A/N: See, I'm still updating. based on the current schedule of updates, I have high hopes that Ill finish this before five years are up.

Susan knew that a lot of people didn't take her seriously, that her attitude and frequent, unusual squawk of a laugh that she was only the slightest bit self-conscious about often made people think that she could be safely ignored, that she was just another background character in their life.

This meant, of course, that they would never see her coming. After all, who would suspect Susan Bones, happy little Hufflepuff, when there were haughty, nasty Slytherins around?

And she was stalking the haughtiest, most arrogant of them all.

Susan got a few strange looks as she stalked Blaise Zabini down the fourth floor corridor. She wasn't sure why they were even looking at her, as she was being incredibly stealthy about it. She doubted that even Moody himself could have picked her out of the crowd. She had once spent an afternoon at her auntie's house, learning how the Aurors tailed people without them noticing. She was as stealthy as an owl on the hunt, as unnoticed as a flobberworm, and twice as quiet as the room got when Severus Snape entered the room. She was the pinnacle of stealth.

"Are you following Zabini?" asked a dreamy voice, and Susan turned, surprised, to see long, scraggily blond hair and popping eyes. "Because if you are, I'd make sure that he doesn't see you. He doesn't like it when people follow him."

"What?" Susan asked the fly, reflexively taking a few steps back before realising who it was. "Luna?"

"No, Zabini," corrected Luna.

"Zabini?" said Susan, bemused.

"I'm Luna," said Luna, as though this wasn't obvious.

"What?" said Susan, very confused now. One look at Luna's eyes, and she decided the best thing to do was to just move on. "How'd you know that I was stalking Zabini?"

"Weren't you following him?" Luna said, staring at Susan in a decidedly uncomfortable manner.

"Um," said Susan, craning her head to look at Zabini, but he had already rounded the corner. "I prefer the term stalking."

"Stalking does have a nice ring to it," said Luna, looking at the ceiling above Susan in an extremely interested way. Susan glancing above her, checking for Peeves, but didn't see anything.

"Um," said Susan again, as seconds dragged by. Luna was still staring at the ceiling. "Is there something above me?"

"Oh yes," said Luna serenely. "I wouldn't move if I were you."

Susan froze. She had been in Hogwarts for far too long to think that a creature right above her head was a good thing. She had also learned that encounters with creatures came in two varieties. The first one was the one where you stayed still and prayed for the best, and the other was where you ran away and prayed for the best.

"Is it gone?" she asked after a few minutes of staying stiller than was humanly possible. Luna was still standing there, eyes above Susan's head. Susan couldn't be sure, but she was fairly certain that Luna hadn't even blinked yet.

"Oh, you want me to get rid of him for you?" said Luna in surprise. "Don't worry, I'll get it."

Susan was momentarily reassured, until Luna started waving her hands above Susan's head. In Susan's vast experience, whacking a creature was never good procedure.

Susan decided to take her chances moving. Taking a hasty breath, she rushed forward, ducking down to avoid the creature's retribution. It missed. Susan stood upright, whirling around, prepared to hide behind Luna.

There was nothing there, except for Luna still waving her arms around where Susan had been, and a number of students passing them, all looking at Luna with bemused expressions on their faces.

"There's nothing there," said Susan in disbelief. Luna stopped her arm waving and turned around to face Susan.

"Eyes can't see them," said Luna, simply. But if you're paying attention, you might be able to feel them."

"There's nothing there," said Susan again. She wasn't sure if she should be taking Luna to the hospital wing to get her help, or to be congratulating her for playing a spectacular practical joke.

"I think we scared him off," said Luna, taking a step back and eyeing the spot. "I don't think he got you."

Susan stared at her, speechless. If this was a practical joke, this was going too far. Jokes shouldn't involve making someone worry if they had to go the hospital wing.

"Oh, did the Wrackspurt get you after all?" aside Luna, sounding vaguely worried. "There's something for this..."

She dug in her bag, which, Susan was slightly taken aback to see, had many items in it which Susan had no name for. Susan had gotten the impression from others in the D.A. that Luna was a little odd, but this was something quite beyond what she had expected.

"I'm alright," said Susan, before Luna had time to pull out anything. "Really," she added hurriedly, as Luna kept rooting around in her bag. Luna looked up, still looking surprised, but relented, letting her bag back down.

Susan looked around as she remembered what she was doing here in the first place. Zabini was nowhere to be seen, nor were there was anyone to see. The corridor was quite deserted by now, as all the students had already reached wherever they wanted to go.

"Bugger," said Susan, more disappointed than angry.

Luna looked at her as if she was a rather interesting sort of plant, put otherwise didn't react to this.

"Well, I guess there's always tomorrow," said Susan.

"It usually comes," agreed Luna.

Susan almost asked her about the 'usually' part, but quickly decided against it.

"Still, I wished that I could've gotten him today, you know?" said Susan.

"What were you going to do to him?" said Luna, staring out of the window.

"Well," said Susan, hesitating, before impulsively deciding that she could trust Luna with it. "I was going to shrink as many of his housemate's underpants as possible, then blame it on him."

Susan tried not to laugh at her own words, she really did, but she couldn't quite restrain herself. It started with a little squawk, but soon progressed to an all out laugh.

"Sorry, sorry," spluttered Susan, as soon as she was able to speak again. "It's just funny, you know? Can you picture his face?"

Luna was still looking out of the window, but she nodded.

"I'm sorry," said Susan, as she finally regained her breath. "Some people find me a little odd."

"Oh that's alright," said Luna vaguely, finally looking back at Susan. "I'm a little odd too. Actually, some people call me Loony Lovegood."

Susan really tried not to laugh this time, but a squawk came out before she had a chance to clamp her mouth shut with her hands.

"I'm really sorry," said Susan, voice muffled by her hands. "I didn't mean it, I swear."

"Oh it's ok," said Luna, staring at Luna. "That happens a lot."

"No, it's not ok," said Susan firmly. "I shouldn't have laughed."

Luna was again looking out of the window. Susan felt something, an angry something. Just because someone was a little odd didn't give anyone the right to bully them. Her family had always stood up for people, and Susan felt, just then, that she couldn't do any less for her fellow D.A. member.

"Do you want to help me?" asked Susan.

Luna looked back at Susan, humming under her breath as she considered.

"I think I'd like that," said Luna dreamily, readjusting the strap of her bag.

They set off along the corridor. Though Susan felt that Luna wasn't quite as stealthy as her, she had to admit that she did feel a little better about having someone along with her. She could have asked Hannah or one of the others, but they just didn't seem to be the right people for the job. Luna, on the other hand, thought Susan as they strolled along the corridor, was so odd that no one would believe that she had anything to do with it.

Susan turned the corner, feeling more confident by the moment.

Five minutes later, Susan realized that there was a slight hole in her plan. A tiny one, hardly noticeable, but—

"You were following Zabini because you didn't know where he was going," said Luna. From anyone else this would have been an accusation, but from her it was delivered more like slightly miffed maternal grandmother. Except that it wasn't from a grandmother. And Luna didn't really sound miffed. And that Luna definitely wasn't what Susan thought of when she thought of maternal.

"A little bit," said Susan, stopping at the landing on top of the seventh floor. "I mean, only a very little bit.

"That's ok," said Luna, staring at the portrait of Sir Cadogan. At the moment he was slumbering, a fact that Susan was deeply thankful for. "We just have to find him."

"I'm sorry," said Susan, looking at the floor. "I spent too much time researching the spell to actually think this far ahead."

Susan felt a slight sense of shame. She could well imagine what her auntie would say if she saw Susan rushing ahead again without thinking it through.

"We could ask the portraits!" said Luna, eyes bugging out more than usual in her excitement. "They can see all over the place! There's a spell over the castle that lets the portraits see everything thing!"

"Are you sure?" asked Susan, sceptical. She'd never heard anything remotely like this before.

"It was part of the Flucreep Conspiracy, from the Goblin Rebellions," said Luna, gently pushing Susan aside to stand in front of Sir Cadogan and pulling out her wand. "You know, when the house-elves were secretly having Goblins sneaked in by spreading the cold to all the portraits!"

Susan laughed, but stopped when Luna's expression didn't change.

"You're serious?" started Susan, very confused again, but Luna was already talking to the portrait.

"Sir Cadogan, Sir Cadogan," said Luna, prodding the portrait gently with her wand. "We have a quest!"

At the last word, the knight jerked awake from where he was napping against his fat pony. He made to get up, and immediately stumbled, but by using the pony for support, he managed to pull himself to his feet.

"Did I hear that a quest was sought?" He attempted to lift his helmet's visor, only to have it fall down as soon as he removed his hand. He tried again, with the same result. Giving up, he turned attention on Luna and Susan, one whom was acting as normal as she got, while the other was remembering the last time she had met Sir Cadogan, and was desperately wishing that he would accidently knock himself out again.

"A person is missing, and he must be found!" said Luna seriously, watching as the pony stretched his legs and wandered into the portrait to the right without Cadogan's noticing.

"A friend has been lost!" cried Sir Cadogan loudly. "Then by all means we must seek him out, before it is too late to save him! Come gentle ladies, for we have a long descent before us yet if we are to find your friend!"

"He's not that," said Susan hastily.

"I see," said the knight, turning to her. "Perhaps dear comrade might be fairer on your ears?"

"Definitely not," said Susan.

"Ah," said Sir Cadogan, taken aback. "Mayhap an associate be more accurate?"

"Not really."

"I see," said the knight, trying to finger his moustache and only succeeding in getting his hand caught in his visor. He thought for a moment. "A person?" he suggested had last.

Susan considered it for a moment.

"Nah," she said at last. "He's more of an enemy."

"A quest of righteous vengeance then!" shouted the knight, pulling out his sword, overbalancing, and managing to get it stuck in the ground in one movement. "We must find this villain and end his evil ways! Be of stout heart my friends, for we shall not rest until he has met his demise!"

"Oh, I wouldn't call him that," said Luna, looking at Susan like a miffed maternal grandmother. "He's more of a—"

"An enemy," said Susan, nodding, "A bloodthirsty vampire-troll who wears too small underpants, and has giant venomous fangs."

There Susan broke off, laughing at her own description. To her surprise, she saw that Luna was laughing as well, hard enough that she was actually rocking back and forth. Sir Cadogan was watching them both and looking as if he was the only sane person in the room, which was very likely a first.

"I fear I see no cause for laughter—" he started, but Luna cut him off.

"Vampire...troll," she gasped, clutching her side. She peeled off into laughter so hard that Susan didn't hear the footsteps until they had already reached the landing.

Blaise Zabini, her worst enemy, was there in the flesh. His shiny badge with the silver Inquisitorial Squad badge on it glinted on the front of his robe, signalling how untouchable he was.

Well, Susan would see about that.

"I was wondering who was dying," he said, scowling at Luna as she finally stopped laughing, and stood there, breathless, watching Zabini and Susan. "I see it's just the lunatic. Oh, look, the knight's here too."

"Hey," started Susan angrily. "You watch your—"

"Mouth?" suggested Zabini smoothly. "That's very good advice. Perhaps you should even listen to it, Bones."

He sneered as he said her last name.

"Is this the person the quest was to find?" said Sir Cadogan from his portrait. "I find him of a most unpleasant disposition."

"Aren't you missing a horse?" jeered Zabini. The knight turned around so fast he lost his balance. When he managed to claw himself upright, he gasped and started running through the portrait to the left of his, calling for his pony.

"Now was there a reason why you were calling me a 'vampire-troll,' Bones?" said Zabini, staring at right at her, a grin on his face that told Susan that no matter what she did, Hufflepuff was bound to lose points.

Susan resisted the urge to swear horribly. It wasn't supposed to go like this. She was supposed to catch him by surprise, and then fade away before he ever realized that she was there. Now it was ruined.

"Well Bones?" prodded Zabini, obviously enjoying the moment, "anything to say in your defence?"

Susan's self-restraint failed for a moment, and she called Zabini something that would have made Professor Sprout give her detention for a month. Zabini looked slightly taken back at the venom in her voice, and even Susan was a little startled that it had slipped out. Luna, on the other hand, started humming dreamily to herself and righted the portrait in front of her.

"Twenty points from Hufflepuff," said Zabini, "and ten more points for trying to find me, as you were obviously up to no good. And when you try it again, it'll be a lot more," he threatened, as Susan felt her eyes narrow.

They glared at each other, neither of them willing to look away, until Luna spoke up from where she was still examining the portrait.

"You know, if you don't blink for longer than a minute, you can see Heliopaths," said Luna, still not looking at them. "Otherwise they don't trust you."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," said Zabini breaking eye contact with Susan and eying Luna like he would a revolting, half-dead fish, "so much that I'm actually worried that consorting with Bones has permanently lowered your intelligence."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about me," said Luna, as she continued to examine the portrait. "You should worry about this portrait. I think that it has the flu again."

Zabini didn't respond to that, possibly because the amount of sane responses to that was rather limited.

"Again?" asked Susan, quite forgetting about Zabini for a second. "When was the first time?"

"I can't say for certain," Luna frowned gently at the portrait.

"Enough of this nonsense," said Zabini. "I, apparently unlike the two of you, have actual work to do. Ten more points from Hufflepuff, for corrupting a fellow student."

Susan clenched her fist angrily, but Zabini was already walking past her, unable to keep a triumphant grin fully off his face.

Zabini stopped when he was next to Luna, casting an apprising look at her.

"Oh, and ten points from Ravenclaw for accepting in a lunatic," said Zabini, before he started to walk off again. Susan felt something snap inside her. Hufflepuff being docked points was one thing, but taking points from Ravenclaw when Luna had done literally nothing was going too far.

Before she could stop herself she had pulled out her wand and muttered, "Attenuavi underpants!"

She saw Zabini stop suddenly in his tracks before turning back to face them. Instead of the usual air of haughtiness, he suddenly looked a lot like a toddler who had to go to the bathroom.

"What did you do?" Zabini's eyes were suddenly wide. He caught himself before he let anymore slip out. He straightened up and did his best to walk away casually. Susan was about to taunt him, when his composure broke and he positively fled down the corridor. Susan's taunt stopped in her mouth, transformed into a cheek-hurting laughter.

By the time Susan had hiccupped her way back to seriousness, Luna had abandoned the portrait-healing and was looking at her in a rather concerned manner.

"Oh, I see the Wrackspurt got you after all," she sighed, reaching into her bag and pulling out a very sharp looking object.

Susan stopped laughing immediately.

"I'm fine!" she said hastily, before Luna had time to touch her.

"I know," said Luna, as though this was obvious. "I just fixed you."

And she put the object back into her bag.

Susan eyed Luna, unsure if she was being had. Was this Luna's idea of a practical joke? Or did Luna really believe in Wrackspurts?

"Don't worry," said Luna, as she walked over and patted Susan's hand. "They probably shouldn't bother you anymore."

"Thanks," said Susan, still unsure if she was being had or not. "And thanks for coming with me as well. Even if we didn't accomplish what I wanted to."

Luna shrugged, as if this didn't matter.

"That's alright," she said. "It's not so bad."

And with that she drifted off, as if that was all there was to say on the manner.

Susan could only shake her head, helpless before the weirdness, or possible genius, that was Luna Lovegood.

Susan wasn't sure which one it was, but she was going to find out one of these days.