A/N: Yeah, I know, late chapter. There are probably going to be more of these from now on, as I am moving in to college on Thursday and don't know how busy I will be. I WILL NOT ABANDON THIS STORY (or Replacement) but the updates might not be so...timely. Sorry 'bout this, but now that I am paying for it out of my pocket, school does come first now.
A few notes now:
Several people have asked me if I knew Inuyasha is OOC. Well...yeah. I warned in the beginning he was going to seem a bit out of character. This chapter may explain a bit when I give his backstory, because the circumstances in how he grew up are a bit different from canon Inuyasha. Also, instead of basing it solely around Inuyasha's problems, as I have done in the past, this story is mostly about Kagome's problems, meaning Inuyasha has to be her pillar of strength. So yes, I know he is OOC, and hope I have provided a good enough explaination as to why. It's an AU, they're all allowed to be a little OOC anyway.
Also, you gotta know a bit about Japanese history to fully understand this chapter. Or, just go read Rurouni Kenshin. That's where I got all my facts, anyway. :P
(and as to any spelling mistakes, I am dead tired and am going to spellcheck the chapter tomorrow, so they will eventually be fixed).
Kagome hadn't seen Inuyasha for days, something that for once, she preferred. Despite the fact that he had been kind to her when she had been at the shrine, she didn't think she would be able to handle seeing him so soon after what she had revealed.
She hadn't wanted him to learn of her secret, but it had been inevitable; and now he knew. He had taken it better than she expected, trying to comfort her when she was afraid he would hate her for it. But he hadn't. She didn't understand why, but appreciated it all the same that he was more comforting then accusing once he learned of her sin.
Inuyasha was turning out to be very different than her first impression of him. She expected him to be rude, and arrogant forevermore. But it seemed the more she got to know him, the more she saw that kind interior that he hid so well. Why was he so kind to her now? Was it something she did?
In the days she did not see Inuyasha, she threw herself in to engagements and practicing for the Summer Dances, trying to take her mind off it. She put on a false front of happiness, giving smiles to all her customers, acting as if she was having the time of her life laughing at lewd jokes and dancing like a puppet every night. It helped, a little; being able to do something to keep away all thoughts of him and what she had told him before.
But now, she was beginning to miss him. He was rude, outspoken, and stubborn to the core, but he could be gentle, and kind. And that kindness she missed dearly. Kagome found herself wishing, hoping that she would see him in passing, just once, but she didn't. They used to run in to each other almost daily on the streets of Shinbashi, why wasn't he seen anymore?
Was it indeed because of what she had told him? Did he speak kind words, but want to avoid her at all costs anyway? He was one of the few people in her life that had been kind to her, so how could he just leave her like that without even saying goodbye?
She wished she knew where he lived, so if she needed to, she could seek him out, but he had never told her. In fact, there were so many things he had never told her about himself! He knew nearly everything about her, but she didn't know his age, where he had come from, what he liked to do, or hardly anything, for that matter. Usually when the spoke, the conversation ended up about herself.
How self-centered, she thought now, to speak about herself and her problems when there was another person next to her with probably just as many passions and struggles!
Nearly a week since she last saw him, Kagome was in her room, lazily plucking the strings on her shamisen, to take away the boredom. The rain pounded hard against the roof of the okiya, and the outdoor picnic that she was supposed to have entertained at that afternoon was canceled, and she was to have nothing to do until evening, when she would be entertaining with Sango in a teahouse on the far side of the Shinbashi District.
As Kagome hummed a tune, the shamisen's three sharp strings playing along, she heard the bell ring in front of the okiya. The bell had thrown off her concentration, but she sighed, and thought, Probably just deliveries…
Her eyes snapped wide open a second after that thought, and she instantly turned to the window, lifting up the curtain to look down below. The heart that had been racing fell as she saw it was not Inuyasha, but a tall man dressed in a trenchcoat and fedora hat. He was speaking to the maid, handing her a letter.
So it's not him. Kagome knew it was a stupid, foolish hope, but she couldn't help it—after not seeing him for so long, her heart leapt at any chance of meeting him. Dejected, she turned away, putting her shamisen aside for now.
I guess, he doesn't want to see me after all…
Not one minute later, one of the maids slid the door of Kagome's room open. "You have a letter, Kagome-san."
Kagome turned took the letter, thinking of only one person who would send her a letter in this way. "Is it from Kouga-san?"
"I do not know, Kagome-san. It didn't say."
That was odd. As the maid excused herself and left the room, Kagome opened the envelope to be met with shock—the letter was from Inuyasha.
As usual, it was short, and filled her with curiosity.
Kagome,
You said you wanted us to have an arranged meeting, so can you meet me by the record shop around six tomorrow afternoon?
Oh, and you might want to wear something that your mother wouldn't mind if it got dirty.
-I.
That last phrase made Kagome pause, thinking of a thousand different things he could mean by it, and most of them quite against Mother Tsubaki's rules. She wished he could have sent this in person so she could have asked him what he meant by it, but…
Even so, Inuyasha did want to see her! And they were finally going to have an arranged meeting instead of meeting by chance! He couldn't have picked a better day, since she was entertaining in a different place from Sango and she could blow that off without anyone being there to tell on her.
Smiling, and thinking nothing could break her happy spirits now, Kagome picked up her shamisen, and began to play the sakura song her mother had taught her long ago, unable to wait for tomorrow.
Kagome ran through the streets of Tokyo, dressed in her hakama outfit once more, cursing herself for being late. She would have been on time, if her geisha mother hadn't insisted on helping her dress for her evening engagement. She had to leave the house in full geisha regalia, then turn around, and climb through her window using the box that was perfectly placed underneath, then dress for her meeting with Inuyasha, and climb back out, hoping no one saw her.
She had been skilled at sneaking out of the okiya for years, and knew how to be as quiet and unseen as a mouse when possible, but that did not stop the odd maid from looking out of windows and seeing the geisha Higurashi Kagome jump down from her window dressed like a schoolgirl, floppy bow and all.
She passed businessmen, schoolchildren, and tourists all over the streets of Tokyo as she ran, keeping her eyes open for those damned automobiles that she heard would sooner run over you than look. She definitely agreed with Inuyasha on his main reasons for liking the Shinbashi district—no cars meant no chances of being hit.
Turning a corner, Kagome saw the American imports shop, but no Inuyasha. Her heart sank as she slowed to a walk, glancing all around. Was Inuyasha late as well? Had he forgotten? Had this all been some sort of sick joke to make her look like a fool?
And then he was there. He stepped out from behind the building, smiling slightly, making Kagome's heart race faster. "Inuyasha…" she spoke softly, coming closer to him.
Kagome could swear that she almost saw a smile on his face. "You came," he said, looking happy.
She nodded. "Yes…I was…wondering why we hadn't seen each other in days." For a moment, she looked away, almost ashamed of her words.
"I thought…that maybe you'd want to be left alone for a while," Inuyasha looked a little bit surprised when she said she had missed him. "I mean, after that—"
"Yes, but it left me wondering if you were avoiding me because of what happened," Embarrassed as she was to say the words, she said it anyway. "I wanted to see you."
Both were silent for a moment, the silence slightly uncomfortable, before Inuyasha turned away quickly, thinking of something to say. "Anyway, thanks for showing up."
"Was there any reason to believe I wouldn't?" she asked, but Inuyasha ignored her question. Sighing, she asked another question. "So, what are we going to do?"
"First," he said, walking over to his rickshaw cart. "We're going to be going somewhere else."
"Where?"
He couldn't help but grin slightly. "It's a surprise." He motioned to the cart. "Come on, get in."
Kagome raised an eyebrow, looking at the back of his cart, laden with straw to keep heavy packages from bumping in o each other. "Are you sure about this?"
"Look," he said, folding his arms. "It's either get in the cart, or we walk. And trust me, you don't want to walk where we're going."
Feeling that he wasn't going to let her get away with not agreeing, Kagome sighed, "All right," and climbed in to the back of the cart, feeling very foolish and very glad no one would recognize her in her schoolgirl clothes.
Inuyasha grabbed the poles of the cart and said, "Hang on!" And then they were off. With a shriek, Kagome was thrown to the back of the cart as Inuyasha took off, running down the Tokyo streets.
"Inuyasha!" she cried, hoping to make him slow down as they nearly hit several passerby, but he didn't. He let out a playful laugh as they ran past automobiles ambling their way along the streets, and Kagome understood that he was having fun in all this. Soon she too, began to see his way, as it all seemed kind of funny rather than reckless; zooming past frightened pedestrians and their terrified looks was fun, in its own way. And so, she let out her own carefree laugh, not even caring about how dangerous this was.
Finally, Inuyasha pulled the cart to a stop, and Kagome looked out to where they were. Inuyasha had pulled them all the way on to the sand of Tokyo beach, near the waters of Tokyo Bay. Kagome took one look at those waves, that had enchanted and entranced her back when she had barely known him, and wondered what this meant.
"Inuyasha?" she asked, looking out at the beautiful water as he helped her out of the cart.
"Come on," he said, urging her on towards the cool water. "I used to do this all the time when I was a kid and first came to Tokyo."
Kagome looked back at the clear blue water, looking so tempting before her, and she said, "Wait a minute." She ducked behind the cart, and from there took off everything she was wearing, save the under kimono. When she emerged, glad the dark white cloth was enough to cover herself, Inuyasha was already wading out into the water. For a moment, she looked down at the water lapping up against the beach, unsure of what she was doing, before Inuyasha urged her on. "Come on."
She gave a tiny shiver as she stepped in to the water, her bare feet slushing in the mud. The waves lapped up against her as the continued to wade out, their eyes on the orange sun, sinking on the horizon. The wind lightly brushed past Kagome's ear, as she felt Inuyasha take her hand, and with that simple touch, she felt as if he could lead her to the edge of an abyss, and she would follow.
With that touch, no matter what he did, she trusted him completely.
"Inuyasha?" she asked, turning to him, the sea air whipping across her face.
"Shh," he told her. "Close your eyes. Doesn't it feel like, you could do anything?"
Kagome closed her eyes as she was told, shutting out all thoughts of Tokyo, or geisha, or all the things she had to deal with in her life of pretending. With the sea air all around her, and the waves lapping gently about her legs, she could pretend she was anywhere, anywhere but Tokyo. She was in places she had only read about, places she wished she could visit someday; the aqua blue Mediterranean, the white sanded beaches of the Caribbean, or the tropical islands in the south pacific.
Now, she understood why Inuyasha wanted to bring her here. Here, at the ocean, near the water that always seemed to elude her, she could close her eyes, and pretend she was anywhere but here, in a life that was anything but the one she was given.
A huge wave came up along the shore, splashing Kagome and making her gasp and stumble back in to Inuyasha. He laughed. "What, I thought you liked the water?"
"I can't swim, Inuyasha!" she yelled back, noticing the water seemed higher than it was before. "Besides, I can't go back to my okiya soaking wet, can I?"
"All right," he said, still chuckling, as they headed back on the beach. "But did you like it?"
"Yes," she said, looking back at the waves now that she was on dry land. "But I'd rather not be in the water when the tide comes in." She marched back behind the cart, grabbing the rest of her clothes and trying to squeeze water out of her under kimono. "Great," she spoke outload. "How am I going to explain this if I come back to the okiya soaking wet?"
Inuyasha shrugged, "Well, you could go somewhere to dry off first."
Halfway dressed, Kagome popped her head out from behind the cart. "Where?"
Inuyasha gave her a small grin, "I know of a place you could go."
"You live here?" Kagome asked, as they stood in front of the small, wooden house in downtown Tokyo, which had pictures of geisha and rich families in the window; clearly a photography studio.
"Yeah," Inuyasha shrugged, taking the lit cigarette he had been smoking out of his mouth. "Old Toutousai knew my father, see, so as long as I pay him rent, he doesn't mind that I live in the room upstairs." He pushed the door open, leading her in to a large room, filled with cameras set up on tripods, pictures, advertising prints, and a few chairs and backgrounds set up for photos. Seeing the images permanently preserved on paper, Kagome felt as if she was in some sort of time capsule, to record faces to be viewed for generations. "Oi, Toutousai!"
A door to a small, dark room opened and an old, bug eyed man came out, blinking. "Damn you, Inuyasha, do you have my rent yet or—" The large eyes of the man settled on Kagome, who felt very nervous all of a sudden. "I never thought I'd see the day when you'd be bringing women over here, Inuyasha…"
"Shut up!" the hanyou yelled, suddenly pink in the face. "I just wanted to show her the studio, that's all."
"Oh?" Toutousai came over to glance at Kagome more closely. "And what do you think of it?"
Kagome didn't even realize she was reverting back to her old geisha habits when she looked down, and gave a small bow. "It is a wonder to me, Toutousai-san."
The old photographer raised an eyebrow. "You may be wearing simple girl's clothes, but you're a geisha, aren't you?"
"Huh?" she gave a small gasp, wondering how he knew when no one else had ever guessed before.
"Only geisha are that polite," he explained, while glancing back at Inuyasha. Though Inuyasha appeared to be doing nothing more than smoking lazily, his golden eyes were on Kagome, never leaving her. It's a bad idea for him to get involved with geisha, Toutousai thought, eyes narrowing. She'll eventually have to leave him in the end…
Kagome wrung her hands slightly, feeling very foolish now that someone had figured out her true identity. "Well, right now, I am not dressed as a geisha, so I am not one."
"Of course you aren't, but…" Toutousai glanced at her, wondering if he should make his offer.
"But what?" This time it was Inuyasha who demanded to know what was going on.
Toutousai spoke up, "Would you like to pose for a picture? I am in need of more models now that most of the geisha are practicing night and day for their Summer Dances."
This seemed to shock both Inuyasha and Kagome. To think of herself as a model for pictures, like other, more experienced geisha were for advertisements and posters, it was something that seemed magnificent; the perfect way to have her name known all throughout Shinbashi. Still…it was reckless, doing something like this, but after this afternoon, did she really care anymore?
"I guess," she sighed, following Toutousai over to the chair and backdrop by the camera. The photographer directed her to sit in it, and she did, hoping she wouldn't have to sit still for long. Inuyasha watched her from behind Toutousai, with a curious expression on his face while he continued to smoke.
Toutousai looked through the camera before poking his head back out. "Smile a bit," he directed. Kagome looked puzzled, and he explained, "Only geisha are supposed to look expressionless. Right now you are not a geisha, so smile."
Kagome did, noticing how hard it was to smile on cue as Toutousai hit the flash. She had never had her picture taken before, so she did not expect the sharp flash of light, and blinked several times after it had passed. "There, that should do it," Toutousai said, stepping away from the camera.
As Kagome got up to go with Inuyasha, Toutousai thought, She looked perfect…perhaps I can slip her picture to some of my clients, since she looked much prettier than the last geisha that came in here.
Kagome had asked to see his room, and so, he led her up the small stairs in the back to the attic room. It was small, cramped, and only ventilated by one window, but for Kagome, it was a place that looked perfectly his own.
Stepping over the futon in the middle of the floor, she went over to look at the katana that was mounted on the wall. It looked old; but for some reason, seemed to give off an aura of amazing power. "What's this?"
"That's Tessaiga…it was my Father's sword, at one time." He explained, looking at the sword. "It was the only way I had of defending myself for a while, until Japan opened up to the west and everyone started using guns instead."
Inuyasha was sitting near the window, and she could see a small closet that was half open, filled with haphazard piles of most of his usual clothes, but it also contained a well cared for, bright red hakama and haori. "You said you used it at one time? How old are you?" the question was blunt, but she as now more curious than ever.
The hanyou shrugged. "About two hundred, I suppose. From what I know, I was born during the height of the Tokugawa regime. My father was a powerful taiyoukai, and my mother was a daimyo's daughter."
Wow…that history, and yet he's stuck in this small room in Tokyo, delivering packages for a living? "If your mother was the daughter of a daimyo, then doesn't that make you—"
"Nothing," he explained bluntly, turning back to her. "I'm a hanyou, remember? No one was really happy about her giving birth to a half-breed, so she had to flee for her life, taking me with her. This happened right after she found out Father had died in a battle with another youkai."
"Oh…" her heart gave him some pity, knowing all too well the feeling of being estranged from family.
He continued, "After Mother died, I lived on my own, teaching myself how to survive in a world that hated me. I thought I could live that way the rest of my life, and then…"
Kagome sat down next to him, entranced by his story. "And then?"
Amber eyes met hers, "The ships came."
"You mean…" She gasped, having heard the story from her elders years ago, "When the American ships came to Tokyo harbor?"
Inuyasha nodded. "I had survived on my own, living alone, content for years, and once they came, they changed everything. War tore apart the country. Samurai turned on their people, fighting to keep the old way of life. The Emperor's army came to the last youkai, asking them to fight in exchange for freedoms they were losing under the Shogun's regime. So I found myself hunted by samurai when I had nothing at all to do with the war." He sighed for a moment, gazing out the window to look upon Tokyo, lost in thought. "I had to make a choice, to be hunted down and eventually killed for trying to keep my old way of life, or to change and adapt."
"You adapted? You fought in the Bakumatsu?"
"Near the end of the war, I fought in the Imperial Army." Did Kagome imagine it, or was his voice full of regret? "The samurai began realizing that without the youkai, they couldn't win. They even tried to recruit me, but I wasn't going to fight for them after they had hunted me. I fought for the emperor not just to save my own neck, or glory like Sesshoumaru—"
"You know Sesshoumaru-san?" Kagome cut him off, curious.
"He's my half brother," Inuyasha shrugged. "We don't really get along much. Anyway," he continued, "Like I said, I didn't fight for those reasons. I fought because…the emperor promised a new way of life, in which each man and youkai was equal. I had thought that it meant maybe there would be a better world for hanyou as well. I hoped that I could finally live among humans, and never be persecuted for my hanyou blood again." He closed his eyes for a moment, saying, "I was wrong."
"But it is a different world," She told him. "You can live among humans, like you are now. You have a place to live, money, and a job—"
This time, he cut her off, "Yeah, what a job. Full blooded youkai like Sesshoumaru got military honors, and were rewarded with money and factories and government jobs, able to stay on top like they were before. I was denied every job I applied for until someone noticed I was fast and handed me a delivery cart. All the time I am denied tips because I am a hanyou, so is it really an equal world? I don't think so. I've learned my lesson—we always strive, and say we will get an equal world, but in the end, it's a farce. It's never equal, so long as the rich, pureblooded select few stay on top and define what is equal and what is not."
Kagome was silent for a few moments, but took his hand, replied, "Well, I see you as an equal."
There was another silence after her comment, the simple touch all that was needed to express her feelings. But, still neither of them were quite sure what exactly those feelings were, so she let go quickly, turning away. "It's getting lade…I have to go back to my okiya soon."
Inuyasha stood up. "I'll take you back; it's dangerous around Tokyo at night."
"Thank you," she said, standing up and heading towards the door, just as she was about to open it, Inuyasha cleared his throat for a moment, making her turn back. "Inuyasha?"
What had he planned on saying? He didn't remember. And even if he did, he knew it was something that was far too strong to say right now. "Nevermind."
His hand brushed hers as he passed her through the doorway, the simple contact sending jolts of electricity up both of them.
What was it, about these simple touches that were making Kagome so embarrassed…and so excited?