Disclaimer: No offence meant to people who like the entertainers mentioned within this story. I used them because they were fairly popular, not because I dislike them. And I in no way own them.

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Chapter 10

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"If the baby genius thing doesn't work out, you could always be an esthetician."

My Jacob laughed as Leah examined her freshly painted nails. "Could you stop encouraging my imprint to drop out of school?"

"What? Have you ever seen nails painted like this? They're gorgeous." She sighed. "Too bad I'm going to ruin it when I phase."

"Girl," Embry muttered.

"I'm so glad you finally noticed. Don't pout just because a five year old is better at putting on nail polish than you are."

"Why does Jake get to just sit there?" Quil complained. It was not the first time. He and Embry had been whining since they arrived, even more so when Leah ordered Embry to paint Quil's nails a horribly vibrant pink. Embry had given a rather impassioned speech about the Geneva Convention, which my Jacob had easily overruled by just telling them to shut up.

"He's supervising," Leah shrugged. Actually, my Jacob and Seth were currently trying to kill each other in a virtual world that was actually fairly disturbing.

"I'm figuring out how I'm going to afford the cars I promised you for doing this," he said. The distraction did not prevent him from blowing something else up. I was beginning to believe that Leah's reluctance to allow them to play video games had not been misguided.

"Daddy can buy you cars."

Leah stopped examining her nails long enough to snarl, "Your family can shove their money up—"

She got a pillow in the face. Seth smiled at me, before pretending he had been engrossed in the game the whole time. Leah must have known who threw it, but she was much less inclined to fight with her brother than the rest of the pack, so she focused her attention on Quil and Embry instead.

"You guys done?"

"Finished," Embry sighed.

Quil sighed, too. "Just because I have experience doesn't mean—"

"Oh, shut up already and give me your hand." Leah arranged both her and Quil's hands beside each other. "See how Embry couldn't always stay completely on the nail? And how his brush strokes aren't always perfectly straight?" I studied the two sets carefully, trying to memorize all the differences. There was a tiny bit of pride at how much better I had done, but poor Embry had tried so I said nothing and focused on Leah's instructions. "You need to do somewhere between the two of these. Nice, but with a few mistakes. You ready to try that?"

I nodded. She smirked. "Jake! It's your turn."

My Jacob came, ceding success to Seth, whose victory dance was one of the stranger things I had seen in my abnormal life. Embry dove for the abandoned controller while Quil dove for the nail polish remover.

The werewolves had been much more accommodating during the arts and crafts portion of my training. Destroying Leah's bedroom seemed to amuse them much more than putting make up on each other did. It was only after the PVA glue and sparkles had been put away that my Jacob and Quil had carried the television into the room, so they could play video games.

Since I already knew how to watch videos in company, mostly, Leah had decided we would go through the other possible activities that I might have to endure. I had learned how to get glue on inconvenient surfaces, how to paste popsicle sticks together at forty-three degree angles and how to draw like Quil (everyone assured me was the gold standard of a ten year old). Now we had moved on to make up.

My Jacob had overruled Leah only when she suggested teaching me how to talk about boys, saying that since Naomi was only turning nine, it was unnecessary. Her point had been that I looked eleven and would soon be attending those sorts of sleepovers and she was only doing this once. He had not relented, so she had simply advised me to make sure my parents did not eavesdrop when I went to twelve-year-old sleepovers.

"Just because you were a slut," Embry muttered.

Seth hit him in the arm, even as my Jacob wrapped his hand around Leah's mouth, muttering something in her ear until she settled for just glaring at Embry instead. He was too busy rubbing the spot on his arm to care.

Everyone had made it this far into the night, intact. Quil settled down beside my Jacob, their legs pressed together, declaring: "This means you can't make fun of me anymore."

"I've never had to wear a tiara. Don't get any ideas, Nessie," he ordered.

"I won't. Aunt Rosalie wouldn't let you near her tiaras, anyway."

"Finally, Blondie is good for something."

We settled cross-legged across from each other, his back against Seth's, while Quil had his hand on my Jacob's shoulder, displaying the sort of enthusiasm that he usually reserved for particularly crude sporting events. Leah was scrutinizing us too, but that was in order to make sure I followed her instructions properly.

I preferred to work mostly in silence, but Leah said that wouldn't do for when I was surrounded by others. She had made the men shut up when I painted her nails, but apparently that was different.

"A little more over the cuticle, kid. Did you do your homework like I asked you to?"

"I did. I still do not understand why Miley Cyrus should be my role model."

"Beats me. Kids get stupider as the years go by."

"You liked the Backstreet Boys," Seth reminded her. "You had that huge A.J. poster on your wall, remember?"

"That's different," Leah said. When I glanced up, she was blushing. She hit Embry in the back of the head when his laughter got too loud. Quil and Jacob contented themselves to smirking at each other. "Whatever. The kiddies today like her and the Jonas Brothers. You need to know all about them and their creepy parents who know if they're virgins or not."

"Do you remember when Britney was a virgin?"

"Or Simpson? Glad she gave that up and started washing cars—"

"Imprint," Jacob snarled to the room at large. They shut up.

Leah continued, "It doesn't matter if you think she can't act, can't sing and can't dress. She is your new idol. You want to be just like her. You watched all that stupid show like I told you?"

"I actually sort of liked Hannah Montana," I admitted. "It was funny."

Seth turned around, having destroyed Embry. "You know who I really love? That evil little kid—the one who works at the Surf Shop. How he's always plotting? He's my favorite."

I giggled as Quil protested, "Rico? He's a total dirtball."

"I'm going to pretend I went deaf," my Jacob announced, "And didn't hear that. Because it was just..."

"Sad," Embry supplied. Jacob and Leah nodded.

Quil looked embarrassed, but Seth asked me, "Who's your favorite?"

"Lilly. Her squeaking is amusing. And Dad finds her less offensive. He and Mommy disapprove of Miss Cyrus."

"Speaking of sluts," Embry joked.

My Jacob waved his hands around to let the first coat dry, but managed to hit Embry with the palm of his hand anyway.

"Not be defending a Disney princess, but seriously?" Leah put her head on Quil's shoulder. "No one's business. If her parents let her date the twenty-year-old guy, why should we care? And the whole Vanity Fair thing was blown out of proportion."

"It was picturesque." The four of them turned to stare at Embry. "Oh come on, I just meant—"

Jacob and Seth were already on top of him, laughing and punching, in some strange orgy of limbs. Quil and Leah were trying not to snicker, though Leah did call out: "Like we don't have enough creepy pedophiliac undertones as it is."

"Thanks, Leah," Quil said, poking her in the stomach while she cackled.

"My Jacob does not touch me inappropriately. Sexually or otherwise."

"What?" my Jacob demanded, sitting up from on top of Embry's chest. He even released the hold on Seth's leg. "How do you know what—you know what Leah's talking about?"

"Daddy taught me. After you explained racism, he felt I should understand about other... objectionable occurrences. He said he wanted me to be prepared to grapple with the ugly underside of human society." After my recitation, I opened my eyes to see that my Jacob was shaking. Shaking terribly.

"So he taught you about pedophiles?"

Leah grabbed him and hustled him out of the room. The door had barely shut before I heard him shout something at her. I cringed and the three werewolves in the room with me looked at each other for a moment before Seth went to turn up the volume on the television. The synthetic soundtrack to their game seemed to be on continuous repeat. It was annoying and unhelpful; Jacob and Leah had never learned to keep it down.

"Which is your favorite Jonas Brother?" Quil asked me. Even Embry was pretending to be interested in the conversation.

Since I had no response, they debated the merits of Kevin—they had a brief argument if it was Kevin or Keith, which I had to settle—Joe and Nick. It didn't quite drown out the sounds of my Jacob and Leah arguing, but it did help somewhat.

But even three boisterous werewolves couldn't prevent me from noticing how the wall shook.

"Leah," Seth muttered. An answering bang was greeted by Embry: "Jake."

"At least they're almost done," Quil muttered.

"Why does she need to calm him down?"

All three of them looked down. It was Quil who responded. "We know your parents just want to keep you safe, but you know Jacob would never hurt you, right Nessie?"

"He would sooner hurt the rest of you and he would die before he did that."

"Good."

"What's good?" my Jacob asked as he walked back into the room. There was a very forced, but not unpleasant, smile on his face.

"How you keep me safe," I responded.

That seemed to please him for he sat back down where he had been before and showed off his ruined nails. "Why don't you grab me the remover and start again?"

"Is Leah okay?" Seth demanded.

My Jacob looked offended. "No, I let her drag herself to a hospital. Of course she's fine. She went to the kitchen. I think she made brownies. We have to practice snack time, too."

"Awesome."

Not awesome. He was still upset, so disturbed that Seth had felt the need to inquire after his sister's safety. My Jacob would never hurt anyone who wasn't a dangerous vampire and yet the other werewolves seemed to think he would hurt Leah. That meant he was even more distressed than I suspected.

I did not know what to do, for I did not understand why he was troubled. That my father had taught me something unpleasant? It was usually a duty the werewolves took on themselves. Why would he be upset this time?

His friends set about distracting him in their usual way, with insults, violence and video games. He, Embry and Quil were one fighting heap of limbs when Leah came back, as Seth tried to instruct me in the ways of the Play Station.

His sister offered him a plate full of brownies, effectively distracting him from my tutorial. She was also carrying a couple of bags of chips, which she handed to me even as she kicked the three men wrestling across her floor. When there was room beside me, she sat down, stealing the brownies back from her brother. "No matter how old you get," she explained, "Chocolate really is a girl's best friend."

Despite being completely unscientific and despite my dislike for solid food, it turned out Leah was right.

Chocolate made things better.

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TBC...