AN: Warning once again! This chapter contains references to an R-rated horror film series! It also holds a lot of epicness! Be wary, as viewing either could result in one's head asploding! But somehow, I don't think that'll hurt you guys too much.
Chapter 9: The Great Luigi Escapé!
The heroes, defeated in the battle of Hazy Maze Cave, though it was really just a bunch of rioting and random appearances by various media-related loonies, return finally to Peach's Castle. Though their total number of Power Stars is no greater than when they entered, as it normally is, they are determined to find newfound support in their new battle against the mysterious ?, and his new, ever-growing army.
With the heroes returned safely to the castle, they proceed onward with their mission to…well, you know…
Yoshi: Know what?
Well, gonna go save Luigi, right? It's pretty much in the title.
Yoshi: Why's it spelled "escapé"?
Sounds cool. Anyway, the group decides to head out into the backyard of the castle.
Yoshi: Backyard? What backyard? And why are we-
JUST FOLLOW THE FREAKING SCRIPT! IN any case, they arrive to find the field filled with-
Yoshi: I thought it was a backyard. Now it's a field?
…it's a fielded backyard. Better?
Yoshi:…not really…
*sigh* In any case it's filled with Boos.
Gary: BOOS? EEK!
Lucky: What's wrong with Boos?
Gary: They're…they're…not human.
Everyone else: Uuggghhhh…
Yoshi: Gary, they're ghosts. They're not supposed to BE human.
Gary: Truthfully, yes, but they were ONCE human.
Yoshi: Why do I get the strangest feeling every horror movie is going to be involved with this sense.
Gary: I see dead people.
Yoshi:…let's go find the next world.
Heh heh, funny story about that.
Yoshi: Oh please don't tell me it's NOT here!
Oh, it's here…in a Boo's stomach…
Yoshi: o_O Boos have stomachs?
Not really. Have fun. And Mr. Popo says, "Bye."
Yoshi: o_o
Mario: Well, looks like we have to do this the old fashioned way.
DK: Beat the non-living tar out of 'em?
Mario: No. We have to:
PROCEED TO ACT LIKE COWARDS AND SNEAK ATTACK THEM WITH GROUND POUNDS!
…
DK: That's the plan?
Mario: Pretty much.
Everyone else: Uuugggghhhh…
And so, after restlessly cowering before Boos so as to get the jump on them, and by gaining coins and such, the group finally encounters a rather large Boo. After proceeding with their lame and un-action-packed strategy, they ground-pound the Boo into submission and discover a small cage.
Mario: o_O WTF? Cage?
Yoshi: That's pretty random. I hope this isn't the world we need to go into.
?: It sure is.
Mr. Popo appears!
Heroes: O_O WTF?
Popo: That's right. You get to go in there.
Yoshi:…wait, which Popo are you?
Popo: Bye!
Mr. Popo pushes the heroes onto the cage, which sucks them in promptly.
Yoshi: Abridged, I see.
THE HEROES ARE FALLING INTO THE PORTAL!
When the heroes finally land, they hit the ground. Hard.
Yoshi: Gee, tha-*slams into ground*
…
…
"Are those the ones you're referring to?"
"Very much, Big Boo."
"Eyahahahaha! They look like nothing! And no way will they survive my lair of doom!"
"Do NOT underestimate them, Boo. They are NOT to be trifled with."
"Please! They landed face first on impact! They won't survive that, much less the house!"
"Still, this isn't Monster House! Don't worry, I'll watch Luigi. Just take care of them."
"Hehe, no problem."
…
…
The heroes finally awake from their strange unconscious slumber.
Yoshi: Well that was a strange nap we took while we were unconscious.
…I just said that.
Yoshi: Yes, I know.
Waluigi: Well sir, until we meet again, and the case is sol-ved!
…moving right along, the heroes look and find an enormous house in their midst. Nearby is what appears to be a tool shed.
Waluigi: Let's go into the tool shed!
Mario: Um…why?
Waluigi: So we can say stuff like "Meanwhile, in the tool shed!"
DK: Oh, goddammit, Waluigi, nobody's going to get that.
?: As a matter of fact…
A Boo appears before them!
Boo: I did.
Yoshi: Oh great. A Boo.
Boo: Ooohh, I'm a ghooost, oooohh!
Yoshi: Oh, stop it. We already know that. Right Waluigi?
…
Yoshi: Waluigi?
Waluigi: *lying down on the ground, his face pale as a Boo*
Boo: I take offense to that!
Aroramage: If you know what's good for you…oh Grambi, who cares? Everyone freakin' breaks the Fourth Wall in this CARA.
Yoshi: That's not true.
Aroramage: Alright, name 1 person in the CARA who HASN'T broken the Fourth Wall.
Yoshi: Um…um…uhhh…Grambi?
Grambi: I see all, know all, and think that we shouldn't be making LittleKuriboh, TeamFourStar, and DarkSideIncorporated references.
Yoshi:...
Mario: So where should we go?
DK: Through the most direct path! The front door!
Gary: Of course! Cause they'll never see THAT coming.
Boo: So, you've decided to go through the front, eh?
Yoshi: Wait…are you an agent of the big bad boss in this hectic haunted house?
Boo: Um…no…not…really…
Yoshi:...GET HIM!
The heroes lunge toward the Boo! Which is proven useless because the Boo becomes intangible!
Yoshi: Goddammit!
The heroes fall flat on their faces. Again. And the Boo floats away through the front door of the Scary Mary and disappears.
Yoshi: After it!
The heroes foolishly follow the Boo through the front door. Something no one should ever do in their life. Follow a ghost through a door. It never works out. In any case, they have entered:
BIIIIIG BOOOOOOO'S HAAAAAAAUUUUUUNNNNNNT!
…yeah. Anyways, they enter inside the house and find nothing but what appears to be the first floor, a couple of doors, and…a TV screen?
Yoshi: Oh dear Grambi, please tell me you're not seriously going to-
The TV turns on, revealing the Jigsaw puppet!
JSP: Hello, heroes. I'd like to play a little game.
Yoshi: Oh, you have GOT to be ****ing kidding me this time! Granted, we've had random users from your dimension battle us, strange movie-related creatures, but come on! The SAW series?
Aroramage: What? It's appropriate!
Yoshi: Gah!
JSP: You are all considered the saviors of a generation, the leaders of a free people. But you forget that you hurt those you need to bring to justice. You punish with your fists what should be punished by the law. Now you shall play a game where justice will become your ultimate salvation – if you play by the rules. Inside one of the rooms of this house, there is an old piano. Inside the piano is a clue to where the hostage can be found. Unfortunately, you are now sealed within the house for the next 3 hours, without any chance for escape.
The front door shuts off tightly!
Yoshi: Oh crap.
JSP: Soon, you will be breathing in a deadly nerve gas which will kill you in 2 hours.
Mario: Does the plot of Saw 2 tell you anything?
Waluigi: Oh, sh*t, where's the crazy bitch?
JSP: Not to worry. Find the piano and retrieve the clue. Follow the trail of breadcrumbs and you will be able to leave with the hostage.
Yoshi: And you're giving us 2 hours to do this in?
JSP: The game will begin in 30 seconds. Live or die. The choice is yours.
The TV is turned off as a mysterious purple fog fills the room.
Yoshi: Isn't nerve gas invisible and lacks a scent of any kind?
Aroramage: Just work with me on this one for once, okay?
Mario: Great, so now we have exactly 2 hours from the moment we breathe in this stuff to find the hostage, whoever it is.
DK: Guess the game wouldn't be as fun if there wasn't a challenge.
Yoshi: Alright then, let's get moving! Find that piano!
The heroes venture into the house, with only 2 hours until their untimely doom.
1:59:32 running…
Meanwhile, in a mysterious room towards the top…
Big Boo and Cackletta's spirit are floating around. Nearby is a camera with the Jigsaw Puppet nearby.
BB: Oh man! This will be good! Now they are all trapped within the house until they either find us or are killed by the gas!
Cackletta: Eyaheheheh! This evil plan of ours is going to rid the master of our problem once and for all! And all we needed was a voice modulator, an old puppet, and a video camera!
The two continue their laughter as a nearby screen shows the heroes walking towards a particular room…
1:58:47 running…
The door to another room is opened, and inside is a piano.
Yoshi: Wow, that was easy.
Waluigi: Quick, let's get the clue and get out of here!
Gary: Yeah. This place is giving me the willies!
Mario: Oh, pipe down, will ya? There's nothing in here to be afraid of.
W&G: Really?
Mario: …yet. There's nothing to be afraid of yet, that's what I meant.
The heroes approach the piano. Its dust covered wood gleams in the pale moonlight.
Waluigi: Like the devil.
...
Waluigi: What?
Mario looks and sees a slip of paper in the piano while Yoshi strokes the dust off.
Yoshi: Well this is just plain weird.
Mario: Don't worry, I've got it.
Mario reaches into the piano to get the clue. Suddenly, white wood appears!
Yoshi: Mario, look out!
Mario quickly retrieves the paper before the piano bites down! The piano becomes rabid! It attacks the heroes!
BATTLE 1 START!
Heroes
Yoshi: 45 HP, 35 SP
CC: 40 HP, 30 SP
Waluigi: 40 HP, 30 SP
DK: 50 HP, 35 SP
Mario: 40 HP, 35 SP
Lucky: 30 HP, 45 SP
Gary: 35 HP, 40 SP
Animated Instrumental Ghost (AIG)!
Piano: 0 HP, 25 SP
Yoshi: *looks at stats* Hey, wait a minute. What's with the 0 HP?
Waluigi: It must be…a ZOMBIE! :O
Mario: No, it must be immortal.
Waluigi: A.k.a. a ZOMBIE! :O
DK: No, I'm sure it's a goof in the system because this really shouldn't be an enemy in any situation.
…
Waluigi: A.k.a. a-
Yoshi: GRAMBI, IF YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME I'M GONNA POP YOU!
Waluigi:…zombie!
Yoshi: Argh!
Mario: Well, we already got the clue, so this is just a battle of survival.
Waluigi: I volunteer Crimson Crusader for being lunchmeat.
CC: Hey!
Mario: No one's going to be any kind of meat. Unless you like cooking meat on old charcoal.
Mario throws a Fireball for 3 SP at Piano! It is set ablaze and burns into ashes!
BATTLE 1 END!
Yoshi:…well, that was a waste of time.
The heroes look at the clue. It says, "LOOK AT THE WALL." Doing what the piece of paper demands, the heroes look and see-
HA, NOOB! THE SUSPENSE HAS KILLED YOU. GAME OVER…
Aroramage: Wait, what?
JSP: Yes. Game over. The suspense of waiting has killed off your readers! Without the readers, an author is nothing! And now to salvage the story, you'll have to play a game.
Aroramage: But you're only here for the cameo.
JSP: And it's gonna be the best cameo of all.
Aroramage:…and why am I involved?
JSP: The reader chose 9 on your roulette, saying, "Oh the suspense is KILLING me!"
Aroramage: That was just a filler thing saying I get free-range over what happens.
JSP: Wait, seriously?
Aroramage: Seriously. Just as long as I choose one of the roulette options.
JSP:…great. Just great.
Aroramage: Just go back to making SAW 16 or whatever number you're on by now.
JSP: SAW 6! WITH A CAMEO OF 6! STARRING 6!
Aroramage: …OH CRAP, EVIL #666!
JSP: Mwahahahaha-*hack, cough, wheeze*
Aroramage:…moving on…
aroramage makes his cameo! He picks choice #…
The heroes look up to find the ever-original tape and tape recorder!
Yoshi:…well that was anticlimactic.
Mario: You're telling me.
Mario grabs the tape recorder and the tape, puts the tape in the tape recorder, and presses play.
?: We now return to the pirate's special, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Never-Ending Search for Immortality, the only pirate's movie that lasts forever.
?2: Yargh, I be celebrating the wonderfulness that is this well directed film!
?3: I just wish that the movie wasn't so long.
?4: Quiet, or you're going to ruin the b-
The tape is cut off for a moment. Then…
JSP: *voice* Well done. You've gotten past the AIG representative. Now comes the real fun. If you haven't noticed already, this house has four different floors: the first floor, where you started; the basement, where all things end; the second floor, where all things rise before the fall; and the third floor, where the captive resides. Before you can reach the top, you must first hit rock bottom!
Suddenly, a trapdoor opens beneath the heroes! They all fall into the basement!
…
…
Meanwhile, in the tool shed…
…
Mr. L arrives on the scene. He is gathering materials inside of the tool shed. Brobot MLX is with him.
Mr. L: Now we just take this, and some of this, and a little bit of that, and we should be able to fine tune certain parts well enough to perfection!
BMLX: ANALYSIS: EQUIPMENT ACQUIRED. PROCEDURE TO ULTIMATE WEAPON COMMENCE.
Mr. L: Yes. Soon, our master will be able to harness the power of the stars we've collected, and then we shall use the death machine to annihilate the so-called "heroes" once and for all. With Krillen's intelligent design, the Master's plan, and Cackletta's spiritual diversion, nothing can stop us from completing our task!
BMLX: OBJECTIVE: RULE THE UNIVERSE. COMPLETION RATING: 30%
Mr. L: Oh, now, come on! I'm sure we've gotten further than that!
BMLX: ANALYSIS: COMPLETED COLLECTION OF NECESSARY TOOLS AND SET UP DIVERSION. FOLLOWED BLUEPRINTS. COLLECTED POWER STARS. ONLY 30%
Mr. L: Well, when you put it that way…
…
…
Meanwhile, inside the basement…
1:28:17 remaining…
The heroes wake up and discover they are in the basement.
Yoshi: You already said that.
Well, I'm not perfect, okay?
Lucky: What happened?
DK: We must've fallen through the ceiling into the basement.
Mario: Right where he wanted us to go, I imagine.
Yoshi: Oh right! The tape recorder!
Yoshi finds the tape, puts it back in the recorder, and resumes the play.
JSP: *voice* -you must first hit rock bottom!
Yoshi: Musta backed up a little.
JSP: *voice* Now that you have reached the bottom floor, it's time for you to do what heroes do best: rise to the top. You will fight many challenges along the way to reaching the top, and in the end, some of you might not make it. You will be put through extreme mental and physical torture in a sense. If you can't take on what you are about to face, then it is best you stop here and now. In fact, allow me to give one of you that opportunity. Inside this basement is a vial of antidote for the poison gas you have been breathing in. Here's a hint: seek out the damsel in distress or else you will be the damsel! Hahahahahaha!
The tape cuts off.
Yoshi:…wow…just…wow…
Mario: Alright, so there's an antidote. That's good news.
DK: Only problem is that there's only one vial of it.
Mario: We can all just take a small sip.
Yoshi: But that means we'd have to divide it evenly amongst the seven of us. That may or may not be a sufficient amount.
Mario: Then it would at least keep us alive for that much longer.
CC: *sniff* That's so noble of you Mario.
Waluigi: *sniff* Really good of you, mate.
Lucky: Well even then, we can't divide it until we find it, so let's get moving!
Everyone: Yeah!
And so, teamwork and friendship are about to once again pay off in the face of treachery and fear…yeah…
Anyway, so the heroes search throughout the basement, only to find most of it has water on the floor and that there is a lift and strange carnival music coming from what might be a carousel.
Yoshi: What do you suppose that music is?
Waluigi: I don't know and REALLY don't want to find out!
Lucky: What's a matter, laddy? Afraid of carnivals much?
Waluigi: Trust me, you've seen one carnival, you've seen them all. Especially when it's *grabs a flashlight and turns it on beneath his chin to give him that scary look* THE DAAAAARK CARNIVALLLLL!
Heroes:…
Waluigi: It doesn't sound scary, but once you go there, you NEVER want to have a pie thrown in your face ever again!
Heroes:…
Waluigi: It's freaking scary as hell! It's scary as hell! It's hell!
Heroes:…
Waluigi: And never try and eat the food. BECAUSE IT EATS BACK!
Heroes:…
Waluigi: WHY ARE YOU NOT SCARED?
Mario: Because we at least have half a brain.
DK: Besides, that's not scary at all.
Yoshi: You wimp.
And so the fearless adventurers walked through the door from which the carnival music came from. Except for Waluigi, who is instead dragged through the door. Inside, the music is louder and there are several pictures of shy Boos.
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!
Yoshi: What? What is it?
Waluigi: It's…BOOOOOOOOOOOOS!
…
Yoshi: You have GOT to be kidding me.
Waluigi: Hey, come on! Boooos, man! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!
In the center of the room is a pedestal, and atop the pedestal is a vial of blue liquid.
Mario: That must be the antidote!
Waluigi: What makes you say that?
The antidote is labeled "ANTIDOTE", with a huge sign obviously displayed as antidote.
Mario:…call it a hunch.
?: NOT. SO. FAST!
A Boo appears from a nearby painting!
Boo1: I. AM. HERE. TO. ANNIHILATE. YOU. ALL!
Mario:…you've got to be kidding.
Yoshi: They sent a slightly speech-impaired Boo to fight us.
Boo1: NO. NOT. SPEECH. IMPAIRED. JUST. LIKE. TO. TALK. LIKE. THIS!
Heroes:…
Boo1: CHOOSE. ONE. PERSON. TO. BEAT. THE. EVER. DEAD. CRAP. OUT. OF. ME. IF. THAT. IS. POSSIBLE!
CC: Why?
Boo1: TO. FIGHT. FOR. THE. ANTIDOTE!
DK: What time we got?
Mario: 1:16:27 remaining.
Waluigi: I'll do it!
Yoshi: Fine.
…
Yoshi:…wait, what?
Lucky: Poor Waluigi. He'd be the weakest link in a plate of sausages.
…
Yoshi:…wait…what?
Waluigi: Yeah! I'm gonna kick some invisible intangible ghost ass!
Boo1: WHICH. IS. PHYSICALLY. IMPOSSIBLE!
Waluigi: Prepare to DIE! Again!
Yoshi: Want to go watch some Naruto The Abridged Comedy Fandub Spoof Series Show?
Gary: Yay! I love to smoke cigarettes! It tastes like burning cause it's working!
Waluigi: Name your game!
Boo1: GAME? WHERE. WE. GO. WE. DO. NOT. NEED. GAMES!
Yoshi: Must you talk like that?
Boo1: YES. IT. IS. DRAMATIC!
Waluigi: Then where are we going?
?: Where else would you go for the greatest show on earth?
MC Ballyhoo and Big Top appear!
Yoshi: What? Seriously, what the ****?
Aroramage: Look, I've had a lot going on right now. My girlfriend's moving far away, I got my wisdom teeth surgically removed, and I've been playing lots of Mario Party 8. Cut me some slack!
MCB: Lookitahere! Time to party Duel Style, yeah! And where better to go to then THE STAR CARNIVAL!
Yoshi: But I thought that already happened.
MCB: The Star Carnival can happen whenever, wherever, whatever the reason, because of whyever with whoever! However you slice it, we dice it!
Waluigi: Wait. Let me get this straight. We're going to battle. For the antidote. In a time-consuming game of Mario Party?
MCB: Precise-a-mente, senor!
Mario: You know what, Waluigi, you have fun getting that antidote. The rest of us are gonna run around the house and find some antidotes ourselves.
Waluigi: Fine! I can take on this specter-
Waluigi closes his eyes, pulls his cap over his eyes, and reaches into his overalls, and-
Waluigi: -and send it to hell!
-pulls out a rose.
Heroes:…WTF?
Yoshi: Waluigi. Why (oh Grambi, why?) do you have that rose?
Waluigi: Just for my very special victory pose!
Mario: That better be equipped with special magical powers or something.
Waluigi: Nope. Just sparkles as I pull it out.
Heroes: *anime fall*
Mario: Fine. We'll go to the first floor and work on antidotes and Luigi and such.
Waluigi: Hasta luego, senores!
The rest of the heroes leave the room.
MCB: Ho-ho-ho! Time to get this party started! And the board we'll be playing on is: KING BOO'S HAUNTED HIDEAWAY!
Waluigi: o_o What have I gotten myself into…
…
…
Meanwhile, with the heroes…
Yoshi: You think Waluigi will be okay?
DK: Yeah, he'll be fine.
Lucky: No need to worry about the lad. He'll do just fine, and get his own special antidote as a reward.
CC: I think there was a lift somewhere over this way.
The heroes walk down the hallway and sure enough, a metal caged lift is at the very end. They all gather onto the lift, which automatically goes to the top. When they reach there, the room is empty – except for the Mister I!
Mario: It's a Mister I! Quick! Run around it!
After running around it and making it dizzy, the heroes gain some coins. Yay, coins! They then promptly leave through the conveniently placed nearby doorway, only to find that they have come out of the tool shed (one watermelon, please!) and are now once again in the front of the house on the outside.
Yoshi: Wait, I thought the doors we're locked so we couldn't leave the house.
Mario: We were.
Yoshi: Then how did we get on the outside?
Mario: Basement route to tool shed.
Yoshi: o_O
DK: Something's wrong. If we could get out of the house…
…
Meanwhile, with the villains…
The heroes are on a nearby monitor outside the tool shed.
Cackletta: WTF? HOW DID THEY GET OUT?
BB: You know…I have no idea…
Fawful: They were sneaking like finkrats through the basement and found the secretive lift which lifted them to the surface like a bungie cord of salvation!
Cackletta: You think you know a hero, and then this happens! Now they'll know something's up! YOU! YOU SCREWED THIS UP! TAKE CARE OF IT!
BB: Bleh! Fine! But only until the King gets back!
Cackletta: The King's gonna be busy! In the meanwhile, I'm in charge, and I order you to TAKE CARE OF THIS!
BB: Bleh! Fine!
Big Boo disappears through the wall.
Fawful: Cackletta, we can't wait for him! We can't sit around like molding spaghetti noodles waiting for the chef to throw us at the wall to test our goodness! We must flee! Flee like flying monkeys of Oz who seek out Dorothy for the Wicked Witch of the West!
Cackletta: Sometimes, Fawful, I don't understand you. But there is no need to flee. Not while we're here!
Fawful: You are plotting a nasty plot to smack those finkrats like flies with a flyswatter! You have a plan?
Cackletta: Yes. Yes I do.
…
…
…
Yoshi: You know, come to think of it, where did The Red Chao go?
Mario: I haven't seen him since the volcano incident.
Aroramage: Oh, he's doing just fine in his special place…
Meanwhile, in a special place…
TRC: Hey! Where the **** am I?
?: Yargh, not to worry, matey!
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1 appears in pirate garb along with a gang of infamous pirates:
Luffy, the Crazy Rubberband-Man!
Admiral Razorbeard, the Cutthroat Terror!
Tetra, the Piratical Beauty!
Cortez, the Skeletal Menace!
Ridley, the Cosmic Horror!
Cecil, the Red Wing Leader!
And Jonathan Jones, the Bloodthirsty Shark!
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: Yargh!
TRC:…dude…how long have you BEEN here?
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: Long enough, compadre. Long enough.
TRC: Seriously, though, how long have you been here?
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: For too long I've been parched of thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I've been starving to death and haven't died.
TRC:…yeah, that's great. But seriously, where'd you get these guys?
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: That be of no importance as of yet. For now, we set sail! To the main plot!
And so the crew of the Vengeance set sail for the main story, hoping to once again be reunited in grand union with the epic saga of Super Mario 64 DS CARA.
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: And he said MY name was long.
TRC: Say, where'd this ocean come from anyway?
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: Who cares?
(*FORESHADOWING*)
Meanwhile, back at the plot…
Our heroes have, under mysterious circumstances, found themselves outside of the very house that was supposedly inescapable, which they escaped via a secret service elevator in the basement. Noting this, they believe that something is very wrong.
Yoshi: I believe that something is very wrong.
Mario: The fact that we managed to get out of a house that is supposed to be inescapable is mysterious.
Yoshi: I'm starting to think that this isn't real.
CC: What, the house isn't really there? Or was it ever there to begin with?
Yoshi:…well, yeah, something like that I suppose. But I'm talking about another thing. It's already been an hour since we've been exposed to that nerve gas. Shouldn't we have experienced some sort of symptom?
Mario: Maybe it comes as a sudden shock.
CC: Like DEATH.
…
CC:…I miss Waluigi.
Yoshi: I think that he's been set up.
Lucky: You mean like a trap?
Yoshi: Precisely. The nerve gas isn't a real danger.
Gary: But it was a cloud of purple fog! Purple fog usually means BAD.
Yoshi: It also means purple fog, a.k.a. purple-colored fog, a.k.a. fog juice with added in purple-colored food coloring into a fog machine to create said fog of the color purple.
AN: I don't know if this actually works. Feel free to tell me about it!
…
CC: What?
Yoshi: It's fog colored purple with no harmful side effects.
Lucky: Which probably means that back there, Waluigi-
Yoshi: -is stuck in some sort of trap.
CC: Speaking of missing persons, has anyone seen DK?
The group looks around them and are stunned to find that DK is nowhere in sight!
Mario: Quick! To the mansion!
Gary: Great idea! Let's go straight to the house of the people trying to kill us!
Yoshi: We can play state-the-bad-idea later, but now we got to save 'em!
The remaining heroes run into the house, hoping to stop the madness that dwells from within…
Meanwhile, in the basement…
*cue the intro music!* KING BOO'S HAUNTED HIDEAWAY! Waluigi vs. Boo!
MCB: Well, well, well! Here we are at the scary harry, the monster mansion, the haunted hideaway! Ghouls and ghosts alike are floating and scurrying and haunting about in classical scary format so that you can truly experience the terror found within the realm of King Boo! Let the terror SEEP INTO YOUR SOUL…any questions bout the board?
Waluigi: *pale as a ghost…hehe, it's thematic* O.O
MCB: No? Well then, just gather 2 Stars from King Boo by buying them from him for 10 coins apiece! Let's roll to see who goes first!
Two Dice Blocks appear over Boo and Waluigi! The two whack the blocks! Boo rolls an 8! Waluigi rolls a 9!
MCB: And it's settled! Waluigi will go first, followed by Boo!
Boo: I. WILL. WIN. THIS. FIGHT!
Waluigi: Bring it on, Ghoulman!
Boo: WHY. WOULD. YOU. CALL. ME. THAT?
Waluigi:…well, Boo is generic. I thought Ghoulman would be pun-ny, stupid, and yet strangely awesome.
Boo: FINE. THEN. I. AM. GHOULMAN!
MCB: Before we get started, I'll give each of you 10 coins!
Waluigi and Ghoulman receive 10 coins apiece! Let's get this party started!
Turn 1
Waluigi rolls first! Waluigi whacks the Dice Block! Waluigi gets a 6!
Waluigi: Alright, on my way!
Heading down from the start, Waluigi enters the official board! He passes a Blue space and an Orange VS Space before hitting a fork, aiming towards the left and down. On the down turn, a Whomp is in his way.
Waluigi: I thought we killed you guys back at the fortress.
Whomp#1: GRARGH! HOW DARE YOU BRING THAT UP!
Waluigi: Why? Does that make you the Last Whompbender?
Whomp#1: I THOUGHT THAT SHOW WAS GREAT! YOU MUST DIE!
Waluigi: o_o Definitely know where I'm going!
Waluigi forks left! He passes over a Green space and a Red space before entering the next room! He passes a Blue space and lands on a Green space! The Green space activates! Next to it is a mysterious ancient treasure chest.
Waluigi: $o$ Money!
The chest rattles and shakes before gently opening, revealing an ominous pink light.
Waluigi: O.O Light!
Suddenly, pink Boos ambush Waluigi!
Waluigi: OoO AMBUSH!
The Pink Boos attack Waluigi and steal 10 coins!
Waluigi:…GAWD-DAMMIT!
Meanwhile, somewhere far, far away…
An assistant frantically runs to the mighty Gawd.
Assistant: Gawd! Gawd! We have a damming request again!
Gawd: AGAIN? WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE AND ASKING ME TO DAMN ALL THESE THINGS? CAN'T THEY SEE I'M BUSY? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?
Assistant: I know, sir, but not fulfilling the requests of people requesting damnation of others is a request for higher powers to eliminate us all!
Gawd: NO! I WILL NOT CONTINUE TO BE APART OF THIS OPERATION! THIS ENDS TONIGHT! I'M GETTING TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS, AND I'M SURE THE FOURTH WALL IS BEHIND IT!
Assistant: Do you request the boat, oh Gawd?
Gawd: YES! WE SET SAIL…FOR THE PLOT!
And so, the crew of the Divinity set sail for the main story, hoping to get to the bottom of this damned business we like to call Super Mario 64 DS CARA.
Gawd: Me, that's a long name!
Assistant: Say, where'd this ocean come from anyway?
Gawd: Who cares?
Meanwhile, back at the board game plot device…
It's Ghoulman's turn! Ghoulman smacks the Dice Block! Ghoulman gets an 8!
Ghoulman: HERE. I. COME!
Ghoulman moves down two spaces, forks left, across four spaces, going past Waluigi in the process, and hits a fork in the road! Ghoulman chooses to go straight, towards the Whomp!
Whomp#2: PAY ME 10 COINS SO WE CAN REBUILD OUR HOME!
Ghoulman: AND. SO. I. CAN. PASS. THIS. WAY?
Whomp#2: DAT TOO!
Waluigi: So much yelling…
Ghoulman pays the Whomp's fee of 10 coins! Whomp moves over to block the other path! Ghoulman has no more coins! He proceeds two spaces, lands on blue, and gains 3 coins!
Turn 2
It's Waluigi's turn! Waluigi whacks the Dice Block! Waluigi gets a 9!
Waluigi: Here I go!
Waluigi first forks left, then moves past 3 blue spaces, a yellow space, then 3 more blue spaces, then passes a red space before coming across another fork, this time going up or down. Waluigi chooses to go up! He finally lands on a blue space and gets 3 coins! It's Ghoulman's turn! Ghoulman smacks the Dice Block! Ghoulman gets a 9!
Ghoulman: HA. HA. HA!
Ghoulman follows Waluigi's path and passes Waluigi! He then proceeds to head up 2 spaces ahead of Waluigi, lands on Blue, and gets 3 coins!
Turn 3
It's Waluigi's turn! Waluigi whacks the Dice Block! Waluigi gets a 10!
Waluigi: Here I go!
Waluigi passes Ghoulman and runs across a coin block! He smacks it and gains 1 coin! He then proceeds to another fork going up-down! He chooses to go up! He eventually lands on a blue space, gaining 3 coins! It's Ghoulman's turn! Ghoulman smacks the Dice Block! Ghoulman gets a 5!
Ghoulman: HA. HA. HA!
Ghoulman follows Waluigi's footsteps towards the coin block and gets 1 coin!
MCB: I wonder if we rigged that to just give one coin.
Ghoulman continues forward and lands on a DK space! DK appears out of nowhere!
DK: Oo-Ah! What am I doing here?
MCB: You're here because Ghoulman has landed on a DK space, meaning you get to provide something beneficial to the game!
DK: Oh...well, alright! Let's block those pitfalls! (How did I even know what to do? Maybe I've done this before or something…)
DK blocks all pitfalls!
MCB: Now DK will stop Pink Boos from dropping you into a Pitfall and reward you with a Star!
Waluigi: Wait a minute, so DK's going to give us a prize for showing up while he does all the dirty work?
MCB: Pretty much! How lopsided are we?
Waluigi: -_-
DK: I'll be waiting!
MCB: And so will Bowser, now that all DK spaces have turned into Bowser spaces!
Waluigi: WHAT? BOWSER'S HERE?
MCB: Well, not yet. If you land on a Bowser space, Bowser will appear, but even then, it's not recommended that you land on one anyway.
Waluigi: -_-
Meanwhile, on the inside of the frightening fantasyland known as the mansion…
The heroes have reentered the house of doom, discovering that a mysterious staircase to the second floor has mysteriously appeared.
Gary: -_- How convenient.
Yoshi: I think we ought to split into two groups.
CC: WHAT? YOU WANT US TO FURTHER DIVIDE OUR NUMBERS?
Yoshi:...we've got enough people as is anyway, and I don't think it's a bad idea.
Gary: It's a bad idea.
Yoshi: We can split it pretty evenly.
Gary: No we can't! We have-
Gary proceeds to perform a headcount! Headcount reveals four members!
Gary: O_O Holy crap, where did Lucky go?
Yoshi: Well, it divvies up the team split. Mario, take your pick.
Mario: I'll go with Crimson Crusader on the first floor. You can have Gary.
CC: :D Happy fun time with my idol!
Mario:...uh, Yoshi-
Yoshi: Too late! You called him! See you guys later!
Yoshi and Gary dash up the stairs before Mario can change his mind.
Mario:…damn, where did everybody go?
…
…
"Master?"
"Yes?"
"The machine is working perfectly. We will soon be ready to test it."
"Good, good. And how is Bowser doing?"
"I'm not sure. Last I heard, he was heading towards the docks."
"The docks?"
"Yes sir. He mentioned something about a fleet, I believe."
"I imagine he's preparing it for departure, yes?"
"I would think so, but I can't be sure."
"In any case, he is probably preparing to make his way towards the Fire Sea. That will be interesting."
"The Fire Sea? How far away is that? Seeing as the docks themselves consist of water…"
"It's another world away, but with the power of the stars, it might as well be the next block over."
"That's good."
"Have you amassed any more stars since last time?"
"Not really, sir. I've been busy keeping track of these heroes."
"That's alright. I have been monitoring Cackletta's actions."
"Is she handling them?"
"For the moment. Simple division of the team has slowly taken place."
"She's separating them?"
"They say strength in numbers is greater than strength alone."
"I suppose. I should know, after the Dark World episode."
"Yes, you should."
"My apologies for bringing that up, sir."
"No matter. Thanks to all that we have set up, we'll be ready for these heroes, no matter what they plan on doing."
"Excellent, sir."
"By the way, how is our prisoner doing?"
"Just fine, sir. Just fine…"
…
…
We find Wario digging through a handmade tunnel of his, desperately trying to get out. Clenched in his teeth is a candle, dripping hot wax slowly onto the dirt on the floor.
Wario: No freaky alien guy, or whatever he is, is going to keep me locked up in here for long! I'm-a gonna get out!
Patch of dirt after patch of dirt, he struggles to dig. After a few minutes, he takes a break and sits down on a nearby rock, immobile from his dig. He places the candle nearby and looks back down where he had been digging from. He has made it a surprisingly long way.
Wario: Geez, I thought I would've been out of this place by now. I wonder where I am.
After several minutes of rest, Wario continues to dig through. Stroke after stroke, shovel after shovel, claw after claw, he slowly progresses through the tunnel. Finally, he strikes something other than dirt.
Wario: What the heck? A barrier?
Tossing aside other flecks of dirt, he sees the shine of metal.
Wario: What the hell?
He looks down at the ground beneath and moves aside the dirt for a bit. No more than three inches down is more metal.
Wario: Where the hell am I?
Using his fist on the first barrier, he punches through the wall. Bending it around like cardboard, Wario looks out and is stunned as to what he sees…
…
…
We find Yoshi and Gary on the second floor of the mansion (not surprisingly) and are looking around for…something.
Yoshi: *sigh* The people behind this façade.
Right! So they search around the second floor and find-
Yoshi: Nothing! There's not a single clue as to how to find who's behind this!
Gary: Dang, I thought we'd be able to find SOMETHING.
Yoshi: Me too. But it doesn't look like that's going to be-
Gary: Hey look! An entrance to a balcony we never checked.
Yoshi:…that seems awfully convenient.
Gary: Let's check it out!
So the duo head out onto the balcony and-
?: Hello, little fleshlings!
*gasp* BIG BOO APPEARS ON THE BALCONY!
Yoshi:…hi.
Gary: o_o
BB: Heheheheheh! I've been waiting for you! Now we fight!
Yoshi: Wait a minute, we just got here, so you're going to just fight us?
BB: Yes!
Yoshi: Without any long speeches or dialogues or announcements related to your evil plans?
BB: Yes!
Yoshi: Not even an introduction?
BB: Yes!
Yoshi:…eh, works for me. BRING IT ON!
BATTLE 2 START!
Goomba Eggs
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP
Gary: 45 HP, 45 SP
Evil Ghost Thing
Big Boo: 100 HP, 50 SP
Yoshi: *reads team name* Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. Goomba Eggs? What the hell, mage?
Aroramage: You know, it's this kind of insubordination that REALLY PISSES ME OFF!
Yoshi: But come on. Goomba Eggs? I'm REALLY sure Goombas do not lay eggs.
Gary: *petrified because of Big Boo, so he has no comment at this time*
Aroramage: Work with me, here! YOU lay eggs, and he's a Goomba! What, you think a "Goomboshi" would make sense?
Yoshi: What the hell is that supposed to be?
Aroramage: WHAT DO YOU THINK? It's a Goomba-fied Yoshi! He's brown, mushroom-shaped, has a tail, and uses his tongue and lays Goomba Eggs!
Yoshi: Well then use him for that then!
Aroramage: He's part of my made-up characters file! I don't need to do anything!
Meanwhile, in the Made-up Characters File…
Goomboshi: Hey! That is not cool!
Shrawful: *incomprehensible Shroobish*!
Goomboshi: I don't know what that means, but you're right! I think…
Shrawful: *more Shroobish*!
Goomboshi:…yeah, let's head for the main story!
Shrawful: *Shroobish*!
And so, the crew of the Stupidity set sail for-
Goomboshi: Hey! That is NOT our ship's name!
…fine. The crew of the Imagination set sail for the main story, where they seek redemption and a true purpose in their meaningless existence beyond the story known as Super Mario 64 DS CARA.
Goomboshi: Damn you!
Shrawful: *questioning Shroobish*?
Goomboshi: Oh, who gives a f-
ANYWAY….
BATTLE 2 RE-START!
The Good Guys (a: happy? Y: Yes.)
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP
Gary: 45 HP, 45 SP
Evil Ghost Thing
Big Boo: 100 HP, 50 SP
Yoshi jumps high in the air and uses a Ground Pound!
Yoshi: Take this, you evil ghost thing!
BB: I'M NOT EVIL! OR A THING!
The attack fails as Yoshi goes straight through Big Boo.
BB: I'M A GHOOOOOOOOOOOOOST!
Yoshi: Huh…well, that could've gone better.
Gary searches through his Book of Spells!
Yoshi: You still have that thing?
Gary: Of course! Gotta use it every now and again for situations just like this!
Yoshi: o_O
Gary used the Book of Spells! Looking through its contents, he discovers a new spell!
Gary: Let's try this on for size!
Gary uses the New Spell! He chants it aloud and then-
Mario and CC are walking around the house, seeking Luigi, DK, and all the other missing persons.
Mario: This is ridiculous. Where is everybody?
CC: I'm with my idol, so I don't care! :3
Mario: Ugh...
They enter a room and approach a red floating Mystery Block.
Mario: Aren't these the kind that involve Power Flowers?
CC:…I don't think we've encountered the switch to turn it on.
Aroramage: HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT THAT?
CC: …Internet.
Aroramage:...
Mario: Then who's responsible for this?
Meanwhile, back at Peach's Castle…
We find the Toad near the front door standing alone, doing absolutely nothing.
Toad: Good grief, where IS everybody? *yells* HEY! I KNOW YOU OTHER TOADS ARE OUT THERE! COME ON, QUIT PLAYING AROUND!
Siiiiiiiileeeeeeencccccce….
Toad:…Gawd, I'm lonely.
Gawd: DAMMIT!
Toad: I sure wish there was something exciting. Like maybe if I were to stand on that strange sun thingy and look to where that light is coming from.
The Toad stands there for a minute before finally deciding to do it ("What the heck, right?"). As he stands and looks up, the strange light envelops him, entrances him, hypnotizes him.
Toad: Ooohh, preeeeeeettyyyyy…
And then, the poor Toad is instantly transported into THE SKY!
Toad:…*Crap! Can't fly!* *falls* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
The Toad falls onto a platform tower in the middle of four towers spaced out from it evenly, and upon this platform the Toad falls onto a red "?" button. Then, a sound is heard as a nearby dotted space of contained air with a "?" labeling it materializes into a red "?" block! The Toad rolls off the switch to find this block above him.
Toad: Ooooooh, pretty.
The Toad stands up, walks to the block, looks at it, and jumps up. The block disappears in a puff of smoke and a single feather falls from it. The Toad catches the feather, which then magically duplicates and gives him wings on his Mushroom Cap!
Toad: Sweet! I'm a ParaToad!
The new ParaToad jumps and flies around the towers, soaring with happiness. That is, until the wings fall off.
Toad:…dammit.
The Toad falls into the clouds below, unsure of his place in the world anymore and praying to Grambi this never happens again…
Mario & CC read the abo-
Aroramage: GAH!
…right…anyway, long story short, they now know what happened. In any case, they move right along with the plot.
Mario: Let's use this!
CC: How?
Mario: Simple: whack and grab, power-up, and-
Mario jumps up, hits the block, and a Power Flower pops out, which he grabs immediately and-
Turn 21
To catch up on the game at hand, Waluigi is ahead with 1 Star so far, thanks to DK. Unfortunately, after getting sent back to the beginning, he has gone towards the first Whomp from before, paid 10 coins, and been caught in an endless loop, as the path leads straight into the second King Boo room. The problem: Waluigi has been gaining absolutely NO coins, and has not had 10 coins for a while. Ghoulman, in the meanwhile, explored the board and got kicked back to the start by a pitfall. Now, the two are furiously trying to retrieve the Power Star by snatching at each other's coins.
AN: Okay, so I lost my notes for this. This is a summary of what happened. Actually did play a game where this happened. It. Was. Crazy.
Waluigi: Time to wrap this up with a plot device candy!
Waluigi uses the Plot Device Candy! It automatically allows him to gain 10 coins, advance the necessary amount of spaces to reach King Boo and retrieve the Power Star.
Ghoulman: WHERE. DID. YOU. GET. A. CANDY. THAT. POWERFUL?
*cue ad*
Waluigi: At your local Star Carnival!
DK: Yeah! Buy candy! It's good for you! AND gives you superpowers!
*end ad*
Ghoulman: BUT. THAT. IS. NOT. FAIR!
Waluigi: Oh, screw you! We're moving this story/subplot right along!
Waluigi finishes off the game!
KB: Eyahehehehehe! I'm King Boo! In order to win, you will…oh, Grambi, it's YOU again. Honestly, CAN NO ONE ELSE FIND THIS DAMN ROOM? Oh, fine, whatever, what do you want?
Waluigi: *holds up 10 coins*
KB: FINA-F***IN-LY! Take the Star, I don't need it anymore.
Waluigi gained the second Star to win the game!
MCB: *snoozing*
Hat: Hey! Wake up! We got a winner!
MCB: *grumbling* Finally? Well, good. Winner is Waluigi. Let's wrap this up.
END GAME!
Ghoulman: !
Waluigi wins the MP8 mini-game! Finally!
DK: Way to go, Waluigi!
Waluigi: I thought you left after the DK event.
DK: Nah. Decided to stick around in case you needed help. Again.
Waluigi: Shame we never landed on a Bowser Space so that Bowser would appear.
DK: Don't worry. We'll find him soon enough.
Waluigi: We should probably catch up with the rest of the gang, then, eh?
DK: Yeah.
Waluigi and DK are about to leave the basement forever. And good-
Ghoulman: NO! I. WILL. NOT. ALLOW. THIS!
Ghoulman blocks the exit.
Waluigi: Dude, you lost. Get over it.
Ghoulman: NO! IF. I. CAN'T. WIN. A. BOARD. GAME. THEN. I. WILL. BEAT. YOU. BOTH. IN. COMBAT!
DK: Dude, we're not going to take you on-
Ghoulman summons a legion of Pink Boos!
DK:…in battle.
Ghoulman: YOU. HAVE. NO. CHOICE!
Waluigi: Damn, what a sore loser.
BATTLE 3 START!
The Wild Things (so THAT'S where they are!)
Waluigi: 50 HP, 40 SP
DK: 60 HP, 40 SP
Ghoulman
Ghoulman: 200 HP, 25 SP
Pink Boo1: 25 HP, 0 SP
PB2: 25 HP, 0 SP
PB3: 25 HP, 0 SP
Waluigi brings out a Bob-omb and throws it! All enemies are hit for 12 dge! DK punches PB1 for 24 dge, KO-ing it!
Ghoulman: NOW. IS. THE. TIME. FOR. YOUR. DESTRUCTION!
Ghoulman sucks up the other Pink Boos (eww) and chews them before-
-a tremendous firey spread of burning destruction comes out of Gary's mouth! It hits the BB for 9 dge! Gary loses 4 SP and learns Burner Breath!
BB: Eyagh! It burns!
Yoshi: Magical breath of fire that burns ghosts? That's amazing!
Gary: Not really, considering the damage done.
The Big Boo is burned!
BB: Bleh! I will destroy you for that!
The Big Boo slowly floats towards the heroes…
…
…
Yoshi: You know what, I think that's his attack.
Aroramage: Yes it is.
The Good Guys
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP
Gary: 45 HP, 41 SP
Evil Ghost Thing
Big Boo: 91 HP, 50 SP (floating towards the good guys!) (burned!)
Yoshi: Okay, I need something to blast this guy with.
Gary: Dude, you've got that gauntlet thing you haven't used for a while.
Yoshi:…oh yeah! I forgot I had that!
Yoshi uses (dun-duh-duh-dun!) the GAUNTLET OF FIERY CHAOS!
BB: No! It's the Gauntlet Bowser has been searching for!
The GFC hits BB for 16 dge! Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! BB takes 10 dge! BB stalls as he approaches the heroes and takes 5 burn dge!
The Good Guys
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP
Gary: 45 HP, 37 SP
Evil Ghost Thing
Big Boo: 65 HP, 50 SP (floating towards the good guys!) (burned!)
Yoshi: We keep this up and we'll beat the Big Boo in no time!
Gary: Wait! Don't we need to know where Luigi is?
Yoshi: Are you kidding? Mario's got that taken care of!
Yoshi fires the GFC at BB! BB-
-balloons out and floats in the air! CC grabs onto him and they float up by tapping the A button to a nearby platform!
CC: Mario, you're so cool! :3
In any case, they reach the platform and enter the room, where there appears to be no one or nothing. In the corner, however, is a camera and a chair with the Jigsaw puppet in it.
CC: o_o *whimpers*
Mario: Relax, it's just a harmless dummy.
?: Eyaheheheh! That's what YOU think!
Cackletta and Fawful appear!
Mario: You!
Cackletta: Yes, me!
Fawful: AS well as I!
CC: *gasp*!
Mario: I thought I got rid of you back in the Beanbean Kingdom!
Cackletta: Of course you did, you fool! But that doesn't mean I wouldn't return!
Mario: But I also thought I-
Fawful: THAT NEVER HAPPENED!
Mario:…
CC: What do thy foul specter's spirits desire?
Cackeletta:…wait…what?
Fawful: We have wishes to annihilate you poor fleshlings in battle as epic as a cat trying to land on its feet with buttered toast on its back trying to smack the floor with its buttery side and causing a never-ending infinity loop of anti-gravity mysterium!
Mario:…wait…what?
CC: You fiend! Thou shalt not get away with this treacherous act!
Cackletta: *aside to Mario* Um, what is your partner saying? I can't understand his old English accent.
Mario: *aside to Cackletta* Nobody can. I think that's why the fanbase hates him so much.
Cackletta: We have a fanbase?
Mario: Oh I'm sure of it. No one would read this if we didn't.
CC: Puma-pants!
Fawful: Fink-rat!
CC: Pigeon-livered!
Fawful: Gnatty-naughty-bunny!
CC: Devil incarnate!
Fawful: Popular-less one!
CC: *gasp* You take that back!
Fawful: Eyahahaha! Never will I, the Great Fawful, be taking back the insult! It is staining you already like messy paintball of shame!
CC: Oh, it's on now! Mario!
Mario: Well, looks like we got to beat the crap out of you two.
Cackletta: May the best man, rabbit, or spirit-thing win.
Mario & Cackletta shake hands, and then assume a fighting stance!
Mario: Ghost-bitch!
Cackletta: Plumber-butt!
BATTLE 4 START!
The Scarlet Duo!
Mario: 45 HP, 40 SP
CC: 50 HP, 35 SP
The Beanish Ones!
Cackletta: 200 HP, 100 SP (protected)
C's Right Arm: 50 HP, 0 SP
C's Left Arm: 50 HP, 0 SP
C's Head: 100 HP, 0 SP
Fawful: 150 HP, 25 SP
CC: Dude, Mario! She's huge!
Mario: It's because of her spirit form. We can't hit her until we take out the other parts of her! Luckily, they're all part of the same character, so they collectively get only one attack.
CC: Interesting.
Mario: Yeah, but they'll come back if we don't beat the heart quick. Not to mention we'll also have Fawful to deal with. And another thing, the Scarlet Duo?
CC: I was about to say, neither of us is scarlet.
Aroramage: WILL YOU JUST CUT ME SOME SLACK? IT'S A SHADE OF RED! YOU BOTH HAVE SHADES OF RED! JUST DEAL WITH IT!
CC:…dammit.
Cackletta: Wait, what about us? The Beanish Ones?
Fawful: I detest this defilement of a name like a bad hairdo of messy curls of stupidity rooting themselves into my skull with my brain!
Aroramage: Do you WANT me to get the hair trap out of the Saw 4 props closet?
Fawful: o_o Fawful does not have the wish to have his only curl pulled out like rotting vegetable in dirt of cranium cap which is mine.
Aroramage: Then SHUT THE F*** UP!
Mario decides to-
-fire them out of his mouth as an orb of ethereal energy at DK! DK takes 15 dge! Ghoulman summons 3 new Pink Boos!
The Wild Things
Waluigi: 50 HP, 40 SP
DK: 45 HP, 40 SP
Ghoulman
Ghoulman: 188 HP, 25 SP
PB1: 25 HP, 0 SP
PB2: 25 HP, 0 SP
PB3: 25 HP, 0 SP
Waluigi: It's not going to do us any good to take out the Pink Boos if Ghoulman's around.
DK: I'd agree with you, if that last attack didn't hurt so much.
Waluigi: Hm…that must mean that the more Pink Boos he sucks up in an attack, the stronger it is. But every time he does that, he summons up more Pink Boos…*lightbulb moment!* I've got it!
DK: You actually thought of a plan to beat him? By yourself? With your BRAIN?
Waluigi: Yes!
Waluigi throws a random Bob-omb at the enemy! The enemy takes 17 dge! DK charges a punch!
Ghoulman: NOW. I. WILL. SEND. YOU. TO. THE. NETHERWORLD!
Waluigi:…what, like the Dark Signers?
Ghoulman: NO! THAT. WAS. JUST. STUPID. 4KIDS. DUBBERY! I. REFER. TO. ACTUAL. HELL!
Ghoulman sucks up the three Pink Boos and chews them up before firing them out of his mouth as an orb of ethereal energy at Waluigi! Waluigi-
Waluigi: *brings out racket* Oh no, you don't!
Waluigi swings the tennis racket at the orb and-
-takes 23 dge! Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! BB takes 11 dge! BB slowly floats towards the heroes and takes 6 burn dge!
The Good Guys
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP
Gary: 45 HP, 33 SP
Evil Ghost Thing
Big Boo: 31 HP, 50 SP (floating towards the good guys!) (burned!)
Yoshi faces the Big Boo!
Yoshi: Hey, Big Boo! Look at me looking at you!
BB: NO! THE STARING! IT BURNS!
BB turns transparent in fear!
Yoshi: Now we just sit back and relax while the supernatural burn he has KO's him.
Gary: Yoshi, the burn status is probably going to go away soon. Not to mention he's almost in range to do some serious damage to us.
Yoshi: Not as long as we're facing him, he's not.
The heroes choose the more passive path and wait for the burn damage and fear of being seen completely annihilate the Big Boo! BB is cowering in fear and takes 5 burn dge!
The Good Guys
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP
Gary: 45 HP, 33 SP
Evil Ghost Thing
Big Boo: 26 HP, 50 SP (cowering!) (burned)
The heroes do nothing! BB is cowering and takes 5 burn dge! BB is no longer burned!
The Good Guys
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP
Gary: 45 HP, 33 SP
Evil Ghost Thing
Big Boo: 21 HP, 50 SP (cowering!)
Yoshi: Shall I do the honors?
Gary: I'd be insulted if you didn't.
BB: Who's talking? Huh? WHO'S OUT THERE? I warn you, don't look at me! I swear I'll smash your face in with a spirit brick if I ever see you in the afterlife seeing me! STOP LOOKING AT ME!
Yoshi uses the GFC on BB! BB-
-shoot a fireball for 3 SP at Fawful! Fawful takes 15 dge! CC used Crimson Slash for 3 SP! He slashes at CLA for 22 dge!
Cackletta: Eyargh! You will PAY for that!
Fawful uses Spirit Headgear Blaster Attack of Otherworldly Doom for 5 SP! He sends spirit energy orbs at the heroes, hitting them for 5+4+5+3 dge each! Cackletta used her Arms to reach out and attack the duo! Mario takes 12 dge! CC takes 14 dge!
The Scarlet Duo!
Mario: 16 HP, 37 SP
CC: 19 HP, 32 SP
The Beanish Ones!
Cackletta: 200 HP, 100 SP (protected)
C's Right Arm: 50 HP, 0 SP
C's Left Arm: 28 HP, 0 SP
C's Head: 100 HP, 0 SP
Fawful: 135 HP, 20 SP
Mario: Man…we can't win like this!
CC: Mario! There's only one true way to beat this villainous duo!
Mario: Well, it better not involve taking damage until we faint and using a redo of some kind to restart the fight from the beginning. Taking one beating would be enough.
CC: No. We need to combine our powers together!
Mario: Hm…yes! Of course! But first…
Mario breaks a Mushroom in half and restores both heroes health by 25 HP!
Mario: Ah, that feels good.
CC: Alright! I've got a plan! Follow my lead!
CC-
-sends the orb flying back at Ghoulman!
Ghoulman: NO! MY. ATTACK. HAS. BEEN. COUNTERED?
Waluigi: KISS. MY. ASS!
Ghoulman is hit CRITICALLY for 53 dge! Two Pink Boos are summoned!
The Wild Things
Waluigi: 50 HP, 40 SP
DK: 45 HP, 40 SP (charging!)
Ghoulman
Ghoulman: 118 HP, 25 SP (tired)
PB1: 25 HP, 0 SP
PB2: 25 HP, 0 SP
Waluigi attacks Ghoulman with his tennis racket of doom!
Waluigi: Wait…what?
I'm trying to make it sound more doomsday-esque for Halloween! Like it?
Waluigi:…not really.
Well, fine! Ghoulman takes 18 dge! DK punches Ghoulman for 37 dge! Ghoulman is too tired from the blast of the previous round to do anything! The Pink Boos attack! Waluigi and DK each take 7 dge! 2 more Pink Boos appear! Ghoulman is no longer tired!
The Wild Things
Waluigi: 43 HP, 40 SP
DK: 38 HP, 40 SP
Ghoulman
Ghoulman: 63 HP, 25 SP
PB1: 25 HP, 0 SP
PB2: 25 HP, 0 SP
Waluigi: Well, DK, I say we finish him off!
DK: Wild radical super-secret attack with a shorter name?
Waluigi: Hell yeah!
Ghoulman: NO! THIS. CAN. NOT. BE!
Waluigi and DK use up 9 SP each! DK spins around and lifts into the air! Waluigi grabs his feet and they fly up together! Waluigi brings out a small cannon, aims it at the enemy, and fires 5 Bob-ombs! The enemy takes 122 total dge!
Ghoulman: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Waluigi: You just got creamed by the Heli-Bomber!
DK: Good naming!
Waluigi: Hell yeah!
END BATTLE 3!
Ghoulman is lying on the floor, bruised, beaten, and demoralized. Or something to that effect.
Waluigi: Well, now I say we find the others!
DK: But we're in the basement. How are we going to find them in this huge haunted house?
Ghoulman: RESPECTABLE. FOES.
W/DK: !
Ghoulman: FEAR. NOT. I. TELL. YOU. THE. WAY. OUT.
Ghoulman floats up and over to a nearby wall. He touches it, making it transparent and intangible, revealing a hidden warp pipe (DEUS EX MACHINA!).
Ghoulman: HERE. TO. TOP. YOU. WILL. BE.
Waluigi: Wow. Thanks, Ghoulman!
DK: Will we ever see you again?
Ghoulman: MAYBE. OR. NOT.
Waluigi: Well, alright. See you around!
And at last, their battle fought, the Wild Ones venture forth into the warp pipe to appear on top.
DK: And what do ya know? No random inter-
-takes 26 dge exactly, KO'ing him!
BB: …
The Big Boo is defeated!
END BATTLE 2!
Yoshi: With that done, I say we find Mario and CC and get the hell out of here.
Gary: I agree!
The duo walks off-
BB: NO!
The Big Boo rises!
BB: I WILL NOT LET YOU ESCAPE!
The Big Boo swallows up Yoshi and Gary! He then drags them beneath the surface of the roof! What does this mean?
Yoshi: Hopefully no more interrupt-
-sets his blade ablaze for 7 SP! Mario uses 7 SP! He surrounds himself with four fireballs as CC jumps high in the air! CC then comes spiraling down and hits Cackletta's Left Arm for 37 dge! Mario throws a fireball at the Arm for an additional 35 dge, igniting CC and causing him to jump in the air again! The process is repeated on Fawful, Cackletta's Head, and Cackletta's Right Arm for 39+34, 26+28, and 34+36 dge respectively!
Cackletta: GAAAAAH! IT BURNSsss!
Fawful: THE PAIN I FEEL IS LIKE THE PINCHING PAIN OF A FLAMING ANGRY CRAB SET ABLAZE BY VOLCANIC ACTIVITIES OF SUPREME INFERNO OF BADNESS!
Mario: The Blazing Driller!
CC: Eat that, Cackletta and Fawful!
Cackletta: *gasps* That pain was terrible! But it only strengthens my resolve to destroy you!
Cackletta fires lasers from her eyes! Mario and CC take 14 dge each! Fawful uses Chuckle Retort of Violent Catastrophic Cataclysms of Terrifying Madman for 3 SP! He laughs off the damage, recovering 27 HP and gaining +5 dge to all his attacks!
Fawful: FEEL THE WRATH OF A THOUSAND WRATHS PUT INTO ONE THAT IS MINE! FOR I! HAVE! FURY!
The Scarlet Duo!
Mario: 17 HP, 30 SP
CC: 20 HP, 25 SP
The Beanish Ones!
Cackletta: 200 HP, 100 SP (protected)
C's Right Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)
C's Left Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)
C's Head: 46 HP, 0 SP
Fawful: 89 HP, 17 SP (+5 DGE!)
The epic rematch of Mario and Cackletta (with CC and Fawful on the side) continues to dominate the chapter title, entering a new realm of undiscovered tactics: the Combo Attacks! Utilizing the unique characteristics of their comrades, our heroes combine their abilities to create ultra-powerful new moves of super secret special awesomeness of spectacular proportions!
….yes, well, anyway…
Our heroes are-
Mario: We already know!
…fine.
Mario: We're in some serious trouble.
CC: Yeah, they know that.
Cackletta: There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop us!
Fawful: Such an attempt to be stopping us is like attempting to plant one's roots into the earth beneath and halt an oncoming speeding truck of death like a finkrat!
Everyone:…what?
Fawful: We will be crushing you like hammers of badness smashing you nails of dumbness into doors of pain!
Everyone:…
Mario: What?
CC: I think he was trying to say, "I'm going to make you dead as a doornail".
Cackletta: Oh please. That wasn't even close.
Fawful: Why is their no understanding of me?
?: Well, as they say, what goes one way in circles-
REINFORCEMENTS ARRIVE! FOR THE HEROES!
Yoshi: -goes the other way in circles!
Fawful: *gasp* FINKRATS!
Cackletta: Hey! How come they get reinforcements? WHERE'S MY EVIL ORGANIZATION THAT SHOULD BE BEHIND ME?
?: Never fear!
MR. L AND BROBOT MLX APPEAR!
Mr. L: The cavalry is here!
Waluigi: Oh great, just in time for Anti-Greenie and his Shiny Tin Can to show up.
Mr. L: I'll pretend to be offended in a minute, peasant.
?: Cock-a-mother-f***ing-dooooo!
KRILLEN VON ROOSTENHEIMER JOINS THE FIGHT!
KR: Allo, ol' chaps! Fancy a spot of tea?
Mario: um…no but thanks?
KR: Oh, yes, quite alright then. In that case, one lump?
Krillen brings out his cane and presses a secret button, transforming it into an enormous club!
KR: -or two?
Yoshi: FML.
The Good!
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP
CC: 20 HP, 25 SP
Waluigi: 50 HP, 40 SP
DK: 60 HP, 40 SP
Mario: 17 HP, 30 SP
Gary: 45 HP, 45 SP
The Bad!
Cackletta: 200 HP, 100 SP (protected)
C's Right Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)
C's Left Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)
C's Head: 46 HP, 0 SP
Fawful: 89 HP, 17 SP (+5 DGE!)
Mr. L: 200 HP, 0 SP
BMLX: 200 HP, 50 SP
KR: 175 HP, 45 SP
IT'S A BATTLE ROYALE! And with everybody here, we've-
Yoshi: Wait a minute, where's Lucky?
?: I'm sorry, I'm not feeling very "Lucky" today.
A darkened version of Lucky appears! Think of Anti-fairies and stuff…
Unlucky: I'm feeling "Unlucky" at the moment! Hahahahahahahaha!
Yoshi:…oh great, new villain cued in by bad pun.
Unlucky: Hey, I worked hard on that intro!
Yoshi: If five minutes has become a long enough time to create an intro, I suppose you worked hard on it. Sorry thing is it sounds more like two.
Unlucky: Grambi, you are a-
Yoshi: Seconds.
Unlucky:…damn you to whatever Hell is closest.
The Good!
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP
CC: 20 HP, 25 SP
Waluigi: 50 HP, 40 SP
DK: 60 HP, 40 SP
Mario: 17 HP, 30 SP
Gary: 45 HP, 45 SP
The Bad!
Cackletta: 200 HP, 100 SP (protected)
C's Right Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)
C's Left Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)
C's Head: 46 HP, 0 SP
Fawful: 89 HP, 17 SP (+5 DGE!)
Mr. L: 200 HP, 0 SP
BMLX: 200 HP, 50 SP
KR: 175 HP, 45 SP
The Ugly
Unlucky: 150 HP, 50 SP
Unlucky: HEY!
Mr. L: Well, well. Lookit what we got. It's a Mexican Standoff. Only we ain't got no Mexicans!
Yoshi: So what're you here for, Unlucky?
Unlucky: I'm here because I'm evil! And not ugly!
Yoshi: There was very little answering of the question.
Unlucky: I'm Anti-Lucky! What more could you ask for?
Waluigi: Motive.
Mario: Alibi.
CC: WITNESSES!
Unlucky: Since when did this become a trial?
Mr. L: Since everyone decided to totally ignore my epic quote! Why must I be so ignored?
KR: Now you know how it feels being me! Only worse, because nobody really knows it's me!
Unlucky: Look, the whole reason I'm here is because of some author-related plot device to sway readers into continuing to read this story! Unlike his other one where he completely loses the fanbase interest because nobody decided to post.
Aroramage: I'M GIVING THEM TIME!
Unlucky: In any case, I'm an Anti-Lucky, as I've said before. Think of me more as an alter-ego of sorts, like Wario to Mario and Waluigi to Luigi.
Waluigi: Dude's gotta point.
Yoshi: Still no motive.
Unlucky: Alright, you want a motive? Fine! The Power Stars are MY motive!
Yoshi: Naturally.
Unlucky: And I'm collecting them so that I can free my brethren from the nether regions of the Antiverse!
Yoshi: Right, sure, ultimate power and…wait, what?
Unlucky: The Antiverse! A universe completely compromised of Anti-this and Anti-that, including Anti-this-and-that!
Yoshi:…you've lost me.
Unlucky: You'll find me a fine addition to the ranks of EVIL!
Mr. L: I'm so ignored!
KR: Oh, quit whining, you tosser!
Unlucky: And there will be nothing for you all to stop me in my quest to unleash the Antis! Mwahahahahahaha!
Yoshi: So wait, what happened to Lucky?
?: I'm right here, laddies!
Lucky appears out of nowhere! As if he was invisible this whole time or something!
Yoshi: And just where have you been?
Lucky: Where do ya think, laddie? I've been scowering the building for Luigi!
Mario: Oh right, my bro who is trapped in here and who we came to save in the first place. I totally forgot about him.
?: Well, that's-a disappointing!
Luigi appears.
Luigi:…
Heroes:…
Villains:…
Ugly Anti People:…HEY!
Luigi: What, no hello? No how are you? No exclamation point? No what's it like being trapped by Boos? No where've you been and how did Mr. L come into existence and was it cause of you?
Mario: Hey bro.
Luigi: Yeah, hi! What about me? WHAT ABOUT POOR GODDAMN LUIGI?
Mr. L: You really are a terrible counterpart to me.
Luigi: YOU GO TO UNDERWHERE!
Mario: Hell's more threatening.
Luigi: YOU GO TO HELL!
KR: Ah, poor Luigi. Always the sidekick, never the hero. Although more side than kick even. HA!
Cackletta: You sure are a terrible shade of green today! Is that a new color? No? It's the same ol' ragged clothes you wear all the time? HA!
Unlucky: Even I'm a cooler counterpart than you, Luigi!
Luigi: Um, Mr. L's MY counterpart.
Unlucky: OR IS HE? HA!
Mr. L: Actually, yeah, he's right.
Unlucky: Dammit!
Fawful: You green pasty finkrat! You're mother's a whiny lima bean of sadness when she looks in the mirror and realizes she has a mustache of ugliness on the upper lip of her nonsense-maker! Oh wait, YOU'RE MOTHER IS YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Cackletta: Ouch.
KR: Well that WAS harsh.
Mario: Hey! That's-a my momma you talkin' about!
Fawful: DOUBLE STRIKE!
(if you guys need music, look up Naruto Soundtrack Strong and Strike)
Luigi: *cap over eyes* You take away my freedom. You mock me at every turn. You even make fun of my mother. But when you-a start talking smack about my color…*dramatic look up with fire in his eyes*…YOU MUST DIE!
Luigi charges at his brother!
Mario: Whoa, hey man, I didn't make fun of your color, man!
Luigi jumps over Mario!
Mario: *phew*
And heads toward DK!
DK: Whoa, hey, what's your beef with lovable ol me?
Luigi jumps over DK!
DK: *phew*
And jumps into the backpack on DK's back!
DK: Wait, I still have this thing?
Luigi dives in and resurfaces with all 25 Power Stars!
Mario: Luigi, no! You don't know what that could do to you!
Luigi: You and I both know what they'll do to me! AND I WILL CRUSH THEM ALL! LEAVE ME TO MY VENGEANCE!
Mario: Luigi, no!
Luigi: POWER STARS, LEND ME YOUR COSMIC POWER!
Luigi floats in the air as the Power Stars circle him! They then infuse themselves with Luigi!
Mario: Damn.
DK: Damn.
Yoshi: Damn.
CC: Damn.
Waluigi: Damn.
Lucky: Damn.
Gary: Damn.
Cackletta: Damn.
Mr. L: Damn.
Unlucky: Damn.
Brobot MLX: ERROR-ERROR.
Fawful: FINK-RAT!
Luigi is infused with Star Power! He has become Super-Star Luigi!
Mario:…you know, guys, I think we can leave this to him.
Heroes: WHAT?
Mario: He's my bro, my flesh and blood. He'll win this.
Yoshi:…gotcha.
Waluigi: And he's the guy I'm based off of. I'm awesome, but he's more awesome!
CC: I can agree to this.
Lucky: Best o' luck wit him.
Gary: If you guys can believe in someone like me, I can believe all the more in someone like Luigi! (although I suddenly recall that one time…)
DK: You da man, Luigi!
The rest of the heroes head for a safe clearing!
Luigi: *to self* Thanks, bro. *To villains* Alright, fellas, LET'S BRING ON THE PAIN!
(Superstar Fighting Evil: Bowser Battle from M&L2 or Final Boss Music from M&L Superstar Saga)
BATTLE 4-B RE-START!
The Epic!
Super-Star Luigi (SSL!): 50 HP, 35 SP
The Villainous Army!
Cackletta: 200 HP, 100 SP (protected)
C's Right Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)
C's Left Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)
C's Head: 46 HP, 0 SP
Fawful: 89 HP, 17 SP (+5 DGE!)
Mr. L: 200 HP, 0 SP
BMLX: 200 HP, 50 SP
KR: 175 HP, 45 SP
The Other Guy
Unlucky: 150 HP, 50 SP
Unlucky: Hey!
SSL attacks Cackletta's Head! He charges in on it shining with brilliant light!
Cackletta: ACK!
SSL smashes through Cackletta's Head! It's an instant-KO to the Head! Cackletta's Heart is exposed!
CH: PANIC ATTACK!
Cackletta's heart beats rapidly and brings back her head and arms! Fawful attacks SSL!
Fawful: FEEL THE WRA-
SSL counters with a Superstar PUNCH! Fawful is instantly defeated!
Fawful: OWIE GOES THE PAIN OF SUPER-POWERED FINKRAT!
Fawful is reabsorbed into Cackletta, boosting her power! Mr. L draws out his rapier!
Mr. L: L-Rapier strike!
Mr. L slashes at SSL with L-Rapier!
Mr. L: Fear me now!
-which SSL grabs!
Mr. L: o_o
SSL: Better you fear me.
SSL breaks L-Rapier!
Mr. L: NOOOOO! MY SWORD!
SSL superstar-PUNCHes Mr. L, which he narrowly blocks! The force of the punch throws him against the wall, causing 50 dge!
Mr. L: Damn!
BMLX: CALCULATING BEST PROCEDURE.
Brobot MLX is contemplating! Krillen strikes with his club!
KR: I will do what any generic and stupid villain would do and strike you with all my might even though it is futile!
SSL breaks the club!
KR: NOOOOO! MY MULTI-PURPOSE CLUB-CANE!
SSL superstar-PUNCHes Krillen in the stomach!
KR: *DBZ gasp when punched in stomach*
SSL then grabs Krillen's leg and proceeds to spin in a circle!
KR: !
SSL throws Krillen at the wall!
KR: BAH-GOOOOOOOOOOO-*hits wall*
Krillen takes CRITICAL 164 dge!
Unlucky: Let's see you do something about THIS, Star-boy!
Unlucky throws Magic Powder at SSL! SSL breathes in and blows out as a counter! Unlucky inhales the powder!
Unlucky: HA! I'm an unlucky person already, but the more misfortune I have, the stronger I get!
Unlucky gains a power boost from the powder!
The Epic!
Super-Star Luigi (SSL!): 50 HP, 35 SP
The Villainous Army!
Cackletta: 200 HP, 100 SP (exposed!) (power boosted!)
C's Right Arm: 50 HP, 0 SP
C's Left Arm: 50 HP, 0 SP
C's Head: 100 HP, 0 SP
Mr. L: 150 HP, 0 SP
BMLX: 200 HP, 50 SP (thinking)
KR: 11 HP, 45 SP (DANGER!)
The Other Guy
Unlucky: 150 HP, 50 SP (power boosted!)
(Epic Winning Music: Knight of the Wind)
SSL: Time to finish you off!
Cackletta: NO! I WON'T LET YOU!
SSL charges at Cackletta! Cackletta attempts to destroy SSL! She flicks him off and sends fire after him! SSL dodges it completely! Cackletta flicks him off with the other hand and sends an electric orb after him! SSL punches through it! Cackletta then sends out a Fawful ghost!
Fawful: FEEL THE RENEWED WRA-
SSL punches through it again! Cackletta sets her sights on SSL and freezes time! She fires lasers at SSL with direct contact! An explosion occurs!
Cackletta: Ha! That will stop you!
Through the smoke, SSL appears unscathed!
Cackletta: WHAT?
SSL punches through Cackletta's Heart! He dramatically holds his fist out in front of him as he kneels on the other side of Cackletta!
Cackletta: *DBZ gasp when innards are torn apart*
Cackletta falls through the floor as SSL stands!
SSL: Who else wants some of this?
KR: I'm in too much pain to battle! I MUST FLEE!
Unlucky:…um, yeah, I'm with him. I'm stronger, but I'm still an f-ing coward.
Krillen and Unlucky flee the scene!
Mr. L: Come, Brobot! I don't think we can handle this much power.
BMLX: NEGATIVE.
Mr. L: What? What are you saying?
BMLX: MUST STAY, MUST FIGHT, MUST NOT GIVE UP.
Mr. L: Brobot, it's hopeless! We've lost this round! Don't be a fool!
BMLX: I WILL DEFEAT HIM. MUST DESTROY OPPOSITION!
Mr. L: I knew I shouldn't have programmed that resistance-overload device into his cerebral interface.
The Epic!
Super-Star Luigi (SSL!): 50 HP, 35 SP
The Villainous Duo!
Mr. L: 150 HP, 0 SP (crestfallen)
BMLX: 200 HP, 50 SP (prepared)
SSL: Bro, lend me your strength!
Mario appears beside SSL!
Mario: Let me assist you!
SSL: I wouldn't have it any other way!
SSL gives up some power to Mario! Mario absorbs Star Power! He becomes powered with Superstar-ness! He becomes Super-Star Mario!
Mr. L: Well, we're totally f'ed.
BMLX: NOT YET.
Brobot MLX divides himself into two complete bodies! One resembles Luigi while the other resembles Mario!
Mr. L: Huh. Actually forgot about that function.
BMX: LEAVE NOW.
Mr. L: What?
BLX: WE'LL HANDLE THEM!
Mr. L: No! What if you survive? I might be able to salvage you!
BMX: WON'T SURVIVE IF THAT HAPPENS. YOU MUST FLEE.
BLX: WE WILL TRY OUR BEST TO DEFEAT THEM. FOR NOW, WE NEED YOU TO SURVIVE BROTHER!
Mr. L: Bro…brother?
BM&LX: YES!
Mr. L: *sniff* Thanks, Brobots! Now give em a fight to remember!
Mr. L flees the scene!
Yoshi: That was actually touching.
Waluigi: I almost feel sorry. If only he wasn't a bad guy.
Yoshi: Waluigi, you're supposed to BE a bad guy!
Waluigi: This is also true. I'm touched and hurt.
Gary: And an identity-confused idiot?
Waluigi: And whatever it was you just said.
The Mario Bros.!
SSM: 45 HP, 40 SP
SSL: 50 HP, 35 SP
The MLX Brobots!
BMX: 100 HP, 25 SP
BLX: 100 HP, 25 SP
(Epic Fighting Music: Fight the Knight)
SSM: Let's do this!
SSL: We'll crush you!
BMX: WILL NOT LOSE!
BLX: WILL NEVER SURRENDER!
Waluigi: Three word phrases!
Heroes:…
Waluigi: What?
SSM attacks BMX as SSL attacks BLX! The fight is incredibly intense! A flurry of exchanging blow for blow takes place between each pair! Now SSL throws BLX towards SSM, who uses BMX to block it! Now SSM throws BLX back at SSL who punches it brutally! THIS FIGHT JUST KEEPS GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND-
Lucky: Hey! We get it! They're fighting right above our heads, don't-cha know?
Waluigi: They're giving it all they've got, Captain!
Finally, the flurries stop and the pairs of brothers stare at each other.
BMX: COMBINE ENERGIES! SUPREME ATTACK!
BLX: SUPREME ATTACK! INITIATE PROTOCOL!
The two Super Brobot Bros. reconfigure their bodies and reshape themselves into a giant laser cannon!
Waluigi: The horror!
SSL: Bro, this calls for a roulette thing!
SSM: Don't worry, we're way ahead of ya!
SMB: LET'S GO!
The Superstar Mario Bros. begin to combine their energies together! It's a charge-off!
?: Grambi damn it all to the Underwhere, what the Cheep-Cheep is going on here?
Suddenly, King Boo appears out of nowhere! (cut the music!)
Lucky: I thought I killed you!
KB: You don't kill ghosts, kid. Ghosts are already dead. Honestly, first you come barging in taking my prisoner, and then you go around with echoing blows all over the place! I CAN HEAR YOU FROM THE CHEEP-CHEEPIN' BASEMENT, FOR CHEEP'S SAKE!
Waluigi: Whatchu talking all funny for, huh?
KB: I ALWAYS TALK IN SOME STUPID FORMAT! Seriously, why do you think I keep saying, "Eyehehehehe!" for crying out loud?
Heroes: o_O
Lucky: I always assumed you talked like that!
KB: OH FOR THE LOVE OF BOO! (restart music)
The Brobots and Mario Bros. are charging their attacks!
SSM: STAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR!
BMX: LASEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!
SSL: POWEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
BLX: CANNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
SMB: BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST!
BBB: FIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE!
THE TWO ATTACKS COLLIDE WITH EXPLOSIVE FORCE! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE! THE WORLD IS ON FIRE!
KB: MY CROWN IS ON FIRE!
Waluigi: No, it's always been burning since the world's been-
KB: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!
THE TWO ATTACKS ARE COLLIDING WITH SUCH POWER AND FEROCITY THAT THE INTENSITY OF THE BATTLE IS BEYOND WHAT WE CAN DESCRIBE HERE IN THIS CAPITALIZED TEXT!
(pause music)
….except for one really long "AAHH", that would do it...
(resume music)
AND SO THE COMBINATION OF ENERGIES – BOTH MAGICAL AND TECHNOLOGICAL – CAUSE AN EXPLOSION THAT WRECKS AND TEARS AND DESTROYS AND OBLITERATES THE ENTIRETY OF BIG BOO'S MANSION!
BB: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I haven't finished paying the rent on that!
AWESOMENESS IS ENSUED! AND NOW FOR SOME DIALOGUE!
BMX: CAN NOT LOSE!
BLX: CANNOT BE DEFEATED!
SSL: HAVE TO WIN!
SSM: WE WON'T LOSE!
SUDDENLY, THE POWER STARS SPIN OFF THE HEROES! THEIR ENERGY BLAST ATTACK IS NULLED!
Luigi: Oh, that could have happened at a better time!
THE BROBOT'S LASER SURGES FORTH, CONSUMING THE MARIO BROTHERS!
Waluigi: NOOOO!
Gary: NOOO!
Lucky: NOOOO!
CC: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
KB: YES!
THE LASER BLASTS THE MARIO BROTHERS! IS THIS THE END? ARE THEY FINALLY DEFEATED?
…ha! Yeah, right!
THE POWER STARS DEFLECT THE ATTACK!
Brobots: …DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.
THE POWER STARS SPIN AROUND THE BROTHERS, CREATING A SPHERE OF STAR ENERGY! THEY CHARGE AT THE BROBOTS!
Brobots: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
THE SPHERE RAMS THROUGH THE BROBOTS, DESTROYING THEM COMPLETELY!
Brobots: -oooooooooo…
The Brobots are destroyed! (end music)
The Mario Bros. come down gently thanks to the Power Stars!
KB: YOU FIENDS! YOU'VE DESTROYED OUR HOME! Now what house are we going to haunt for all eternity?
Luigi: Ugh, fine! I'll let you all back into that one mansion I won in that phony contest!
KB: Oh, that one? Yeah, we actually sold it to someone else.
Luigi: Who's that?
KB: Not sure. Don't really even know his name. Oh well! Doesn't matter now. I suppose I'll just take my fellow Boo brethren and find another Cheep-Cheepin' place to live.
Mario: First things first.
KB: Oh. Right. Here's some Power Stars we had.
KING BOO GIVES THE HEROES 7 POWER STARS, BRINGING THEM UP TO 32 POWER STARS TOTAL!
KB: See you heroes around!
King Boo floats off with several minions following after him.
Mario: Well, I suppose it's time we g-
?: WAIT!
The heroes turn to find: Ghoulman!
Ghoulman: CAN. I. JOIN. YOU. ON. YOUR. QUEST?
Yoshi:…well, we do lack the generic Boo-based character in our party. Why not?
Waluigi: Well...
…
….
….."Impressive. Their usage of the Power Stars continues to astound me…"
…
…
…Mr. L can be seen walking through the remains of Big Boo's Mansion, picking up bits of timber. He moves over a wooden beam and lifts it up. He finds what he is looking for: a metal arm. He puts it in a black sack on his back and continues to scavenge the remains.
Mr. L: Don't worry, Brobot. I will make you stronger. *dramatic upturn of face* And I will make them pay!
(Jun 17, 2009 - Dec 15, 2009)