Well, things are really heating up in the old sewer den, and the fireworks are well underway. Tensions are at a fever-pitch between the boys, and to make matters worse, even Splinter gets involved. Throw in a run-in with some Mafia heavies- led by none other than OT baddie Big Louie- and you've got an EXPLOSIVE situation, LOL! And it ain't even April yet!
Out of the Frying Pan
Between the fight in the lair and dealing with Vernon's vain primping and obnoxious attempts to order me around all day at Channel Six, by the end of the day, I was ready to throw one of Raph's temper tantrums. Or maybe just throw Vernon through a sixth floor window at the station. Either would have worked for me.
I was still confused about the situation with Mikey, though, and so I spent a restless night tossing and turning, bothered by disturbingly sensual dreams. Not that I had any particular aversion to the idea, but I was keenly aware of the difficulties and limitations such a pairing would entail. There was the obvious issue of his physical differences, of course, but more than that, even the lifestyle the brothers had led made things difficult. They had little experience with the outside world, with most of their interactions with humans coming either in the form of shadowy rescues of innocent civilians, fights with criminals and thugs, or both. That was certainly no basis for a stable and lasting relationship.
On top of everything else, tensions rose every time I went down for practice now. Just being in the same room with four hormonally-charged boys whose wild mood swings and aggressive behavior were becoming dangerous was almost more than I could deal with. Splinter did his best to steer them toward productive outlets for the frustration they clearly felt. I felt partly to blame, since I was fairly certain that having me around didn't help matters any. Mikey especially seemed to have become a nervous wreck whenever I went down for my lessons. He had begun avoiding me, keeping his distance and partnering with Raph or Leo constantly, or simply sitting out until one of them was free. I had the feeling it wasn't because he wanted to, but because he was afraid to get too close. I also suspected that Splinter or Leo had something to do with it.
Donatello seemed to be the only one who wasn't constantly on edge, his calm demeanor a blessing in the sea of raging teen hormones. If he was bothered by my presence, it didn't show; I was beginning to wonder if he even had a libido, or if he was repressed emotionally. For that matter, I'd never even heard him express any interest in females at all. Whatever the reason, he seemed to be the only one I could spend time with outside the dojo without feeling like I was dangling a steak in front of a hungry tiger. Naturally, I found myself spending most of my time in the lair chatting with him in his workshop while he tinkered on various projects, helping out with minor tasks, and engaging in lively discussions on everything from astrophysics to cultural psychology.
The closer I got to Donnie, the more I started to notice dark looks from Mikey aimed at his genius sibling. Apparently, he was not immune to feelings of jealousy. Not that he had reason to be, of course- I knew Donnie would never try to horn in on his baby brother's territory. But Mikey didn't seem to accept that, and his hostility with all three of the others seemed to have formed a rift that was growing wider by the day.
One morning less than a week after my chat with April and Irma, the lair once again exploded into a fight- only this time it was all four of them. I'd overslept a bit and was late coming into the morning session, so I still don't know what precipitated the fight, but I can guess. What I walked into was a scene out of every kung-fu movie I'd ever seen. Mikey was facing off against all three of his siblings, and if looks could kill, they would have been in dire straits indeed.
"It's not enough for THOSE two to keep buttin' in where it's none of their business, but now you TOO, Donnie?! Et tu, Brutus?!" He growled, pointing at Don accusingly. "I thought you were on MY side! Traitor!"
"It's not LIKE that, Mikey! I'm not trying to steal anything from you!" Don's indignant reply echoed through the lair as I came into the living room. As much as I hated to eavesdrop on what was obviously a heated family argument, curiosity won out, and I crept closer, peeking into the training room cautiously.
"Hey, Earth to Mikey- NOBODY is after your girl! For that matter, YOU shouldn't be chasin' skirts, neither!" Raph shouted, tossing his sais down and stepping up to poke Mikey in the chest. "Do I haf'ta hand ya' a mirror to remind ya' of WHY that's a bad idea?!"
"Get outta' my face, bro," Mikey growled warningly. "Who're YOU to tell me what I shouldn't do? You think just 'cause you're older you can order me around? HUH?!" He shoved Raph back, then rounded on Donnie. "And don't give me that crap! I've SEEN how much time you've been spendin' with her, laughin' and talkin' all the time. You think I don't know what you're doin'?!"
Turning his back on Raphael was the wrong thing to do. Raph grabbed him by the arm and spun him back around, his fist coming up to connect with his brother's beak in a right hook that left me cringing. That was all it took. Before I could even grasp what had happened, they were tearing into each other; Don tried to pull Mikey off of his read-banded brother, only to get clobbered himself as Mikey lashed out at him, too. When Leo tried to step in, he got a roundhouse kick to his head from Mikey that sent him reeling back in shock.
"Stay outta' this, Leo!" He snarled, his tone challenging the eldest brother's authority. "WHY are you all AGAINST me?!" He shouted, as he ducked a punch from Raph and knocked Donnie down with a leg-sweep.
Leo shook his head, then his eyes went steely, narrowing to slits as he waded back into the fray. "Alright, THAT'S ENOUGH! I'm getting really tired of your attitude, Michelangelo! You wanna' screw up your life? Fine, but DON'T expect us to feel sorry for you when it blows up in your face!" He grabbed the youngest by his arm and heaved him into a practice dummy; Mikey crashed into it and sat up slowly, looking dazed. Then he shot back up and barreled into Leo like a freight train. They hit the wall with a thud, Leo taking the brunt of the impact on his shell. Raph wrapped his arms around his orange-clad sibling and hauled him backward, lifting Mikey off his feet. That proved to be a mistake, as Mikey proved when he shoved an elbow back into Raph's face. The bigger turtle grunted, and let go, growling angrily. Donnie tried to yank him down by his feet, but got kicked in the face for his trouble.
I sighed, knowing better than to get in the middle of THAT mess. Even if I tried, they'd never listen to reason in their present state. I could try to subdue them, of course- for all the good it would do- but then they'd just be right back at each others' throats again later. In any case, I knew there was no chance of stopping them- they obviously needed to work this out themselves. Between Mikey's misplaced jealousy of Don and the over-protective interference from Leo and Raph, I was utterly disgusted with all of them. And there were two more months of this to go….
I shook my head and slipped off into the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee. I sat for a few minutes listening to the ruckus coming from the training room- a loud cracking sound indicated someone's shell had connected with a brick wall, followed by a grunt of pain as either a foot or fist struck somebody's jaw. Then came the smacking sound of an arm blocking a strike, probably from a hand-chop. A thud told me of someone hitting the floor, followed by a fast flurry of strikes; a weapon rack toppled over and sent its contents clattering all over the floor- my mental inventory of what was going on in the dojo continued, the carnage having escalated into a free-for-all.
Eventually the din brought a shout from the back of the lair that made my hair stand on end. "BOYS! What is the meaning of this?!" I jumped up and dashed into the living room, just in time to intercept Splinter as he came rushing in from the bedroom area. His beady eyes blazed with paternal fury.
"Uh, Sensei, are you sure you want to go in there? They've all gone insane!" I asked, worried for his safety. I was afraid of what might happen if he should walk into Hurricane Hamato raging in the next room. He'd have been safer walking into a platoon of Foot robots unarmed and blindfolded, or so I thought. I should have known better.
"Remain out here- I will deal with my sons." He growled determinedly, and stalked confidently into the training room, walking stick gripped in one hand as if ready for battle. Something in his stance and tone suggested it would be a very one-sided fight, in spite of his age.
"That is ENOUGH, my sons! You will stop this nonsense NOW!" He barked out above the noise of kicks, grunts, roars, punches, and training equipment crashing to the floor, as he rapped the end of his walking stick against the floor loudly. His command apparently went unheard- either that, or they were simply too enraged to register the order.
I peered through the door in time to see Raphael slam a tonfa into Mikey's shoulder, while the youngest of the snarling boys was occupied grabbing Donnie's leg as he attempted a roundhouse kick. Mikey heaved his brainy sibling up and over his head, throwing him into Raph. The pair went crashing to the ground with startled yelps, landing in a pile of limbs and shells. Leo, meanwhile, waited until his brother was preoccupied with the other two. He ducked down low and swept the prankster's feet out from under him, knocking him onto his back; then he rabbit kicked Mikey across the floor to slide head-first into the wall. He rolled away with a groan, shaking his head before rushing back in to kick Raph's punching bag into his leader's face. Leo staggered back, his nose bloodied, and hissed at his brother in fury.
"Did you not hear me?! I said ENOUGH!" Splinter exploded into action with a blinding speed I'd not known he possessed. He leapt up and flew at Leo, striking out with a snap-kick that sent the eldest crashing into the corner with a heavy thud. Leo groaned, but didn't get up. Splinter had barely landed when he rushed at Mikey, who had just tackled both his other siblings at once, kicking out at Don while he snapped his palm up into Raph's throat, knocking the breath out of the biggest turtle. Raph doubled over wheezing, and Donnie landed on his back, as the sparring pole teetered before falling on top of him. Mikey stepped into a defensive stance, glaring around wildly at the others- then caught the flash of movement as Splinter flipped up and over his head, his hand striking out like a snake at his youngest son's neck. Mikey was caught by surprise, and went down like a rag doll, eyes rolling back in his head as he was rendered unconscious by the jab at a vulnerable pressure point.
The others all groaned, slowly getting up, Raph still sputtering as he tried to catch his breath. "Man, what crawled up HIS butt?!" He muttered, glaring over at the crumpled heap of Mikey passed out on the floor. Leo rose unsteadily, then saw the look of stern anger on Splinter's face, and grew pale.
"Father! I- I beg forgiveness, Sensei. I tried to stop this, but I…." His gaze fell, ashamed that he had failed to return order to the family. He moved to stand before Splinter, bowing low with his fists up, clasped one over the other in a gesture of obedience, not daring to look up into his father's stern gaze.
"Suck up," muttered Raphael sourly. Leo shot him a dark glare with his teeth bared, a silent warning to his brother.
"Raphael!" Splinter barked warningly. His hot-headed son lowered his head obediently, looking chagrined.
Donatello's gaze flicked from one to the other, and back to their furious sensei, and sighed. He finally moved over to bend down and nudge Mikey, who moaned softly as he slowly sat up, blinking in confusion. "Get up, little bro. Your little temper tantrum just got us all in deep poo. Thanks a HEAP." He said in a disgusted tone.
Michelangelo looked up and saw Splinter's harsh stare aimed at them, and shrunk down in remorse. "Sorry, Sensei. Guess this means we're in big trouble, right?" He asked, only to receive glares from the other three.
Splinter nodded and bared his teeth angrily, his tail waving in agitation as he rapped his impertinent son on the head with his cane. "That is correct, Michelangelo. I am MOST disappointed in all of you. You are all forbidden from leaving our home until further notice. Instead, you will spend your time in training, meditation, and doing chores. In addition, there will be NO games and no television for a week. Perhaps this will teach you to behave in a more civilized manner. Now, I suggest you all begin by meditating on the meaning of discipline and self-control. That is an ORDER." His tone and expression warned that he would tolerate no disobedience or back-talk. Without another word, he turned and left the dojo, hobbling into the kitchen for his morning cup of tea.
"Way to go, jerk face," Raph muttered sourly after Splinter had left. "This is all YOUR fault. Ya' just HAD to throw a hissy-fit, didn't ya'?"
"MY fault?! YOU started it!" Mikey growled back, stepping up until he and Raph were nose to nose. "And consider that shot to the throat paybacks for last time, dude." He shot his sibling a cocky smirk, as if daring him to continue the war of words.
"Guys-" Donnie hissed, getting annoyed. "You want Splinter to come back in here? Just drop it, okay?"
"He's right," Leo added in his "I'm in charge" tone. "This ends NOW. Because if I have to step in again, neither of you is going to be getting up for a while when I'm done."
"Shut up, Fearless. This ain't about you, and I'd like to see ya' try!" Raph snapped back, his voice dropping into a deep growl. He glared defiantly at the leader, as if daring him to follow through on his threat. Leo looked as if about to comply, when I decided I'd had it with all of them.
"Okay, I've heard enough of this macho bullshit." I stepped into the room, shaking my head. Four heads swiveled to look my way with surprised expressions. "Can't you guys just do as you're told for once without arguing and playing the 'my dick's bigger than yours' game? Honestly, this is just ridiculous. What are you guys- five? I've seen kids in elementary school more mature than you four." I said, exasperated.
All four stared at me, stunned for a moment, then glanced around at each other in uneasy silence. They had no response to the accusation, so they finally shuffled over to the meditation mats, and sat down, closing their eyes to obey Splinter's orders. I sighed and sat down to join them, wondering if my sanity would survive another two months of this. Somehow, I doubted it.
I wondered how long the grounding would last, given the restless and rebellious nature of my four "brothers". I wasn't especially concerned about Leo- I knew he would never disobey a direct order from our Sensei without a VERY good reason. The others, though? Not so much. Raph was the one to watch, of course, with his constant need to exert his independence and his habit of sneaking off alone. Sometimes I wonder why he feels the need to challenge Leo all the time. They argue and fight so much, one might think they hated each other. And then there was the ill-kept secret of his activities as the so-called "Nightwatcher", an armored vigilante persona he sometimes used when out on patrols with Casey. Together, they made a very intimidating pair that had scared the daylights out of more than a few petty crooks.
Donatello hardly needed any supervision, since he mostly kept to himself and occupied himself in his workshop when not practicing, meditating, or helping clean up as Splinter had ordered. He seemed content to stay out of the way of his more belligerent siblings, keeping himself busy with various projects to direct his pent-up energy into something productive.
Mikey, on the other hand, was growing more restless and fidgety as boredom from the enforced confinement took its toll on him. With few distractions available, after only two days, he seemed ready to snap. Leo had suggested he read some of his comics, but even that diversion soon palled, and he instead took to scribbling furiously in his sketchbook. Unable to even go out with his board to skate the sewer tunnels, his only other outlet seemed to be pulling pranks on his brothers at every opportunity. The sofa seemed to have sprouted a permanent Bronx cheer from his whoopee cushion finding its way under the thread-bare seats, and I arrived the second morning after their grounding to hear Raph threatening to turn him inside out if his bed was short-sheeted again. Rubber snakes in Leo's room- which was how I learned our "Fearless" was actually phobic of snakes- tripping the breaker to Don's lab at inopportune moments, or turning off the water heater so their showers ran ice-cold; it seemed nothing was beneath his devious mind to try. He even went so far as to switch the salt and sugar canisters, so that when the others made coffee, they ended up with a salty mess that was undrinkable. Naturally, none of them seemed to think it was funny. And so it went.
By the third day, even I was getting tired of his juvenile antics. I was almost thankful when April called that evening to inform the boys that Casey had heard word on the street of an impending rendezvous involving Big Louie, one of the city's Mob kingpins. Leo argued against getting involved at first, citing Splinter's strict orders not to leave the lair. Raphael, of course, refused to take no for an answer, and said he'd go by himself if he had to. Having no such restrictions, I offered to go with him, and he nodded and clapped me on the back.
"Atta-girl! Let's go kick some butt, sis!" He said with a wicked grin, prompting Mikey to volunteer as well, to no one's surprise. Leo tried to protest, reminding them of their grounding, but Raph just gave him a cool smirk and told him he could stay behind and play the good little son if he wanted, but he and Mikey needed to get OUT. And then Mikey tossed him a sly grin and said maybe he should go along to keep an eye on them- just to make sure they didn't get into any trouble. Donnie sent his little brother a narrow stare, evidently sensing that he was pushing Leo's protective leader button, but he said nothing.
In the end, Leo capitulated and agreed that if we were intent on risking our necks against Splinter's orders, then we might as well go all or nothing, and it was settled. Donatello muttered something about being in hot water when this was over, but he didn't argue. In truth, I think he was as anxious to go topside and stretch his legs as the rest of us. Mikey and Raph were especially hyped, having felt cramped for too long underground, with far too little to occupy themselves. After a quick foray into the dojo for our weapons, we high-tailed it to the garage and piled into the van. Within minutes, we were heading for the location Casey had given us- a condemned office building scheduled for demolition the next day.
On the way there, we speculated on what sort of business Big Louie would be conducting in an abandoned seven-story office complex. Donatello thought something sounded off about the entire affair, and Leo agreed, even suggesting that it could be a trap. I thought he was being paranoid, and pointed out that the mob boss had no way of knowing we even knew about the get-together, but Leo was nothing if not careful. Raph was more inclined to believe that some kind of shady deal was about to go down, perhaps a drug trade or arms deal. None of the prospects sounded good.
When we arrived at the place, Leo parked the van around a street corner a block from the location, and ordered a full recon of the area. Sure enough, the outside of the office complex was crawling with Mob goons, all trying far too hard to hide the fact that they were armed. The immediate neighborhood was quiet- perhaps too much so, the street suspiciously empty of anyone but Louie's men, and the lights were out in most of the surrounding buildings. Clearly, something big was up- something that no one wanted to be around for.
We decided to go in from the rooftops, which were likely to be less well-guarded, and used a fire-escape two buildings up from the one we sought to reach our destination. We were fortunate to discover that the lights were on inside on the top floor, and several windows were busted out, giving us clear line-of-sight of what was going down inside. And what we saw was beyond our worst expectations.
Though we couldn't hear what was said, it was clear that Louie was upset with someone- or several someones, as it turned out. I assumed that it was Louie who was standing in front of the row of five men down on their knees with their hands tied, while several of his men stood behind them with guns pointed at their backs. I'd never seen the Mobster, but who else could it have been? The man in the suit and snazzy hat and tie was obviously yelling at the men kneeling before him, and even backhanded one of them when he said something in reply. After a moment, he just looked at them in disgust and turned away with a wave of his hand. I winced as we heard the loud crack of shots being fired- and the five men on the floor fell over dead.
"Leo… They just- those guys just got…. Dude, they EXECUTED those guys!" Mikey sounded horrified, and I glanced over to see a look on his face that made my heart ache. I felt much the same. Raph simply looked angry, and Donnie wore a look of sad resignation. Even Leo appeared momentarily stunned.
"We're not gonna' let those bastards get away with that- ARE we?" Raph asked his brother, turning to glance at Leo. The rest of us looked at him expectantly, and he sighed, and finally shook his head.
"No. We're NOT. I don't know who those guys were, but they didn't deserve that. Those assholes are going down." He rose, and unsheathed his blades with a look of determination on his face. "Raph, you and Don take the left flank. Mikey and Orlene- you're on right. I'll take point. We swing down on my signal. Got it?" We all nodded, and they threw out grapple-lines to the roof of our target. Michelangelo slid an arm around me, since I didn't have one, and gave me a half-hearted smile and wink.
"Heh, me Tarzan, you Jane. Guess we're a couple of real swingers, eh?" He said, trying to sound casual. But I could tell he was upset by the cold-blooded murder of five men. Then Leo yelled "Now!" and we jumped out into the empty air.
I braced myself as we swung across to crash through the broken windows of the top floor with our weapons drawn and ready, right into the midst of Big Louie and his goons. We hit the glass feet first with a noise that would have roused the dead, and landed behind the line of gun-toting enforcers. Raph and Don landed near the opposite end of the large empty room, with Leo dropping down right in front of Louie himself. Without a moment's pause, we struck like vipers, while the surprised mobsters were still stunned from our entrance.
Mikey had let go of me the instant we hit the floor, and I dived low and swept out the chain of my kusari-gama to take the legs out from under the nearest gunman. He held onto his weapon, though, and fired in my direction, cursing in Italian. Fortunately, he was a poor shot from his awkward position on the floor, but it forced me to roll away, giving him time to regain his feet. Raph and Donnie were busy with a pair of gunmen who had been guarding the stairs to the roof, dodging a hail of bullets while they sought an opening. Leo had closed with Louie, his twin katanas cutting through the barrel of the gang leader's gun like butter. He dropped the useless weapon, and pulled out a large knife instead. Now they faced off, the gangster staying just out of reach of Leonardo's deadly blades while two of his thugs fired on our own leader.
The shooting brought three more of Louie's men from the roof, and I started to wonder if we should have hit the roof first instead and taken them down before tackling the main group head-on. I made a mental note to discuss tactics with Leo later- assuming we got out of this. Donnie had disarmed one of his opponents, but one of the new arrivals began to fire at him, keeping my brainy companion from finishing off the first goon. The other two newcomers were keeping Raph occupied, forcing both of them to stay on the defensive.
The rest of the gunmen had divided their attention between Leo, Mikey, and me. This wasn't going as well as I'd hoped, to be sure. I just hoped they would run out of bullets soon; then we could take them down when they stopped to reload. The only drawback to that plan was trying NOT to get hit in the meantime. I whipped my chain out again, this time snapping the gun from the hand of the one I'd tripped before. It clattered and skidded across the hard floor, and he bared his teeth and charged straight at me. Good, I thought- finally something was going our way! At least, I thought so until he reached into his trench coat and drew what I immediately recognized as a tanto, a short-bladed sword similar to the much longer ones Leo used. Great- I HAD to get the one mobster in the room who probably knew martial arts.
Sure enough, he ducked under the swipe I took with the blade of my kusari-gama, and blocked the second swing with his own blade. I swept at his legs again, but he was ready for it this time, and countered with a punch aimed at my head. I leaned aside, and he missed me by an inch. Okay, jack-ass, I thought, if you don't mind hitting a female, then you better hope she doesn't hit back. Too bad for him, I DID. I sliced out with the sickle-blade, and he parried, just as I'd hoped. I leapt up and kicked him in the face; he fell back to the floor, dazed, his nose broken. I finished him off with a second kick to his mid-section that left him curled up around what I guessed must be several cracked ribs. He wouldn't be getting back up for a while.
Meanwhile, Michelangelo was busy playing dodge ball with flying bullets, with himself as the target. He popped his head down into his shell as one whizzed by on a path that would have hit him between the eyes. Clearly, being a mutant turtle had certain advantages. He bounced around like an oversized green pinball, before finally tucking into a roll that sent him right into the legs of two of the goons, knocking them down.
He shot up like a rocket and whirled around to finish one off with a spin-kick, yelling, "Oh, yeah- just picked up a spare! I LOVE bowling for mobsters!" I rolled my eyes, and dived away from a shot that had nearly parted my hair.
"Focus, Mikey!" Leo shouted from the middle of the room, where he was slowly advancing on Louie, in spite of the shots being aimed his way by three of the goons. He didn't even pause to glance our way- he simply issued his warning and continued to move on the main threat.
And then everything went to hell in a hand basket. So far, we'd managed to take down three of the men, but I heard shouts coming from the stairwell leading down into the lower floors, and realized that more goons were on the way up. We were already outgunned and outnumbered- and with all of us spread out, there was no way we could avoid taking casualties if we got cornered by a bunch of gangsters with fresh clips. We needed to even the odds, and FAST.
"Leo, we've got more company coming! What do we do now?!" I called out as I slammed the door to the stairwell and locked it. He didn't even glance my way as he sliced another mobster's gun in half, leaving the hetman to fall back while he pulled a large knife from under his suit jacket. Leonardo just gave him a cocky smirk and shook his head as he slapped it aside with one katana, and used the flat of the other blade to sweep his opponent off his feet. A kick in the ribs finished the job, and the goon groaned in pain as he rolled onto his side.
"You heard the lady- let's finish this FAST! Step it up, guys!" Leo shouted, rallying his brothers. Raph didn't need to be told twice- he grinned wickedly at his opponent, and charged him head-on, heedless of the gun in the man's hand. It went off, but the goon hadn't counted on Raphael's speed, or the fact that he dived low and tackled the man's feet. He slammed the pommel of one sai into the mobster's head, and leapt up to seek a new target. The one he'd hit was lying senseless on the floor.
Louie looked around at the four strange creatures mopping the floor with his men- not to mention one crazed female with a bladed chain- and snarled angrily. "I don't know who you weirdos are, but NOBODY interferes with my business and gets away with it! I'm puttin' ALL of yous on ice!" He drew something out of his pocket, and though I only caught a quick glance, I saw him press a button on a small black object that resembled a remote of some sort. A moment later, I heard soft beeps from all around the room, as blinking red lights came on at the base of each of the support beams on that level. A sudden sense of dread filled me, and my suspicions were confirmed a moment later, when Raph called out worriedly. "Uh, bros- I think he just armed the detonators to blow this place! We got about five minutes to get the Hell outta' here!"
Donatello cursed, dropping down to launch himself into one of the men, knocking him down. A quick jab to the groin ensured he wouldn't be getting up any time soon. He rose and spun his bo in a wide arc at two more, who had just discovered that their guns were empty. They ducked under the swing, but he quickly reversed his attack. He smiled at the pair cheerily, before clocking them both in the throat. They went down gasping, and he kicked their guns across the room. "Didn't anyone teach you jerks it's not nice to point?" He asked cheekily. He hurried over to the nearest charge, and called out anxiously. "Raph's right! These things are all set to go off!"
"Can you disarm them?" Leo called back, as another goon charged at him. He spun aside, slapping the man in the back with both blades as he barreled past, then tackled him from behind, thumping him on the head with the pommels of both swords.
"Not without that remote!" Donnie answered. I saw Louie slinking off behind two of his men, edging his way toward some busted windows on the opposite side- where the fire escape was. Donnie saw him too, and shouted to Leo. "Quick, get him before he gets way! We've GOT to get that remote!"
"On it!" Raph growled, slamming into a goon as he charged after the boss. He threw a sai at Louie, but it only knocked off his hat and pinned it to the wall. Raph leapt over another thug in his way, kicking out behind him to send the gangster sprawling, and continued his pursuit. Unfortunately, Louie had already made it out the window, and was racing down the fire escape, two more goons right behind him to cover their boss.
Just then, the stairwell door flew open, the lock busted by the men from below. I counted seven mobsters on the stairs, all of them fully armed. I swung the blade of my weapon into their midst causing them to fall back a few steps to avoid being sliced, but I knew I couldn't hold them off for long. "Mikey, we've got party-crashers! Give me a hand over here, will you?!" I yelled, pushing them back down the stairs with another swing into the doorway. The last thing we needed now was more distractions.
Mikey dove low, and sped across the floor on his shell, straight for the open door. "Excuse me, coming through!" He yelled, just before he shot into the middle of the group bottlenecked on the stairs. They went tumbling back, and I jumped down after them, though I quickly realized that my weapon would be useless in such close quarters. I decided it was time to switch off, and tucked it into my belt, wrapping the chain loosely around my waist before winding the end around the handle.
Mikey got up from the fallen thugs, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. "Hi, the name's Mike, I'll be your bouncer this evening," He joked, then hopped over the rail to the landing below. "Hey, what do you call a wiener dog on a pizza?" He said, getting their attention as they started to rise. "Give up? Pupperoni!"
I groaned at the bad joke, but it seemed to have the desired effect. All seven of the goons suddenly turned their wrath on my companion, leaving their backs open to me. Unfortunately, this bunch also still had guns, and decided to turn them on Mikey. He seemed to realize his mistake, and let out a high-pitched scream like a little girl before diving down to the next landing to avoid the shots aimed at his head.
"Geez! Don't you guys have a sense of humor?!" He yelled frantically, only to be answered with more shots. "Guess not," he said, poking his head over the side to make a face at the thugs, taunting them. He ducked back below, and hopped down to the fifth floor landing. "Hey, garlic-breath! Sinatra was a HACK!" He called up, prompting several curses.
"Dear, God- is he TRYING to get himself killed?!" I muttered, and kicked out at the one in the back. He stumbled into the others, and the resulting pile-up brought more curses. "Did you forget about me? Let me remind you!" I grinned, knocking them further down the stairs with a second kick. Two of the mob-men turned on me, and I vaulted over the side of the stairs and down to the next level. "I think we got their attention!" I shouted, ducking behind the low side-wall as they opened fire again.
"Gee, what gave you THAT idea?!" Mikey yelled back over the hail of bullets. Then we heard a series of clicks, and I swung over the side and down to join him; he wore a smug grin, glancing up toward the sound of empty clips being tossed aside. "Think they have more bullets?" He asked hopefully. A round of cursing in Italian suggested that they were out. I took that as a good sign- at least until I heard more thugs coming up from below us. "Son of a snapper! Can't we catch a break?" Mikey complained, looking down to see at least five more of Big Louie's boys heading up the stairs toward us.
"Whose bright idea was this, again?" I asked rhetorically, and he let out a groan and sighed.
"That would be Raph. Remind me to kick his shell when we get home!" He said, as he busted open the door leading to the fifth floor.
"Duly noted, and seconded," I replied with a grimace. Trapped in the confines of the stairwell between two groups of angry mobsters was certainly NOT how I wanted to go out. "Heck, I say we take turns. And while we're at it, I'd like to suggest a better head-count next time before we dive in head-first. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that guy brought along his entire gang!"
"Sure looks like it," Mikey agreed, as we backed out into the large empty space that had once held perhaps twenty or so office cubicles, to judge by the number of square-shaped division lines on the floor. We moved further in toward the middle of the open space, seeking more room to maneuver.
Things were not looking good. First we'd been separated from the others during the fight with Big Louie's wise-guys, and now we found ourselves stuck on the fifth floor of the condemned office building, with a dozen armed Mafia enforcers between us and the way out. And to make matters worse, Big Louie had set the detonator's timer to go off in less than five minutes.
"Looks like we better make this a quick fight, 'cause we don't have time to get fancy!" Mikey called back over his shoulder, as I moved to guard his back. I switched from my kusari-gama to the pair of gunsen I kept in the back pocket of my jeans, flipping them out and falling easily into a defensive stance.
"Hey fellas- looky here! This dame thinks she can fight us with her little fans!" One of the mobsters said derisively, as they moved to surround us. The others chuckled their agreement, flicking out switchblades, brass knuckles, and stilettos. One had a tazer out, and another was slapping a police night-stick against the palm of one hand.
"Uh, dude, you shouldn't have SAID that! I would NOT wanna be YOU right now!" Mikey said, grinning wickedly as he started his 'chucks spinning.
"You got THAT right," I said, nodding. I eyed the apparent leader coolly, ready to take him down first, just on principle. The crack about my gunsen had pissed me off. Okay, maybe Raph's temper is starting to rub off on me. I think I need a hobby…..
"I don't know what you ARE, freak, but you're one UGLY-lookin' brute." The guy with the night-stick said, staring at Mikey suspiciously. He was surprisingly unafraid for someone who had just encountered his first mutant terrapin. Maybe he thought my partner was wearing a costume.
"Geez, what's WITH people these days? Are you BLIND, or just freakin' stupid?! That shell ain't just for looks, ya' know!" Mikey suddenly exclaimed in annoyance. I could understand his frustration, even though I didn't see much point in correcting the gangsters. "Say it with me, dude- TUR-TLE. I'M. A. TURTLE. YOU. IDIOT!" He shot forward, lunging at the man with the night-stick with lightening speed. The man staggered back in surprise, bringing his weapon up to swing at Mikey, who nimbly changed direction in mid-step, pivoting and spinning aside to crack one of his nunchaku into the mobster's hand. The goon dropped his stick with a cry of pain, and his expression changed to one of fear as he cradled his now broken hand. Mikey followed up with a second crack from the other one, aimed at his midsection. I heard the distinct sound of ribs cracking, and the man doubled over with a yell.
Mikey spun to face a pair of thugs armed with stilettos. They were huge- over six and a half feet tall apiece, identical in appearance, with fists the size of small hams and more muscles than a seafood buffet. They lunged at him, but he ducked low and dodged between them, snapping his 'chucks out at both at once. They grunted in pain, but kept coming at him. He spun one pair of sticks in front of him to block their next attack; then he swung the other pair in an arc at the one on his right, entangling the big man's blade. He yanked back, pulling it from the thug's grasp. The stiletto fell to the floor, and Mikey kept the first pair of sticks spinning as he jump-kicked out at the man's head. The big guy fell backward with a heavy thud.
The enforcer's partner made another lunge, but he was far too slow for the nimble mutant. He missed, and ended up with Michelangelo's nunchaku whacking into his arm with a crack that indicated the bones had just been broken. He dropped the blade, growling his anger, and my companion pressed the attack and leapt into a spin-kick that knocked the second goon out cold. Mikey was making this look entirely TOO easy, I thought with envy, as I faced off against the goon with the tazer.
The mobster lunged at me, attempting to stun me with his tazer. Instead, I knocked it aside with one weapon, and followed up with a snap kick to his groin. He stumbled back, momentarily forgetting the tazer in his hand as he fell to his knees trying to cover his injured jewels. The result was both predictable and amusing.
"Serves you right, moron," I said as he fell over in uncontrollable spasms. I noted with grim satisfaction that he'd lost control of his bodily functions.
Then I heard a low, threatening mutter from behind me. "You gonna' PAY for that, little girl. Big Louie don't like folks stickin' their noses in his business. Now I'm gonna' make you disappear." It was the one I'd pegged as the leader of this bunch, wielding a pair of butterfly knives that looked wickedly sharp. I glanced over at Mikey out of the corner of my eyes, but he was engaged with a goon swinging at him with brass knuckles, leaving me on my own with the big leader. The head enforcer grinned at me, perhaps thinking he could intimidate me. Maybe if I hadn't already faced down a power-mad psycho named Oruku Saki and lived, it might have worked. As it was, he was out of luck.
"Disappear? You mean like THIS?" I asked, and whipped out an egg bomb, tossing it down between us. It broke open, spilling out its contents in a thick cloud of smoke. He fell back, choking, and I darted around behind a support pillar to flank him. He looked around as he backed out of the smoke cloud, his dark eyes narrowed in anger.
"You think you're clever, don't ya', little girl? I'm gonna' teach ya' a lesson you won't NEVER forget!" He promised, scanning the area for me. I peeked around the pillar, and smiled. He was looking the other way; I wasn't going to give him the chance to carry out his threat.
I leapt out from the cover with a flying kick aimed at his middle, the sound of my yell startling the mobster. He half-turned to face me, only to see my fans slicing across at his arms. He raised his blades to block the razor-edged weapons as my foot connected with his side. He went sliding across the bare concrete floor, caught off guard by the attack. But it didn't last long; he was up and rushing at me in an instant, slashing out with his butterfly knives. I held the fans up as shields, blocking the blows, then flipped them sideways to slash at his front. He jerked back out of reach, and for the first time, he got a close look at my weapons. His eyes widened as he seemed to realize that they were more deadly than he had believed.
"What were you saying, again? YOU'RE the one who needs a lesson, pal!" I taunted, my left fan up to parry his blades while the right sliced close enough to sever his tie. He let out a curse in Italian, which I was pretty sure was some kind of reference to my parentage. I bared my teeth at him, and ducked under his next attack, before rolling aside and rising to deliver a spin-kick to the back of his head. He stumbled forward, and I kicked out again to send him face-first into the pillar. He groaned, spitting out blood, and slashed out wildly with the knives. I snapped my fans shut on them and twisted, yanking the blades from his hands. He snarled out another curse, but decided he'd had enough, and turned tail.
"This ain't over, bitch! You an' that green freak are gonna' regret stickin' your noses in Big Louie's business!" He snarled as he made his retreat. "Boys, let's leave these two for the clean-up crew!" He yelled over at his companions, and pulled something from a coat pocket. He and the other mobsters pulled back, picking up their fallen comrades as they went. When they had retreated to the door, he pressed down on the object in his hand, and tossed it toward us. Mikey's eyes widened, as he made a dive to shove me out of the way of what I belatedly realized was some sort of explosive. It bounced once- and then went off.
The resulting blast was relatively small, but powerful enough to knock the support pillars out. Mikey and I were just at the edge of the blast, but we were never-the-less hit by flying debris from the pillars. Without them, the ceiling groaned and shuddered for a moment, and then came tumbling down around us. I screamed as the floor above us came crashing down, and he grabbed me and shoved me down to the floor on my knees; he curled himself around me in a half-crouch with his shell acting as a shield against the falling rubble. It felt like the world was coming to an end, and I clasped at my green-skinned protector anxiously, until it was over. When the last tremors had passed and the dust cleared, we were half-buried under a mound of plaster, wood, reinforcement bars, and shattered cinder blocks.
"Well, THAT could have gone better," Mikey muttered, coughing as he struggled to rise from under the pile of rubble. I looked up at him, covered in grey dust and slivers of wood, and noticed a gash across his forehead just above the left brow ridge. He shook himself, dislodging a couple of busted two-by-fours and a chunk of the nearest wall that had fallen in.
"Ugh, you can say THAT again," I agreed, as he slowly stood and pulled me up with him.
"Well, THAT could have gone better," he repeated, in an attempt at humor. I cuffed him across the arm with a glare.
"Not funny. Those jerks got away!" I fumed. "This is JUST peachy. We're going to get reamed for this when Leo finds out. You're bleeding, by the way." I dusted myself off, and shook tiny bits of cinder blocks out of my hair. I was definitely going to need a shower after this.
"Welcome to my world. Don't sweat it- it's nothin' new. He'll fuss for a while, and probably lecture us on being prepared for the unexpected, blah, blah, blah…. But he'll get over it." He sighed, and felt of his head. "Ouch. Well, at least it's not too deep. I hate gettin' scars- they ruin my good looks!" He quipped, grinning.
I rolled my eyes, but decided two could play that game. "Well, then I guess you must have had a lot of them, 'cause they were ruined a LONG time ago!" I said playfully. "I mean, I've heard of faces only a mother could love, but yours didn't even stick around until you hatched! She must've known how you'd turn out," I giggled. He started to protest, a look of mock pain on his face, and I laughed harder.
"Aw, gee, THANKS, dudette. Way to kick a guy when he's down," he said indignantly. We exchanged a glance, and suddenly both fell into a fit of laughter. At last he sighed, still wiping dust from his face and arms, and frowned. "Hey, why didn't that set off the demolition charges on this floor or the one above us? Shouldn't this whole level have gone ka-blooey?" He asked curiously.
I realized he was right, and started to wonder the same thing. "Maybe it wasn't big enough to detonate them? Where are they, anyway?" I mused, glancing around.
"Dunno, but Don would probably have a theory. And I think they're buried under all this mess, now," he added, gesturing to the debris. We both stopped to look around carefully, and I soon spotted something half-buried near the base of what remained of one of the support beams. Sure enough, as I made my way across the piles of rubble, I found a detonation charge connected to a block of what looked like plastic explosive. And the little timer on it was counting down, with less than a minute left.
"Mikey! We gotta' get out of here NOW!" I yelled back, and hurried back to him. I turned toward the doorway to the stairwell, only to find it blocked by steel girders and chunks of the ceiling above. "As soon as we figure out how…" I sighed, looking around for another means of escape. It suddenly occurred to me that this was exactly what the thugs had intended- for us to get trapped inside the building when it went down. I decided that I really hated Big Louie and his mob.
"What do we do now?" I asked, looking around anxiously. "There's no time to get that doorway cleared!"
Mikey raced over to the blocked passage, and began tossing aside bits of debris. He grabbed pieces of sheetrock and plywood and shoved them aside, then tugged on one of the larger chunks of rubble. "Like Hell there ain't! I think it's clear on the other side! Help me move some of this stuff- we'll make a hole and CRAWL out if we have to!"
I shook my head. "It's no good. I might be able to squeeze through, but what about you? Your shell is just to big! Most of that debris is too heavy to move enough for you to get through. We have to find another way!" I was getting really worried now. Time was running out.
He paused, and finally sighed. "Maybe you're right. Damn it, times like this I wish I wasn't so heavy in the back end. Okay, so if we can't get through here, maybe we can go OVER it?" I didn't understand his logic, until he looked up at the gaping hole in the ceiling above us. "Yeah- we go UP to get DOWN! Got it!" He whirled to me and pointed down at the weapon secured around my waist. "Your kusari-gama- we can use it as a grapple and climb up there!"
I wasn't so sure, but is was better than standing around waiting to be crushed under tons of steel, stone, glass, and plaster. I unwound it and started swinging the chain in an upward arc, the sharp sickle-blade flashing in the dim light from the windows. "Here goes nothing!" I said, and threw it up at the jagged rim of the hole nearest the doorway above. It caught, the blade biting into the edge of the floor above us. "Think it'll hold?" I asked uncertainly, tugging on it.
"It better- we don't have much time! Get your butt up there and hold it secure for me!" He ordered, pushing me toward the dangling chain. I grimaced, and began to shimmy up the hanging links.
"Since when do I take orders from YOU?" I complained, as he swatted my rump, trying to make me move faster. "Hey! Watch it, mister- unless you want me to leave you here!"
"Just hurry up, we're runnin' out of time! And since the others ain't here, that means I'M in charge, so MOVE IT!" He snapped. I frowned at the commanding tone, wondering what had made him go drill sergeant on me. Maybe it was the stress of the situation, but he sounded more like Leo than himself at the moment.
I hauled myself over the edge and rolled aside, glancing over to the doorway I'd climbed up to. "It's clear!" I yelled down, and grabbed hold of the handle of the blade embedded in the unstable floor. He started to climb, and I was surprised at the strength of his arms as he swiftly pulled himself up the chain. As soon as he was over the edge, I yanked the blade from the floor and helped him to his feet. I secured the weapon at my side again, and grabbed his hand, pulling him toward the door.
"Come on, we're almost out of time!" I shouted, kicking the door open. The stairwell was indeed clear down below, a small miracle for which I was thankful. I started to dash down the stairs- at least until I felt a muscular green arm slip around my waist and heft me up to sling me over a broad shoulder with practiced ease. "Hey! Mikey, put me DOWN!" I protested. I hated it when he did things like that; it made me feel like one of those wilting damsels in old movies, that the hero was always having to save from disaster. "I am NOT a sack of potatoes!"
"Sorry, babe, but this place is gonna blow, and I'm faster! Uh, no offense." He argued.
I had to admit he had a point. "That's funny, in a weird sort of way. Turtles aren't exactly known for their speed." I mused, as I bumped along over his shoulder. And yet, he WAS moving fast, even with a hefty burden- not that I'm particularly heavy as humans go, mind.
"Yeah, that's what the hare said, too. Anyway, you must be thinkin' of the land-bound kind. Us aquatic types are PLENTY quick!" He joked as he huffed his way to the stairs. I remembered that the boys had begun their lives as ordinary pet sliders, which I knew from experience could move with a fair bit of speed when necessary. Maybe he had something, there.
He jumped down to the landing, pivoted, and leapt down again to the next. He hop-scotched his way down four more flights, and hit the ground floor running. "Uh, might wanna cover your eyes, babe- gotta go through that window!" He warned, and I twisted to look back over my shoulder in time to see the aforementioned window rushing toward us. I quickly put my arms up over my head and squeezed my eyes shut, just as he launched himself at the window. We crashed through it in a shower of glass, and he landed outside with a grunt and a soft thud, pausing only a moment to shake glass off himself before he continued his mad dash.
Then the whole building blew, sending a fireball rocketing in all directions. The shock-wave of the explosion threw us nearly a dozen feet; I screamed, and curled into a tight ball instinctively as he pulled me off his shoulder and down to the ground, tucking his head into his shell and drawing his arms and legs in close around me to make a shield of his own body. Considering his hide was a lot thicker and tougher, I wasn't complaining.
When the blast subsided, I cautiously looked up, as he slowly drew back out of his shell, a concerned expression furrowing his brow. "You okay?" He asked, blinking smoke out of his eyes.
"I never get used to seeing you guys do that," I said, nodding in reply to his query. "If it wasn't for things like that, sometimes I could almost forget you're still animals!"
"Make that PARTY animals, baby!" He quipped, grinning. I took his jocular tone to mean that he was fine. "C'mon, let's get outta' here before the cops show up." He said as we got up off the pavement. I was inclined to agree. I didn't want to explain to the NYPD what I was doing outside an abandoned building that had just been blown up. We made a swift retreat to the nearest manhole, and slipped down into it just as we heard sirens approaching.
Once safely back in the sewers, he slipped his shell-cell out, and pushed the button to call his brothers. He got Leo on the line. "Hey, you guys okay? The building just went down- did you catch Louie?" He asked, rattling off the questions in a rush.
"No- he and those two heavies of his jumped in a car once they got to the street. Please tell me you two at least managed to get a few of those creeps!" Leo replied sourly. I glanced at the small screen on the communicator, and saw a look of utter disgust on his face.
"Sorry- there were too many, and one of 'em had a grenade of some sort. We almost got trapped in there! They got away. Where are you guys?" Mikey said, slumping in defeat. So far it looked like the mobsters had gotten away clean, leaving us with nothing to show for our efforts.
"Well, tonight was certainly a bust, then." Leo answered with a sigh. "We're under the intersection of 3rd Avenue and Grand, about a block from where we fought. We'll wait for you two to meet us."
"Be right there, bro," Mikey said, and hung up. "Looks like they came up empty-handed, too. This totally sucks." He grumbled, kicking angrily at a puddle on the floor of the sewer tunnel, sending runoff water spraying outward to splatter against the walls. He sighed, and we trudged off to find our companions in dejected silence.
Neither of us spoke for several minutes, upset by the knowledge that the entire battle had turned out a failure. Not only had Big Louie and his men gotten away, but the bodies of the five murdered men were now buried under tons of rubble, and were unlikely to be found any time soon. Even if they were, there was no way now of ever pinning the deaths on anyone, since all the evidence had been destroyed along with the building.
At last, Mikey looked over at me with an expression of doubt and anxiety, as if something was on his mind, but he was afraid to speak. I reached up to touch his shoulder, and gave him a reassuring smile. "Hey, we did our best, right? We didn't know he had the detonator for those charges- Don't blame yourself for letting them get away. We'll find a way to make this right." I said, hoping to cheer him up. A part of me couldn't help realizing the irony of trying to console the eternal joker of our team, the one who was usually cheering up everyone else.
"Huh? Oh, no- it's not that," He said after a moment. "I mean, yeah, it sucks, but that's not what was bothering me. It's done, and there's not much we can do about it now, so why keep dwellin' on it? I was just thinkin' about what you said earlier- y'know, about the way we look." He sighed, and I had the impression that something was eating at him. "You don't think we're ugly, do you? That guy back there did, and it seems like everyone who sees us either screams and runs, faints, or starts throwin' things or shootin' at us. Do we REALLY look that bad?" He stopped in his tracks and turned to me, looking more upset than I'd seen him in some time. "Sometimes I feel like we're monsters or somethin', cause that's all anyone ever sees. ARE we?"
I didn't know what to say at first. His question had taken me completely by surprise, for I'd been certain he was simply angry about the failed attempt to bust the mobsters and hang them out for the police to take in. Instead, he seemed more concerned about my earlier joke about his appearance. "Mikey, you know I was only teasing you in there, don't you? I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Don't let what that guy said get to you. Who cares what a bunch of criminal thugs think, anyway?"
"You didn't answer the question," he replied sullenly. "DO you think we're ugly? Is that why people hate and fear us? I know we're DIFFERENT, but are we THAT scary or hideous?"
I looked him in the eyes for what seemed like an eternity, not knowing what to tell him. It had never even occurred to me before that moment to even think about how he looked- it was just something I'd gotten used to. Not that I felt they were monsters by any means- I knew them well enough by now to know they were anything BUT. Yet he'd caught me off guard, and now I had to seriously consider how I looked at them. And I discovered that I really had no idea how to answer his question. How did one even judge the appearance of a half-human mutant turtle? Certainly not by conventional standards, that much I knew. But ugly? In comparison to what, exactly?
"I don't know, to be honest," I said after a while. "I've never really thought about it before. I mean, what am I supposed to judge by? Human looks? That's like comparing a spider and a frog- how do you say if one is ugly or not? Both can be beautiful in their own way. I've seen some pretty ugly humans, but aside from those two morons that Shredder has working for him, you guys are the only mutants I've ever seen, and I include Splinter in that list, just so you know. I'm not saying any of you would ever make the "Fifty Most Beautiful" list in People, but you're not exactly "elephant man" ugly, either." I reached up and gently took the orange bandana from his eyes, and gazed for a long moment at his naked face. "You know, I've always thought red-ears were rather pretty as turtles go- and I can still see some of that in all of you. The patterns on your shells, for one thing. They really are unique. I guess what I'm saying is that for being mutants, I'd say you're all quite handsome."
"You sure you're not just sayin' that 'cause you know us? It's easy to say that now, but what about when we first met? You were just as scared as everyone who's ever seen us." He looked doubtful, perhaps thinking I was merely trying to spare his feelings.
"What do you expect? Until that night, I didn't even know such a thing was possible! Heck, Mikey, that was shock more than anything. It's not exactly like there are dozens of mutants running around this city openly. Most people would freak out just at the thought that we're not the only intelligent beings on the plaent anymore. It's just- hard to accept, that's all. But if you boys were human, and as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside, Splinter would have to beat off the girls with his walking stick. And THAT'S the honest truth."
He still didn't seem convinced, so I decided to settle his doubts the only other way I knew how- I leaned in and wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek. "Ignore what those idiots back there said. They just don't see how amazing you are." I felt a tremble in his hand as he reached up to hug me back, and I could almost swear he was too stunned to speak. "You're not ugly- you're kind of adorable, in a weird goofball way. Now, come on, pretty boy, let's go find the others before Leo wears a rut in the tunnel by pacing." I grinned as I pulled away, and for just a moment, I felt him hold tighter, as if reluctant to end the close contact. I sighed, wondering when he was ever going to admit how he felt. I was beginning to get frustrated by his silence.