A/N: Writer's block sucks. Nothing worse than knowing what you want to do but not having the words to do it. Thank you for all the checking in, all the well-wishes, all the support, and all the attempted help. Every last one of you is fantastic to me and I'm so glad I finally have this (shorter than normal) chapter to share. I can only hope it lives up to the wait. Let me know, yeah? Oh, and thanks to Wendi(holygoof101) for help with the medical details. I'm sure it's not completely accurate but I hope it's close enough.

Disclaimer: Don't own, haven't magically acquired, blah blah blah. What Finn texts Rachel at the end is sort of mostly like an actual song but I'm not telling you any more about it yet for reasons I'll explain in the story. Chapter title is also taken from that song, so...

Chapter Ten: Learn to Distinguish From False Alarms

The details that came in over the next couple days were pretty intense; she couldn't Skype him because she left her computer in the office and it was obviously gone. She had been pretty good about texting whenever she wanted to tell him something because it physically hurt to hear her voice and he told her that; it didn't totally stop her from calling and he was glad. He had looked into airfare so he could get there, but it wasn't doable at all. Plus, he still had an obligation to the band and she was in the ICU; he couldn't even get in to be with her because they were still waiting for the 'official' copies of the wedding license that proved they were married and they wouldn't let him in if he wasn't a member of her family. (Though suddenly, because of crap like this, being married seemed like the best idea ever.) He got her approval and ordered her a new computer, had it sent to their apartment, and listed his car for sale. He owned it outright and it would give him plenty of money to cover the one-way ticket on such short notice. He wasn't coming back from London after this until she was with him. That was just kind of a given.

She had been in the ICU since they intubated her (he was learning medical terminology now and also hated every second of it), and would remain there for at least a couple more days because she had pneumonia as a result of being on a ventilator. She could barely talk, let alone sing, and they had no idea how it would affect her future singing. It was a case where only time would tell how extensive the damage to her respiratory tract was even if they had no reason to think anything was permanent. He was still just thanking God she hadn't been burned or anything else on top of it.

The others in her office had made it out with various degree of injuries and smoke inhalation, but they were all mostly okay. They had lost the vast majority of the work they had done because, due to some bad luck, Rachel had taken both flash drives and her laptop to work with her that morning as they were preparing to start printing the official sheet music. Bridget had grabbed one of her notebooks as she left, Matt had grabbed a couple with overall production notes, but that was it; the rest of their work was gone.

"Click the button again," Brandon said.

Finn rolled his eyes over to the other guy. "Would you shut up?"

Brandon sighed. "Yeah, yeah, yeah—whatever. I know you don't give a shit if this happens for us because your goal is to record all the drum fills in one day and then be gone. I know. Click it!"

This time at least Finn rolled his eyes and laughed. The other guys in the band had been surprisingly patient with him and they were actually kind of open to the idea of auditioning for the musical in West End. His priorities had taken a swift kick to the ass in the last week and they all knew it; it meant that, for Day Job to stay together, they would all have to make sacrifices because he made it clear that, while he wanted to be involved, he was not sacrificing being with his wife anymore. Largely, they were okay with that. They just had to see this other thing through first.

They were refreshing the radio station's website to see which bands had sold the most stuff and been voted the best by the audience from the previous weekend. There were only four out of eight bands moving on to record three more songs and so far they'd been in fifth place so they were right on the border of losing and 'I don't know'. The margin so far had been really, really narrow, too. That wasn't helping.

"You're too fucking slow, Hudson," Brandon said, reaching around Finn to tap on the mousepad on Josh's computer. Finn, Josh, and Craig were sitting on Josh's couch and Brandon was standing directly behind Finn, which made it easy for the two of them to start the slap fight. That's exactly what Finn did.

"Back the fuck off," Finn said, slapping Brandon's free hand with his as he clicked on the refresh button again.

The page took almost a full extra minute to load. The first thing any of them noticed was that the headline on the page had changed. All four of them breathed in at the same time and held it as Finn scrolled down.

They had placed third overall once the audience votes were counted. They were on to the next round.

It was like five o'clock on Monday and they had met at Josh's with the assumption (mostly on Brandon's part) they would progress. Finn smiled as he stood up, resting the laptop carefully on the coffee table before he started pulling away from the group.

"Hang on," Josh said to him as he disappeared into the kitchen. Finn knew where Josh was going—pregaming—and he didn't want to actually explain the feeling that washed over him when he saw the results, so he did what he was told. 'Cause hanging on was kinda the last thing he actually wanted to do, or at least a close second after hanging out.

Life was such a fucking mess. Having more shit to do just kind of made it a complicated fucking mess and he just…he knew he should be happy with their accomplishment like the other guys were. The problem was that he wanted to go home. At some point, because Rachel was there, he had started to consider London his home. He couldn't even say some point like he didn't know exactly what had done it. He was honestly trying to decide, if they progressed further in the competition, if he might tell the guys they should start looking for another drummer. He didn't want to do it if she wasn't there with him. He didn't want anything else to happen while he was half a world away.

Her time was measured in vital statistics and breathing treatments for the time being. He wanted to be there with her for all of them. True, her dad was having his heart surgery that week and he had promised to actually be there. He had promised to get Rachel there, too, but she wasn't even allowed out of ICU with pneumonia, let alone allowed to fly five hours and then sit with her dad who was having open heart surgery. Even that promise he would trade, though, if it meant he could be with her. He was quickly getting to the point he would do anything to be there; he'd joked with Katie about selling a kidney but…

Josh was back and handing everyone a shot glass. He figured at the least it would take the edge off. Maybe. He tossed it back in time with Josh's toast, even though he missed the words, and blinked blankly when they started discussing where they wanted to go. For the first time ever, he didn't really want to go with them. Brandon turned to him for an opinion and Finn had to actually refocus his ears on the conversation.

"…wherever you think 'cause you always know the good places since Q worked at the high school."

Finn frowned. "Yeah, except it's been a while since I even talked to her or…y'know… lived here so… I dunno." He kind of hoped Brandon had been asking about a bar on account of he wasn't paying attention. It didn't totally matter though because his answer was neutral.

"You okay?" Josh asked, quietly and off to the side while Brandon and Craig were busy outlining a pub crawl; it sounded ridiculous considering it was six in the evening on Monday in Columbus, but whatever.

Finn sighed and looked over at his friend. He hadn't bothered to fill anyone in on the small detail that Rachel wasn't actually pregnant, and it just occurred to him in that moment. He had let them all know she was alive and something less than okay, but she would be fine. He'd also made no major secret of his desire to get to her quickly.

"Yeah," Finn said. "I just…"

"Kinda wanted us not to go on in the contest," Josh finished. "And you want to run and hide in your room and text Rachel."

"I was actually planning on calling her," Finn said softly, keeping his voice low. He didn't want to draw extra attention to his not being excited. Part of him was—really. He knew it was a big accomplishment and an awesome thing for them. He just needed to get eyes and hands on his wife and help her until she was totally better because she'd just been through hell and he wasn't even there for her. The feeling he had failed her was really starting to overwhelm him and he just needed to get out; by out he meant he needed to get out of Ohio, out of the U.S. He wanted to go home and he had no idea when the place he thought of as home had changed.

Brandon's phone rang and it became immediately obvious the caller was Colby Middleton, the guy they had hired on as a manager. Their performance, whether they ended up winning the contest or not, had gotten them some press and a lot more attention than they'd had before. It was good to have someone who could keep it organized. Colby was someone Brandon knew from…wherever…and he seemed like a good guy for the job. His call also provided enough of a distraction that Finn retreated to call Rachel.

The London Chest (yes, that's what the hospital was called and he was afraid he was losing his sense of humor because he hadn't even cracked a smile when he found out) typically didn't allow callers outside of a certain timeframe. They had been really understanding of his and Rachel's situation though, so he had no doubt her cell phone was available and on.

"Hello?" She answered, basically at the last possible second. He sat down on his bed and smiled. Also, he could breathe out so he did that, too.

"Hey," he said. He could almost feel his body relaxing a little. "How are you?"

She just groaned and he closed his eyes. He knew the antibiotics they'd given her for the pneumonia were making her maybe even sicker than the other stuff. Apparently, the particular kind of pneumonia she had was one of the kinds that people died from pretty regularly, so they'd promised she wouldn't be leaving the hospital any time soon.

"That doesn't sound good."

"I'm just frustrated," she admitted quietly. "I want to go home."

"I'm trying to get there," he said. He dropped his face into his free hand. "I really, really want to be there."

"I know," she sighed. "I just…the antibiotics they've been given me aren't working so they have to figure something else out I guess."

"I'm sorry," he replied immediately; those were the only words he could say and even those sounded pathetic.

She was quiet for a while. Just in the last two days, he'd gotten used to hearing different things in her breathing because her breathing was mostly loud at least. The silence almost made him come undone, but then she was talking and her voice was low. "I'm…I'm not very good at relying on other people."

He was pretty sure she was crying and his chest automatically felt heavy. "What do you mean?"

"The first time…" she was nearly breathless and it was taking her a second to get the words out. "The first time we were together…we were so co-dependent." Long pause. "I promised I would never be that way with anyone again."

He licked his lips and tilted his head to the side. She did this thing where she said something and that was just the start of what she really meant by it. It wasn't that she lied or that she even left stuff out on purpose, she just…she called it being understated. He called it being a pain the ass. But right now, he was looking for what she meant that could've been above and beyond what she was saying.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean," he admitted slowly.

"I broke my promise, Finn. I need you." She was definitely crying. She was whispering and her voice was even giving out entirely as she talked.

There were times in his life when he swore he'd felt his heart break. Like it was a for-real, physical thing. He was an idiot before because now he knew what it felt like.

He let out a deep breath and made a promise that he had no idea how he'd keep, but even when he said it, he knew he'd figure it out because she had really asked very little of him. "Then I'll get there," was all he said.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" He asked and he sniffled a little. "You didn't…you haven't done anything wrong. Fact is I should've been on a plane as soon as I knew something happened and I…I'm selfish."

"Finn," she sighed. "No you're not. I am."

"It's not selfish that you want me there," he said. "It's not. I will get there as fast as I can, okay?" His bedroom door wasn't all the way closed, but Katie opened it slowly and he saw it swinging out before he saw her. "I, um…I just. Give me until tomorrow morning my time, okay? I just have to make some arrangements." He waved Katie into the room and she entered slowly.

"Okay," Rachel agreed with a sniffle. He didn't want to wait to make arrangements or anything; he just wanted to be there. Long-distance, separation, whatever—not worth it.

"Will you have your doctor call and explain this stuff to me?" He asked. He didn't want to make her talk any more than necessary and he really didn't entirely understand.

"Sure," she agreed. She let out a long sigh. "I better go. It's late," she said.

He didn't want to let her go. He wanted to keep her on the phone forever. "Okay," he said. "I'll call you in a little bit when I have plans. I love you." His voice was soft enough he knew it was making Katie uncomfortable to sit by him while he was being all…like…husbandly. Rachel returned the affection and he hung up and sighed.

"The guys are ready to leave," Katie said evenly. "They're just waiting on you." She patted his shoulder and rubbed his back a little and it really didn't make him feel better.

"I don't feel like going," he admitted. He shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face. "I didn't even tell her we're recording more…I just…she's so sad. I'm, like, really bad at being married because I don't even know what to say to her since I'm sad, too."

"As long as you care about how she feels, you aren't bad at being married," Katie said with a shrug. "But you know you need to go."

"I know, I just don't know how to," he looked over at her. "I don't have the money for one thing. The only credit card I had was actually Quinn's and I…" he shook his head. "I mean, I'm not going there obviously and there's a guy who said he might want my car but that's gonna take time to come through if it works and I can't leave them without a drummer to do this shit and—"

"—do you even remember how to breathe anymore?" Katie said, cutting him off in the middle of a panic attack waiting to happen. He'd never really had one before Rachel got hurt, but now…now he knew he didn't really want to have any ever again, so he kind of appreciated it. She was patting at his back but it was almost like she was smacking him around a little. "Most important thing first—getting you a ticket. Do you want to borrow money from me? I can spot you to get you there and then when that guy pays you or whenever, you can pay me back."

Finn shook his head. "I can't…I just. Thank you, Kate, but I can't take money from you."

"What about Rachel? Would she…"

He shook his head again. "I don't know. I mean, we haven't really talked much about money stuff yet and the plane ticket to get there and back before kinda wiped me out, you know? She made the arrangements to get us to New York and I have no idea how she did that…" the longer he talked, the worse he actually felt so he shut up.

"Okay, well…" Katie said briskly. "You're making this hard, so what's the next reason you can't go?"

"The band," he said. He held his phone up and looked over at her. "Oh. I mean, I didn't even tell Rachel about that."

Katie nodded. "Well…there's not much that can be done about that," she said with a sigh. "Josh has been really worried you were going to leave and…you know at least he would quit the contest altogether if you wanted to go, don't you?"

"I know, but I can't let him do that," he said sadly. "They've all worked hard for it and…and up 'til now I've been on board 'cause there's not much I wouldn't give up for it to work out. I think the band is what I want to do with my life." He let out a long breath because he hadn't admitted that to anyone. It was weird that he felt like admitting it to Katie now when he hadn't told Rachel any of it. Then again, he was pretty sure Rachel already knew. Katie stopped smacking at his back and was back to rubbing again. "I would give it up for her. I would leave right now if I could. What does that say about me?"

Her hand slips off him and lands in her lap. "It says you love someone more than yourself," she said quietly. "We really need to find a way to get you there." He just nodded and looked over at her with a small smile. "Well, okay. I'm going to go tell them to go without you because you're seriously no fun and then I'll start trying to hand you the solution to your own problem. Deal?"

She was already moving to leave the room, and he laughed a little even though he wanted to cry. In some ways, he knew she was annoying as hell. But in other ways, like when he was the guy that needed a push, he was really glad she was pushy. "Yeah, thanks." Plus, she was laughing as she walked out, too.

He hadn't gotten to the third good reason he couldn't go, and that was Rachel's dad. Leroy was scheduled for his surgery in two days (he'd been delayed a little because of the stress from Rachel's incident, which seemed backwards to Finn but the doctor had been intractable on it, insisting Leroy's already-solid chances of a good outcome were far more favorable if he was relaxed when he went into surgery) and Finn had promised Rachel would be there. It was pretty clear he would have to be the substitute since there was no way, even if she were out of the hospital, she would be there. He'd thought about trying to set up a Skype video chat of some kind, but she didn't have a computer. He still wasn't sure what he was going to do there and was kind of hoping Leroy would tolerate that promise being broken but have the surgery anyway.

It seemed so hopeless, honestly. He had buried himself under reasons he couldn't go without managing to change the fact that she needed him and he wanted—no, needed –to be there for her. He dropped back onto the bed, his phone pressed to his chest just in case someone called him to offer a magic solution. Like…well, evaporating like in Harry Potter or something was clearly ridiculous. It seemed like he spent at least a week out of every school year convincing the 10-and 11-year-olds in his class that Hagrid wasn't going to magically come and get them and take them to a school that proved they were special; they had to figure it out on their own. That didn't mean he actually had the answers. It also didn't mean he didn't let his mind wander now, finding childlike solutions that he wished were true.

What if he had some sort of a time turner thing and could find a way to balance everything he wanted and everything he needed? What if he could just go to Rachel without considering everything else? What if… what if… what if… what if the phone were some sort of magical transporting device and he could just, like, shrink down through the speaker and pop out on her side of the world? Then he could come back when the band needed him the same way. It would be fast, it would be free and it would be… magic.

He was pretty sure magic didn't exist or at least that he didn't believe in it. But what if…

It was fast, the words that came to him. It was impulsive and he didn't care. He needed to let it out. So he sat up and fired the words off to her before he could consider what it even meant or what he was doing.

If I could I would shrink down, and fit through the holes, through the rubber and plastic. That'd be fantastic. I'd crawl through the phone lines and set off all the alarms if it meant I could land there in your arms.

He wasn't sure what it could possibly be, other than a promise to get there. He wanted to do it and he'd find a way. He didn't give up so easily; he never had and he sure as hell wasn't gonna start with this.