In the dining hall after dinner I am approached by Ryan who wears an apologetic expression on his face. I can't help but cringe at the awkwardness of this situation. He hangs his head slightly as he talks.
"Look I'm sorry I kissed you. But I'm not. Ugh no matter how I say this its wrong" he says throwing up his hands exasperated at his sudden inability to tell me what he's thinking. "I just don't want things between us to become awkward or more than it is now."
Really should have thought of that before.
"So kissing me was a mistake?"
"No I didn't mean ugh. I just came to say I know where my relationship with you stands and that is friends"
"just friends" I say raising my eyebrows
"just best friends" I nod in agreement. I want to give him a hug but I'm afraid it might send the wrong message. Although it is something I normally do anyway. Now it is awkward, damn it.
"I really did have to leave then though. I had kitchen duty. I wasn't just running away. I just wanted to leave this place with happy memories but I guess it could have been worse"
"yeah you could have been on barn clean out"
"even worse I could have been on barn clean out with you"
"shut up I'm better company than your brother"
"anybody is better company than Liam" I glance out the huge glass windows. The night is slowly starting to fall and the red sky blazes through leaves in the nearby trees lighting the whole room in its glow.
"So your leaving amity then"
"what?"
"You said you wanted happy memories to leave with" trust him to pick up on that comment.
"yeah maybe I guess. You?" Ryan bowed his head and mumbled something unintelligible.
I guess I'll find out his choice tomorrow. We spend another hour or so just sitting in the dining room talking about mindless things and watching the sun fade away in a beautiful way I can only describe as amity.