AN: I do not own Twilight. I will continue with the story for now. I will try and update as much as I can but with a lot of the ideas that I have ben having lately revolve around my story "What is it to you" don't expect me to be updating on a regular basses, but I will try my best. And if you have any song ideas please let me know.
"But don't worry Edward I only have tree ugly parts in my life and the one that revolves around you is the mildest of all. Although I did relapse a bit" I Said.
"What do you have a relapse of and was mine was the most mild" Edward asked.
"Ok so we are starting with ugly. I'm just going to go in order form when they happened so yours is going to be the last one I talk about. Let's see my first ugly moment was right after Ian died. I became very depressed and wanted to die" I was cut off their by Edward.
"What do you mean you wanted to die" Edward shouted.
"I couldn't think of a life with out my brother in it, and besides I thought about it but never went through with it. Ian made sure of that. But I did come close I had several ways that I was going to kill my self I just couldn't decide which one I wanted to use" I was interrupted by Edward again.
"I don't want to hear about the different ways you thought about offing your self. How could you even think about that any ways" Edward said.
"Fine I won't go into details. So that brings us two the second one. That happened after the whole deal with Justin; and it was the worst one of all" I said and stopped there.
"Why did you stop" Carlisle asked.
"Well if Edward didn't like hearing about the first on he is defiantly going to hate this one" I replied.
"How bad is it" Edward asked sounding worried.
"Very bad if you thought the first one was bad, you are going to hate this one" I said.
"It can't be that bad… can it" Carlisle asked trying to sound sure of him self but failing at it.
"Believe me when I say you guys have heard nothing yet, I was really messed up after the whole deal with Justin" I said.
"Are you going to tell us about it" Carlisle asked.
"Only if you guys can keep your mouths shut, because I know you guys are not going to like what I tell, not one bit at all" I said
"Ok we well try and keep quiet" Edward said sound really worried.
"Ok like I said the hole deal with Justin really messed me up. I ended up joining a street gang, I got hook on drugs" I stopped there waiting to see what their reactions where going to be.
"What type of drugs" Carlisle asked sounding like he was going to be sick.
"Heroin, crack, and pills" I said
"I don't remember ever seeing any track marks" Edward said.
"You never looked between my toes" I replied.
"How long did that go on for" Carlisle asked.
"I had ben clean for 6 months before I went to Forks" I said.
"What did Ian think about all of that" Edward asked.
"He didn't like one bit, but he also didn't know what to do" I said with a sigh.
"Ok keep going I'm pretty sure that's not all of it" Carlisle said.
"Yep that's right I stared drinking as well, I had been sober for a month before I went to Forks; and I had a record about a mile long. Every thing from possession to grand theft auto; there is also a reason why I didn't like you going fast Edward. You see I also got into street racing and I was good at it; then I got into an accident and almost died and everyone thought I would never walk again. I guess you can say that's where my clumsiness came from" I said.
"Bella I don't remember reading anything about an accident in your file and what do you mean everyone thought you would never walk again" Carlisle asked.
"That doesn't surprise me at all the doctor that I saw went to jail and all of his files were sealed. The reason no one thought I would ever walk again was because the bones in my legs where shattered in the accident along with my pelvis and both my feet. It was around that time that I got hooked on pills. When I came to Forks I had only been walking on my own for about four months." I said.
"So all of that clumsiness was just your body still getting use to walking again" Edward asked.
"Pretty much, mind you I was never graceful before the accident, but I was never that bad" I replied.
"Can you tell us the details of the accident" Carlisle asked.
"That I can't do; I have no memory of the accident at all. All I remember is waking up in the hospital and being told how lucky I was to be alive and that I will probably never walk again" I said.
"Does Ian know what happened" Carlisle asked.
"I don't know we never talk about that point in my life" I replied.
"How could you do those things" Edward asked eagerly.
"Like I said the hole deal with Justin really messed me up. It didn't start out that bad. At first I made some new friends and started kick boxing, and I was pretty good at it. The thing is that most of my new friends were in a gang and I eventually joined the gang. They did drugs and I eventually started to do drugs. They raced and I got into the racings real quick. That another reason why Charlie got the truck for me that he did. They stole and I got into stealing to pay for my addiction" I said.
"Is that every thing" Esme asked.
"Yeah that's every thing about that ugly point in my life. I told you the first one was nothing" I said.
"Ok so the last ugly point is your life was mild compared to the ones you just told us about" Edward asked sounding worried.
"Yep, I just got depressed and didn't do anything but sit there and cry. The only bad point was I started to drink again. But Charlie put a stop to that rather quickly" I said.
"Wow that was rather mild compared to the other two" Edward said sounding shocked.
"Yeah you see when Ian died; I wanted to die as well. With what happened with Justin, I became angry and I hated the world. When Edward left, my heart was broken and I didn't know what to do I was lost, alone, and confused" I said.
"What where you confused about dear" Esme asked.
"I was confused about why you guys hated me so much and how I could have fallen so easily in love with Edward when he never loved me at all" I said.
"Oh sweetie we never hated you" Esme said as she hugged me.
"I know that now. But that was another reason why it hurt so much when you guys left. To me you and Carlisle where like the parents I never had, you guys took care of me instead of me taking care of you like it was with my real parents" I said. With that said both Carlisle and Esme where hugging me.
"We have all ways thought of you as our daughter" Carlisle said. "But I do have one question I have been wondering if there was a reason you bonded so quickly with Emmett. I'm not complaining I'm just curios' that's all" Carlisle said after a while.
"Yeah Emmett reminded me so much of Ian; and when I was in Forks I missed him a lot. So it was almost like I had my big brother with me even though he was not really there" I said.
"So you and Ian have always been close" Edward asked after I pulled a way from Carlisle and Esme.
"Yeah, Ian made sure I had fun and was always there for me. He hated the fact that at 5 years old I was the one cleaning the house, paying the bills, and cooking the meals when we had food in the house" I said.
"So you did every thing around the house when you where 5 years old" Esme asked angrily.
"Yep if I didn't do it, it never got done. The only thing I couldn't do until I got older was go out and buy the groceries for the house. So Ian would come over once a week with a wagon full of food from our grandparent's house. The thing was that they knew what was going on but they did nothing about it except let Ian bring over food once a week; until I was old enough to go to the store my self. So growing up Ian's main concern was that I all ways have fun and have a chance to live my life instead of being the grownup since no one else would be. He gave up so much of his free time and his own friend just so I could have fun and be a kid. He would play any game that I wanted to read the same stories to me over and over again. Take me anywhere that I wanted to go no mater how childish it was or how un-cool it would be for him if he got caught there" I said.
"Ian really did look out for you; that's why you couldn't see a life with out Ian there. It was because he was the only one there for you" Carlisle said after a second.
"Yep so when he died it was like I lost all reason for living since no one really cared what I did; and it took me along time before I forgave Renee and Charlie for how they went about hiding Ian's death from me. Charlie hated Ian and Renee thought of him as a mistake that wouldn't leave her alone, since he was always over" I said.
"You have not had an easy life" Esme said.
"True but Ian has made sure to make up for in the last 200 years. Well that's every thing. Let's get back to the house" I said as I jumped up from the ground. When we got back to the house there was a note on the door.
Bells we have gone shopping. Be back later; and I'm going to get you something no mater what you fucking say.
Ian
After reading the note I started to laugh and I pulled out my phone to call Ian.
"Hey Ian" I said.
"I don't care what you have to say I'm getting you something" Ian said.
"I know that, I was going to tell you that I need a new song book, mine is full. So you better not come home with out a new song book for me" I said.
"Ok Bells one new song book coming up" Ian said laughing and with that I hung up my phone laughing as well.
AN: so tell me what you think about this chapter.