Honey DippED, Part Ten
The squad car pulled up outside Lester's Fish Cannery, where Marie said her mother was most likely working. The heavy-set officer led Marie to the Foreman's office looking for her mother.
After several minutes, the Foreman returned with Candace. At first, she pretended to show gratitude to the officer for looking after Marie, but her demeanor quickly shifted when confronted with a court summons. "Marie Luanne," she growled. "We oughta' put ya' on the deboning line. That'll make her go to class, huh Frank?"
"Sorry, Candy," Frank the Foreman shook his head. "Can't do it with labor laws. Plus, she's not union."
_
Edd spent much of the afternoon fretting between what Eddy agreed to and Nazz and Marie's absence. He wanted to reach out to Marie and Nazz, but not within the context Kevin and Eddy envisioned. He figured yesterday's shocking discovery was the reason behind only two Kankers being at school. And what of poor Nazz? News of the couple shot through the student population faster than a flu virus. There was even talk of Nazz being off the cheerleading squad.
"She must feel so alone," Edd murmured absently.
"Who? Sarah? Jimmy's right there."
"No, Eddy. I was thinking of someone else."
"Psyching yourself up for Marie, huh?" Eddy nudged him.
"Ehm, no," Edd edged back a bit. "I think you're on your own for this one."
"Whaaat!?" Eddy made a swipe for Edd's collar, but missed him by an inch. "Whaddya' mean 'on my own?' We're in this together, Sockhead! Just like every other scheme!"
"Can't you see Kevin's clouded your judgment? He's sending us into the lion's den! There won't be any jawbreakers! There are never any jawbreakers. It's all a trick!"
"Don't you think I know that?" Eddy sneered. "All we have to do is twist things in our favor. Sap it up with the girls until they're putty in our fingers. Then we get them to get the jawbreakers for us. Easy as pie."
"Oh, and there won't be any consequences when the Kankers figure out they've been used!"
"All we have to do is put them back on Kevin. As long I get a garage full of jawbreakers, it's a happy ending no matter what."
"You are unbelievable, Eddy."
"Experimental flavors, Double-D," Eddy sang. "You know you want in."
Edd crossed his arms. "I'd sooner streak the Peach Creek Spelling Bee."
"Ha!" Eddy threw an arm around Ed. "They'll be expecting it after your last performance."
"GUH!" Edd's face turned bright red. He tried to sputter a comeback and wound up walking away to a chorus of Ed and Eddy's laughter.
_
"If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. I don't care what you do, just be smart about it." Candy already lit her third cigarette for the drive back to Park n' Flush.
"If you're going to call out sick, call from the right damn number! Didn't I teach you anything?"
"I didn't think they'd check."
"Of course they're gonna' check! It's YOU! Now I have a court date on the 21st. You KNOW I don't have time for this crap!"
Candy stopped her truck abruptly in front of the trailer. "Be home when I get back!"
Marie jumped out and barely had the truck door shut before Candace started backing up.
Marie thought about Nazz as she watched her mother speed off.
_
Eddward didn't wait for Eddy or Ed to finish detention before walking home. He had someone else on his mind. Edd had no idea what made him so bold, but he lacked his usual hesitation when approaching Nazz's door. A second later, his finger pushed the doorbell. He hummed a little tune while waiting, but after several minutes it was clear no one was coming to the door. "Dearest Nazz. There's no reason to hide from me. I've come to express my support." Edd rang the bell again.
"She isn't home."
Edd jumped. "Jimmy! Sarah! How long have you been there?"
"We walked up after you did. How come you're here?"
"I-I have our homework assignments from school," Edd fumbled. "I figured she'd want to be caught-up."
"What makes you think she's going back?" Jimmy crossed his arms and looked smug. "She's off the cheerleading squad. Everyone knows about her and Marie. She's socially finished at Peach Creek."
"Just for kissing a girl? That's ridiculous!"
"Save it for the Gay-Straight Alliance," Sarah snipped. "Oh, wait. Peach Creek doesn't have one! I guess she's out of luck!"
"Jimmy, how can you act like this? Aren't you gay as well?"
"Excuse me? That word's getting hurled about rather freely, don't you think? I've waited years for this opportunity. I'm finally Captain of the Cobbler's Squad! With Nazz out of the picture, Sarah and I are finally moving up in the world."
Edd shook his head. "Nazz has shown you two nothing but kindness and this is how you repay her? I am appalled!"
"It's a dog-eat-dog world, Double-D," Jimmy snapped his fingers. "Or in this case, bitches!"
"My word!" Edd staggered backward in shock as Jimmy and Sarah strolled away laughing.
"Backstabbed by her own teammates. I can't believe it." Edd fished into his book bag for a pen and paper. "Nazz needs support more than I realized." He kneeled in front of a milk crate and jotted a quick note before folding it and hooking it under her door knocker.
_
"Where the Hell were you?!" Edd barely had his door open before Eddy launched into a verbal assault. "Ed thought you were abducted by aliens. It took me a freakin' hour to get him off of it!"
"I'm sorry, Eddy. I had things I needed to take care of. I can't wait for you to get out of detention every day."
"Yeah, right. Since when do you have a life?"
"Eddy, if you're going to stand there and insult me, I need to go. It's almost dinnertime."
"Oh, no you don't! You're not slipping out of THIS. You are going to help us get those jawbreakers."
"Eddy, there are far bigger issues going on in this Cul-de-sac than Kevin's jawbreakers. Haven't you heard what happened to Nazz?"
"Yeah, we all saw it. So what?"
"So?! She's off the cheerleading squad! Jimmy's the new captain!"
"Goody. Maybe he'll break a nail."
"Eddy, don't you see what's happening? All of Nazz's friends are turning against her. Pretty soon, she'll be as popular as… We are."
"What's that supposed to mean? We're popular! Now, if she slips all the way down to Jonny 2x4, I'd worry. Besides, she still has Marie to cuddle."
"Even though Kevin wants us to turn Marie against her? Eddy, wake up! Nazz is in the midst of a real crisis!"
"Whatever," Eddy waved him off. "Come find me when you're done talkin' nonsense."
Edd sighed and rolled his eyes in exasperation as he closed the door.
"REMEMBER SOCKHEAD," The door vibrated with Eddy's voice. "WE ONLY HAVE 'TILL SATURDAY!"
_
In a show of rare obedience, Marie stayed at home and got ahead on laundry and fixing dinner. She was in the midst of mopping floors when her sisters came home. "Lemony fresh," Lee sniffed. "Wait. Whose in our trailer?"
"It's me, stupid," Marie growled.
"Wow. This place hasn't smelled this nice since Double-D was doing that reverse-cicle-ology thing. What's the occasion?"
"I'm bored. Mom said to stick around 'till she got home."
"Sounds like somebody's busted."
"Yeah… Truant ticket."
"Pbthththt-ha-ha-ha! You!? I thought you wrote the book on ditchin' class."
"Yeah, well… Cops musta' read it."
"Poor kid. Ya' missed a fun day at school."
"Like I care."
"Ya' oughta care. Your main squeeze ain't Homecoming Queen."
"What?"
"She's been kicked outta' cheerleading and the Student Association," May dribbled. "She's probably not even gym assistant, either."
"Someone even wrote 'LEZBO' all over her locker," Lee added.
Marie crossed her arms and scowled. "Was it you?"
"Nope. Someone got there before we did."
"You'd better not have," Marie snarled.
"Or what?" Lee smirked.
"You're forgetting I also wrote the book on revenge." Marie set the mop down and perched herself on the kitchen counter. "Speaking of which…" She lifted a pair of nearby scissors and snipped them in front her sisters. "Go check your underwear drawer."
Within moments an anguished scream emanated from the bedroom. "MARIE!"
_
"YUCKY! EVIL! MUSHY GIRLS!" Ed flew into a panic as Edd tried to calm him down.
"Ed please, I'm sure you misunderstood!"
"MAY NO GOOD FOR ED! NO MORE POOKY BEAR! NO MORE KISSING!"
Eddy shot Ed and Edd a disgusted look before fishing into his pants. He extracted a small frying pan inscribed with words, "In case of Ed-mergency." He brought the flat of the pan against Ed's head with a loud clang. Ed fell into a heap on Eddy's shag carpeting.
"DEAR ED!" Edd fished in his book bag for some smelling salts. "EDDY! How could you?!"
"What? It got him stopped, didn't it?"
"Don't you think that was a little hard on our friend?"
"Oh c'mon! His head's like 300% bone! I doubt he even felt that!"
Edd fished the smelling salts from his school bag and wafted them under Ed's nose. "Eddy, I really think we need to have a talk about how you treat your friends."
"Suck it up, Sockhead. Just because you want to be Mr. Sensitive all the time doesn't mean the rest of us have to."
Edd saw the smelling salts had no affect on Ed. "You've really done it this time, Eddy. I can't rouse him."
"Of course not. This is ED you're dealing with."
Eddy grabbed a coat hanger from his closet and bent it into a long hook. He then used it to pull one of Ed's shoes off and hook a sock. Rank odor quickly overwhelmed the room.
"Oh my! Stinky! Stinky! Stinky!" Edd grabbed his nose and darted away from the visibly steaming sock.
Without ceremony, Eddy plopped the sock across Ed's face.
"Okay," Edd frowned over his knuckles. "How often have you done this?"
"First time. Honest." Eddy chuckled. "What?"
"Mmm! What's cookin' guys?" Ed sleepily lolled his head about and took a deep whiff of his musty sock. "Can I lick the spoon?"
"There. See? Good as new." Eddy rehooked Ed's sock with the coat hangar and flipped it outside. Ed tried to follow it, but crashed into Eddy's door just as he slammed it shut. "Can we get back to the subject, now?"
"EDDY!" Edd snarled uncharacteristically.
"Oh, for the love of...! GET OVER IT!"
"Eddy, I can no longer stand by and watch you habitually abuse our friend."
"What? You mean that?"
Edd crossed his arms and glared at Eddy.
"Oh, poor baby." Eddy rolled his eyes and threw his voice into his best mommy-falsetto. "Come here Lumpy. Let me kiss your boo-boo all better."
"Gross!" Ed backed away from Eddy.
"See? Even he isn't goin' for that sissy stuff! Can we give it a rest now?! I swear you act more like Jimmy every day."
"I DO NOT!" Edd slung his book bag over his shoulder and angrily collected his things.
"What's with the menstrual cycle, Double-D? You've been fifteen degrees of crazy since yesterday!"
"Oh, is that what you think I am," Edd hissed. "You think I'm crazy?"
Ed looked apprehensive of Edd's new demeanor. Edd brandished his finger at Eddy like a rapier. Ed cowered.
"Let me tell you something! I've turned a blind eye to your behavioral flaws long enough! The manner in which you take advantage of people is positively odious, Eddy! You used to be fun. You used to value your friends' input! Say nothing of our feelings! You even state over and over that Nazz is your girl. Yet, when she's in crisis, you could care less! You don't care about anyone! Until you can prove you have at least ONE redeemable quality, I refuse to be party to anything having to do with you! As of right now, you and I are ON HIATUS!"
"Fine! Ed and I will get those jawbreakers without you! We're also eating them without you, too!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"FINE!"
"FINE!"
"Get outta' my room!"
Edd pulled Eddy's door open and stepped through it before turning around. "I'm also seeing Principal Antonucci in the morning. You'll have to find another tutor."
"Whatever." Eddy shut the door in Edd's face.
"Hmph!" Edd stalked toward the street. He then paused. Not so much to gaze back at Eddy's door, but to peer toward Nazz's home. The upstairs lights were on. He wondered if she was okay.
_
Nazz hadn't been grounded in years. Now she faced a two week grounding, plus the daunting task of cleaning out the garage. The only family in the cul-de-sac who packed their garage with more stuff was Ed's family.
Nazz took a break from vacuuming the stairs to look out the window. She wondered how Marie was doing. She knew her sisters could be harsh, but what of her mother? How would she respond? She also wondered how her friends reacted to the news of her and Marie. She waved at Sarah and Jimmy from the window, but neither of them acknowledged her. At the other end of the street, she saw Edd looking toward her house. He didn't turn his back to her.
_
Marie waited several hours to learn her punishment. It was almost bedtime and her mother was taking forever to get home. "What a gyp," she thought. "I coulda' been out doin' stuff all this time."
When headlights finally lit the trailer window, they came from a rusted out 1972 Plymouth Duster with mismatched doors and bald tires. Marie watched Frank pull her very drunk mother from the car and carry her to the trailer door. Candace giggled and lost a shoe. She acted as if she was crossing a honeymoon threshold. She placed several sloppy kisses on Frank's face and neck before he got the door open. It was obvious she'd forgotten all about her summons. "Greeeeeeat," Marie sneered.
Frank stumbled into the trailer and dumped Candace on the sofa before toppling on top of her. The two proceeded to make-out without any notice of Marie standing just feet away.
Any incentive Marie had for staying clearly evaporated. Disgusted, she slid her arms into her jacket and slipped into the cold night to strains of Frank and Candy's intoxicated grunting and grappling.
_
Marie was relieved to find Nazz's bedroom light was on. No amount of pinecones would bring her to the window, however. "She must really be in trouble," Marie whispered to herself. She felt bad for her lover. She would've given anything to merely lie within the sumptuous warmth of Nazz's embrace.
Marie could feel the cold seeping through her jacket. She couldn't go home. Her mother's drunken liaisons tended to be pervs as well. She didn't want to deal with some hairy smelly slob wanting a second round in the middle of the night; especially without her sisters to help fight him off.
"Brr." Shivers ran through Marie's body as she tried to figure out what to do. She didn't know where else to go. She trudged back toward the street. On her way, she noticed a folded piece of paper lying in Nazz's yard. She unfolded it. In neat cursive, it read:
"Dear Nazz,
Please know that you're not alone. I'm here if you need to talk.
-Eddward"
Marie refolded the note and slid it into her jacket pocket. At least someone was accepting. She looked down the street toward his house and saw his light was still lit. She then palmed a few remaining pinecones from Nazz's yard before walking toward Edd's driveway.
_
Edd reclined against his headboard and gazed at a small collection of photos from the Eds' past exploits. He'd even saved a copy of the hideous school photo that Kevin ruined. Poor Eddy. No amount of crayon drawings or cajoling could get him the key to his brother's room. Edd wished there was another way to get through to his callous friend.
Something struck his window frame. It happened again after a few moments.
Edd was irritated at first. Eddy knows not to throw things at the house. Still, part of him was relieved. Eddy finally came to his senses. Maybe this time, he'll listen.
Instead of going to his window, Edd decided it was better to meet Eddy at the screen door. They could talk quietly without disturbing his parents. Edd pulled a bathrobe over his pajamas and slipped silently downstairs to beckon Eddy to the side of the house. His heart sang with the prospect of reconciling with his friend; perhaps more than it should've.
"Eddy?" Edd called out hopefully. "Eddy?"
"Nope," a familiar girl's voice responded. "It's me."
"Marie?!" Edd staggered back, aghast. "W-what are you doing here?"
"I've got nowhere to go. I was hoping for some help."
"Gracious," Edd still trembled. He wasn't sure if the cold made him shiver or if it was his proximity to a Kanker. She looked unsure and vulnerable in the cold.
"Can I at least come in for a minute? It's so cold out here."
"Aaah, well, I don't know. Mother wouldn't approve."
"I promise I won't do anything. Please? I'm freezing!"
Edd closed his eyes and sighed. It was a stupid risk, but he couldn't turn her away. "Come with me. You can warm up in the kitchen."
Marie followed Edd to the screen door and stepped into the house. "We have to keep it down," Edd warned. "My parents are still sleeping."
"Got it." Marie shucked her coat and mittens as Edd pulled a chair out for her.
"Um, would you like some tea or anything? My mother has some wonderful herbals. I find the pomegranate rooibos particularly delightful."
Marie sniffled and looked at Edd, suddenly exhausted. "I'm not much of a tea person, thanks. It's fine if you wanna' fix some for yourself."
"Are you sure?"
"The bathroom is really all I need."
"Oh! Absolutely." Edd motioned her to a bathroom near the kitchen. Marie grinned gratefully. "Thanks."
Edd felt creepy standing by the door waiting for Marie to finish, so he crept back to the kitchen. He decided he wanted some tea, anyway. Surely if he brewed some, she would partake. Edd so busied himself with heating water and brewing he failed to notice Marie left the bathroom and wandered into the den. She yawned and stretched out on the sofa; letting the combo of plush cushions and aroma from Edd's tea steep to work their magic. It took only moments to drift off to sleep.
Edd poured two mugs of his favorite tea and brought them to the table. "Marie?" He looked around. "Marie?" The bathroom was empty. Surely she hadn't left. Edd continued looking for her and calling quietly. Rhythmic breathing reached his ears when he came into the den.
Edd tried to wake her but his efforts were for naught. She was completely out. "Oh dear," he fretted. "Mother will not approve."
Edd stood and watched Marie's sleeping form for a while. He then removed a throw from a nearby chair and laid it over her. He'd explain things tomorrow. For now, his bed beckoned. He returned to his room and locked his door just in case.
_
End of Part Ten.