Into The Past
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Chapter Ten
The Little Things Give You Away
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Sakumo woke up laying in an awkward position; laying on his stomach, body twisted slightly, one hand was reached out to where Taylor's hand was and his other arm under his head and his neck turned to the side. Slowly, he opened his eyes and moaned softly. He slept in some of the strangest positions and sometimes they hurt. Silently, he sat up and winced as his back screamed at him for sleeping the way he did. The eldest groaned softly as he stood to join his son and Kiiro.
"Have you guys found anything yet?" he asked tiredly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and then clutching his shoulder.
Kakashi glanced up.
"No, not yet..."
"How many scrolls have you guys gone through already?"
"Forty out of...four hundred some-odd scrolls?" Kakashi looked at Kiiro.
"Yeah," she nodded. "Something like that."
Sakumo sighed.
"We need to take a break," he suggested.
"Are you sure?"
"We need to."
Saru-Shin lightly tapped Taylor's shoulder.
"Huh?" She looked up at him and he smiled softly.
"Look, your ojiisan is awake. See if he can still see you," he suggested, pointing behind her.
She glanced over her shoulder at Sakumo, who was standing over them.
"Grandpa," she whispered.
Saru-Shin watched her.
"Grandpa," she said a bit louder. "Grandpa!"
Sakumo looked at Taylor and smiled a bit.
"Please take a break...," she whispered. "Please."
"Taylor would want us to take a break," he added softly.
She smiled. You all need it, she thought. Even though Grandpa just took a break.
"Please," she insisted. "Rest and eat, you guys have seven days, plenty of time for you guys to rest and eat and get things done."
"Let's go eat," Sakumo suggested. "I'm sure we're all hungry. Hmm, Ichiraku's?"
Kiiro and Kakashi nodded.
"Sounds good to me," Kiiro said.
The little girl's ghost smiled a little.
"Love you, Grandpa..." she whispered. "Thank you for suggesting a break."
Sakumo smiled, at both Kakashi and Kiiro, and the ghost of his granddaughter.
"Let's go," he beckoned them to follow him with his hand.
"Right."
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Taylor laid in her bed and couldn't get up unless she needed to. She laid there feeling pretty restless and it was very annoying to stay there.
"I want to clear more snow...," she groaned to Saru-Shin.
"Coushander told you that you had to stay in bed," he reminded her.
"I know," she groaned. "Hmmm...Can you hand me my—"
"No, go to sleep," Saru said. "Rest."
Taylor sighed.
"Fine..."
Saru flipped the light switch, "Good night."
"Night..." Taylor rolled over onto her side and closed her eyes.
First thing she did when she woke up was dress properly to go outside into the cold weather to continue clearing the path.
"And where do you think you're going?" Saru-Shin demanded.
She zipped up her jacket and slipped her gloves on.
"I'm gonna go continue clearing the snow," she answered bluntly.
"No you're not."
"Yes I am. I don't want Coushander to have to do it himself when I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself," she folded her arms under her chest.
"You pushed yourself too hard last night."
"I'm fine!"
Taylor and Saru both glared at each other for a moment, then Taylor spoke up defiantly, "You are not going to win this fight. I am going to do this and you can't stop me." Saru-Shin was shocked with how defiant she was. She was a nice girl, he never thought she would do that. He felt a bit ticked off at her for being defiant, but decided not to get mad. Instead of stopping her, he just threw his arms up in defeat.
"I'm not gonna argue with you. If you get into trouble with Coushander, it'll be your own damn fault," Saru imparted harshly.
"Good." Without another word, Taylor walked out and walked to the front of the house and slipped her sandals on.
"You're going to hurt yourself and upset Coushander," Saru warned her before she walked out.
"I'm gonna clear the path Uncle Saru," she assured. "I'll be fine as long as you are watching me."
Saru sighed.
"That's not assuring," Saru grumbled. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you."
She smiled softly and opened the front door, then went outside and grabbed the shovel.
"Take breaks this time," he begged. "Please."
Taylor nodded.
"Yes Uncle Saru..."
She closed the door behind her and walked to where she'd stopped the night before and continued. While she worked, she hummed random songs to herself. When she'd cleared a good four yards, as she promised, she took a break.
"Good girl," Saru sighed as she walked back to the house.
Taylor nodded.
"Hmm, is it bad that now all I can think about is a nice, hot bowl of soup?" she asked as she got onto the steps.
"Nah," Saru assured. "You're just so cold you're thinking about something hot."
"Hmm...I wonder if Coushander is awake," Taylor wondered aloud, stepping onto the porch. "Man, I hope not."
"Probably," Saru shrugged as his niece leaned the shovel against the house. "I warned you..." He sighed a bit, "But I don't advise going inside to see unless you can come up with a believable lie. But even then, lying to Coushander is a bad idea."
"Oh don't worry, I'll think of something if I need to," she replied with a grin.
Taylor opened the front door and took her sandals off before going inside. She peered inside. No sign of Cou being awake. Silently, she dropped her sandals by Coushander's and closed the door quietly. Swiftly, she got out of her jacket and ran it to her room where she carefully hung the jacket on the back of the chair, then she slipped into the robe Coushander handed her the other day. Not too soon later, she heard his door open and she panicked. She knew he would check to see if she was in bed, so she sat in her bed and pulled the covers over her. Then, she reached over to her notebook and grabbed it. Damn she's quick, Saru thought.
The sound of Coushander's soft footsteps grew louder as he approached her room. Taylor picked up her pencil and pretended to not notice him when he stopped by her room.
"Taylor."
She looked up and pretended to be surprised.
"Morning Grandpa Coushander," she smiled.
The elder glanced around her room and then looked back at Taylor, narrowing his eyes. He knew something was up.
"I heard the front door open," he told her suspiciously. "Did you go outside?"
Taylor felt a bead of sweat roll down her cheek from her forehead.
"Uhm, I don't know what you're talking about," she lied. "Perhaps you were just hallucinating?"
"Whoa!" Saru exclaimed. "When did Dalzen get here?!" He had to laugh.
Taylor gulped down a grin. Coushander stared at her in slight disbelief. Yeah, I can tell she's been hanging around Dalzen a little too often. Taylor had to crack a smile and Coushander looked at her coat.
"There's snow on your coat..." he noticed. "Were you...lying to me?"
Shit, she thought. He caught me! Will I be able to compile another one? Oh! Yeah, there we go. That one isn't a lie, exactly.
"Alright alright, I went outside," she confessed, but finished with a small lie. "But only because I wanted a little bit of snow." Well, perhaps that wasn't exactly a lie. It was and it wasn't. She did scoop up some clean snow and eat it.
She shook her head quickly and before Coushander could respond to her, "Hey...uhm...Coushander, would you mind making some chicken soup like you did the other day?"
Coushander nodded and decided not to get mad. It wasn't worth getting mad over. Didn't seem like she'd gone out to shovel out more snow.
"Of course. And stay in bed until I come get you," he ordered.
Taylor nodded.
"Yessir."
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After she rested for two hours, Taylor continued clearing snow, with fifteen minute breaks in between of course. It wasn't till three that she finally stopped for the day. Without a sound, she stood straight and jammed the shovel into the ground, resting her forearms on the end of it and then sighing heavily.
"Phew!" She wiped the sweat from her forehead. "I need to stop, I think I just passed my limit for the day. I can't continue on."
"Good idea," Saru-Shin agreed.
Taylor glanced over her shoulder.
"I'm so far from the house, a good kilometer or so," she sighed. "I should head back now while I've got the strength."
Saru nodded.
"Uhm yeah, that would be a good idea. Please, do so."
Silently, Taylor picked the shovel back up and began her trek back to the house. She walked slowly, starting to realize how exhausted she was and how tired her limbs were. Every step she took, the closer she got to collapsing and passing out. She was used to being exhausted, it was part of being a shinobi, but she was shoveling snow and that was a slightly different story. Before long, she dropped her shovel and collapsed at the halfway point she marked for herself.
"Saru-Shin..." she whispered, clutching the snow underneath her hands. Her whole body shook a bit as she struggled to lift herself back up, only to fail and fall back down and she breathed in sharply from the pain. Then, as loud as she could before she passed out, she shouted, "Coushander!"
Coushander had just opened the front door to check on her when Taylor shouted his name.
"Coushander!"
"Taylor!" Coushander exclaimed under his breath.
Without a second thought, he slipped his sandals on and dashed outside to find her.
"I'm coming, Taylor!"
Saru crouched down beside his niece.
"Taylor," he pleaded. "Taylor, wake up."
No response from her. She was unconscious. Fantastic; not. He looked over his shoulder and saw Coushander running towards them so he stood up. Once the elder got there, he knelt down beside his great-granddaughter and placed his fingers on her throat to make sure she was still alive. She was, and he could tell she was in pain from the way she was breathing.
"I knew it," he groaned. "I knew she would push herself over her own limits like this...I just knew."
Saru watched as his brother slipped his arms under Taylor's unconscious body and as he lifted her up. When he was sure Taylor was secure in his arms, Coushander headed back to the house. Taylor really knows how to push herself beyond her own limits, he thought bitterly.
Saru-Shin sighed heavily. Taylor, I'm gonna stop you the next time you want to push yourself like this, he thought. I'll be sure to remind you of this.
When Coushander got inside the house, he laid his great-granddaughter down on the couch and sighed heavily. Let her sleep it off, he thought. She's exhausted. Sighing again, Coushander walked off to start supper.
Before bed, Coushander took Taylor into her room, knowing full well she wasn't going to wake up any time soon. Carefully, he laid her down on the bed and pulled a blanket over her up to her shoulders. Sakumotsu, he thought. Do you really let your granddaughter overexert herself like this? Wouldn't Sakumo know any better than to let his granddaughter overexert herself?
Perhaps he does know better and Taylor really doesn't do this very often. With all that's happened to her, could it just be she's restless and really can't help herself? Yeah, let's go with that.
Cou stood up and walked out of her room, but he stopped in the doorframe and glanced over his shoulder at the little girl. Even in her sleep, she had an expression of fear or worry on her face and it actually bothered him. At first, she looked relatively calm, but lately she's been anxious and worrisome. He thought back to the other night when she'd said, but not finished, "Just don't". Why did she say that? Was it because he was reminding her of her grandfather some how? Maybe.
Coushander glanced back and closed the door behind him.
She woke up at eight in the morning the next day when Coushander walked in to check on her. Silently, the elder opened her door and found her still asleep, or so it seemed, and he walked inside to check on her. There was a little pink on her cheeks and something told Coushander that she got sick, again. Well, it was cold outside so should it be a surprise? Autumn and winter were known to be sick seasons, so it shouldn't be a surprise she got sick. Sighing, he knelt down beside her bed and he lightly touched her forehead. Suddenly, Taylor made a soft groan and Coushander yanked his hand away.
"Are you awake?" he whispered curiously.
In answer to his question, she opened her eyes and turned her head to the side to look at him. Then, she tried to sit up but her whole body screamed at her in pain.
"Itai!" she cried, wincing in pain. "Ow... ow... Shit!"
"Don't sit up," Coushander held his hand out to make her lay back down.
She huffed in slight irritation but she laid back down.
"What happened? How long was I asleep for? What time is it because I am really hungry."
"Okay, okay, one question at a time," Cou groaned, taking a deep breath. Sheesh. "You collapsed from exhaustion, so that's why you're in pain. You prolly slept more than twelve hours, let's be honest. And... Well it's eight and I just woke up so give me thirty minutes to make your breakfast."
He sighed.
"But first, it seems like you have a fever and you're sick — more or less it's my fault because I let you work outside in the cold without proper cold-weather gear on — so I need to go find the medicine."
"Bathroom," Taylor moaned. "You put it in the bathroom the other day. I think it's the new stuff." She groaned again, "...itai..."
Coushander nodded and walked off to the bathroom. She let out a heavy sigh.
"Great," she thought out loud. "He ain't letting me out of bed for the next few days unless I can convince him to take me to the winter festival in the village..."
"Your fault," came Saru-Shin. "You're the one who didn't take a break for another hour, which wasn't what you were supposed to do."
Taylor nodded.
"I know."
They watched as Coushander walked past her room to go to get to the a table spoon to pour the medicine into for her to drink.
"I'll convince him," she muttered. "I'm sure I can."
Coushander walked in, pouring the medicine into the spoon.
"Try not to spit it out this time," he said with concern.
"Oi... I have a hard time keeping some medicines down, especially the strong stuff. I can't help it," Taylor murmured.
"Well, fine. Then try not to get it on me if you do it again," he ordered, kneeling down carefully so he wouldn't spill the medicine. "Open."
She wanted to resist, but at this point resistance was futile so Taylor had to open her mouth for Cou. Cautiously, he moved the spoon up to her bottom lip and tilted it ever-so-slightly so that the bitter liquid would pour into her mouth. She resisted the urge to spit it out, so she was stuck with a stupid expression on her face. When the spoon was empty, she let a bit of the medicine slide down her throat so that it would seem like she actually drank it. Coushander actually believed she'd swallowed all of it so he smiled a bit.
"Good girl," he praised her, standing up. "I'll just leave this stuff by your bed and make breakfast."
It took a lot of her strength (which she was low on at the moment) to keep her from throwing it up before the elder went out of the room. She nodded, smiling wryly. The elder sat the bottle and spoon down on the nightstand and left. After he'd shut the door and walked down to the kitchen, Taylor stood up and opened her window and coughed out the medicine.
"Yuck!" she exclaimed hoarsely. "What in the hell did he give me?!"
Pained, she closed the window and jumped back into the bed. Silently, she rolled over onto her side to face the nightstand and she grabbed the bottle and read it: Nai-Kueru.
"Yuck!" she exclaimed again. "Nai-Kueru is the worst medicine out there! What is he trying to do, punish me? Even my father isn't so cruel as to buy this stuff and shove it down my throat."
She grabbed her throat and resisted the urge to throw it up. After a few moments, she laid down width-wise on her bed, not caring that her legs and her head was hanging over the sides of the bed.
"Uhg, thanks for making me feel ten-times worse than I felt before. Yuck, what the hell is Coushander thinking?" She put the back of her hand up to her mouth and swallowed hard. "I think I'm about to throw up."
"Oi!" Saru kicked the trashcan over to her face. "Do it in the can."
Taylor squeezed her eyes shut and then threw up. She stopped and waited till she wasn't nauseous to say, "That medicine seriously did not make me feel better."
"He probably doesn't know how awful the medicine tastes because this is a new brand of medicine," Saru said.
"Whoever invented this stuff needs to be dragged out into the middle of the street and stabbed in the foot," Taylor stated.
"I'll just take your word for it," Saru chuckled wryly.
Taylor's stomach churned again and she did not like the idea of eating.
"Y'know, I'm not so hungry anymore," she muttered, covering her mouth with her hand. "Oh God, I'm really gonna be sick..."
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Coushander knocked softly on Taylor's door later that day.
"Am I allowed to come in?" he asked.
"Yeah..." Taylor responded, laying flat on her back on her bed. She held her face in her hand and groaned a little because she snapped back into reality and it startled her.
The door knob turned and Coushander opened it and came in, holding a damp wash cloth in his hand and a glass of ice-cold water.
"I have this washcloth to help keep your fever down," he explained. "And you said you wanted ice-cold water?"
Taylor looked and nodded tiredly.
"Th...Thank you..." she smiled.
Without a word, he walked over to her and sat the glass down on her nightstand and brushed her bangs back, placing the damp wash cloth on her forehead.
"Have you thrown up anymore?" the elder asked.
"No, but I have been feeling like I need to though," Taylor responded with a soft groan. "The nausea hasn't really left me, but it hasn't made me throw up again."
"I see," the elder acknowledged. "I'm surprised you haven't asked to go try to clear the roads again."
"Ugh, I'm too weak," Taylor winced. "And...I guess I just don't want to tick you off."
"Good." Coushander cracked a weak smile. "You've learned your lesson?"
"Don't over-exert myself?" Taylor wondered.
"Yeah, basically." Cou let her bangs down and let it cover the cloth on her forehead. "I'm gonna go rest a bit. Let me know if you need anything."
"Yessir." Taylor nodded.
Coushander bowed slightly and left and Taylor was left alone in her room. She yawned.
"Should I just go back to sleep?" she wondered. "Man, I've been sleeping a lot more than usual lately. That's kinda weird, at least to me."
"Yes, and perhaps it's because you've been bored a bit?" Saru suggested. "I mean, I would be bored too if I wasn't able to go on missions. Oh wait..."
Taylor giggled.
"I was about to say, Saru you're dead you can't go on missions so you must be a bit bored."
"Yeah, I kinda am," Saru sighed. "But don't mind me. Go to sleep."
"Yeah, I should prolly sleep..." Taylor yawned and closed her eyes. "Rest. Rest, sleep. Whatever."
"Good."
Taylor sighed and allowed herself to drift off into a deep sleep. Her eyes opened in a dream and she found herself walking through the woods. The sky revealed it was nighttime because of the moon. Her long, silver hair that wasn't tied for once gleamed from the moonlight and her pale features were shown even more pale. It seemed that she was as pale as a ghost, but Taylor was pretty sure she wasn't dead. That is...until she got to a river. She walked over to it and looked at it. There was no reflection of her, nothing. Then, she looked at her hands. They were there, but they were transparent.
"What? Oh my goddess, I'm see-through! I'm a ghost!" Taylor rubbed her arms and looked around. At the sound of a twig snapping, she jumped up, "EEK!"
After she calmed down, she asked, "Who's there? Daddy? Grandpa? D...Dalzen? Coushander? Uncle Saru?"
No response, but a faint sob. It was hard to tell, but it almost sounded like her father. Though, that was a bit difficult to determine because she has never heard Kakashi cry, nor has she seen him cry. She's always known Kakashi to not show many emotions, other than happiness, laughter, love, care, and seriousness. She has seen him angry, once, but he was drunk that night. He didn't get drunk often, but that night was a bad night and he was not happy after his fifth shot of sake. She was only six at the time and she was frightened when he started yelling at Sakumo. She's also seen him upset, and it was once at her because she followed him on a mission. Those were the only emotions she's seen him display. But Taylor believed it was him, sobbing softly. She looked around.
"Dad?"
Still, no response and Taylor followed the sound of a man sobbing, who of which she thought was her dad. Silently, she walked towards him and found him crouched down by a tree, sobbing uncontrollably into his hands.
"Dad?" she tried to get his attention. "Dad? Daddy why are you crying?"
He didn't respond, only because he couldn't hear her.
"Taylor..." Kakashi sobbed. "I can't believe you're dead. It's like I failed a mission, only it's a lot worse than a mission. I failed you as a father. I didn't protect you..."
"Daddy..." Taylor crouched beside him and rubbed his back. "You are the most awesome father in the world, don't ever say you've failed me because you never have."
Kakashi felt so awful and as much as he tried, he couldn't hold himself together.
"I'm a horrible father..." he murmured, whipping out a knife.
Taylor stopped rubbing his back and looked at his hand.
"Dad? What are you doing?"
"I want to make amends with her..." he clenched the knife and pointed it towards his heart.
"Dad!"
"I'm sorry, Taylor. I'm doing this for you..."
"NO! Are you insane?! Dad! No! Don't— "
Kakashi stabbed himself in the heart and didn't die, immediately.
"I must be with you forever..." he whimpered. "The bond of a father and his daughter is unbreakable. I will kill myself to be with you, Taylor...Hatake..."
"No!" Taylor shouted. "You idiot!"
"I'm sorry..."
He closed his grey eyes and lost consciousness. Taylor was left screaming at the top of her lungs for help, although it was pointless. No one could hear her.
"Help!" she shouted, forgetting no one could hear her. Ghostly tears streamed down her face. "Help! Someone, help us! My dad just killed himself!"
Once she realized no one could hear her, she banged her hand on the ground really hard, hurting it but she took no notice.
"Dammit! No one can hear me!"
And, before anything else could happen, she woke with a jolt and screamed, "DAAAAD!"
Saru-Shin jumped and Coushander looked over his shoulder.
"Was that Taylor?" Coushander wondered.
"Oh God," Saru dashed towards Taylor's room.
Coushander felt something brush past him, but he was too busy wondering about the scream he heard. He realized that it was Taylor and ran towards her room, opening the door quickly.
"Taylor?!" both men exclaimed.
The little girl, poor thing was scared stiff, was sitting up and trembling and whimpering softly as if she was trying to keep herself from crying. She pulled her knees up to her chest and laid her forehead down on her knees and starting crying. Neither Coushander nor Saru-Shin knew what happened, but they both walked over to her and sat down on either side of her.
"What's wrong?" Coushander asked softly.
Taylor didn't respond. She couldn't, actually. It hurt to talk when she was crying and she made no sense whatsoever when she did talk while crying. Saru looked at Coushander, then looking back at Taylor he put his hand on her back.
"Why're you crying?" Saru asked.
Many moments of silence passed while Taylor wept and once she brought herself to talk, she looked up at Coushander and hugged him tightly. Without thinking, he returned it and tried to calm her down.
"It was a nightmare," she choked out. "It was a really scary one too..."
"What happened?" the elder cautiously asked.
"Well, I don't know..." she murmured. "I was walking through the woods and I stopped at a river and looked at myself, only to find that I had no reflection. Then I saw I was see-through...transparent, like a ghost. I freaked out a bit, then I started hearing crying and I followed it and found out that it was my dad... He thought I was dead and was he was crying and let me tell you, my father doesn't cry all that much. Then again, he doesn't have much to cry about and well, he's nothing like me in the sense of emotions. He has a better control of his than I do. Off topic..."
Saru wondered why she was a ghost in her dream but he knew she would explain it. He continued to lightly rub her back
Taylor choked a bit, "But...he was saying that he was the worst father ever for not protecting me and killed himself. My efforts for trying to stop him was futile. I couldn't do it because he couldn't hear me. I tried to get help, but no one could hear me. I woke up a little after I cried in the dream and I guess I screamed his name out...didn't I?"
"Yeah, you did," Saru and Coushander both told her.
"So that's what happened," Taylor held her face in her hands and wept a little more. "Dammit. I have no control over my own freakin' emotions... I hate that."
Coushander didn't know what to say so all he did was rub her back.
"Hey, it was just a dream," Coushander assured her.
"I know," Taylor sobbed. "My dad wouldn't kill himself, I know that. But still...it bothers me."
Coushander just nodded.
"I understand, Taylor," he assured.
Taylor cried a little more and then calmed down.
"Gomen," she apologized. "Sorry I scared y'all..."
"Y'all?"
"I mean you," Taylor corrected herself and let go of Cousander. "Sorry. I-I'm fine now...I think... D-Don't worry about me..."
Coushander raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure you're okay?"
Taylor looked up and gave a weary smile, "Yeah. I'm fine."
"Alright..." The elder rose to his feet. "Please let me know if you need something."
"I will," Taylor murmured.
Coushander sighed and walked towards the door and walked out. Taylor rubbed her face, still wet from the tears, and sniffled.
"Sorry Saru," she whispered. "I scared you both."
"It's okay," Saru assured.
"I don't have nightmares and I've been having them lately," she explained. "Perhaps I'm just stressed."
"Yeah, you have been pretty stressed. Y'know, maybe that's why you wanted to clear the path. You needed to release your stress so you tried to clear that path," Saru suggested.
Taylor looked up at him.
"You know, you might be right," she agreed.
Saru grinned.
"I am glad you agree."
.
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