Author's Note: Thanks for hanging in there with that last Chapter. That's why I'm posting this one so promptly - to purge 9. Please be aware that this one, too, contains some violence (Bill is vampire) and rough (albeit consensual) sex.
I'm grateful to all the people following my story and to those who are kind enough to respond.
Ms. Harris and Mr. Ball, respectfully, created Dead Until Dark and True Blood; I'm merely playing with their toys and will promptly return them.
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Night Ten
I awoke to the sound of rain, a steady symphony of thousands of tiny drums beating their own unique rhythms. It wasn't a gradual awakening like when I was human, when my consciousness slowly over-powered my dreams, and I stretched and enjoyed the quiet feeling of being alive before I opened my eyes. One moment, there was nothing because I was dead, and then there was the feel of the wet earth pressing around me.
I felt an immense sadness and sense of loss coming from Sookie, but I was paralyzed by my own disgust. At myself, not only for what I'd done the night before, but for all the lives I took. My mind's capacity for memories was infinite, and as I felt the rain seeping deeper into the ground, I mentally moved through my personal Hall of Horrors.
***
It had been raining the night I first arose vampire. I remember lying in bed with Lorena, my body simultaneously freezing and on fire from within, and then I woke to the pounding of rain above me, buried naked in mud.
"Augh!" I screamed, my skin feeling the wet particles of earth, my throat burning with a pain I'd never felt as a human. My own voice echoed loudly in my ears, and I panicked, swallowing mouthfuls of dirt as I struggled to breathe. I felt Lorena's arms tighten around me, and I realized I was cradled in her arms like a child.
"William," Lorena said, her lips touching my ear. "Don't be afraid. Just push your way out."
I pushed with my feet. Through a red haze of burning desire that I didn't understand, it occurred to me that I shouldn't be able to do this. We were too deep; the wet soil was too heavy. But I brushed it aside as easily as dust on the surface of a table, and before I realized it, I was standing naked in the rain.
Lorena came up from the ground and stood before me, smiling as she gazed at my naked body. She smelled like nothing I'd ever smelled before, something cool and dry and just a little bit sweet. Before I knew what was happening, my fangs slid into place for the first time. They cut into my bottom lip and drew blood. At the scent and taste of my own blood, I was immediately aroused, and I had to have her.
Instinctively, I hissed and lunged. She didn't move to defend herself or stop me, and the force of my blow threw us both to the ground. We sank into the mud as I thrust inside of her. I was so hard it hurt, and I grunted and groaned and panted as I tried to relieve the unbearable pressure. The sensations of the mud, the spattering of rain running down my back, her wet tightness, the sound of the rain, the flashes of lightening lighting up the clouds, the dirt in my mouth: it was so overwhelming I only registered pain.
A tiny nagging in the back of my mind wondered what I was and why I felt this way and asked what I was doing with this woman I didn't know, but I was powerless to stop myself. Lorena wrapped her legs around me, allowing me to penetrate even deeper, and her heels pushed against my bottom as I thrust. Her nails scraped my back, and I roared when I felt her draw blood. Without thinking about it, I sunk my new fangs into her neck and frantically swallowed her blood. She came within seconds, causing my own release, and as her wounds began to heal, the burning inside me was tentatively held at bay.
After I'd come inside her, I rolled off and laid in the mud, the rain coming down on my face. I held my hands before my eyes, and even in the darkness, I could see the red cuticles, and I used stranger's fingers to touch my fangs. They were long and sharp, and I poked my fingertip with one, watching the blood sluggishly ooze out before the wound miraculously closed.
"What am I?" I whispered.
Lorena was sitting up, watching me with undisguised pleasure. The rain washed clean streaks on her flawless skin, her white flesh faintly glowing in the darkness. "You are mine," she said.
"What does that mean?"
"I made you vampire, William, and you will be mine forever."
"Vampire?" I sighed.
She smiled and nodded.
"Vampire? Like in the stories?"
"Some of the stories are true, but some of them aren't," she said. "I'll teach you."
"But you said I could go home."
She laughed. "I never said that. I said you would die if you didn't drink, which was the truth. You would have. But you did drink, and now you are mine."
"I just want to go home," I said.
"Oh William," she said. "I am your home."
Before I could respond, I smelled the sweetest scent I'd ever known, and I heard two delicious wet thumps like a cadence to lead me towards it. I sat up, sniffing the air and locating the aroma. Lorena said nothing, only smiled and watched, but I was barely aware of her. I knew if I could locate that smell, those sounds, the pain in my chest and my throat would be gone. I honed in on it, and I got up and ran, surprised at how quickly I moved. In seconds, I'd found the source: a young black woman attempting to protect a baby from the worst of the storm. Her eyes grew wide when she saw me, appearing suddenly before her naked and muddy.
I ripped out the woman's throat in my eagerness to taste her, and I swooned as her blood pumped, hot and sweet, down my throat. It all happened so quickly the baby didn't react as it watched with wide, liquid brown eyes. Within seconds, the woman was dry, and I licked the last of the blood from her neck before turning to the baby. It cried when I pulled it from its mother's dead arms, but the little cry quickly ended as I sucked the life from it. The child's blood was even sweeter than the woman's, and I cradled its little body to my mouth, my tongue eagerly catching every drop.
It wasn't until I was done and the burn had left my chest that I looked down at the two bodies. Both stared up at me with empty eyes. I squatted down next to them, not believing what I'd just done. My fangs retracted as I touched the baby's dead cheek.
"My God," I shuddered. "What have I done?" I heard Lorena behind me, and she quietly laughed. "What am I?" I demanded, turning to face her.
Thunder clapped loudly, and the night-sky crackled with bolts of light and energy. "You are mine," she repeated.
***
The rain gradually stopped, but I didn't move to come up from the ground. It had been years since I'd taken to the ground during the day, and my discomfort seemed like a pitifully small penance for the previous night. Malcolm was correct – I had tortured Sookie's uncle. I thought of the feel of Sookie's shame, her feelings strong enough to be my own. I remembered Hadley's sad expression, and I wondered if he'd had her as well. Maybe that had precipitated her ending up in the palace feeding room. Last night, punishing him for the harm he'd inflicted on Sookie and countless other little girls seemed like the right thing to do. But I hadn't killed in self-defense. He wasn't a danger to Sookie, and I killed him anyway.
In the war, it was kill or be killed. As a newborn vampire, my instincts overwhelmed me, and I killed on accident. But not since I'd left Lorena had I killed for the pleasure of watching someone die.
The weight of my many lifetimes worth of sins pressed heavier than the wet earth as I vowed that I would not, I could not, ever be that man again. Not for anything.
Footsteps on the earth above shook me from my thoughts. I listened to the hesitant steps, and then to sound of kneeling and quiet tears. I knew it was Sookie, but why was she in the cemetery tonight? This was the old section, where my wife and parents and brother and sister were buried. My own memorial stone was nearby. Why was she here and not over in the newer section by her grandmother's fresh grave?
I listened as her steps retreated back towards her house, and I needed to see her, to be with her. I knew I should wait until she'd passed because I would scare her, coming up from the ground like a zombie in a bad horror film, but I couldn't wait. I pushed my way up, and I reached out to touch her foot as she walked past.
Sookie shrieked when she felt my cool hand on her skin, and she slipped on the wet ground. I gently pulled her leg, trying to get her to turn around so she knew it was me, but I felt her hysteria in the bond. She was on her stomach in the mud when I cleared my head, digging her nails into the earth as she tried to escape my grasp.
"Sookie," I said.
She stopped screaming and turned to face me. She brushed the dirty hair from my eyes, and I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and desire which only ignited my own. She was here. She wanted me. Someone as good as Sookie wanted me.
I kissed her desperately, not bothering to wipe the mud from my skin, and she kissed back, her tongue dancing with mine as she sucked my bottom lip into her mouth. She sobbed as she held onto me, as if she thought at any moment I'd disappear.
I hadn't fed the night before, and I hadn't had her, and her need was so evident, and even though I knew she deserved a soft bed and gentle romance, I threw her leg over my hip and untied the straps of her dress, exposing one glorious breast to the moonlight. I threw her leg over my hip and thrust into her. She was so very tight and so very hot and so very wet already, and she was mine.
My fangs couldn't click into place fast enough, and as I moved to bite her, she spoke for the first time: "Not the neck," she said. I hesitated only briefly before burying them into the brachial artery under her arm. I suckled desperately, losing myself in the heaven that was her blood, crying out in both pleasure and pain as I tore myself away.
She wrapped her legs around me, and she dug her hells into my hips as I thrust even deeper inside her, and it was my first night in the mud and the rain all over again. I was reborn, this time with Sookie, who smelled of the sun and faintly of flowers, and all that was innocent and pure could be mine if only I could love her and love her and love her and love her and maybe, just maybe, if I were good enough and loved her enough, maybe she could love me in return.
I waited until I felt her internal muscles begin to clench around me, and then I let myself go, feeding on her arm as I came.
The wind blew random drops of rain onto my back as I licked the puncture marks in her arm closed. Then I pierced my tongue with my fangs and licked the bite marks on her neck, bathing them in my blood until the healed.
She lay shuddering on the ground, and I cradled her in my arms, picked up my wet clothes and shoes from the night before, and sped back to the house and up the stairs. I dropped my wet things into a corner of the bathroom and ran the shower, the steam quickly wafting out from between the curtain. I set her down inside and climbed in behind her, carefully washing away all the dirt and mud and blood. She softly moaned as I massaged the shampoo into her hair, and as soon as she was clean and rinsed, I picked her up, wrapped her legs around my waist, and lowered her onto my erection.
We both gasped as I filled her, and she arched her head back, sending the shower spray everywhere. I was determined to be more gentle this time, but she stuck her thumb in my mouth, and I bit down on it gently. She cried out as my fang entered her flesh, and I suckled the small wound as I thrust harder. She grabbed onto the shower curtain, pulling it down in her haste, but I didn't stop to turn off the water. I supported her back as once again she arched away from me, and I pounded into her as I felt her second orgasm beginning.
The water still running, I flashed to the floor, and brought her up on her hands and knees as I continued to pleasure us both. Her bottom was perfectly shaped, the flesh turning pink as my thighs slapped against it. I circled her clit with my thumb, pinching it as I bit into the soft spot between her shoulders. She came immediately as I sucked, her release milking my own, and we both collapsed onto a pile on the floor.
Not ready to be finished, I turned off the water and quickly toweled us both. Sookie alternated between going limp in my arms and rubbing up against me. Her hot hand tentatively rested on my chest as I toweled her hair, slowly stroking downwards.
"Yes, Sookie," I whispered, covering her hand with mine and moving her lower. "Touch me." She grasped me with one hand, using the other to softly cup my testicles. I scooped her up once again, and we tumbled to the bed in a heap of tangled limbs.
My fingers stroked into her wetness, and I nibbled and licked her breasts, careful to keep my fangs from nicking her, before working my way down her belly, my tongue leaving goosebumps as I licked.
"Bill," she panted.
I reached inside as far as I could with two fingers, sucking and swirling her swollen clit with my tongue. She writhed on the bed, pulling at the sheets and bucking her hips into my hand. I added a third finger, searching for her secret soft spot. When I found it, gently stroking it with my fingers, she screamed out and came, her muscles tightly contracting around my hand. As she lay there shuddering, I carefully licked all her fluids from her sensitive flesh, gently blowing my cool breath to make her shiver and moan.
Once again, I carefully matched my breathing to hers, and I laid my head on her chest, listening to the wild thumping of her heart slowly calm back to normal. She shifted slightly and cleared her throat.
"What's wrong?" I asked, lifting my head and looking at her. She blushed, the bouquet of her scent flooding to the surface of her sweaty face. "Did I hurt you?"
"Oh no," she quickly said. "So far from hurting…"
"What is it?" I gently prodded.
"Um… Could I have a few minutes in private?"
"Are you alright?"
"This is so embarrassing," she sighed, looking away. "Can you please go downstairs so I can have a… a human… moment."
"Of course," I said as I realized what she was asking. I quickly stood and offered her my hand to help her to her feet. "I'll go get you a snack. Please, make yourself comfortable."
She smiled. "Thank you."
I left at human speed, walking down the stairs and towards the kitchen. I smiled and shook my head at her sense of modesty. I could still hear her using the restroom from downstairs, and why she thought I wouldn't be able to, or that I would be uncomfortable or she would be shy after everything else we'd shared was puzzling and endearing. I found it oddly pleasant to know that Sookie was just as baffling as the women I knew when I was human. I whistled, something I hadn't done in decades, as I gathered up various things for her to eat and drink. I waited until I heard her go back into the bedroom before returning.
She laughed when I walked in. "Why do you walk around naked?" she asked. She'd put on one of my ling-sleeved Henleys, leaving the three buttons undone. It was pale blue and looked beautiful on her.
I shrugged. "It's my house. You don't like the view?" I teased, slowly turning in a circle.
She laughed. "It's quite lovely, now that you mention it." I opened one of the bottles of water and handed it to her, along with two vitamins. She steadily swallowed until it was empty, and I handed her one of the little organic milks she liked so much. "You need a refrigerator," she said. "This is good." She took a deep pull on the straw. "But I bet it's even better really cold."
I nodded. "Maybe you can help me pick one out."
She blushed and nodded. I crawled into bed, settling my head into her lap. I rested the bowl of almonds and dried cherries on my chest and fed her the pieces one at a time. She giggled as she ate, nipping and licking my fingers in between chewing. When that was gone, I opened two small squares of dark chocolate and fed her bites, listening to the pleasant sound of her chewing and the gurgling of her stomach digesting. She sighed with contentment and drank the second bottle of water.
"Why were you in the cemetery?" I finally asked when she was finished.
"You don't know?" she quietly said.
"Know what? I was in the ground, and then you were there…" She blushed as I smiled up at her. "I have been otherwise engaged since then."
"Oh Bill," she said, and she gently stroked my hair, her voice dropping to a whisper. "It was awful..."
"What was?" She shook her head and closed her eyes. "Please tell me," I gently prodded.
"I thought…" Her voice cracked, and a single tear escaped her closed eyes. She swallowed several times before continuing. "I thought you were dead."
"I am dead," I said.
She shook her head again. "No. Dead dead."
"Why would you think that?" She didn't answer, and I sat up and faced her. I took her hands in my mine. "Look at me, Sookie. Please." She opened her eyes. "What happened?"
"They burned the house."
"What house?"
"The house Malcolm and Diane and… I don't even know what his name was…"
"Liam," I added.
She nodded. "Liam. Their house in Bon Temps. Some guys from the bar burned it this morning. Didn't you get my messages?"
"My phone is in the car," I said. I pulled away and looked at her. "Their house burned?" I couldn't believe it.
Sookie nodded. "Yes. And they died. All three of them. There was a fourth coffin, a fourth body. I thought it was you…"
"It was a boy," I quietly said, thinking of the coroner's assistent locked into the extra coffin. "A human boy they had with them." Sookie didn't respond, but looked at me with wide eyes. "They're finally dead?" She nodded. "How do you know?"
"I heard the rednecks plotting at Merlotte's. And I called you, but you weren't answering."
"I left my phone in the car," I repeated.
"So when I got off work, I came here."
"Sweetheart," I said, crushing her to me as tightly as I dared without hurting her. "Why on earth would you do that if you knew vampires were being attacked. What if they had come here next?"
"That's what I was afraid of," Sookie said. "I didn't know where you were, but I thought, if they did come, I could either stop them or save you or… I don't know. I would've done something."
"Sookie," I said, not understanding how one human girl could be so incredibly brave and incredibly stupid at the same time.
"And then I heard the sirens," she continued. "So I went towards them, and I saw the four coffins, and I thought…" She sobbed then, her body shaking against me as she wept. "I thought you'd died too," she finally said.
I didn't speak, just held her while she cried. After a few minutes she stopped, and once again I listened while her breathing returned to normal.
"Sookie," I said. "You have to promise me you'll never do that again."
She pulled away from my embrace and glared at me. "What would you have me do?" she demanded.
"You can't put yourself at risk like that," I gently stated. "I can take care of myself."
"Not always," she said. "I've known you less than two weeks, and already I saved you from the Rats, who would've drained you and left you to die. I saved you from getting infected by that terrible Jerry-person…" Her voice trailed off. "Do I want to know what happened to him?" she quietly asked. I shook my head no, and she shuddered. "And, if they had come here after they burned the other house, I would've thought of something. I would've done something."
"Sookie, listen," I pled.
"You listen," she interrupted, her face determined. "That's what you do for the people you care about. You look out for them. You would've done the same for me." I nodded, knowing I would risk anything for her. "Why is it okay for you to save me, but not for me to save you?"
"Sookie," I began, uncertain of how to explain myself. "I've been alone for a long time…"
"How long?" she quietly asked.
"Over seventy years," I said. She solemnly nodded. "It's difficult for me to rely on someone else."
She laid back and pulled me down next to her. I put my arm around her, and she snuggled into my chest. "It's new for me, too," she said. "We'll just have to figure it out as we go along."
I smiled. "I would like that."
She kissed my nipple and whispered, "good."
We didn't talk anymore, and I listened as her breathing grew steady and her limbs went limp around me. I knew I needed to call Eric and tell him about the fire. I was certain he already knew about it, and our bond, however small, would be enough that he would know I was fine, but I could fill in some of the details. I should tidy the bathroom. I used the rain as an excuse to not head over the burned nest, knowing that any scents would've been washed away by now. Sookie could tell me who was responsible anyway, if I asked her. I wasn't convinced I wanted to know.
Part of me felt a deep loss, not for Liam, who was only a few years old. I didn't know his last name or who his Maker was or how he'd ended up with Malcolm and Diane. I'd only interacted with him a handful of times, and I'd found him dull. But Malcolm and Diane, for all our disagreements, were my friends. They brought the tragedy upon themselves, as I tried to warn them would happen, but that didn't make it less shocking. I'd known Malcolm my whole vampire life, and I knew how much Lorena cared for him. Loved him, even. And now they were gone.
Beyond mourning their deaths, I easily could've been in that house. That mob could've come here next. Sookie could've been hurt. The house my father built, the house I was trying to reclaim as my home, could've been destroyed. What if humans everywhere rose up against us. Despite the brilliant campaign of misinformation the AVL was spreading, our weakness would become known. We could all be hunted down, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Maybe the religious fanatics were right - maybe we didn't belong here. Maybe we did need to be destroyed.
I sighed and held Sookie tighter and renewed my vow to not kill anyone else except in self-defense or in defense of Sookie. I would live a good life. I would bury my past, and I would earn this second chance, this miracle who slept so trustingly in my arms. I could find my way back. I could atone. I could be forgiven.
I stayed with her as long as I dared before easing out from under her, carefully covering her with the blanket. She sighed, her hand ghosting across the sheets where my body had been and frowned slightly in her sleep. I silently dressed. I left the unopened water on the nightstand, but removed all the empties and the trash. I quickly mopped up the water on the bathroom floor with a couple of towels and threw them into the hamper with my wet clothes from the cemetery. Then I flashed to my car, put my watch back on and pocketed my phone. There were eight missed calls, but I didn't have time to listen to them now. I locked the front door behind me and settled in for the day. I smiled in the dark, listening to Sookie's gentle breathing and beating heart above me as the dawn approached.