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One Step Closer

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Skate 9:

Up and Down

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The sound of a turning doorknob alerted Viktor from his light slumber to the person entering the room as he turned his back towards the wooden door, pretending to be sleep as he listened closely to the upcoming footsteps heading his way towards the bed. Feeling the bed slightly dipped down on the other side of him, Viktor raised his deep sea blue gaze up to the tinted window before him and watched the reflection on it to see the figure sitting behind him. A blurry figure of a familiar dark haired male appeared on the window as he watched him silently.

"I'm sorry..."

A soft whisper of apology echoed loudly inside the silent room as the dark haired male turned his body slightly to see the sleeping man beside him, oblivious of Viktor's attention on him as he told him everything, "I'm sorry for lying to you," he said, running his hand through his dark hairs exasperatedly as he looked down onto his laps, "I know I'd promised you that I'll tell you everything but..." he trailed off, eyes darkened slightly in sadness as he lifted his head up to him, watching his back silently as he let out a small sad smile upon his face, "I can't. I can't tell you about it because I don't want to disappoint you."

He turned his back against the lying man and shifted his two pools of deep green eyes to the slight ajar door as he continued, "You know, before you came to Hasetsu, I was ready to give up on skating. I'd tried and tried so hard to push myself but no matter what I do, I just don't have enough courage to move forward. The injuries that I had three years ago, it's still haunted me to this very day. I could still remember the disappointment on Rivera's face, the guilt swirling inside his eyes at my stubbornness. I was selfish back then. I was so determined to be the best that I ignored all of his warning and now, look what my selfishness did to me," chuckled the man sadly as he glanced over his shoulder at Viktor, "But when you came along, I could finally see it."

A small genuine smile slowly appeared on his lips as he recalled the moment he first met the Russian, "I could see my dreams again. The dream that I was ready to give up on become clearer as time passed by. But when my ankle started to hurt again, I panicked. The memories of my failure began clouding my mind as I struggled to keep myself going forward, ignoring the pain burning on my ankle. I know you're mad at me for lying to you but I can't. I can't tell you about it because I don't want to worry you. I don't want you to think that all your efforts are wasted because I know one day, I've to quit skating permanently. Before that happened, I want to give the world and to you my best. That's why I kept quiet. That's why I let myself suffered. Not only for me but for you and the other's sakes. I want to show them that I could be the best among the best. I want to stand beside you."

Turning his back to Viktor, the Japanese skater stood up from the bed and slowly made his way towards the door. Ryuuji paused briefly by the door and couldn't help but gave him one last glance over his shoulder, "I'm sorry. I don't know if you could forgive me for lying to you but I'm sorry. I really am."

With those final words, he closed the door behind him and walked down the hallways of the hotel to his room, unaware of a pair of deep sea blue eyes watching him as he disappeared into the night.

-.-.-

The sound of shuffling papers filled the silence as the dark haired male fidgeted slightly within his seat, waiting patiently for the doctor to tell him about how much he'd recovered from his injured two weeks ago. The middle-aged man hummed absentmindedly underneath his breath and pulled his gaze away from the written words displayed on his papers, "Based on the x-ray, your ankle seems to be healing well. But despite that, you still need a few more weeks to fully heal the cracks on your bone. Until then, I suggest you use the crutch to move around."

"What about skating?" Ryuuji asked, eyes swimming with hope as he waited for him to answer his question, "Can I still skate?"

A moment of silence emitted from the older man's lips as he looked down at the words written on his papers, hesitated as he told him the news. Sighed, the middle aged doctor placed the papers down onto his desk and couldn't help but faced the dark haired male as he delivered the news, "Sakamoto-san, I have to be truthful to you. The injuries that you had are quite severe and can cause permanent damage on your leg. Regarding skating, I would advise you to quit it"

"But-!"

"It's either that or you're going to be limping for the rest of your life."

-.-.-

"Here."

A familiar male voice snapped the dark haired man away from his deep thought as he looked up from his laps to the silver haired Russian standing before him with a bottle of cold mineral water in his hand. Ryuuji took the offered bottle off from Viktor's hand and couldn't help but met his deep sea blue eyes with his green ones as he nodded, thanking the older man for the water as he opened the lid of the mineral bottle in attempt of taking a small sip to quench his dried lips.

"Go warm up," told Viktor to him as he turned his gaze towards the other participant skating inside the rink, not wanting to see the hurt flickered inside the man's eyes, "You're next,"

A small twinge of hurt squeezed his chest at the emotionless tone within his voice as the dark haired skater nodded, acknowledging his words as he placed the bottle down beside his seat on the wooden bench. Ryuuji stood up and began unzipping the jacket he wore over his outfits as he get himself ready for his turn to be on ice.

Ryuuji took a deep breath to calm his nerves down and slowly walked past his coach towards the rink, fixing the wrinkles on his outfits with his eyes gazed firmly on the ice cold floor a few feet from him.

"Ryuuji."

Hearing a familiar male voice called out his name, he stopped briefly in the middle of his track and turned his body around to face Viktor once again, surprised by the call. He silenced and watched closely as the beautiful Russian man raised his hand up into the air. Viktor gently cupped the back of Ryuuji's neck and couldn't help but pulled the younger man closer to him as he whispered softly into his ears.

A pair of deep green eyes instantly widened in surprised at the spoken words spoken and looked up to meet Viktor's blue orbs with his green ones, watching his coach silently as he pulled himself away from him with a small genuine smile plastered upon his face. Shaking his head lightly, the dark haired man returned the soft smile with his own and nodded as he turned his back to the Russian ex-skater, continuing his journey towards the icy floor to greet the audiences.

Hearing his name being announced, Ryuuji took a step forwards onto the ice and did a few round inside the ice rink to warm himself up before starting his program. After finishing a few round inside the ice rink, the dark haired male headed towards the centre of the rink and waited for the music to play.

On the other side of the rink, Viktor bit his bottom lips lightly with his teeth and looked up at the said figure dancing on the ice as he walked closer towards the barrier separating him from the dark haired male. The Russian former champion placed both of his hands onto the cement barrier before him and couldn't help but admired the way his body moved through the ice despite the pain he tried to hide from him and the audiences.

"Worry?"

A pair of deep sea blue eyes pulled its attention away from the figure skating gracefully on the icy floor and turned around to see none other than Yuri Plisetsky standing behind him, ready for his turn after Ryuuji. The young blonde shifted his icy green eyes away from his former mentor to his rival and couldn't help but gave out a small frown as he shook his head, noticing the shakiness in the man's landing, "Did he tell you about his injuries acting up again?" Yuri asked, changing his gaze once again at his former mentor for his answer.

"I've found out about it by myself the other day," answered Viktor as he turned his deep blue eyes back to his protégé with a concern look upon his face, "But I don't know how serious his injuries are at the moment. What I know is that he'd been taking painkillers to hide the pain."

"And you're still letting him skate?"

A hint of frown ghostly adorned on the man's face at the disbelieve tone inside Yuri's voice as he kept his gaze firmly on his protégé, not letting any doubt and guilt he had in his mind clouding his thought regarding Ryuuji's wellbeing, "I believe in him," he said, eyes darkened slightly in determination as he watched Ryuuji conquered the Triple Axel, "Cause I know, he'll never ever give up that easily."

Silenced, the young blonde skater turned his icy green orbs back to the performance happening inside the rink and couldn't help but let out a small smile as he turned away, satisfied with Viktor's answer.

-.-.-

'Come on, just a little more'

Ryuuji gritted his teeth, suppressing the pain on his ankle and continued his program by doing his second combination spin which consist of scratch spin and camel spin. Exiting the spin, he turned around and couldn't help but caught a brief look on Viktor who was watching attentively from the sideline on the ice rink.

'Show me...Show the rest of the world the miracle we've made together..Let's us make history...'

Eyes narrowed in determination, the Japanese skater sped up his pace in attempt of getting enough speed for his final jump, the Quad flips. He pushed himself up into the air and began twirling four times in mid-air before landing onto the ice. Unfortunately he failed to land as he expected. His ankle was twisted slightly during the landing, causing him to fall onto the hard icy floor. An exaggerating pain instantly hit the skater which resulting him to let out a loud yell in pain as he grabbed a hold on his ankle.

"RYUUJI!"

Viktor pushed open the entrance door of the rink and rushed through the slippery ice floor towards his protégé. He kneeled beside the skater and struggled to pull Ryuuji's hands away from his ankle to see how severe of his injuries were, "Come on, Ryuuji," he murmured, "Let me see it."

Grabbing his large rough hands into his, the Russian coach pulled their hands away from his ankle and took off his skate to see it. A small gasp in surprised as well as disbelieve emitted from Viktor's mouth at the sight. The area around the ankle was burning red with a few bruises on the side of feet.

"Excuse me."

Viktor turned around and scooted away to allow the medic to check up on Ryuuji. The medic began questioning the injured skater about how severe his injuries were and told him that they're going to take him to the hospital for further examination. Gently placing him onto the stretcher, the four medics carried Ryuuji out from the rink with Viktor followed behind them as one of the medic called an ambulance.

-.-.-

The sound of paper shuffling filled the air inside the room as Viktor anxiously looked at the doctor, waiting for the result regarding his protégé, "So," he began, watching the older man expectedly with a flicker of desperation inside his deep blue eyes, "Can he skate again after his ankle has heal?" he asked solemnly.

Looking up from the paper inside his hand, the doctor silenced, for a moment or two as he wondered on how he going to deliver the news to the famous skating champion. The doctor cleared his throat and gave the beautiful Russian man a small sad smile, "Due to the previous injuries he had on his ankle, there would be no way for him to skate anymore. Even though his ankle heals, it won't surprise me if it started to hurt again. If this continues on, I don't think it'll be able to heal and he's going to be limping for the rest of his life."

Viktor silenced, eyes began to water at the thought of Ryuuji quitting as he bit his lips with his upper teeth, desperate for something, some kind of miracle to happen, "Can't you do something about it?" he asked to the doctor.

"I'm sorry."

Swallowing the sour taste inside his throat, the former champion thanked the doctor for his help and slowly made his way to Ryuuji's room to see him. He stopped, hesitated to enter as he looked up into the small window on the wooden door to see the person lying on the bed inside the room.

A soft sound of knocking alerted Ryuuji to his presence as he entered the plain white room to see his protégé, "Hey," greeted Viktor softly to the silent man as he headed towards the bed, "How you're doing?" he asked with undeniable concern inside his tone as he took a seat beside the bed. Receiving nothing but silence from the other man, Viktor touched his hand with his pale ones and gave him a light squeeze in hope of snapping him to reality, "Ryuuji," he murmured, "Please... say something."

A deep sigh of defeat answered him as the dark haired male pulled his deep green gaze away from the nothingness before him and turned around to face the sad looking grey haired male, "I know what you're going to say, Viktor," Ryuuji said as his eyes began to darken in sadness and despair, "I don't want to hear about it."

"But-"

"Please..." he pleaded with shakiness inside his voice, "J-just leave me alone."

Saddened by the lifeless tone within his voice, the grey haired male scooted his chair closer towards the bed and raised his hand up to cup Ryuuji's cheek, "Hey," he murmured, turning his head to face him as he looked deeply into his eyes, "No, I'm not going to leave you again," argued the grey haired Russian to him, "I'm not giving up on you."

"You've walk away before. Why can't you just walk away again?"

"Because I believe in you, Ryuuji," answered Viktor firmly to him, "I know you're not someone who would give up easily."

Ryuuji silenced, eyes gazing deeply into his pair of deep blue eyes as he shook his head in denial, "It's no use," he said as the light that used shine his eyes began to darken, feeling nothing but hopelessness regarding his situation as he pulled his head away from Viktor's warm hand to look at the gloomy dark skies, "This is the end of line for me."

The screeching sound of chair being pushed back echoed loudly inside the plain white hospital room as Viktor stood up from his seat to the side of the bed, taking a seat beside the man as he forced the dark haired male to face him with a solemn look upon his beautiful face, "Look, I'm sorry," Viktor apologized, referring to his action a few days ago, "I was wrong. I shouldn't walk away from you."

Looking down onto his laps, the grey haired former skater ran his hand through his hairs and raised his gaze up to him with a small sad smile adorned on his lips, "I was angry," he explained, "I feel betrayed. You've promise me you would tell me everything but yet, you're keeping your injuries a secret. I trusted you, Ryuuji. I thought you would trust me to. So, when I saw the pills inside your pocket. I was angry, I was so angry not to you but to myself. I was so angry because I didn't notice it. I didn't notice the pain, the suffering you had. I feel like a failure. I've failed as your coach," he whispered, "and I'm sorry."

A moment of silence surrounded the two men inside the white plain room. Musing deeply within each other thoughts, a pair of warm hands slowly cupped Viktor's face, lifting him up to meet a pair of deep green eyes with his sea blue ones, "No. Don't," whispered Ryuuji softly with a small genuine smile slowly craved its way onto his lips despite the sadness he felt about their situation, "If it weren't for you, I'd never be here. So, thank you. Thank you for believe in me still. Thank you for being here, standing all this time by my side. It was a nice to have someone there waiting for me."

The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted their moment as both of the men turned their head towards the door, embarrassed to see a young beautiful nurse standing awkwardly by the doorframe. The blonde haired woman cleared her throat awkwardly at the handsome men and fidgeted slightly as she told them the visiting was over.

Thanking the nurse for the reminder, the former Russian skater stood up from his chair beside Ryuuji's bed and leaned down slightly to the dark haired male, patting Ryuuji's cheek affectionately with a fond smile upon his beautiful face, "Rest," he whispered, "I see you tomorrow."

With that, the grey haired Russian turned his back to his protégé and nodded slightly at the nurse as he walked out from Ryuuji's room, ignoring a pair of deep green eyes watching him disappeared behind the wooden door.

-.-.-

Weeks had passed since the incident happened in Moscow, Russia during the Rostelecom Cup and Ryuuji, who had been injured during his free program, was slowly recovered from the injuries he had on his ankle. During his rehabilitation, he was forbidden from ever set a foot on the ice rink until his injuries were healed. So, in order to speed up his recovery, he was being confined inside his apartment for the whole two weeks under Viktor's order.

Surfing through the internet, he opened his email on his laptop and couldn't help but noticed the large amount of emails flooding his email account. Some of them were from his fans and friends wishing him well after the incident on Rostelecom Cup. He scrolled over the emails and was surprised to see an important email from the Japanese Skating Association. Curious, the dark haired male clicked on the said email and silently read the words written on it, unaware of the sound of the front door of his apartment being opened.

"Ryuuji?"

A pair of deep green eye shifted its attention away from the screen of his laptop to the speaker entering his apartment and tilted the screen of his laptop down as Ryuuji turned around over the couch to see his housemate, "Viktor," replied the dark haired male to the Russian as he watched Viktor took off his coat after spending a few hours of training Yuri for his future competition in a few weeks.

Placing his coat onto the hanger standing beside the main front door, the Russian took off his shoes and slipped on his Makkachin's fluffy slippers as he made his way to his rested protégé, "What are you doing?" he asked as he took a seat beside the younger man.

"Just reading some emails," he answered as he tilted the screen back up for Viktor to see the email he was reading moments ago, "I just got an email from the JSA."

"Really?" hummed Viktor in surprised as he leaned over to see the said email, unaware of the discomfort he cause on Ryuuji as he placed his hands onto his laps in attempt of reading the said email, "What it is about?" asked the foreigner as he tried to fully understand the content written on it.

Ryuuji shook his head to dismiss the awkwardness he felt for Viktor's action and read the email out loudly for his coach, ignoring the tingling sensation crawling up his spine at Viktor's hands that were dangerously close on his groin. He couldn't deny that he had a small attraction on the man and being this close to him might affect him in both physically and emotionally manner. To Ryuuji, Viktor was one of the most beautiful men he ever met during his life. He had been following the Russian male for years, especially during his first debut in the Junior Skating Championship. His performances were his inspiration, his fuel that enlightened his passion on ice skating. And when Viktor came to Japan just to be his coach, he couldn't help but felt as if he was dreaming.

Clearing his throat lightly, the dark haired male continued reading the email for him and couldn't help but leaned his back against the head of his couch in attempt of giving himself some distance from Viktor, "It is our pleasure to tell you that you had been selected to be the last and final contestant for the Grand Prix Final that will happen on 27th December in Barcelona. We hope to get confirmation on whether you're going to the Grand Prix Final or not. So, please give us a reply on your decision as soon as possible and we hope to see you on the Grand Prix Final."

"I see," murmured Viktor absentmindedly underneath his breath as he leaned away from the laptop, arms crossed against his chest with a thoughtful look upon his face at the news.

Ryuuji looked down at the silent man beside him and watched closely for any reaction from Viktor at the news. A moment of silence passed between them as Viktor ran his hand through his grey hairs, sighing as he shifted his deep sea blue eyes to his companion, "Well," he began with a small frown upon his face as he leaned back against the couch, watching his protégé closely, "Have you decided whether you're going or not to the Grand Prix Final?" he asked.

"I-I don't know," he answered, "I haven't think about it yet."

Placing a hand on top of his, Viktor gave the hand a small squeeze and said, "No matter what's your decision is, I'll always support you."

A smile instantly craved its way onto Ryuuji's lips at the spoken words and couldn't help but squeezed Viktor's hand back, "Thank you," he said, smiling brightly as he withdrew his hand back to close the laptop.

Suddenly, a moment hesitation flashed inside his deep green eyes as a thought appeared inside his head, reminding him of his situation. He put his laptop onto the coffee table and turned his attention once again at his partner sitting beside him, "You know," he began, "If I accept this, it probably be my last chance to skate ever again," he said, remembering the warning given by the doctor concerning his injuries.

"I know," agreed Viktor with a stiff nod, acknowledge the fact that if Ryuuji continued skating, he will forever damaged his ankle, unable him to walk normal for the rest of his life, "And if it is our last chance, then I hope we can give our best for it. Together."

Three days later, the dark haired skater opened his laptop back up after discussing with Viktor about his entries in the Grand Prix Final and wrote his reply to the JSA. He clicked the send button and placed his laptop down onto the coffee table before him, "I guess we're going to Barcelona after all," he murmured as he slowly stood up from his couch. Putting his coat on, the dark haired male limped his way out from his apartment and slowly made his way through the streets to meet with Viktor at the Ice Castle.

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