Repeated Nights

Ch.10

Buried in her tears, Katara did not remove her head from her pillow. Her body trembled as she sobbed for her lost lover. Her anger bubbled for her father's betrayal. When she came home she wanted to yell and scream at her dad for telling the congress of her illegal intimacy with Aang. But then her anger was overcome with sadness because she had lost her trust for her dad. She thought that he would want to talk to her before consulting with the counsel. He had betrayed her trust.

Katara opened her tear blurred eyes, recalling the moment when she came home this evening. She did yell at her dad, but then she collapsed at the head of the table sobbing uncontrollably. Her dad said nothing to her and slowly walked out of room. Gran-Gran walked right up to him and told him that he should say something to her. All he said was, "I will, once she calms down again." Then he left. Katara ran into her room and cried all night long.

The sun was showing its first rays of light through Katara's bedroom window. She felt no warmth come from them. Katara slammed her face back into her tear damped pillow, she had been crying all night. She could find no sleep. If she closed her eyes, her mind sent her into a nightmare. It was a terrible nightmare which was a mixture of fearful memories of when Aang was shot by Azula two years back, and horrible fantasies of Aang dying in many other ways. She could not close her eyes and find comfort. But if she left her eyes open, she was brought to the horrible realization that Aang was gone too. He was gone in both her dreams and in reality. And since he was gone she would cry, and cry, and cry.

Katara could feel a hole in her chest pulsing in pain with every sob. Her mouth tasted salty from her running tears. Her body felt wringed, like she was crying herself dry. She was emotional and physically drained.

It seemed like there was no end to her suffering. But the most frightening truth that Katara dreaded was that this was only the first night of this punishment. She couldn't imagine what it would feel like in two months. It would feel like an eternity. There was no end to this suffering. Katara threw her pillow across the room, then beat her fists into her mattress. Her fear itched into anger and it began to boil uncontrollably.

She jumped out of bed and ran over to her dresser. With a forcing thrust it fell over creating a huge bang with sounds of cracking wood. She tossed the hanging tribal masks and decorations against the wall with incredible force. She punched holes in the walls and floors with water fists. She used her waterbending to create more destruction. Punching, slicing, destroying everything that was in her path in her dark room.

Her bedroom door was swung open quickly. Sokka, standing there in his nightwear, was terrified at the sight. There was his sister, pounding furiously on the floor with bleeding watery fists. His presence didn't make her cease.

"Katara, KATARA STOP!" He ran up to her and grabbed both of her fists. Katara screamed in protest. "Katara its only me! Please stop!" Katara froze when she met Sokka's pleading eyes.

"Katara, calm down….everything will be alright." Sokka tried to smile.

"…H-he's gone….just like mom…." Katara muttered.

"No he's not gone like mom." Sokka cradled her in his arms. "He'll be back sooner than you think."

"…H-he's dying…Sokka…and so am I….…I have to save him!" Katara squirmed in his grasp.

"No he's not dying, he's fine. OK! He's fine, you're fine! Just calm down Katara, I hate seeing you like this!" Sokka whimpered. "Please just calm down, everything is going to be ok. I'll help you through this. Its just gonna be two months. That doesn't sound too bad." Sokka rubbed her shoulder.

"I can't do it….." Katara whimpered. "It's too painful….." Katara's eyes were tearing up again, she faced her brother. Her eyes were red, her face paler than cream. And with her flowing tears it made her face glisten like white silk. "He's not here, I can't know if he's ok. How can you say he's fine when he can't come here? Why are telling me he's fine when you even don't know?" Now her face was red for yelling. Sokka had never seen Katara get so red so quickly when in the heat of anger. He had never seen her switch between two emotions either, depression and then rage. In truth, Sokka believed she was almost the spitting image of Azula. That made his entire body shiver.

Sokka released his hold on her and stormed to her doorway. "Get some sleep and no more banging." He said without turning around, then he slammed the door behind him. Katara collapsed on the floor again. It felt cold, but it was a good cold. She could feel her burning cheeks and hot tears cooling against the cool stone. Her anger was decreasing from the cold. Soon her body was shivering, but for a different reason. Now it was because she was cold, and not crying. Now she felt cold and dry, like a withered frozen leaf. She could not feel the pain in her chest anymore. It was like her broken heart was frozen in place to stop it from pulsing in pain. This cold felt like it had frozen herself in time, no pain could be felt. It was as if she was like a statue. She didn't mind the feeling, this feeling of nothingness. It was better than agonizing through her nightmares and fantasies that were dancing in her head. This nothingness was better than feeling this uncontrollable anger and overwhelming sadness.

This nothingness…

This cold nothingness…..

For once she could find a moment of nothing, but her eyes refused to shut. She wanted to wait for him to return, to break her out of this icy frozen form.

Finishing his tenth cup of tea, Sokka rubbed the back of his neck with a groan. Suki poured him around cup, they exchanged the same depressed look of concern. It had been two full days. Now this morning marked the start of the third day since Aang was banished from the Southern Water Tribe. And tomorrow was the First Snow Winter Festival. Zuko and Mai finally arrived only to find everyone in a depressed mood. Mai admitted that everyone was more gloomy than she was. Toph made no comment on that which shocked Zuko completely. Sokka managed to tell them the story about Aang's banishment. He left out the part about Katara's attitude. Over time it was growing worse.

She never left her room, not for food or fresh air. Not even to share a smile or a greeting. All day she would stare out the window, her eyes searching the horizon. And when night fell, she would mutter hopelessly about Aang as if she was having a nightmare. But instead of having this nightmare in her sleep, she was wide awake. It was as if her mind was causing illusions in the darkness of her room. They were very real to her.

On the second night, Sokka heard Katara muttering about Aang being shot by lightening in the crystal catacombs, and then she screamed to high heaven about Azula. The next thing he heard was Katara banging, punching, kicking, and attacking some invisible force. He rushed in like he did the previous night, and nearly got killed by Katara's waterwhip. He yelled at her to calm down. Eventually she stopped, like she had just been woken up by a trace. Then she cried herself to exhaustion. But she never slept. This morning he peaked in on her to make sure she was alright. He found her lying on the floor, at first he thought she was asleep. But when he moved closer to her body, he realized that her eyes were wide open staring up at the window. Her body was frozen stiff. It literally looked like she was a statue. She didn't move. Her chest would rise and fall occasionally and her eyelids would blink. But she refused to move her body. Sokka rushed out of the room. He couldn't believe the sight of his sister.

Those pictures of her Azula like face and now her motionless body could not leave his mind.

"She needs a doctor." Sokka finally spoke.

"She needs time. After what happened, the poor girl needs to be able to choke this down. She needs to be left alone for a bit." Suki argued, placing the teapot on the table.

"You don't see the way she looks at me!" Sokka slammed down his tea cup, burning his hand with hot water. He cursed.

"I hear the ruckus she was makes at night, the whole village could have heard it." Suki wiped the table and his hand. Sokka grabbed her hand and stared into her eyes.

"No you didn't see what I saw. She was slamming things around and punching shit until her hands were bleeding! She keeps hallucinating that Aang was dead or dying! She yells at me about …..spirits knows what. And this morning I found her lying on the floor…Fuck I thought she was dead. She was just lying there staring out the window…..I can't have her like this, she's my baby sister! I need her happy! If only I didn't Fucking yell at them when I realized that they were sexually active! But why the FUCK did dad have to tell that FUCKING counsel?"

"I didn't." came Hakoda's voice from the front door. He slowly entered the room. "Is she still in there?" He pointed to her bedroom door.

Sokka nodded with embarrassment, he regretted cursing about his father.

Hakoda walked slowly down the hallway to Katara's bedroom. "May I ask you two to leave." He said without turning around. It was more of a command rather than a question. Suki and Sokka looked at each other.

"Come on Sokka, I think the baby and I need some air." Suki yanked on her husband's arm.

"But dad, she's been hysterical the past two nights. She might try to…." Sokka started.

"Son please." Hakoda stopped him.

Sokka took Suki's hand and they walked out of the house.

Hakoda knocked on the door, he didn't expect it to open. "Katara? It's your father. I need to talk to you. First off, I want you to know that whatever I do, I do because I love you. But listen, I'm not here to tell you that this whole situation isn't my fault. I'm here to tell you the truth. Truth is I was not the one who told the council about you and Aang. They told me it was Aang's nurse who reported it. But I am responsible for not supporting you. I was a coward for not supporting you two at the council meeting. When I came in and saw what you two were doing and when that nurse took off, I knew she would go tell the council and by then the damage was already done. I honestly didn't know what to do, so I did what any other clueless coward would do: I did nothing. I didn't know that the council would take this upon you so harshly. I didn't know it would cause you so much pain. But understand one thing Katara. Don't sit here and suffer, hold on to what is good for you. Aang, he's out there, alive, healthy and in love with you. Don't turn into me like I did with your mom." Hakoda bit his lip and breathed deeply, "There's no reason for you to be like me like this. She is gone, but Aang's not and you know that. So don't give up and give into despair because you haven't reached that point of hopelessness yet. Aang is with you, he's happy and he knows that this punishment will end. And you need to be with him honey."

Hakoda paused, a long silence followed. He stood still for a minute or so. "Katara?" He knocked on the door again. He slowly slid the door open.

The room was empty. Everything was crushed and destroyed. But the only thing that was intact was a message on her broken bed. The message was a crumbled up piece of paper, like it had to be folded up to a tiny piece. Hakoda picked up the note, in big handwriting is said:

Meet me at the far northern edge of the iceberg, outside of village territory. Please come. This will be set right, don't give up on me.

In smaller writing on the very edge of the corner it said:

Dad, I listened and I understand. I don't blame you. I want everything to be right again.

Katara

Hakoda smiled.

Katara ran as fast as she could, she used her waterbending to make the ice and snow move with her to increase her speed. Momo was hugged tight around her head and shoulders, his wings were tired from flying to give Katara that message earlier. Aang had sent Momo to fly as fast as he could to get her. Katara was so grateful of Momo that he came right as her father came to her door to tell her the truth.

Katara's lips curled into a smile as she increased her speed. Her father didn't betray her trust, he wasn't the one told the council. Everything was fine now between her family, now there didn't have to be anymore secrets. Her trust was never truly broken.

She could see him, his orange yellow robes. She commanded her legs to move faster, her heart was pumping too quickly for her to breathe. Her body ached from her lack of sleep, little nourishment and sore muscles. But she didn't care about her body, she needed to be with Aang. But she tripped over her own two feet and tumbled to the ground reopening her cut on her hands.

Aang ran with the winds to her. "Katara!" He was next to her in seconds. He hovered over her body, their eyes locked. Katara's heart rang in her ears. Her breath was shaky along with her entire body. But she didn't care, she didn't care about the embarrassment of her fall, or her weak body. Aang was right in front of her and that was all she needed.

Aang was just as he should always be, his face was young and glowing. His eyes heavy and old with experience, but gentle and kind. His lips plum and warm. His arms strong. His body firm. His presence enticing.

With a shaky hand she pulled his head down to her and she kissed his very lips. He kissed her back. He gave her short sweet kisses, he wrapped his arms around her giving Katara warmth again.

Aang brushed his nose against hers and listened to her heavy breathing and fast heartbeat. "I'm glad you came."

"I couldn't hold myself back even if I tried, I needed to see you." Katara tried to catch her breath, but suddenly she felt very weak. Her mind felt groggy and her vision was blacking out. Her body couldn't stand the reality of this moment. It was unbelievable that he was really here. Alive. In her arms. Kissing her. Breathing with her. Touching her. Loving her. All of her fear and anger wisped off her shoulders. But the presence of its existence left permanent feelings of tiredness and weakness, like untreated scars. But these feeling of tiredness and weakness felt so rewarding. Because Aang was really here. Her suffering wasn't all for nothing. Because Aang was really here, with her now.

"What's wrong?" Aang noticed her eyes drooping and her smile looked like she was having difficulty maintaining it.

"I just couldn't sleep at all without you. I can't endure the pain any longer. I can't be apart from you like that, not again. My heart can't take it." Katara could feel her eyes watering again.

"Your heart can't take much more, its beating so fast. And you've been crying a lot I can tell." Aang took Katara's hand from his face and examined it. Bruises and cuts scraping on each fingers were more apparent in the sunrise's light. "And you must have been angry." Fresh red blood glistened.

"I know I'm a mess."

"You're not the only one." Aang showed her his hands, they too were covered in bruises and cuts. "I took most of my anger out on innocent blocks of ice."

Katara took his hand and kissed it. Her kiss's moisture was beginning to slowly heal his cuts. Aang smiled.

He brushed the side of her face with his other hand as she slowly healed the other. Their eyes never broke contact. Katara liked how Aang was on top of her. She felt so cold without him. He was like a big roaring fire. She felt warm, safe, happy, and able to sleep peacefully. He was melting away that icy frozen form of hers.

Aang bent down and kissed her eyes, "Sleep please for me. I could not sleep either, not one wink since I left." Katara did notice the dark circles under Aang's eyes. Aang hugged her tight to him and he rolled over on his side. The snow did not penetrate through Aang's heat. He was using firebending to keep them both warm, and Katara liked it. He was making it all too easy to fall asleep.

Katara held tight on to Aang, wrapping her arms around his neck and draping her leg over his hip. Her chest was pressing against his chest. Aang's arms held her tightly to him by her waist. His hand rubbed her back, easing the tension of her sore muscles. Katara's lips kept placing soft kisses on Aang's face and neck as if it were a conscious action. He in turn did the same. They were trying so desperately to find the strength to kiss each other more, but their bodies begged for rest. Soon their kisses slowed in tempo and their eyes could not hold themselves up any longer. Slowly and surely they drifted into their long awaited heavy sleep, out in the middle of the frozen field of snow and ice.

The sun's morning rays casted more light upon the frozen land. Shadows disappeared, light was restored. But one shadow still remained, a shadow of another person standing a far distance away from the couple. His eyes staring down at them, observing and analyzing. As Katara and Aang became motionless, the man smiled. He slowly walked back to the village with his cane in hand to aid him.