The Doctor is so awesome, so...FANTASTIC!

In which Jeoffry learns that a battery can't go into a flashlight horizontally

Jeoffry stalked over to the door on the far side of the room, and pressed a small button next to the door and murmured something to it. He turned back to Rose and her friends. "He'll be with you in a moment. He's a little...busy at that moment."

The Doctor peered at the door, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Where'd you get that quote on your door?"

Jeoffry glanced at the quote in question lazily. "I heard it. You like it?"

"I...have heard it before," the Doctor said slowly.

Jeoffry only gave him a lazy grin. "Are your names really what that girl said they were?" he asked.

The Doctor shook his head, a fake smile on his lips. "Oh, no. My name is simply John Smith. Milady Rose likes to think I am a doctor."

Jeoffry narrowed his eyes cynically. "Right. And she made up the word TARDIS?"

The Doctor shot him a curious look, but didn't reply. There was something about the way Jeoffry said it that made the Doctor suspect he knew the Doctor was lying and that he knew what a TARDIS was. In fact, the Doctor was beginning to suspect Jeoffry Smart knew everything about him.

Rose peered intently at Jeoffry. There was something about his slightly tanned face and strange pale eyes that reminded Rose of someone, but she couldn't quite place who he reminded her of. Before she could think more deeply about it, the door behind Jeoffry opened and a small pageboy stood in the doorway.

He bowed so deeply that his mop of sandy hair nearly touched the floor. "Lord Stuart'll see ya, now, melady," he announced.

"Thank you. Good day, Mr. Smart." Rose nodded to Jeoffry as she and Jack walked out of the room. Jeoffry stalked over to the Doctor and shoved the Time Lord out of his office, slowly closing the door behind him.

But before the door closed, Jeoffry said something very strange that Rose did not understand. "Doctor-in-Training Thorix Rasputiniux, University of Pallas."

Rose glanced at the Doctor to see if he understood the secretary's cryptic statement. From his white face, she supposed he had.

"Rose!" It was Jack. Rose turned and saw a short plump woman barring the page's and Jack's way.

Jeoffry's door reopened with a bang and Jeoffry stepped out. He looked around curiously until he saw the woman. "Oh, shit."

"I knew it was you, Jeoffry Smart! I knew you was the one who tried to stop us!" the woman shrieked.

And she advanced toward them, long fingernails as sharp and curved as talons outstretched.

"Oh, shit" just about summed up their dilemma.

"Ew! Something cold just touched my hand!" Rose squeaked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, that was my torch battery. Now hand it over." The grouchy voice sounded like Jeoffry's, well, at least it had that strange lilt of his. Rose handed it to him. The sound of fervent swearing in Gallifreyan erupted out of the darkness, and Rose wondered if it had been the Doctor who had snapped at her after all.

"Er, what's wrong?" Rose asked hesitantly.

"The damn battery doesn't work!" Definately Jeoffry.

"Maybe you put it in wrong," Rose offered.

"Ooh, that's a thought." There was a second's hesitation, and then: "Er, how do I put it in right? It won't go in horizontally."

Rose sighed in frustration. "Hand it over."

He didn't. "Ah-ha! I've got it!"

"AIEE!" Rose shrieked.