Survivors

Chapter 10 -- The road to hell...

The next morning dawned cold and dreary, but no rain in sight. I knew I couldn't escape the next seventy miles any longer. I dressed and packed my things, sitting down on the side of the bed after I was done. I tried, but couldn't stop the tears, it seemed to be all I was doing lately, crying over Jack but I had to get the tears out before I faced him.

All cried out I tapped my fingertips on his door, he opened it almost immediately.

"Good morning," he said with a formal little bow.

"Hi," I answered weakly.

"You OK? You look a little pale." he said, reaching out to touch my face.

I pulled away from him, turning my head.
"We better hit the road," I said, "We got a few miles left on this little journey, let's finish them Jack."

He was looking into my eyes and trying to figure out what was wrong. I couldn't very well tell him that I had regrets. I couldn't say that I felt no hope in being with him. In my heart he was already lost to Sam. Just like I had lost David years ago. When the phone rings in the middle of the night it is almost always bad news.

Getting on that trike and driving those last few miles felt like a bad dream I wanted desperately to wake up from.

Before I knew it, we were there.

Pulling up in front of this giant cave with armed guards standing in front of it. Just inside the arch of the cave stood a group of people that were separate from everyone else. I took off my helmet and watched them approach us. Jack's team. No doubt about it. I could tell each one of them by his stories and descriptions. Including Sam. Most of all Sam, and I felt instantly felt inferior.

Jack hugged Daniel and Teal'c and when he came to Sam it was electric. You could almost see a current running between them. A bond that can only be formed by years of relying on each other. They were staring into each other's eyes and the rest of the world didn't exist for them, and I knew he was gone. Rules and regulations were history. No matter what might have happened between us he loved her in a way I could never compete with. I had only been fooling myself that he ever belonged to me at all.

"Nice wheels, Jack, "Daniel said with a grin.

"It got us here," was all Jack said.

"It is indeed good to see you, O'Neill," Teal'c said with a sage smile.

I noticed Jack had Sam's hand in a vice-like grip and wasn't letting go for any reason.

"Where is general Hammond?" Jack

"He's inside, and Doctor Fraiser will welcome an extra nurse, so come on, let's go in," Daniel said, looking at me curiously.

"Lead on, Danny boy" Jack said, looking back at me.

They started to walk away and I felt the urge to follow them, but I also felt the urge to run.

Jack looked back and noticed I wasn't following. He separated himself from the group and walked back to me.

"You aren't coming, are you?" Was all he said.

"No, I don't think so. My place isn't here, Jack. I thought it might be, but it isn't."

" Come on," he said, "You're not even giving it a chance."

"I know," I said, "but I can't stay no more than you could leave."

"Jess, I'm sorry --"

"Don't be. I know you never meant to hurt me, and I don't blame you for me falling for you. That was my heart, not yours. No one decides who they fall in love with. It just happens. The heart wants what it wants."

I got back on the trike and started it up.

"Jessie, don't do this, come on inside," he asked.

"Tell you what, Jack, I'm going to head over to the CDC in Denver. If they don't need me there, I'll come back. Fair enough?"

"No. It's too dangerous. Just stay here."

"I can't Jack. I just can't. I need some time. If the CDC doesn't work out, I'll come back, I promise."

"Why do I feel like you are going away forever?"

"Take care of yourself Jack. I'll be thinking of you."

He stuck his hands in his pockets and sighed

"Bye Jess, thank you for everything."

I just smiled and waved at him.

I turned that trike around and headed out for Denver.

End