all behind us. I spotted a sickly-looking Isshiki, who was surprisingly being taken care of by Miura even though they fought earlier. Tobe looked incredibly shaken from the ride as even now he was clinging onto Hayama, who could only smile wryly. Ebina stared at the two guys with a rather uncouth expression, which would not be healthy to read more into. Hikigaya trailed behind everyone, looking relatively okay compared to the rest, though even he could not escape some disorientation. His rotten fish eyes were fixed forward absentmindedly, and his walking speed was below his average. Still, everyone else was moving along even slower than him. Before long, he surpassed them all and caught up to Yuigahama and I.

"Yo," he greeted.

"Hikki!" exclaimed Yuigahama, "How was the Space Mountain?"

"Ah, it was alright, I guess," he answered.

"O-Oh, that's good," said Yuigahama.

"Y-Yeah," muttered Hikigaya.

After saying that, we became silent for a while. I walked alongside Yuigahama, and Hikigaya trailed behind by about four steps.

An awkward air hung about us three. Yuigahama stuttered, saying unintelligible phrases and looking backward, before losing her words and closing her mouth. She repeated that several times. Each time, Hikigaya looked on with a bit of anticipation. She was probably attempting to start a conversation, but was unable to. Eventually, she gave up while looking a little defeated.

We had conversed fine earlier, but perhaps we had exhausted all of our words. People who were very different simply could not produce an unlimited amount of conversation topics between them. Thus, after all of the trivial matters were discussed, truly nothing was left. It was stalemate situation.

Once again, the difficulty of searching for that which was genuine was shown clearly to me. The gap between us three were legions wide. Yuigahama was a bit of an airhead and not very intelligent, yet she was kind and energetic. Hikigaya lacked proper social skills and his demeanor caught the eye of none, yet he was perceptive and, at times, reliable. However, none of those words could fully describe those two people. Humans could not be summarized into neat paragraphs. They were too irrational, too complex, and too dynamic. If knowing someone was impossible, then being able to understand them was an insurmountable task.

I looked backward. My eyes met with Hikigaya's. He was currently wearing an exasperated look, one that said that the large crowds of people around were tiring him out. He did not even try to hide it, though he knew that no one would pay attention to him anyway.

"What is it?" he inquired.

"Nothing," I responded and faced forward again with a smile.

However, that was probably just what life was. Grasping at straws and trying to make sense of a puzzle were what occurred when individuals interacted. We accepted the challenge. Losing may be inevitable, yet we still tried going for gold.

We would only be satisfied if-

Wait, did I just see Pan-san up ahead?

Surely enough, the familiar grizzly panda mascot was seen patrolling around the entrance to another attraction. It was still far away, but I recognized that attraction as Pan-san's Bamboo Fight.

Spectacular. That ride was the sole reason why anyone would come to Destinyland. It was a ride that whisked you away to the bamboo-y fields and forests where Pan-san lived. It was an entrance to a world beyond ours.

Coming to this ride was another part of our plans. Of course, Bamboo Fight also had nothing to do with Christmas. Pan-san's quest for bamboo that had him meet up with his friends and reconcile such that they would work together surely would not serve as a useful reference. However, I did not find the will in myself to complain. As prudent as I was, it would be foolhardy to ignore a diamond presented to you. That was what this situation was, so it couldn't be helped that we came to Bamboo Fight.

We quickly decided on who would ride with who. As expected, Isshiki and Miura's war over Hayama was not over. While they bickered, Hayama persuaded them to make a compromise, saying that he would ride with both of them. With that decided, there was still Yuigahama, Hikigaya, Tobe, Ebina, and me left. Given who we were, however, it was obvious who was going to sit with who. We did not need to exchange words.

"Shall we get going?" I said naturally to Yuigahama.

"Yeah," she affirmed.

I took my spot in the line to the ride, and Yuigahama came beside me. The line twisted and turned multiple times, attempting to pack as many people in as possible. This efficient queuing itself spoke of how many people were lined up for this ride, and of its popularity. However, there was not a single person living on Earth who liked to wait. I desperately wished for the speed of entry to increase. I could hardly stop my arms from shaking in excitement.

"Yukinon, what do you usually do to pass the time like this?" asked Yuigahama.

"I don't know," I responded, "But I just want to get this over with as soon as possible."

"I-It's not going anywhere, Yukinon, so please don't look so angry," said Yuigahama.

"Just how much do you want to get on this ride?" muttered Hikigaya under his breath.

After a while, the line shuffled forward as people boarded the ride. However, space was limited, so the advancement soon stopped, and we were back to waiting. A while after that, the process repeated. Through this motion, our group slowly advanced forward.

"Too slow," I said.

"Y-Yukinon..."

I wanted to get on. No, I needed to get on.

After the ninth repetition, we were just about to reach the ride. Five people in front of us decreased to four. Four became three, three became two, and two became one. I placed my right foot forward, expecting to board the ride.

Suddenly, the gate swung shut right in front of me. Had I gone three steps further, it would have collided with my stomach.

"Sorry, ride's full," called out the ride attendant, "You'll have to wait for the next round."

Next round? Next round, you say? After we were this close, we had to be delayed yet again. We waited all this time, and the promised land was within our sight. It was right there. Yet, we were denied. We reached out our hands, and it was slapped away. Unbelievable. This was almost criminal.

I clenched my fists, and I gnashed my teeth.

"H-Hikki, what should we do?" whimpered Yuigahama, "She's in a really bad mood right now."

"Don't ask me," responded Hikigaya, "You think I can stop a blizzard? Let the snow princess be, lest you incur her wrath."

What felt like a millennium later, our turn finally came up. Without a moment to lose, I gallantly boarded the ride. For some reason, Hikigaya hesitated, but Yuigahama pulled him up. I sat down on the seat furthest right. To my left was Yuigahama, and to her left was Hikigaya. Yuigahama inched toward me, greatly reducing the amount of stretching room I had.

"Space," I muttered.

"Ah, sorry," apologized Yuigahama.

She inched in the opposite direction. That was good. Enjoying a ride meant that one had to become comfortable. I did a few stretches with my arms, and I cocked my head around in a circle. I tensed up my spine one last time, then relaxed my whole body. I was truly ready now.

A loud hiss of air was heard, likely due to the activation of some pneumatic mechanism. The vehicle we were seated in began moving forward at a slow pace. We headed straight toward a tunnel so dark that seeing the person beside you was almost impossible. The loud chatter of the guests eventually died down as everyone anxiously anticipated what was to come.

Suddenly, a large screen lit up, showing Pan-san in extremely high resolution. He sprinted left and right, searching for bamboo, occasionally tumbling with a funny sound effect. Around us, lights switched on, revealing multitudes of plush Pan-san dolls marching in a line to and fro around the forest background made of papier-mâché. As the Pan-san dolls assumed a sinusoidal configuration in their march, so too did the vehicles of the ride. As the dolls waved back and forth, the vehicles alternated their tilts left and right. The matching movement of the vehicles truly did give the impression that we were directly participating in the Pan-san play. No, it was as if we were drawn into the wonderful world of Pan-san.

"This is pretty amazing," commented Hikigaya.

"Quiet," I uttered.

Hikigaya twisted his neck and stared at me annoyingly, but I ignored it. The ride was far more important at this moment, and I could not afford to have any distractions.

The vehicle continued onward. We experienced Pan-san's hardships firsthand. Winter came, and snow blanketed the horizons, making it impossible for Pan-san to look for bamboo. Many people, including me, groaned in pity as we watched Pan-san huddle up near a fireplace, attempting to heat himself up during that cold wintery night. Spring came, and Pan-san resumed his hunt. He searched and searched, but found very few shoots of bamboo. It was then that he realized that climate change and global warming reduced the yield of bamboo. Misfortune after misfortune piled up.

Yet, Pan-san never ceased to smile throughout all that. Unfortunately, due to the way his face was, his smile always came out looking devious, yet the audience knew that Pan-san was not always feeling evil in his heart.

Eventually, Pan-san sought the help of his friends. The troubles that he had experienced before were overcome easily with the combined strength of many hands. It was a terribly cliché resolution. Yet, the cuteness of it all more than compensated for it. Curtains fell after the final scene, and the vehicle transported us back to the main hub.

---

With no other purpose remaining, the three of us headed out of the hub of the ride upon its conclusion. We spotted Hayama and his two not-mistresses waiting outside the entrance way as we walked out. Behind us was Tobe and Ebina.

I felt extremely lightheaded and vivid. I was unable to focus my attention on anything in particular. My head was still full of Pan-san, Pan-san, and Pan-san. I felt like I had attained some state of inner peace. My gait was slowed, yet unsteady, and I almost walked into various objects a few times, prompting Yuigahama to look at me with a strained smile.

It was not like me to space out like this for so long, and it would be troublesome if it interfered with our objectives today. With an inhalation, I gathered up my blissfulness. With an exhalation, I sighed deeply in one final bout of revelling as I pulled myself together.

Oh, what was that over there? I spotted a gift shop close to the ride. Needless to say, it was stuffed full of Pan-san merchandise. It seemed Yuigahama noticed as well.

"Hey, Hikki," spoke Yuigahama, "There's a Pan-san shop over there. What should we do?"

"A Pan-san shop, huh?" muttered Hikigaya, "Let's see..."

Another of our primary goals here was to purchase a present for Komachi. The opportunity to do so was at hand, given close proximity of the Pan-san gift shop. Indeed, we should go inside as soon as possible.

Hikigaya turned to Hayama's group and said, "Sorry, I'm going to do some shopping over there."

Isshiki, looking amused, giggled, "Oh, Senpai? What are you going to buy from there?"

"A present for my sister," awkwardly said Hikigaya.

I could understand Isshiki's reaction. One could say that the mixing of Pan-san and Hikigaya was one that formed a suspension, rather than a solution. What a misfortune.

"I see," nodded Hayama, "So, what should the rest of us do? Go with them?"

"I'll pass," rejected Miura, "I mean, isn't Pan-san's eyes totally not cute at all? I want to see Sassy Cat Marie-chan instead."

My, my, Miura. I suppose a barbarian such as yourself is unable to understand the true value of Pan-san. Such unrefined tastes. It was truly a case of pearls before swines. How degenerating. Pan-san's eyes were not cute? Could anything have been farther the truth? Rather than being an un-cute characteristic, his slanted, thief-like eyes were one of his cutest aspects. The disconnect between his slightly unfriendly face and his actual caring side created the ultimate cuteness. Children around the world are clearly enchanted by Pan-san, yet you had the nerve to spout out such a diatribe. It disgusted me to think such a person existed.

"Huh, reaaaaally?" said Isshiki as she quickly dashed into the shop and picked up a common Pan-san plushy that could be found in any toys shop.

"Something like this is cute too. Right, Hayama-senpai?" said Isshiki with a large grin.

I nodded to myself. Even if I had seen that particular plushy hundreds of times in various shops around Chiba, Pan-san never failed to appear cute to me. I was glad that at least one person around me had refined tastes.

Miura's distastefulness and Isshiki's tastefulness aside, Hayama's gang still hadn't decided what to do yet. As they pondered for a few more seconds, Tobe snapped his fingers and spoke up.

"Seems like we ain't buyin' anything. Then we better line up for lunch. At this rate, things'll get packed," suggested Tobe.

Hayama appeared to have been okay with it. Miura and Isshiki looked displeased, but as expected, they would definitely follow Hayama no matter what he chose to do.

"Sorry about this," apologized Hikigaya.

"No worries, no worries. You have to do this for your sister, right?" chuckled Tobe. "Hayato-kun, let's get to that hotdog stand over there!"

With that, Hayama, Tobe, Miura, Isshiki and Ebina walked toward the food stands, leaving behind me, Yuigahama and Hikigaya. We headed inside the gift shop.

Immediately greeting us was a large inanimate figure of Pan-san holding a basket with miniature Pan-san keychain accessories inside. Before I realized it, I had already grabbed hold of three of the accessories. With a flushed face, I returned two of the accessories to the basket. I took off my muffler to cool myself down, not necessarily due to the high temperature of the shop itself.

Taking a good look around, the gift shop looked to be about the same as when I had visited it earlier this year. Strewn upon the numerous shelves on tables of the store were many kinds of objects with Pan-san and his friends as the theme. Not only were there the usual toys and stuffed dolls of Pan-san, but there were also household goods like pizza cutters, knives, spoons, forks and plates all adorned with the lovable creatures. New to this year was a hardware corner. I could see a little girl dragging her papa to a section full of wrenches and screwdrivers.

I turned to the two and said, "Shall we go looking for a present for Komachi-san?"

"Yeah. Much appreciated. If you find anything nice, let me know," replied Hikigaya.

I nodded. Ultimately, it was up to the older brother Hikigaya, the one closest to Komachi, to have the final say in the present. The usage of knowledge of your siblings to choose presents for them was a wonderful thing. I truly thought so, given the nature of my own older sister.

"Yes, I'll see what I can find," I assured Hikigaya with a smile.

But just saying that I liked it did not mean much. If I truly respected Hikigaya's thoughtfulness, I needed to take this seriously. Although, I would have taken this seriously even if it was not for a present. Such was the life of a Pan-san connoisseur.

I strolled deep inside the shop, quickly moving to the high-quality plushie section. Hikigaya and Yuigahama were, as expected, not as familiar with the shop as I was. They quickly got left behind. I wanted to wait for them to catch up, but I suppressed my urge. The mission at hand was far more important at the moment, so I needed to do my best.

This particular section that I arrived at contained a mixture of plushies first introduced both recently and a long time ago. Age was ignored here. The ones that were gathered were only the best. A few notable examples included the one-metre tall gold plush of Neptune, a dog character; the 1980s incarnation of Pan-san with even wilder-looking eyes; and the red-haired tiger character named Tigre. Come to think of it, there was also a character named Tigre in one of the books that the chuunibiyou boy liked to read.

Unfortunately, I knew nothing about Komachi's tastes. Thus, all I could do was pick out the ones that were popular amongst fans. I swiped several plushies off of the shelves. Ninja Pan-san, Samurai Pan-san, Neptune the Maid, and Bow-Wielding Tigre went into my arms, in addition to others. Before I knew it, I began cradling, like a baby, a massive pile of plush dolls with both of my arms. Even for me, picking just one among all of these good choices was a major dilemma. I was unsure if he would be easily able to choose one.

I headed back to Yuigahama and Hikigaya. They appeared to be looking at the general toys section, which had a large variety of items like pens, pencils, puppets, and cheap jewellery. For some reason, Yuigahama wore a headband with the ears of Neptune on her head. Oddly, I thought it fit her.

"Which one might Komachi-san like, I wonder?" I anxiously asked the two.

Hikigaya wore a befuddled face when he saw the pile in my arms.

"Th-that, you certainly took a lot," he muttered.

"I couldn't really decide, so I-"

"Hey, Yukinon," interrupted Yuigahama.

"What is it, Yuigahama?" I responded.

Suddenly, Yuigahama reached out her arm and placed something on my head. A weak clamping force pressing in on both sides of my head could be felt. Yuigahama must have placed a headband of some sort on my head.

"Wh-what is this?" I asked blankly.

Ignoring me, Yuigahama exclaimed, "Hikki, take a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture now!"

I was unable to reach for my head since both of my arms were occupied by the plushies. Yuigahama stood next to me and held onto my jacket. Hikigaya looked startled, but he raised his camera anyway, and snapped a picture.

"Hikki, show us the picture!" yelled Yuigahama as she dashed over and snatched the camera from Hikigaya's hands.

Unfortunately for Hikigaya, the camera hung around his neck by a cord. Thus, when Yuigahama grabbed the camera, she also pulled on the cord, constricting the neck of poor Hikigaya. I sighed.

"Yuigahama, Hikigaya-kun is in pain right now," I warned Yuigahama.

"Huh? Oh, sorry!" apologized Yuigahama as she quickly bowed while still holding onto the camera.

That action caused Hikigaya to bend over forward as well, and their heads collided. With a "Yah!" from Yuigahama and a "Geh!" from Hikigaya, they both fell backwards, with Yuigahama finally releasing the camera from her grip.

The camera's screen was visible to me as the two laid down on the floor. The last taken picture was displayed. In that picture, I discovered that the hair band had cat ears on it, much like Yuigahama's dog ear hair band. Actually, these were probably the ears of Tigre, so they should really be tiger ears. They did not look too bad on me at all. I should purchase these.

Hikigaya slowly got up from the floor and said to Yuigahama, "N-No, it's alright. Ow..."

"Hikigaya, which one would be best for Komachi-san?" I inquired.

While rubbing his behind, Hikigaya inspected the pile in my hands. He did so quite briefly without scrutinizing each individual plush. He thought for a moment, then looked at the price tag on one of the plushies. With wide eyes, he shook his head.

"No, uh, I don't think that I should give Komachi something as expensive as these," he said.

I had overlooked the price. The section that I got these plushies from certainly did have the best of the best, but their prices certainly matched their value a little too well. For someone like Hikigaya, a member of the middle class, it would be unfeasible for him to fork over that much cash just for a toy. However, if it was just the money barrier, I could help him overcome it if it was for Komachi.

"If it's money, I'll cover for you this time," I offered.

"No, it's not about that," he scratched his head, "I know it's a present, but if we go overboard, it will be awkward for us all. It's not supposed to be something that big."

Yuigahama, after standing up with a sore expression, added, "Ah, that's true. Imagine if you were to give her a ring or something."

"Are you implying that I am a siscon again?" accused Hikigaya, "I'll have you know that I would have proposed to her long ago if she wasn't my sister."

"H-Hikki, your jokes go too far as usual," croaked Yuigahama.

I wanted to place my face in my palms, but such an action was currently impossible for my occupied hands.

"Anyway," said Hikigaya after he coughed, "I'm sorry, Yukinoshita, but I can't give her any of the ones you got."

I was a little disappointed, but I was unable to argue with the ultimate decision by the big brother. But, these really were nice plushies. I supposed that I shall keep some for myself. I called out to the sales associate and handed to her the plushies that I decided not to buy.

"Yukinon, you're keeping that much!?" bellowed Yuigahama.

"Oi, that's over three quarters of them," grunted Hikigaya.

"My wallet feels empty just looking at those..." said Yuigahama wearily.

So, we needed to choose something cheaper. That was the condition. Even with that restraint, however, there was still too many things to choose from. It was a bit disappointing, but I had already done all that I could with recommendations. I could only comment on whatever Hikigaya and Yuigahama chose now. My role had to change from attack to support.

"Have you two chosen anything yet?" I questioned.

"Um, well, how about that puppet from earlier?" suggested Yuigahama.

"Puppet?" I said as I tilted my head.

"Ah, no," said Hikigaya while faintly blushing for some reason, "Even though I said to not get something expensive, that cheap-looking puppet will seem thoughtless."

"Then what about a Pan-san pencil sharpener?" suggested Yuigahama again, "Komachi is studying for exams, right?"

"No," denied Hikigaya, "However, getting something to help her out with exams is a good idea."

The most obvious way to help someone out with exams is to help them study. Perhaps what Komachi needed were study aids.

"A study guide, then. Or maybe we can get together and make one for her," I proposed.

"That sounds helpful, but it doesn't sound like that great of a gift," flatly said Hikigaya, "It would probably give Komachi more stress. And wouldn't that defeat the purpose of coming here? We should get a gift from this shop."

We were at a roadblock. Hikigaya put two fingers to his temple and tried to think. I was out of ideas myself. I looked toward Yuigahama, and she, too, was thinking hard.

"Exams, huh? I totally don't like those," commented Yuigahama, "They stress me out and stuff, and I take way too many breaks while studying to calm myself."

"Yuigahama, please fix your studying habits, and maybe your stress will be less," I said after sighing.

"Y-Yukinon..."

"A break, huh?" muttered Hikigaya, "Then, maybe that."

He pointed at an item on the shelf behind him. Many square pillows with images of Pan-san on them were strewn about each level of the shelf.

"Um, it's okay to take some breaks, so I want her to use those to relax and stuff. It will help with the stress," explained Hikigaya.

I stared blankly at the pillows. They looked quite firm, yet still soft. One could quickly fall asleep on it. The image of Pan-san would surely also relieve stress. Just looking at it already raised my spirits a bit. This should definitely help Komachi out. It was magnificent. In fact, I wanted one for myself too.

Noticing my face, Hikigaya stammered, "I-Is it no good, after all?"

I shook my head and said, "No, this would be a good gift. Komachi will surely be happy with it, Onii-chan."

"Yeah, this is totally perfect," agreed Yuigahama, "Good choice, Onii-chan."

"Could you stop it with the 'Onii-chan'?" complained Hikigaya while scratching his head.

With that decided, Hikigaya took a pillow from the shelf. Together, we walked to the register. I attempted to pay for everything, but Hikigaya shook his head and told me that it wouldn't feel right for me to impose. He probably wanted to use his own blood, sweat and tears for the happiness of his sister. We decided to pay for everything separately. After that, we left the gift shop with one bag in Hikigaya's hand, one bag in Yuigahama's hand, and three bags in my hand.

With our business done, we headed toward the foot court area, where Hayama and the rest were waiting. It was necessary to partake in the afternoon meal to replenish our stamina.

The winter sky was full of clouds even now, during the afternoon. However, a few gaps in the clouds leaked some sunlight through, illuminating Destinyland with the little, yet precious light. I put my muffler back on as it was still cold. However, being here beside my two companions warmed me up greater than the frost could chill.

---

I munched at the small sandwich in my hands one small bite at a time. Occasionally, I would also drink from my can of lukewarm tea. My appetite was not particularly large, even among girls, so I was satisfied with only this much.

Unfortunately, today was a particularly crowded day at Destinyland. All of the tables and benches in the food court area were occupied. We were forced to stand around the periphery of the place to eat our lunch.

Ebina, Tobe and Yuigahama formed a small group and chatted about various mundane things. Isshiki and Ebina were bickering as before, with Hayama being the rope for their tug-of-war. Hayama, himself, futilely tried to pacify the two. Hikigaya, as usual, was by himself, chomping on his large hamburger while browsing the internet on his phone. As pitiful as he was, I, too, was by myself.

After a couple minutes, I had consumed the last bite of my sandwich. I washed it down with a large gulp of tea. With nothing else to do, I planned on simply waiting quietly until everyone had finished eating and resting. However, that plan was made impossible to realize as a certain someone started heading towards me.

"Hey, Yukinoshita-san," greeted that someone named Hayama Hayato.

"Good afternoon, Hayama-kun," I greeted in turn.

He went to my side and stood there. His gaze was focused on the attractions around us. For a while, we silently remained in that position.

The chatter of the other guests was loud and unending. Music from the stalls and shops blared throughout the plaza, mixing into a disharmonious mess. The noise was unbearable and nauseous. If I had not eaten lunch, I would probably have no energy to steady myself from the pandemonium.

Finally, without turning to me, Hayama began speaking, "So, how are things?"

"Okay," I replied.

"Is that so?" said Hayama with a nonchalant expression, "That's good."

Hayama took a gulp out of the beverage in his hand before he continued, "Are you really okay?"

"Yes," I responded simply.

"You know," muttered Hayama, this time with a slightly sorrowful expression, "Hikigaya, he did something during the student council elections. He made it so that Isshiki-san would win. Did you know?"

Turning to Hayama, I answered, "He denied it. But I knew."

"I see. And, are you okay with that?" repeated Hayama as he turned and met my gaze.

Hayama stared at me with a troubled expression. His usual carefree expression was gone from his face. Instead, he wore a deep frown, and his eyes were as dull as lead. I was reminded of that day when Hayato-kun changed to Hayama, but I brushed that thought away.

I closed my eyes before responding, "No, I was not okay with that. Perhaps the situation was resolved in a way where no one was hurt. At least no one was supposed to be hurt."

I clenched the hem of my skirt and continued, "Even so, I lost something. What I set out to do, what I wanted to do, it all became meaningless."

That's right. I realized that I was dissatisfied not because I failed to fulfill my objectives. I became depressed because I knew that I could not do anything. I did not have what he had. With my weakness, I was unable to solve any problems, and I became disillusioned.

I opened my eyes and stared at Hayama with vigour, "But, I've found something now. No, I haven't found it, but I want to find it."

In the sunset on the school rooftop, the three of us decided to face each other. We wished, with all of our hearts, to be able to understand. It was the deepest desire of Hikigaya Hachiman. It became the support for Yuigahama Yui. It was a moment that finally gave Yukinoshita Yukino something.

"I see," said Hayama in a quiet voice, "So, it went like that. That's great, I think."

Hayama averted his eyes from me as if he was shielding his thoughts. However, he could not stop a lonesome expression from covering his face. The expression he had at that moment was surely the same as that expression in the past. Then and now, he could not take it back. Whatever he felt then, and whatever he feels now had and has been made into unshakeable reality.

Perhaps there was a chance back then, but it was forcibly torn apart. Now, we were entirely different people, and had entirely different ties. The chance had, for a long time, passed away.

"Well, break time's over," spoke Hayama in a noticeably brighter tone as he faced the conversing group of Tobe, Miura, Ebina, Yuigahama and Isshiki.

In a volume just sufficiently loud enough that only I could hear, Hayama provocatively added, "We should get going, Yukino-chan."

"Yes, we do need to move on, Hayama-kun," I replied in a nonchalant voice of normal volume, "We need to see the other attractions."

Hayama left my side and walked toward the group. Tobe shouted out his name and asked him where he wanted to go next. Hayama gave a neutral response, implying that he was fine with anything.

I turned my eyes away from Hayama. My eyes accidentally met with Hikigaya's, who was looking at me with a serious expression like one who paid attention in class. He quickly tore his eyes away while faintly blushing.

I downed the rest of my tea, which had gone cold. With the previous fatigue faded away, I stood up, ready to continue on with the day.

---

After we had finished our lunch, we resumed our journey around Destineyland. We went to many other attractions, taking pictures before and after we rode them. We occasionally revisited those that we particularly liked.

I never forgot our original purpose in coming here, but the others gradually forgot as the day went by. It was up to me to diligently remind Yuigahama to be on the lookout for potential material. However, I never had to remind Hikigaya to take pictures. He, on his own, would snap his camera at the scenery. I was grateful for that. Despite his lazy self and his dream of becoming a house husband, Hikigaya worked hard when it counted. But at this rate, he would become just another corporate slave. Dreams were fleeting things, indeed.

Given the remarkable size of Destinyland, attempting to cover the as much as the park as possible to gather material was tiring and time-consuming. Before we knew it, the sun had set and the night-time lighting had switched on around the park. However, even now, the density of the crowd never lessened. In fact, the crowdedness only swelled ever higher at night. Perhaps it was due to the events that would take place later tonight, such as the parade and fireworks.

By now, our group had grown weary, as if the lunch break we had earlier that day had not happened. Our pace had slowed to a speed below that of shoppers at a mall. With the exception of the ever-energetically conversing Yuigahama and Ebina, the number of words exchanged and the complexity of the vocabulary decreased greatly. The crowdedness did not serve to give us a peace of mind either. However, we still marched on forward in order to get to one or two more attractions before the night parade would start.

Suddenly, Isshiki, who was beside Hayama, lagged behind to talk to Tobe. She whispered something into his ear, which caused Tobe to put on a troubled expression. Tobe whispered back into Isshiki's ear while nodding, seemingly agreeing to a proposal. With a grateful smile, Isshiki thanked Tobe and rushed back to Hayama's side. Tobe remained looking troubled, scratching his head and pulling at his hair, while looking downward as he walked. Ebina had noticed that exchange and put on a rather sad smile for just one second before reverting back to her usual, more joyful one, as she continued talking with Yuigahama.

I had a bad premonition. The chilly winds coming from the coastline felt the same as that uncomfortable breeze which blew through the bamboo forest. In this night, at the same time as during the final day of the field trip, I was sure that something would happen.

I was unaware of it for a while, but I had clenched my fists tightly. Uncomfortable sweat glistened on the nape of my neck. I was feeling tense. However, that was no good. We still had a bit more to do today, so I couldn't lose myself in sentiments from that day. I deeply sighed, attempting to expel that tension out of my gut. I forced my heavy legs forward one step at a time.

Noticing me, Hikigaya slowed down his pace until he was beside me.

"You okay?" asked Hikigaya in concern for me.

"Yes," I replied briefly.

"Ah, okay," awkwardly murmured Hikigaya.

I turned my face away from him and silently added, "Thanks."

"Ah, crap!" exclaimed Yuigahama who was ahead of me.

I looked forward, first at Yuigahama, then at her surroundings. Then, I noticed that workers began roping off the street. Another worker placed down a sign saying "Parade in progress, do not cross". However, our group needed to cross the street. We needed to get to the other side before the barricade was fully set in place.

Hayama, Isshiki, Miura and Tobe, being the furthest ones ahead, sped out their walk and made it across first. Yuigahama and Ebina, being behind them, were forced to break into a sprint. They were fortunate, as they were able to touch down on the opposite sidewalk just as the worker closed it off. Hikigaya and I did attempt to run as well, but we were slow to start. The rope was placed in front of us five steps before we got there. We became separated.

Yuigahama, on the other side of the street, looked left and right, trying to locate Hikigaya and I. After a few seconds, she managed to locate us, the slow ones who could not cross.

"Go on ahead!" bellowed Hikigaya to Yuigahama, "We'll be right behind you."

"Got it!" shouted Yuigahama as she waved to us once before running to Hayama and the others.

Hikigaya turned to me. The two of us were alone now.

"W-Well, let's get going," he muttered.

"Y-Yes, I suppose so," I stammered.

Becoming separated was rather inconvenient. It was hard to locate other people within this crowd. However, it was not that big of a deal for us. We had planned for our next destination to be at Spride Mountain. We could simply meet up there.

Hikigaya led the way, and I obediently followed after him. Thanks to the blocking off of the road, the horribly packed crowd of people became even more congested, as those who needed to move were unable to move. It was like clogging a section of a pipe. If water continuously flowed in even after it was clogged, water would start to build up within the pipe. It was difficult to weave through the crowd, so I was forced to hold onto the sleeve of Hikigaya's coat so that we would not be separated.

After what seemed like a decade, we finally made our way to Spride Mountain's entrance. I looked around for Yuigahama and the others. However, I was unable to locate them. We should try something else. I turned to Hikigaya.

"Shall we call them?" I suggested.

"I guess so," said Hikigaya as he pulled out his cell phone.

I peeked at Hikigaya's cell phone as he operated it. He went to his contacts list, which was pitifully small. He paused for a moment, probably to consider who to call. He then decided to call Yuigahama. He put his phone to his ear. After a few seconds, Yuigahama's blatantly loud and cheerful voice bled through the speakers.

When Hikigaya was done talking, he hung up.

"It looks like we'll meet inside," said Hikigaya to me, "We'll use the FASTPASS line."

He looked at the FASTPASS lane and the normal lane before continuing, "Well, we'll just take the normal line until we get to the FASTPASS one."

The FASTPASS line could only be used after you were sufficiently ahead in the normal line; it could not be used right away. No, that's a bit incorrect. You technically could use the FASTPASS line if the normal line was short. However, the normal line was long enough to fill in the seven loops. The option of an early entrance to the FASTPASS line did not exist for us.

"Alright," I said while nodding.

With that, we queued in the normal line, which progressed at a steady pace. It wasn't fast, but it wasn't particularly slow either. That was thanks to the parade, which attracted people away from the attractions.

Spride Mountain was, without a doubt, Destineyland's greatest rollercoaster. Its architectural design had won many awards in engineering. Its high thrill level had put it on the front page of amusement park enthusiast magazines. Recently, its popularity raised even further thanks to its renovations for a more enjoyable and more exhilarating experience. Even though Splash Mountain had also been improved, Spride Mountain far surpasses it in terms of the scream factor.

That was bad. Splash Mountain was enough to nearly make me vomit. Spride Mountain would surely... surely...

I tried my best not to think about it. My shoulders and legs shook like I was hit by a curse. Fear and anxiety filled my thoughts. My heart rate began increasing. It beat so fast, that it felt like it would burst out of my chest.

"What's wrong?" asked Hikigaya.

I opened my mouth, but a garbled noise came out. I gripped the hem of my skirt so tightly that it stretched irrecoverably.

"Um, do you mind if I ask you something?" inquired Hikigaya.

"What could that be?" I tensely said.

Hikigaya looked squarely at my face. I straightened my back and attempted to put on a poker face to hide my nervousness.

"You, could it be that you're not very good with this?' questioned Hikigaya.

My eyes slowly sailed to the side to avoid his gaze. I was completely not okay with this. I wanted to run away immediately. I could not stand the sharp drops and the loops of rides such as these. The plummeting made you feel like you would splatter onto the ground. I was terrified.

I didn't want to appear that weak to Hikigaya, though.

"I-It's not that I'm not very good with this," I said, lying about it.

"You really need to say that ahead of time," muttered Hikigaya, "Let's just go back."

"No, I'm fine," I assured him, lying again.

"Well, you're not good with this kind of thing, right?" persisted Hikigaya.

I was happy that he was being considerate of me. However, at one point, I realized that, for some reason, I wanted to board this ride more than I wanted to leave it.

"Look, I said I was fine," I declared more strongly, this time with true words.

"Don't be an idiot," scolded Hikigaya, "Something like this isn't worth forcing yourself over with, let alone being stubborn with."

No, that wasn't it. I was not being stubborn like that. My stubbornness right now was not like my stubbornness during the student council election. I did not know the reason, but I felt that I needed to ride this with Hikigaya. I felt like I needed to prove something for myself. I was not trying to prove something wrong, but I was trying to prove something right. This desire was entirely illogical. However, I needed to do this illogical thing.

I lost myself by doing it in my usual ways. However, if I did it this way, then...

"...That's not it. I'm fine, really," I said sullenly, "I'm not forcing myself at all."

My shoulders, which were shaking from the tension from anticipating the ride, began shaking faster for something different. My gaze dropped to the floor. I shut off my mind. I voiced out my words without the filter of logic.

"I wasn't too confident, but I was okay when Yuigahama was with me before," I said clumsily, "That's why I'll be fine. I don't know, but I will probably be fine."

Hikigaya widened his eyes in amazement. However, it seemed that my irrational words got through to him somehow. He understood something, even though nothing rational was conveyed.

"Well, if you say so," he relented.

I relaxed just a little. I did it. I've proved it. With this, I've set something in stone.

That said, my anxiety of the ride still remained. As the line progressed further, and the inevitable came closer, I kept my head down, shaking my body all the more.

"Um, well, you should just take it easy," advised Hikigaya as he scratched his head, "It's not like you'll die from this."

"I-I suppose," I murmured.

Surely there were safety belts and handle bars we could hold onto. As well, the rollercoaster was supposed to be designed in such a way that, even as we experienced drops of tens of metres, we would not fall off. No, no, we would still be dropping. It was secured, but we'll still be falling. It was locked in place, but we'll still be going upside down.

I tried to reason with myself, to no avail. I could not get rid of my fear.

"...We won't die, right?"

"Don't worry. At least from what I've heard."

"We definitely won't die, right, Hikigaya?"

"Yeah, of course not."

"We... We won't fall off or anything, right?"

"Yukinoshita, just grab onto the bar. You'll be safe like that."

"W-We definitely, definitely won't die, right?'

We continued that exchange right up until we reached the boarding station for the ride. I sounded like a kid trying to get reassurance from her parents. I was embarrassed, but I was more scared than i was embarrassed. If only I wasn't traumatized by that.

We boarded a car of the rollercoaster. I tightly gripped the bar, just as Hikigaya suggested. The car slowly ascended up the rails into a relatively dark corridor. A delightful tune played to the theme of Br'er Weasel and Br'er Ferret came out of the speakers, but I did not have the luxury of listening to it. I affixed my gaze forward onto the rails, daring not to look down. My hands gripping the bar became sweaty and sticky.

"Yukinoshita-san, we're not dropping yet, so you don't need to hold it right now," said Hikigaya as soothingly as he could.

"I-I guess..." I uttered.

I slowly let go of the bar. I instinctively flinched, but it turned out that it was really okay. There was no drop immediately after I let go of the bar. This time, I truly relaxed. I sighed deeply, releasing my tension, leaving behind plain exhaustion.

"You really aren't good with this, huh?" commented Hikigaya.

I suppose there was nothing to hide. It should be fine telling him now. No, it was never something that needed to be hid, but I was always afraid to tell other people because I never truly trusted anyone for a long time.

"Yes. Long ago, with Nee-san, she did something," I started.

"Ah, with your sister," he groaned.

"It was something back when I was younger. Nee-san would always meddle every time we came to places like this," I said.

I recalled the times that my sister Haruno would take every chance to bring me on the brink of tears. Being the kind of person I was, I desperately held back, though not without showing off a pathetic expression every time. I chuckled cynically.

"She would shake the Ferris wheel."

It felt like the cage we were in would fall off.

"She would take my hands off the bars of roller coasters during drops."

I would scream like a banshee as I desperately tried to keep myself seated.

"One time, she spun the table in the coffee cup ride even after I reached my limit."

I was so dizzy that I could no longer tell up from down, left from right. I ran into benches, pillars, and other people, as I made my way to a garbage can to vomit.

"Nee-san looked like she had fun doing all that to me. Nee-san... she's always been like that," I concluded.

I always thought that talking about myself like this to other people would have brought me much embarrassment and shame. Yet, I felt little of those right now. Even though I should have been anxious right now, I became unexpectedly calm after talking.

I began taking note of the ride's features. Within that corridor, mechanical frogs in a river leaped to and fro across the lily pads. A rubbery snake slithered across the bank of the river. A mechanical vulture suspended by a nearly invisible string flew above the river.

The ascension of the car began to slow. That indicated that we were near the peak. We gradually entered a section of the corridor where the roof was open to the outside.

The vast, black night sky spread overhead. Being in a city, the stars were not visible. Despite being the cause, as if to compensate for that, the city lights below stretched as far as the eye could see. Hotels were gorgeously lit with Christmas lights of red and green. The newly constructed city centre did not lose to the hotels; at its walls were rows of stars created by Christmas lights. People littered the streets like ants, hoping to get some last minute Christmas shopping done. Out at sea, the active volcano glowed with red embers. Billows of grey smoke rose lazily into the sky.

Again, my tension began to rise as the car finally reached the peak. As I fixed my gaze to the white walls of Destinyland beyond the confines of the ride, my pulse quickened, and my vision narrowed. This was surely a stress response. I placed my hands back on the bar.

As we sat there in anticipation, contradictory emotions fought back in forth in me. One part of me was frightened. I reacted in the same way as back then with Haruno. Yet, I also fully realized that Haruno was nowhere near me at the moment. Beside me was Hikigaya Hachiman. He would surely not act like her. Rather than tease me, he showed concern for me. Even now, he may have been keeping my well-being in the back of my mind. Because that, another part of me felt assured. The battle between assurance and fear made me uncomfortable, but, strangely, it did not feel unnatural.

Another desire welled up within me at that moment. Hikigaya Hachiman, the lonesome boy whom I have known for half a year already, the one who broke into tears because he desired something so badly, was right there at this moment. To him, who had wanted to find a tiny beacon of light in his dark life, who himself became a tiny beacon for me, I wanted to make a request.

"Hey, Hikigaya-kun," I muttered.

"Yeah?" he said absentmindedly.

I turned to face Hikigaya. The involuntarily beating muscle inside my chest accelerated to speeds that I had never felt before, even faster than during those traumatizing times with Haruno. I let go of the bars, and, with both of my hands, grabbed onto Hikigaya's cuffs instead. Faced with something unexpected, his eyebrows rose slowly and he half-opened his mouth in astonishment. However, he did not retreat for a single inch. He stayed like that, waiting to hear what I had to say.

Time seemed to slow down, and all of the sounds around me seemed to be muffled. I felt an inexplicable feeling halfway between dread and euphoria. I did not know which agitation was greater: the fear of the near free-fall that was to come or the fear of uncertainty and leaving it all to another. I did not know which of these granted me more solace: the fact that I was gripping onto cuffs which would never let go of the bar for my sake or the fact that I knew that the person whom I was clinging onto would unhesitatingly carry everything on his back for my sake.

"Someday, help me, okay?" I whispered.

My voice came out clearly, as if the world had erased all other sounds at that moment.

Then, the world resumed. The car swiftly descended, going down and down. A floating sensation assaulted me. The howl of the wind filled my ears and cut through my head and torso, giving me no time to breathe. I shut my eyes so tightly that it felt like they would be stuck. I continued grasping onto Hikigaya's cuffs, never letting go of my safety.

Hikigaya used his other hand to firmly sandwich and secure mine, which were clutching at his cuffs. That was his answer.

---

Even after several minutes past the conclusion of the ride, my anxiety had yet to subside. I could only sit there, on the bench outside of the Spride Mountain gift store, with blank eyes, and an almost unhealthily rapid thumping in my chest. My spine was as stiff as a metal rod, and my legs vibrated uncontrollably. The adrenaline rush had not yet faded away.

Hikigaya had gone inside the shop to purchase some refreshments. While he was away, I, with my staggering body, somehow managed to wobble to the booth selling photos. Spride Mountain had a various cameras along the track that took pictures of the guests as they screamed and flailed. I handed over a large sum of money to the lady manning the booth. With a look of concern on her face, she passed me a long thin oblong pouch containing a series of photos with me and my partner on the ride. I graciously thanked her, but she told me to get some serious rest.

I wobbled back to the bench and sat down a little too forcefully on the metal frame. I winced in pain. While rubbing my underside, I took a look at the pictures. As I expected, my fearful expression and posture made me look like a child lost at the mall, especially as I clung onto Hikigaya. Hikigaya did not look too terribly afraid, though. Being good with this kind of thing made me a bit envious.

After several minutes, Hikigaya came to the bench with two drinks in hand. I hurriedly put the photos in my bag. It would be a little awkward if he saw me buy them without his permission.

"Here," said Hikigaya as he handed me the drink in his left hand.

I graciously received it and thanked him. It was a bottle of a dark fluid, presumably the popular soft drink. Around the bottle was a Pan-san sleeve. I broke into a smile, and lightly chuckled at his thoughtfulness. Turning the cap, a hiss was let out. I inserted the straw and greedily sucked, letting the carbonated drink trickle down my throat, tickling it in the process. My stress and disorientation faded away significantly. My body relaxed, and my legs stopped shaking.

I stared at the Pan-san sleeve-wrapped bottle in my hands. I would have been fine with just the drink, but adding on the sleeve must have pushed the total costs to about a thousand yen. It did not sit right with me for Hikigaya to spend so much for my sake. I reached into my bag and felt around for my wallet.

"How much was it?" I asked.

"No, it's fine. Don't worry about it. It would be awkward taking money from a sick person," he declared.

"I can't have that," I said while shaking my head.

"No, something like this is- well put it this way. The ambulance doesn't take money, right?" said Hikigaya with his index finger raised.

Another absurd comparison again?

"The firefighters get proper compensation for their duties, though," I retorted.

"The citizens are standing up for something good, so they would do it for free if necessary," stated Hikigaya, "I was just acting like that. It's for my self-satisfaction, so just take it."

"Hikigaya-kun, this is just sophistry," I groaned.

What a ridiculous banter. Yet, Hikigaya's thoughtfulness was as clear as day. A normal person would have used more choice words to handle that. Hikigaya, a person who strayed far from the normal, could only use his own absurd ways to convey his meaning. Though, he was no less sincere. Yes, it was just like all of those months ago, when we went shopping to buy Yuigahama a gift.

"Something like this happened before, right?" I muttered.

"Really?" said Hikigaya with a tilted head and a puzzled expression.

I thought back to that day. It should have been a significant event for the both of us, considering what happened at the end.

"Yes. Nee-san was there at the time, too," I recalled.

With an "ah", Hikigaya looked like he managed to remember his first meeting with my older sister that day. At that time, I thought that he would react just like any other person. Yet, the contents of their exchange went far beyond my expectations.

"I was really surprised because you suddenly pointed out accurate things about Nee-san," I said with a small snicker.

During that moment, I truly thought that Hikigaya was somehow different. It was the first time that I witnessed someone around my age could see through and stand up to Haruno. He did not fall for her petty lies. He did not delude himself with anything surface-deep. Even for Hayama and I, the ones who could be called close people to her, it was something unimaginable.

Hikigaya shrugged and commented, "It's just what I thought after my first impression. Besides, when she gets like that, she doesn't try to smooth it over or anything, even when she was being obvious about it.

"I suppose so," I agreed with a chuckle, "But I think that's her charm."

To be straightforward- no. To appear to be straightforward was something that anyone would find agreeable. Her convincingness and pompousness made her appear big and reliable to other people. That did not exclude me, nor did it exclude Hayama in the past.

"Even with that personality... no, because she had that personality, people loved her and doted on her. Many expectations were put on her," I said.

I quivered slightly before continuing, "And she had the ability to answer to those expectations."

Yukinoshita Haruno had the impression of being perfect. However, she also had the power to uphold that impression. No matter what was thrust her way, she could brush it off or even thrust it back. Compared to her, I was weak and powerless. I could never do what she did even after I followed after her footsteps, attempting to trace the path she left behind.

"I conducted myself like a doll behind her," I mumbled self-depreciatingly, "Because of that, I was told that I was obedient, good, and unproblematic. Yet, I knew. I knew that, behind my back, they were saying that I was unsociable, and I was lacking in Nee-san's charm underneath everything."

Yukinoshita Haruno had the impression of being perfect. Yukinoshita Yukino also had the impression of being perfect. However, the similarities ended there. Whereas Haruno had depth to that impression, Yukino was completely lacking underneath those appearances.

I tried my best to be a good girl. I tried my best to become my idol Haruno. But it wasn't enough. It was never enough. I would always be ruthlessly compared to her. Good things stood out, but insufficient things stood out even more. Faced with someone who had it, the one who had half of it was criticized and mocked.

"Is that so," murmured Hikigaya as he cradled the coffee in his hands.

He looked up at the black sky with a forlorn expression. Someone like him, who was both the oldest child of his family, and one who was never noticed by anyone, had never faced these kinds of problems before. He could not sympathize with me. Logically, that meant he could do nothing for me.

"I was told that too, that I was unsociable and charmless. Actually, I still get told that even now by Hiratsuka-sensei," he joked.

"Aren't you more along the lines of impudent, cheeky, or garbage?" I teased with a sadistic grin.

"Hey! Wait, wasn't that last one kinda different?" he exclaimed.

We laughed. The weightiness of the conversation dissipated, like a solid losing mass due to sublimation. With his nonsensical comments, he made everything seem ridiculous.

I gently smiled at Hikigaya. The way that Hikigaya was known to the select few who interacted with him was not at all wrong. Even though they had a poor opinion of him, he never put up a facade to improve his image. What they saw, and what he really was, were the same.

"Both you and Nee-san are consistent in your actions. I think that's why you're seen like that," I spoke softly, "But for me, being the way I was, I didn't know how to react to other people's words."

By chasing after the back of my older sister, I've denied myself. I became someone who I wasn't. I was never as energetic and outgoing as Haruno. Yet, I tried to take, for myself, her brilliantness and success. As a result, I became cold-hearted and unsociable. I lacked the qualities that Haruno had to balance out colder logic with warmer joy.

I looked up at the sky, as did Hikigaya. Lamps extended far above us. They gave off bright orange light that lit the way for the happy guests. The sea breeze blew past the lamps, flickering the lights as if they were waltzing.

Hayama, too, looked up to Haruno. He and I were tied together not only due to our families' businesses, but also due to the experiences we shared. Together, we chased after Haruno. Together, we lost sight of ourselves.

"In that sense, Hayama-kun and I were definitely the same," I said in an almost whispering voice, "It's because we've always, always been watching Nee-san."

I reached my hand into the sky. Above me, there appeared to be nothing. However, the moon definitely existed far away from here. With my tiny, insignificant arm, there was no way I would be able to touch it.

"Are you still thinking that you want to be like her?" questioned Hikigaya.

"I wonder," I muttered, "Right now, I don't think that. It's just that Nee-san has something that I don't."

Consistency, perfection and ability. Together, they made up something that Haruno had, which was difficult to describe. After all, that was the limit of human speech. To summarise a person was impossible. To precisely describe every part of a human being in a succinct paragraph was not within anyone's abilities.

I dropped my gaze from the unreachable skies back down to my hands, the things that I could touch.

"It's the same for you too," I said, almost in a whimper.

Somewhat different from Haruno, Hikigaya, too, possessed something. For the past weeks, for the past day, and for the past hour, I was still unable to pinpoint exactly what Hikigaya had.

"You have something that I don't," I mumbled.

That something allowed him to see clearly. If he used it, he would not be blinded by his own desires or by the facades of others. With it, he could see tyranny, corruption, selfishness and foolishness.

"We weren't similar at all it seems," I uttered with a tone of sadness.

"Well, yeah..." said Hikigaya with agreement lacking in delight.

For the past nights, I've kept thinking. I've thought about where I was mistaken. I've thought about what would happen had I been able to see like Hikigaya. I've thought about what to do, with both Hikigaya and Haruno in mind. What would they do? What could I have done if I was like them?

There was no answer. It was impossible for me to become like them. Every person was unique and had no equal. Yes, even I was unique. Even I should have had something that no one else had.

"That's why I thought I wanted something different," I proclaimed as strongly as I could.

I adjusted the collars of my coat to make myself more presentable. I properly faced Hikigaya. He raised his face and met his gaze with mine.

"I realized that there wasn't anything that I could do," I said in a voice a little louder than my usual volume, "If I had something that you and Nee-san didn't have, I thought I could save something."

I won't forget his expressions as he solved problems. For just a moment, as he claimed all of the suffering for himself, he looked broken, alone, and in pain. His capacity was far higher than anyone else's, but it was not limitless. Yet, he would not let anyone else shoulder it for him. He desperately wanted to remove the taint that pervaded even if it meant taking on that taint for himself, grinding himself further on the painful whetstone of life.

I wanted to make him stop taking it all in by himself. I wanted to save him from being crushed under the yoke of the world's resentment.

"Save what?" inquired Hikigaya.

"Who knows? What could it be, I wonder?" I teased with an impish smile.

Though, I couldn't let him know. He would definitely say that it was no big deal and ignore or even stop me. It was in his nature to do so. I will prevent him from doing that. I will prevent him from crushing himself with his own kindness.

Yes, underneath his ineloquence and devoidness of normal virtues, there was the kindness of Hikigaya that few saw.

Hikigaya took an unusually large gulp of his drink, tilting his head and the can back to get every last drop. That meant that he was finishing it up. I had already finished my drink long ago since I was more fatigued than he was.

I took off the Pan-san bottle case and put it in my bag. I planned to throw away the now sleeve-less bottle, but then I noticed that it was a Christmas edition bottle with all of the Destineyland characters on it, including Pan-san. I made sure to finish every last drop of soft drink inside, then sealed the bottle tightly and put it inside my bag as well. I stood up from the bench.

"I'm fine now, so we should get going," I told him.

"Yeah, we really should meet up with them now," agreed Hikigaya.

We left for the plaza. It was almost time for the fireworks. I looked forward to seeing the dazzling display with the ones whom I now confided in.

"Hey, Yukinoshita," called out Hikigaya as I began walking, "I don't really know how to say it, but you don't need to try and save anything if you're troubled right now. Because... you know..."

"I could say the same to you too," I chuckled.

---

Hikigaya and I had arrived in front of the White Wall Castle, where we would meet up with others to watch the fireworks. When we got there, Yuigahama spotted us and waved her hand to catch our attention.

"Hikki, Yukinon! Over here!" cried Yuigahama.

We came up to her. She then clapped her hand and bowed her head.

"Sorry for going on ahead and stuff!" she apologized.

"It's wasn't a problem," I assured her with a smile.

"That's a relief," said Yuigahama as she patted her bountiful chest.

"We couldn't make the others wait for us," I said while shrugging, "Anyway, did you take pictures of the parade for reference?"

"Ah, yeah! Check them out," excitedly said Yuigahama as she handed over a camera to me.

I switched to Display Mode on the camera. The icon on the top left showed the number 341. She sure had taken a lot of pictures today. I scrolled through the ones of the parade. Destineyland characters marched through the brightly-lit streets. The dog Neptune ran on all fours as kids excitedly laughed and pointed at him. Pan-san sat on top of a moving platform, munching on bamboo. I clicked my tongue. We should have watched the parade if Pan-san was going to be there.

"How are they, Yukinon?" asked Yuigahama with upturned eyes.

"I suppose they're alright," I replied, "Thank you for taking them."

"Ehe, that's good," she sang.

I finished checking over the pictures and handed back the camera to Yuigahama. Then, an announcement came from the loudspeaker, telling everyone that the fireworks were about to start. Most of the people wandering around Destineyland went to the side of the paths and stopped, ready to observe the fireworks.

I scouted out the plaza in search of Hayama and the others. I spotted Tobe pulling Miura to our direction with Ebina following behind him. However, I did not see Hayama and Isshiki.

"Come, come, Miura-san. This here's like the bestest spot, kinda? Ebina-san would prefer it here, yeah?" gibbered Tobe.

"Eh? Sure, but anywhere's fine, really?" said Ebina with a neutral smile.

Yuigahama also looked around. It seemed that could not find Hayama and Isshiki either.

"Tobecchi, where's Hayato-kun and Iroha-chan?" asked Yuigahama.

"Um, well, they'll be straight on over here soon," vaguely spoke Tobe, "Just wait a bit okay?"

I hope the two did not get lost. Trying to find them would be a huge bother and a giant waste of time.

Hikigaya did not ask where the two were. He had a rather firm expression on, despite the coming fireworks.

Three quarters of the street lamps turned off. Christmas lights around the plaza dimmed. Through the same loudspeaker that was used for the announcement, soothing classical music was played. As shameful as it was to admit it, I did not recognize this particular piece. However, I was sure that it was composed by Beethoven, given that its dominating emotional motifs, which was unusual among the pieces of its time. All of this was the signal for the start of the fireworks.

"It's starting," I warned the others.

I looked up at the sky around the White Wall Castle area, and the others followed suit. Within twenty seconds, the first firework was launched into the sky. With a crackling sound, it burst into a colourful red ring. A chorus of ohs and ahs arose from the people who watched. That was merely the warm-up. Immediately afterward, several more rings of different colours burst. The launching of new fireworks increased in number and speed, and soon, the night sky was illuminated with artificial colours. The creativity of the fireworks gradually increased too. The fireworks assumed patterns showing Sassy Marie-cat's face, Pan-san's body, and other Destinyland-related things. It was an amazing light show that held many people's attention. It was a magnificent way to see off our wonderful time at Destinyland.

A blitzkrieg of popping fireworks started with unmatched vivacity. The finale had been reached. The patterns were gone, and the sky was savagely filled with as many lights as possible. Yet, it was no less wondrous than the explosions before it. After two minutes, the firework show stopped for a brief period. Then, a final loud whish was heard. With an explosion that echoed across the whole park, the sky was lit up with the words Merry Christmas in English as the classical music ended with a majestic V-I cadence.

"Uwaaa, that sure was something," said Yuigahama in a trance.

"As expected of Destinyland, they did not skimp on the fireworks this year either," I praised while nodding.

As we voiced our impressions of the fireworks to each other, I noticed Isshiki walking toward us looking downwards. Her lips were squeezed shut, and her eyes were quivering. Suddenly, she broke into a sprint, heading straight past us.

"I-Irohasu!?" yelled Tobe, "Hold up, Irohasu!"

Isshiki disappeared into the crowd of people. Tobe ran after her with an usual look of distress on his face.

After seeing that, Miura wore a tired expression on her face, one that said "here we go again", while Ebina had a frown. The two then decided to go after Isshiki as well.

"M-Me too!" exclaimed Yuigahama, and she tried to run after Isshiki too.

"Yui? Oh, and Yukinoshita-san? You guys should wait here, okay? Since she might come back. If I find her, I'll call you, so let Tobe know," instructed Miura.

"Okay," affirmed Yuigahama.

With that, Miura nodded and walked away quickly in the same direction as Isshiki. For Isshiki to suddenly act like that, something terrible must have happened to her.

"Did something happen?" I asked the two that were still with me.

"No idea," replied Yuigahama.

"I don't know, but I think I have an idea," said Hikigaya, "Well, I'll get going too."

"Okay, got it," answered Yuigahama.

Hikigaya walked, with a smooth, steady pace, in the opposite direction that Isshiki ran off to. Perhaps he knew where Isshiki went and is taking an alternate, shorter path. Only Yuigahama and I were left.

"Yuigahama, do you know what's going on?" I inquired.

"No, not really," said Yuigahama, "Come to think of it, where is Hayato-kun?"

"Tobe-kun was being vague," I said, mulling it over, "You don't suppose the two were together, right?"

Unless they went to the washroom, none of us had a reason to wander off on our own. I doubt Isshiki would act like that due to some incident in the washroom. Thus, it is highly probable that they were together.

"Hmm, yeah, you have a point, Yukinon. Did something happen between them?" murmured Yuigahama with a tilted head.

I thought back to the events that lead up to this moment. Isshiki whispered something to Tobe that made him distressed. Tobe pulled Miura and Ebina away during the fireworks in response to what Isshiki said. Hayama Hayato and Isshiki Iroha were finally able to get some time alone. The perfect date with the perfect man. Destinyland.

This entire get-together, the plans that were put forward, and the conclusion with the two together were reminiscent of a certain night in the bamboo forest. It was a day that caused instability to arise between Yuigahama, Hikigaya and I. I have not considered it for all this time, but a rift had likely also arisen in Hayama's group.

Yuigahama looked at me with wide eyes, and as if she was unable to breathe. She cupped her mouth with her hands.

"Yukinon, that-"

"Yuigahama, that's probably it," I interrupted, "It seems the same thing happened again."

As if on cue, Hikigaya came back to us. His hands were in his pockets and he was staring at the ground, much like Isshiki was, but much more like that night in the bamboo forest.

"Hikki, where's Iroha-chan? I thought you went to get her," spoke Yuigahama.

"Ah, no, there's already enough people looking for her," mumbled Hikigaya without looking up, "I went to Hayama."

I got straight to the point and asked, "What happened? What did he say to her?"

"Ah, well, that guy went on home after I talked to him. Must have been repulsed to meet with someone like me after he turned down a confession," he joked with a coarse voice.

"Hikigaya-kun."

"Hikki..."

We stood in silence. The chilly winds were starting to become a forceful gale. The street lamps drew long shadows of ourselves. Around us, laughter and merry conversations continued to occur, regardless.

Before long, Miura and Ebina came back, neither of them pleased. Behind them was Tobe with an arm around Isshiki, whose face was incredibly red, and her makeup ruined. She was sniffling loud enough for us all to hear. When we regrouped, we didn't say anything for a while.

To break the silence, Miura raised her voice, "Hey, Yui, where's Hayato?"

"Home," answered Hikigaya instead, "Didn't you get a mail from him?"

Miura crossed her arms and looked away before spitting out, "Of course I did."

"I see," said Hikigaya.

"Of course he did," added Hikigaya under his breath, and he said no more.

There was not much purpose to stand around here. We should get going and soothe our tired selves, especially for Isshiki.

"That concludes our trip. Good work everyone, we managed to get a lot of material," I said, formally ending it all.

---

The train we were in rattled occasionally, but thanks to modern advancement, every little bump was hardly noticeable. Most of the ride was as smooth as silk.

The time was quite late. It was fast approaching 11 o'clock. Because of that, the train had little people riding it, other than myself, Yuigahama, Hikigaya and Isshiki. Even if there were more people, I doubt the noise would be very loud. At this time of day, when people are returning from work or play, people were extremely fatigued and had no incentive to chat loudly. Of course, the four of us had little incentive to chat as well, given what happened.

After twenty minutes, the train arrived at the Kaihin-Makuhari Station. This was my stop, so I stood up.

"I'll be getting off here," I informed the others.

As I was walking to the door, Yuigahama also quickly stood up and followed me. She tumbled a bit due to moving too fast, but I caught her arm before she hit the ground.

"Ah, I'm getting off here too," said Yuigahama.

"Aren't you a bit further ahead?" I reminded her.

She released my grip on her arm and placed both of her hands on my arm instead.

"Tomorrow's a day off, so I'm going to stay at Yukinon's place!" declared Yuigahama.

We never agreed to that earlier. However, it was no big deal for me for her to accompany me.

"Ah, that so," I consented.

This wasn't my only stop, though. I looked at Hikigaya, expecting him to stand up.

"Isshiki, which station are you getting off at?" inquered Hikigaya.

Isshiki did not reply to that question. As expected, the thought of the failed confession still weighed down on her. Her usually vibrant personality was gone, leaving behind an empty husk. She pulled on Hikigaya's sleeve and handed her bag to him.

"Senpai, it's super heavy," she uttered falteringly.

"It's because you bought too much," lightly scolded Hikigaya as he took the bag.

Watching that scene, Yuigahama smiled like a dear mother, just like when we went to Hiratsuka-sensei's office. I couldn't help but break into a giggle.

"Uh huh," said Yuigahama, nodding with understanding, "I think that would be better."

"Isshiki-san, make sure to be very careful," I jokingly warned.

We should let those two alone. It was now up to the local Onii-chan to handle things from here. Wait, it was Senpai.

When the train stopped at the station, Yuigahama and I stepped out after waving goodbye to Hikigaya and Isshiki.

The train closed its doors shut. Within seconds, it was whisked away. Yuigahama and I stared at the train until it became a dot.

Surely, on that train, at this very moment, the one who was rejected was being comforted by the one who was always trampled on.