Dear Diary,
So... a recount of yesterday...
: LIKE ZOMG IT'S A FLASHBACK BITCHES :
"Yo Gil, y'ready yet?"
"Calm your tits, dude! Gimme a sec!" Gilbird called.
"Hurry the fuck up, dammit!"
A few moments later, the tiny little cream puff- I mean Gilbard – flew into the living room carrying two beers (HOW THE HELL DID HE DO THAT?).
"Refreshments a la the Awesome Me!" He chirped happily.
"Finally." Tony grabbed one of the cans. "Let's get this bitch started!"
"Ew, you sound like you're gonna fu-"
"SHUT UP!" The little birde was cut off by a smack to the back that sent him flying towards the computer screen.
"The fuck was that for?" Gilbird yelled as he fluffed up in anger.
"You've been hanging out too much with that Frenchie bastard! You're even talking like him, goddammit! Now STFU so we can play!" Tony replied with a whine.
"Not until you apologize to the Awesome Me."
"GILBIRD."
"Fine." He conceded. He entered the menu and clicked on the option 'Start New Game'.
"This shit's gonna be TIGHT." Gilbird jumped excitedly as Tony took control of the mouse and created a profile.
A couple minutes later, "Hey, it's just weird ass dialogue. This ain't so bad.," the alien remarked. His character, Daniel, stumbled around and the screen faded to black.
However, as the game progressed...
"Goddamn, how much fucking oil am I using? And what the fuck is with that red stuff?" Tony, now irritated, clicked his tinderbox to light the wall candles. He wouldn't admit it, but the creepy whispers were putting him on edge.
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"I-Is that someone being hacked to death?" Gilbird shuddered at the screams of a helpless victim echoing in the stone halls.
"Iono, j-just let me play!"
The two friends continued navigating around the castle. Aside from random flashbacks (usually of people dying, being brutally murdered, and shit like that), it wasn't as bad as they thought.
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"Did you hear that?"
"HOLY SHIT WTF IS THAT?"
"Wh- FUCK WHAT IS THAT? IT'S CHASING ME!"
"SCHEIßE, RUN LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER VERDAMMT RUN!"
" EEEEUUUUUUGGGHHHHHHH!"
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And then the game ended.
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When Tony shot his computer with a laser.
: BACK TO ZE PRESENT BITCHES :
... Yeah...
*totally did not sleep with the lights on and gun next to me*
Tony