Live-In's
By BlackFeatherz29
Chapter 10
Well... er, it's been awhile? Yep, it's been quite awhile. Considering the year-long breaks I usually take from my other stories, though, this was nothing. And boy have I got a treat for you... three thousand plus words of angsty goodness! I figured that it was update, even though I didn't have any ideas. I forced myself to reread my story, though, and then inspiration came. The part about Sasuke's past was hard to come by, though. I had bits and pieces, but not a whole picture. Unfortunately, this chapter might sound somewhat OOC, but I do have an excuse. This is not the Sasuke everybody else knows, but my take on him. He has different weaknesses, mind you, although the Itachi part is still somewhat the same.
As for my PSATs... I got them back last month. And I curse myself. Only a few points away from the cutoff point and the 99th percentile! GRAAAAGGHHH!
Disclaimer: I own this storyline, not these characters. If I could make a novel with different characters in their places, I probably would :)
Sasuke had never been a big fan of the dark.
Most people his age usually weren't, but for him, it was nearly unbearable.
Of course, he would rather rip out his own eyes than admit his fear out loud. He had learned from experience at the orphanage that children who were scared of the dark were instantly branded as 'cowards' and 'chicken'. Sasuke hated the dark, but he hated being called a coward even more. So in that blustering way that only scared boys could muster, he denied the very existence of his fears.
This situation, however, had rendered the option of aviodance totally and completely void. The sun had long sank below the city skyline of donwtown Konoha, and the darkness that pervaded the apartment that he and Hinata shared was complete and seamless. The lone candle that flickered with the slightest breeze on the low wooden table was the only thing he could see, and by its light, he watched a pair of pale hands twisting and untwisting continuously in agitation.
The sight filled him with irritation, his jumpy nerves sensitive to every little sound and movement. The quick, shallow breathing of Hyuuga Hinata contrasted with his own long, controlled breaths, and her wringing hands made small rubbing sounds that sounded thunderous in the stagnant air. 'She probably wasn't even aware of what she was doing,' he scoffed mentally. What a dumb girl.
Naturally, it didn't take long for him to come to the end of his patience. Sasuke was never endowed with a large amount of that particular virtue; hell, he never exhibited much of any virtue. Now, however, he was walking on an even thinner line than usual.
After erupting at the girl, Sasuke felt marginally better. It seemed like the power of speech helped him regain some semblence of control over his twitching limbs. Even when she kept on her usual broken thread of alternated stutterings and apologies, he pushed his annoyance down in the face of the better good.
'I just need to keep her talking,' he told himself. So when Hinata had suddenly answered one of his barbed inquiries with an unexpected retort, his interest was piqued. Of course, she followed up that with yet another apology, but he could care less now.
Instead, he volunteered to listen. Listening was easier on him than talking; his breathing had always been tightly controlled (a lifetime of martial arts training had taught him that control was the most valuable tool that a man could have), but his hands were silently spasming, and he was afraid that his hammering heart would be given away if he tried to talk too much.
He was interested in this girl, anyway. She would be in instant contact with him for at least a year more; why not take the time to find out if she was actually worth anything?
As he listened idly to her small voice grow and wane in lilting strains, he kept quiet and thought about all she was saying.
She really was absolutely oblivious, he thought with some amusement, his irritability sliding away. She truly did not see what the people close to her saw in her. Here was a perfect example of someone who was so selfless that they tainted themselves with their own thinking. 'Those types of people don't last long in worlds like this one,' he thought absentmindedly.
When he had flatly pointed out the flaws in her reasoning, he had been unprepared for her gratitude. Even more strangely, she had started crying. Crying. In happiness. Happiness.
She was just fucking unbelievable. What the hell was wrong with her head?
He should have been prepared for the impossible when it came to Hyuuga Hinata. He should have. But he wasn't. It was the fault of that stupid male ego, the same one that filled every male on the planet with bluster that would more likely make them fall flat on their faces than bring them any pride.
Now, he would pay for his own ignorance by being forced to spill his life story to this weird, unslightly little girl.
"Um, Sasuke-san... you wouldn't happen to be... s-scared of the dark, would you?"
Hinata, unfortunately, immediately suspected something was up when her companion across the table fell completely silent after she asked her timid question.
Her danger sense erupted, and her breath hitched up in her throat. Such was her fear of offending her obviously very proud dormmate.
"I- I know it was a r-really s-s-stupid question! Y-You don't have to answer t-t-that!"
A muted grunting was heard, not sounding very convinced.
She tried again. "Well, um... I-I'm sorry if I was wrong... but you sounded so uncomfortable that I felt that I h-had to say something..."
A long silence.
Hinata was in despair. In a last ditch attempt, she threw out something that her father always told her.
"Y-you know... o-otousan always told me that if you don't feel good about s-s-something, then you should t-talk about it..."
She almost didn't expect an answer, but then an impatient exhale was heard.
"Fine, dammit. Prey upon my very weakness, why don't you?"
Hinata blinked in the darkness, not quite believing what she had just heard. "Y-You mean..."
"Yes, goddammit, I'm fuckin' scared of the dark. Just leave me the hell alone!"
This reply sent an strange feeling creeping through Hinata's veins. Then, the oddest thing happened.
A bubble of something ticklish erupted from her lungs and nearly escaped through her open mouth before she clapped a hand over it. The entirety of it, however, had not been captured.
A strange sort of croak had escaped her lips, and she was startled to realize it for what it was: a giggle.
The stony silence that rang through the still air was enough to make her wish she could turn back time. To her utter mortification, she giggled again. It was as if she had not control over her own body. But it was so funny...! Her dormmate, Uchiha Sasuke, Stone Statue Extraordinaire, was scared of the dark!
Catching herself with difficulty, she forced the smile off her face hastily, afraid of what Sasuke might do. Then an even more dangerous though occured to her. Hinata remembered how angry Neji had been when she had discovered his secret stash of Weekly Shonen Jump magazines. He had nearly smote her right then and there. Later, he had painstakenly explained to her the intricate workings of the male ego. Males did not reveal their weakness. Males did not reveal their weaknesses at all.
From the level of frigidity that she detected aimed her way from unseen sharp black eyes, she no doubt that she had just gleaned into the inner workings of Uchiha Sasuke's very being. And she had the nerve to laugh.... she had laughed at him!
Her senses then went on overload. Her breaths coming in shallow gasps, she opened her mouth to spout off a string of apologies, but a voice stopped her.
"No matter how rude that was, I don't want you apologizing again."
Hinata choked on her unspoken words, and had difficulty pushing them back down her throat.
"Well?" Sasuke demanded. "What did you really want to say?"
Biting the inside of her cheek, Hinata nervously considered her options. He had her trapped. She couldn't apologize, nor could she make up excuses about why she had burst out laughing. He would kill her, though...! But he'd also kill her if she didn't listen to him...
"Um... u-u-uh... a-ano..."
"Spit it out!"
Hinata tried to calm her racing heart, but to no avail. Her words came streaming out in an unstoppable jumble. "I just thought that it was really cute!"
The silence that followed lasted almost five whole minutes. Then Sasuke's disbelieving voice rang out. "You... you thought it was 'cute?"
Hinata bit back a plea not to kill her on the spot. "Um... y-yes...."
"... that was the last thing I expected you to say."
To her utter amazement, the tension began draining out of the stifling air. Hinata's mouth fell open, and she nearly forgot to breath as her companion shifted again.
"You... you really don't know anything, do you?" A pause. "Of course you don't."
"I do!" The words burst forth before Hinata's brain could stop herself.
The pause that lingered between them was less stony than she had expected. She could sense amusement emanating from Sasuke's presence.
"And what, pray, do you think you know about me?"
She was proud of the fact that she only stuttered a little bit when she spoke. "I-I know all about the male ego... Neji-nii-san taught me..."
A short, bitter laugh came from the other side of the table, and Hinata shivered a little as the hairs of her neck stood on end.
"Male ego? I suppose it might have been something to do with that at first. But you are completely off. You would never understand anyway."
First came the deep sense of regret for having brought something that she should not have come to light. But then something snapped inside of her. Those words stirred something within her. Hinata remembered that when Hanabi threw tantrums, she would always angrily repeat those exact words. 'You would never understand anyway...'
The knot of frustration that had always welled up inside of her when Hanabi had said that was the same as what she felt growing inside of her now. An anger borne of tenderness, of defensiveness... Sasuke was her dormmate! Her friend! He had helped her sort out emotions that she had never understood for eighteen long years! And to feel helpless that she couldn't help him when he had helped her...
The opaque darkness gave her a surprising dose of strength. "Please," Hinata suddenly said, surprising even herself with her own forwardness. "Even if I can't understand you, at least it'll make you feel better talking about it."
A silence followed her ringing statement. Then, a low, deep chuckle split the air. Hinata flinched, wondering if she had said too much. But then, Sasuke spoke.
"I don't normally do this, you know. I hate talking to people more than anything in the world, especially to annoying girls like you. But right now I don't even feel like myself... I can't stand this darkness. God..."
He laughed a hollow laugh that sounded not the least bit happy.
"Just promise me that you'll never let the dobe or that pink-haired fangirl find out..."
Fear of the dark was not naturally endowed in Sasuke; it was only the usual childhood fear of boogeymen under the bed.
He grew up under the wing of one of the premier electronics business companies of Japan, one that had been founded even before the founding of Konoha. The Uchiha clan had been part of the very foundation onto which Konoha had been built, and it was this loftly pride that every one of the Uchihas inherited. Even the Hyuugas, successful as they were, were not as old and respected as the Uchiha clan.
Sasuke's childhood was fragmented, much of the memories lost after the trauma of losing his mother. He did remember that he had positively idolized his father and his brother, though. His father, the proud head of the Uchiha clan and of the company. And his brother, the most talented prodigy that the clan had ever raised.
He could never forget the pride that welled up inside when he went with his mother to Itachi's kendo or martial arts tournaments. Itachi was a natural at everything he did. His grades were always off the scale, his physical abilities were unsurpassed, and the fame that he brought the clan was unheard of. As the second son, there were lower expectations for Sasuke, but he always struggled with himself, trying to reach Itachi's level.
There came a point for Sasuke when he was in elementary school that all his affection for his older brother began waning. Itachi was twenty-two, the soon-to-be CEO of Uchiha Co.. Sasuke rarely saw him, and when he did, Itachi was always surrounded by the top Uchiha clansmen, discussing sales or some other intricate business scheme. A combination of childish hurt and jealousy developed into anger, and Sasuke isolated himself from both his family and his clan. Because of this, he never saw it coming.
Sasuke knew that Itachi was talented, strong, and proud, but he never knew him to be crazy. Uchiha Itachi was all tight, tight control. Every emotion and every action was efficient, and nothing unnecessary was ever wasted. Perhaps those long years of holding back had driven him to insanity.
It was the only explanation he could think of for what happened that night. Sasuke was eight years old, top of his class at his elite private school. Coming home from school late at night every day, he had not expected anything out of the ordinary to occur at all.
Arriving home, he found that the house was dark. It was strange that the home of the head of the Uchiha clan would be dark, but Fugaku had gone on an important business trip to Korea that night. Maybe his mother had gone to bed early. It wasn't until Sasuke cautiously made his way into his parents' bedroom did he find out the true reason.
The only light came from the streetlights outside, casting an unearthly yellow-orange light over the sight on the floor. The sight was so horrifying that Sasuke had been puzzled for several seconds before he realized what had happened.
His brother stood behind their mother, who was kneeling, the Japanese sword in his hand skewered through her throat. The woman's kimono-clad arms hung limply by her sides, making no move to remove the sword in her neck. When Itachi turned, Sasuke realized, his eyes were blood red. It was the legendary Uchiha Sharingan, the eyes had been written about in ancient Uchiha scrolls. The eyes of a murderer.
Sasuke didn't remember much after that. He thought he might have fainted, but he couldn't be sure what had happened after his horrific discovery. All he knew was that he woke up in the dark.
The space was small and cramped; it stank of mothballs, old wood, and furniture polish. However, none of this mattered to him.
He was alone. He was trapped. It was dark. It terrified him, for some reason. All he knew was that he needed to get out of there. He needed to get out of there, or a knife in the dark or a clawed hand was going to tear at him and kill him. The rough wood that pressed upon him from all sides was like a coffin. The hysteria came.
Sasuke did remember screaming into the darkness for hours until his throat ran dry and no sound would come out. He remembered hammering his fists and knees against the walls against the unyielding doors until the cuts became too much to bear. And the tears... they mixed with blood and sweat until he could no longer discern reality from his nightmares.
It took his clan members nearly two days to find the sight. By then, Sasuke had retreated into himself and fallen into a half-comatose state, having no strength left. The old woman next door had come in to investigate, concerned about Sasuke's sudden absence from school.
Uchiha Fugaku was immediately alerted, but he did not come home until a week later. By then, his wife's body had been painstakenly embalmed, his elder son was gone, and his younger son was still in a state of shock from his ordeal in the locked armoire and had developed a permanent fear of dark, enclosed spaces.
Sasuke's memory became hazy at this point, but he remembered the nurse telling him that he'd needed months of therapy to recover. Fugaku was furious when he saw his son's state. "Who's going to succeed the company if my only son is a useless vegetable?" he had roared at the nurse by his son's bedside.
Soon after his release from the hospital, the clan voted unanimously to exile Sasuke from the clan. To these businessmen, a useless son meant that the son didn't exist at all. And so, nine-year old Uchiha Sasuke was sent to the orphanage.
The years afterward were both healing and frustrating for him, because he was a confused child with no one to tell him what he should do. At first, he believed that it was truly for his own good. After all, his father was the only family he had left. But as time wore on, as his rations became scarce and his money supply dwindled and dried up, he came to realize what had happened to him. They had forgotten about him... purposefully.
After that, he gave no more thought to the ignorant bastards that his clan was made of. He saw what had made Itachi so crazy, surrounded by those big-headed freaks day after day. But that was no justification for killing their mother. He wished his brother had gone on a clan-wide killing spree instead; it would make the confusion so much easier to bear. From the first nights that he had spent at the orphanage, he was always plagued with fear of the dark. His nightly tantrums became so distracting to the other children that he had to be moved to a room of his own. It took five long years to be emancipated.
Whatever Itachi's mad reasoning was, that would have to wait until he was found. And Sasuke wanted to be the one who put him behind bars for the crime that he had committed, to hear from his own murdering lips the reason for their mother's slaughter. Graduating from high school with top honors but little money, he entered Konoha University for the purpose of spiting his clan. That, and Konoha had a reputation for providing a relatively good education with a cheaper tuition than most.
He shunned the business world any way he could. Instead, he focused on the goal of bringing Itachi to justice. He was now studying law under the peculiar but gifted Hatake Kakashi.
Even though he tried so hard to forget his childhood nightmares, which no longer plagued him like before, he could not help reacting automatically when faced with his fear. No matter how much he hated it, it was part of him now. And he hated feeling so weak...
I didn't really know how to end it... This is already so long, and I'm tired and I want to go to bed. Once again, keep in mind that Sasuke-kun's not entirely in his right mind. And no, he did not say all of that, at least not in those words. It was easier to write like that, and it flows more naturally. I didn't want to keep writing Hina's stutterings or predictable conversation between them. And yes, there is more to his story much like there is much more to Hina's story than you've heard.
And yes, Neji-nii-san does read Weekly Shonen Jump. He especially likes Hajime no Ippo. LOL.
Next chapter will be in a different setting, I promise! Keep it up with the reviews; I'm so grateful to you readers!