I am so humbled and grateful for the reviews of the previous chapter. You've made my day and made me smile from ear to ear when I read them. You are way too kind.

P3pp3r: I've never been a fan of OCs myself, which is amazing considering this story is mainly Alex's relationship with one. I don't even know how it happened, but I fell in love with the idea and I can only hope I can meet everyone's expectations and to continue to make you enjoy this story. Thank you so much for your review and I'm dying to know what you think of this new chapter. By the way, I also love bonding moments between Alex and Ben, and there are bound to be a few good ones as the chapters go by and Alex continues to struggle.

GotTimeForThat: your review blew me away. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it. I agree with you: Alex has a lot on his plate right now. So far Vict doesn't really know anything about his past. He doesn't even know that Alex's family isn't his blood family. It'll be interesting when the moment comes for him to find out more about it and to see how Alex dances around the truth… any suggestions? I was also really worried about the pacing of the story. I didn't want it to be too slow and risk everyone getting bored, or having it be too fast and then loosing credibility. I'm not sure I've done a great job, but I'm doing my best. And last, but not least, I'm dying for the moment Ben finds out about Alex and Vict. I'm not sure yet how it'll go, but I'm betting more for Ben to find out than for Alex to tell him first. How will he find out? I don't know yet! I guess we'll see!

Mae: Thanks for always taking the time to comment. I'm glad you liked the chapter and I can only hope you like this chapter too. I'd love to read your thoughts about it!

Charlotte: you are amazing! Definitely awesome! Thanks for being a constant supporter of my stories. I hope to meet your expectations with this chapter. Enjoy!

So, this chapter doesn't contain warnings but I'll be keep the rating of this fic an M because of future chapters as well as the previous one. I think we can all guess where this story is going, so be warned from now on. That is if Alex manages to resolve his…issues.

I hope you all like this chapter as much as I liked writing it!

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Chapter 10: A big problem

Alex shivered again and put on his jacket, hands inside the pockets as he started walking back home.

It was earlier than he had expected to arrive back to the apartment and Ben didn't miss the chance to ask about it.

Feeling awful about lying, but finding no other alternative, Alex told him that most of the team had cancelled at the last minute and just a few of them weren't gonna go out and eat by themselves. The team getting together was the excuse he'd used for his night out.

"Let's go out to dinner then!" Ben exclaimed, to which Alex made a face. A night out with Ben wasn't exactly what he had hoped for tonight, but his stomach chose that particular moment to act up and remind him he hadn't eaten anything since lunch and he was starving.

"Yeah, okay" he agreed with a heavy sigh.

They ended up calling Ben's parents to join them and the evening turned into a family event, for which Alex was grateful since it helped keep his mind off Vict and their failed date. Besides, any chance he got to spend time with the family was a moment he would treasure forever. Having regular and sometimes big family get togethers wasn't something he'd been used to before, and even though at first he'd felt like an intruder – because in his mind, he was – he'd grown to feel more comfortable about it, to feel like he belonged.

So the night didn't end like a complete failure, but the closer they got home, after dropping Ben's parents at their place, the more he thought about the other boy and the fact he'd been radio silent all night. He knew, because he hadn't stop checking his phone every five minutes. Evelyn had somewhat chastised him with an ironic comment about young people wasting away their lives on a screen, not that it made much to stop him from doing it and then the jokes about being hung up on a girl started, making him wince every time he thought about them finding out Vict was very much NOT a girl.

Should he text him? Should he call? Alex wasn't sure wat the right move was and he wasn't about to ask Ben for advise on that. So he went to his room and changed, admittedly throwing his clothes in a corner with a bit too much strength behind it. After all he'd struggled to find something to wear… jeez, what a night!

He dropped on the bed, bouncing a few times and letting out a deep breath. He grabbed his phone.

*You awake?*

It was almost midnight, so maybe Vict wouldn't even see the message until morning, a theory that grew stronger with every minute that went by without an answer. Then his phone started to buzz repeatedly and he jumped in surprise. An incoming call. Alex checked the screen but there really was no need, nobody else besides Tom called him and he doubted his longtime friend would be calling at this hour.

His heart began to beat faster and he closed his eyes briefly to repeat what he'd been chanting in his head all night to keep his emotions from spiraling out of control. I'm fine. I'm fine. I have two arms and I have two legs. I can talk, I can walk. I'm fine'

He hit the answer button before the call was missed.

"I don't want to sound obnoxious, but you owe me dinner" was the first thing that left Alex's mouth once the call went through. He was aware of how childish the comment sounded, but he couldn't quite let go of the fact that he'd been looking forward to sharing a free day of work together. He heard a sigh on the other side of the line.

"I know" Vict's voice sounded off. Low, rough... Subdued? Alex would even venture.

"What was that all about?" he asked, the sting of his impromptu kicking out of the house still present and very much painful.

"My uncle doesn't like visitors. I told you. Are you okay?" he added. Alex didn't even register the question.

"Why? What does he have against them?" Vict's voice adopted an annoyed tint.

"He's a truck driver. Spends a lot of days out, driving all day and night. When he gets home he just wants some peace and quiet" Alex hummed in response "so how are you?"

"We could've just gone out. Stick to our original plan" Alex said, his cheeks blushing when he thought about the reason their original plans had changed in the first place. There was a moment of silence before Vict's voice came through the line again, this time with a hard edge to it.

"Why aren't you answering my questions?"

"What questions? We're talking about tonight" Alex answered, readjusting his position on the bed to rest his back against the headrest.

"Exactly" came the short reply and then a heavy silence again.

"Are we even gonna reschedule?" he deflected the subject again.

"Do you want to reschedule?" Vict asked, a drip of sarcasm entering his tone. Alex frowned.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you didn't really seem comfortable with me tonight" Alex was taken aback by the sheer resentfulness of the comment. He thought they'd already discussed what'd happened to him at his house.

"What's with you?" he asked, confused and surprised by the turn the conversation had taken with what felt like a verbal attack.

"I asked you a question and again you're not answering" a spark of anger lit up inside him.

"If I didn't want to reschedule, I wouldn't have asked you in the first place!" Alex sighed trying not to let his anger get the better of him.

Through the next stretch of silence, he heard a sniff coming from the other side. He froze. Eyebrows closed together in confusion, he sat up away from the wall and crossed his legs indian style. For a while, Alex didn't know what to say. The roughness he'd noticed in Vict's voice at the beginning of the conversation may have been the result of fighting back tears. Or had he been crying already? Now this was something he'd never had to deal with before: comforting someone else. Ben never really got emotional with him and the few times he had, Alex had been more of a mess than him to be able to help at all. What he was very familiar with was trying to hide when he was hurting from the rest of the world, usually behind anger or physical exercise. Maybe Vict was doing the same, since Alex couldn't recall ever hearing him so pissed before.

"Vict...?"

"Hmm" the other boy answered almost as if talking was an effort.

"Are you okay?"

"Do you want to reschedule or not?"

"You see? I'm not the only one not answering questions" Alex accused, trying to lighten the heavy mood of the conversation.

"So you admit you're doing it then?" not exactly the response he'd been hoping for.

"I just don't want to talk about it. We already did anyway"

"Yeah well, I don't want to talk about it either" the other boy countered, clearly making reference to the way he'd made Alex leave the house.

"Then maybe we shouldn't keep talking right now" Alex stated, regretting it instantly because he knew he didn't want to end the conversation at odds with the other boy.

This time the silence was accompanied by the raging fear that he had screwed up, again, and that Vict would take him up for his word, hang up the phone, and not talk to him again. But he also couldn't deny that he was slightly hurt and his pride wasn't letting him be the one to break the silence. As it turned out, he didn't have to.

"Guess what" came Vict's voice from the other end of the line, still low and still rough, maybe even rougher than before, but the anger under his tone had transformed into something resembling defeat. Alex sighed and prepared himself for the worst, for Vict to tell him they were done.

"What?" he closed his eyes to wait for the blow.

"We just had out first argument as a couple" Alex frowned and then snorted, feeling a smile breaking through his serious demeanor and then losing the battle to let out a laugh. He laughed so hard it became infectious and soon he heard Vict laughing as well.

"Oh, so we're a couple now?" he asked, recognizing Vict's comment as his usual way of defusing tension.

"I mean, we hang out, we kiss... A lot. Yeah, I'd say we're a couple" Alex thought about it for a while, the silence that hung between them now was less charged and hostile than all the previous ones.

"It's weird" he stated, his thoughts drifting easily into the conversation.

"What is?" Vict asked, and the blond could hear the effort behind the still tired sounding words.

"I never thought I'd have this"

"What? Long dramatic conversations over the phone?" Alex smiled again. This was the Victor he liked to talk to. That didn't mean he couldn't understand that everyone felt bad or had an off day every once in a while. If someone should know, it was him.

"Yeah, that too"

"You better get used to it" Vict added.

"That means we're gonna be fighting a lot?" Alex joked, sliding down on the bed to lay down and stare at the ceiling.

"Maybe once or twice a week" the other boy answered and Alex could practically hear the shrug of his shoulders in his voice.

"A week!?" he exclaimed, alarmed. If he didn't know any better, he'd actually be worried.

"Oh yeah baby. This is only the beginning" and Alex was pretty sure he was quoting a movie right there. Either way, the choice of words made him smile stupidly and he was glad there was no one around to witness him acting like a blushing 15-year-old talking to his crush, which is exactly what he felt like at the moment.

"What did I get myself into?" he grumbled into the phone.

"Only the strangest adventure of your life" Alex snorted, thinking about some of the missions he'd been on that definitely fell into the 'strange' category.

"Prob'ly not" he said around a yawn he'd been fighting for a while.

"You're falling asleep already?" Vict asked around a laugh to which Alex just rolled his eyes. He was getting sleepy "will you go running tomorrow at your usual ungodly hour?"

"I should, but I don't know" he replied, thinking that maybe taking advantage of a free Sunday and sleeping in wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"Alex Daniels missing a run! Somebody call an ambulance, I think he's getting ill" for being a joke, the words lacked their usual amount of teasing, but it was close enough.

"Ha ha. Very funny. Wanna come with?" the blond offered.

"See, I'd love to. I really do, getting up at 5am on a Sunday, being drenched in sweat before sunrise... I think I'll pass though" there was no surprise there.

"You could have mentioned spending time with me" and Alex just half meant it as a joke.

"Which is the only reason why I 'would' love to do it" Alex chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"Idiot" he grumbled.

"What was that?"

"What?" Alex just feigned ignorance.

"I thought I heard you say something" Vict teased.

"Not me, no" Alex replied, changing his phone from one ear to another. It was starting to hurt and he was sure if he looked in the mirror, his ear would be bright red.

"Huh... You sure? Because I think it was something along the lines of 'awesome'" Alex let out another laugh.

"Yeah, definitely not that"

"I beg to differ"

"Maybe you should beg to go to sleep, you're hallucinating from lack of it" Alex pulled the phone away from his head to glance at the time. They'd been talking for a while now.

"Is this your way of telling to hang up?" Vict's voice sounded far and small from the distance, making Alex bring the phone to his ear once more.

"It is rather late and some people might actually have to wake up early"

"By choice, not necessity" the other boy smartly argued.

"Still"

"You're no fun"

"I thought we stablished that long ago"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever" but there was something about his voice again. An edge to it that made Alex think back to the beginning of the call. What was going on with Vict?

"All jokes aside, are you okay?" he asked, maybe he was distracted enough to answer this time.

"Fine" or maybe not. Alex wasn't sure he should keep insisting but then Vict blurted out a few more words "Do you think you could...? Never mind"

"What?" he asked around a frown.

"It's stupid, never mind. See you at work?"

"Vict..." he insisted.

"Just... Could you... Could you just stay on the phone? For a while? We don't even have to talk, just... Just stay on the phone" and he was finally able to put a name to the edge under Victs's voice: desperation. He wasn't going to say no to that.

"Okay, sure"

He settled in, pulling the covers over himself and adjusting his head on the pillow. He rested his phone on his chest and his hands behind his head. He put the phone on speaker. The silence that followed wasn't heavy or uncomfortable, and it was only broken by the faint sound of breathing on the other side. Alex thought it was oddly reassuring to know you weren't exactly alone even when the room he was in was empty. Maybe that's what Vict had been after with the request, to not feel alone.

Alex began thinking about the events of the afternoon and he surprised himself with how well he was taking everything. Considering the fact that he'd slightly panicked at the other boy's house, then being kicked out of it to having their first 'argument as a couple', he thought he was handling things pretty well. At least he felt somewhat at peace now, listening to the other side of the line and knowing that even if they weren't talking, they were there.

Alex reached out to the light switch at the side of his bed, plunging the room in darkness, only a slit of light coming in from the window. Alex didn't like to sleep with the shutters opened.

Through the phone he heard Vict moving, the creaking sound of someone changing position on a bed reaching him. Alex rolled to his side, the phone resting now beside his head on the pillow. He was drowsy, and the longer they went without talking the bigger the risk of falling asleep. When he figured he wouldn't mind falling asleep with the line opened between them, he closed his eyes, but there was something he still needed to ask, or he wouldn't be able to rest.

"Vict" he called softly. He had to wait a few seconds to get a reply, one that was muffled.

"Hmm"

"Are we okay?" the sound he heard from the other side of the line this time was unmistakable. Vict was crying.

"Why wouldn't we be?" to his credit, he was making a monumental effort to hide the waver in his voice.

"Because of tonight" and Alex didn't just mean they way their date had ended, but the way it had started as well, with him panicking over the first time they got intimate.

"I think it was an important step in our relationship" even half asleep, Alex smiled softly.

"Seriously though" he insisted.

"What do you think?" the other boy asked, his voice a bit more composed.

"I think we're fine" Alex said honestly, hoping it was right.

"I think we're fine too"

"Okay" Alex heaved a sigh and snuggled further into the pillow.

"Okay" Vict repeated and they fell silent again.

It didn't take long for Alex to fall asleep, the minutes passing by on the screen of his phone with the still opened call.

If only he could've slept soundly through the night.

But for all the effort he'd put into not caving to his raging emotions all day, his mind decided to panic in his sleep, making him revive certain nightmares he hadn't been able to shake during his time in Newcastle and forcing him to wake up with a start, gasping and covered in sweat from head to toe. He sat up in bed and pulled his knees to his chest, the phantom of hands all over his body making him shudder and hide his head between his knees to try and control his breathing.

He glanced to the side and noticed his phone was still on. The phone call read almost four hours, and counting, and Alex gripped it tightly. He whispered Vict's name a few times. When he was certain the other boy was asleep, he ended the call. His battery was almost dead anyway.

Alex knew he wouldn't get back to sleep, not when he knew what awaited him if he did. It was way too early to go running yet, so he laid back down and put an arm over his eyes.

He had a problem.

A big, huge, massive problem that he needed to solve if he didn't want his relationship with Vict to end as abruptly as it had begun. He needed to be able to feel comfortable with him… that way, or they'd never do more than just kiss. He needed to not be afraid of his touch, to not be reminded by it of the man that had broken him.

He knew though, that that could only happen when his own reflection didn't trigger those memories, which is what he'd been trying to work through for the past two years… unsuccessfully.

He turned to his side again, eyes opened and staring at the slit of light coming through the window. He had to get past this. He needed to get better, or he would spend the rest of his life alone and scared.

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I'm not sure about the ending, but I had so much fun writing this chapter that I can't help but like it. It was interesting exploring a different side of Vict and to have them a bit at odds with each other after the events of the previous chapter. I know some of you are already guessing what's going on with him, and it'll be interesting (and really, really hard) to portray what both boys are going through in the midst of their relationship. I hope I can do it justice.

I thank you all again for the constant support and the amazing reviews you give me. If there's anything you'd like to add: thoughts on this chapter, requests for future ones, guesses, preferences, etc. My door is always opened!

I hope to hear from you soon! Until next chapter!