Aestou Insum is Latin for "to burn with desire, within."
Chapter Nine: Aestou Insum
There is a darkness within everyone. She is aware of that. There are always two sides to a coin. There are always two choices. One and one and she has always gone with what she knew to be right. Straight laced and bright with no shades of grey. Much like the whiteness that Noctis always made a point of bringing out when comparing the two of them together. He was all blackness and shadow, she was the openness of light. Beside her, he said he felt tarnished and exposed. Like one black stain on her best white dress. Then there was Joseph. Joseph who was so much like Noctis. One who walked with doom and gloom weighing heavily upon his shoulders. A weighty responsibility that he shouldered willingly and unfailingly. Both of whom had extraordinary gifts that would terrify mortal men. Two dark figures in a land of night. Two dark knights who hovered over a darkened city. Yet it always seemed to her that they were more soldiers of light than dark.
There is also light within everyone as well. Not all the world is night afterall. There was always a balance. There was always an equal footing for each. There was always half dark and half light. The question is, who really is dark and who really is light? Appearances can be deceiving afterall.
Where did desires come into play in the accountability of choice? Were they dark or were they light? Was it sinful to desire? Was it sinful not to desire? What did the secret person of the heart truly wish for? There is a difference of what one wishes to have and what one needs to have. Needs should not be hidden and was that not what we really wanted deep side, anyway? Then why, did that person deep within someone, keep secret?
You want the light, Stella. You have always wanted the light.
Yes, she did, had since the day it had happened. When she was not entirely of the living. It was difficult to keep herself from staring above and yearning for it sometimes. Sometimes she could hear it calling her name and whispering of things that is not sure were not her own wishes doing the actual speaking. Wishing that the light were within her grasp instead of just out of reach. It called to her so often. It beckoned her towards it and yet nothing she could do, could bring it closer. It was like a dream in which no matter how fast or how far she ran, it was always just a little bit further away. She feels stuck within that dream now. Half her body is swallowed up in blackness and the other lit up in vibrant rays of light. The two sides of the coin. The two choices to make.
Let me help you, Stella. Let me take you to the light.
That voice. So soothing and so full of sincerity. It is familiar and yet not. She must have heard it once before. Its tone says it is not the first time she has heard this call. Had she? Truly? She does not think she would have forgotten the tone of that voice. The subtle lilt that made it sound hypnotizing and melodic. A lyrical tone that could mesmerize an unwary soul. Then there is the soft brush of a hand against her cheek that is just as soothing. Warm fingers trace the curve of her cheek and down to her chin in an intimate caress. A familiar touch. Or was it?
It's time to wake.
The brush of that hand does not fade away as the haziness of sleep recedes. Neither did the soft reassuring sounds of that voice. Both seem intent on coaxing her back to awareness and the sense that something is not right pervaded this bubble of ease she and they are encased within. Slowly, her eyes blink open to a blurry, rippling image of something standing over her. There is another voice in the background as she tries to focus her eyes to see the face, but it is too distant to focus on at all. This other voice is factual and rehearsed and it takes her foggy mind awhile to process what it is. It takes a few more blinks before the blur becomes a solid shape and a face forms just above hers.
"You," she tries to mutter, but it comes out croaked in her dry mouth.
"Me," he teasingly responds, with small smile on his lips.
She blinks harder to keep focus before she frowns up into his face.
"Noctis killed you," she points out lamely.
"He certainly tried," he replies with that same smile. He does not stop the slow movements of his warm hand against her cheek.
She remembers this face. So often hidden underneath a white hood, there was still no hiding the long blond hair and piercing green eyes. He looked the same and yet, altered in some way that she could not quite place. The devious smirk that he had greeted Noctis with so many months ago was gone and what remained was a patient, serene expression. An expression that seemed almost too serene to be real. The white skin with bright yellow hair enhanced the bright green irises the sparkle in varying shades. She wants to slap that hand away from her face but finds her arms will not move under her direction. In fact, she cannot move any other parts of her body but her face. Still too hazy from just waking, she merely settles for glaring up at his angelic face.
"Remove your hand from my face," she demands, but it comes out sounding tired and meek.
The gentle touches do not even pause and he smiles at her look of indignation.
"Such fire within those sapphire eyes," he compliments, seeming to enjoy her ire, before his eyes settle onto her dry lips.
"Why have you been trying to take me?" she asks pressing the back of her head against the soft pillow beneath her head in a vain effort to put some distance between them. He was too close. He was too overbearing in his presence.
"How long it's been," he murmurs to himself, as if she had not spoken.
Slowly, he traces the lines of her face with his eyes in what looked to be renewed appreciation. This did not seem right. This was not right at all. There had never, ever been anything like this between them before. It is only when he looks up to study her eyes that he finally causes his touch to pause. He gazes deeply into her irises. So closely that she can see her stunned expression reflected off his own. When he leans back it is still not far back enough. Then his head tilts as he continues to hold her with his stare as he finally ponders over her question.
"I see Joseph has not told you."
He lets out a sound of humor that is not quite a chuckle before he leans completely away and she is forced to turn her head to keep him within her sights.
"How do you know Joseph?" she asks.
"How do you know Joseph, Stella?" he counters.
She frowns at his question. "I do not understand how that makes any difference."
"Maybe it doesn't," he replies with a shrug. "But I'm sure it makes a difference to him as it does to me."
"I have never liked riddles," she states boldly.
He smiles fully at her in response. It is not an insulting smile but that of one who is chiding and teasing.
"You were not like this before," she finds herself saying. No, he had been different and far more obvious with his ill intent. His face has always held snide contempt but now, it was different. The contrast in expressions made his face look different, but not entirely different.
"No, I was not," he agrees with a sigh. It sounds wistful and thoughtful. "Joseph, being his secretive self, is nothing new. He's always lacked the ability to control his emotions. But I am surprised that Amanda never mentioned anything to you. She has never struck me as stupid."
"Amanda?" she asks blankly. Not that she had been clueless as to her friend's full name. It was just the way that Joseph had spoken it and this man too says it, that makes her question it.
"Has Joseph seen her yet?" his face looks genuinely intrigued and that only confuses her more.
"Why does that matter?" she asks, carefully avoiding the question.
"He was at her flat so I'm assuming he did?" he continues on with a raised eyebrow.
Her eyes narrow as she tries to see him through different eyes.
"You were there too," she accuses. "You were the one that got away."
"Joseph didn't mention that either?" he asks, giving her a mischievous smile. "I suppose he might not have even recognized me the way I am now."
"What is the purpose for all of this?" she asks, hoping to gain some understanding to this madness. "Why have you started this?"
"Not I," he reassures. "Etro has a very twisted sense of humor, I must say."
"Etro?"
He gives her a smile. "Is there something to be said about a goddess who treats her servants like this?" he asks her in a taunting way. It was that mocking tone of an unbeliever. She has heard it before but she is surprised to hear it from him. "You who worship her so faithfully and she rewards you with me."
"Please say what you mean and not what you could mean?" she shoots back with a glare. Beside her, her hand twitches in her anger and she tries her best to hide the surprise of the movement. Now if only she could gain control of her entire body.
"No waxing poetry to one so lovely," he muses with another warm smile. His eyes move to her hand. "You're coming out of the paralysis. I do apologize for the crudeness of that but it couldn't be helped."
"You can prove your sincerity by telling me what you want," she demands. He had done more than just knock her out. Somehow he had reached into her very being and shut her off, like a light switch. She has never seen such skill or power.
Instead of growing agitated, he lets out a patient sigh as he leans over her with his hands on either side of her waist. He lowers his face until it is so close to her own that she can feel the warmth of his skin and the tickling of his breath.
"Are you sure you want to know, my dear Star Defender?" he saying temptingly.
She strains her neck in an attempt to put some distance between their faces in reaction.
His face goes serious then and he pushes away from the small cot in which she rests, to walk towards the voice of the newscaster displayed on the television screen.
"In the wake of such tragic events, the visiting dignitaries are demanding Prince Noctis to lead the peoples into a full scale war against the terrorists known as the 'Amalgams'."
"I'm a terrorist now," he comments lightly. He turns his head to smirk at her.
"An emergency summit meeting will be held later this afternoon in what they expect to be preparations for battle against this evil phenomenon that seems to be sweeping through the city," relays the newscaster. "Reports are coming in from all over the city of people who have been encountering these monsters. Citizens are advised to stay indoors and any who show signs of influenza should report immediately to a nearby hospital."
"Influenza…," she says distantly as she thinks this over. A flash of Noctis' feverish face and shaking body race through her mind. Her eyes fly to the blonde man's face. "The news reported the approaching flu season. These people do not really have the flu."
"Astute," he comments with an approving smile.
Her eyes widen in horror. "When they get the vaccination…"
"They are given something a little extra."
She lets out a strangled cry of dismay. "You are infecting the entire city?"
"Well, not the entire city as not everyone gets vaccinated, no matter the suggestion to get one," he corrects contritely.
"Is this what you wanted?" she demands angrily. "War?"
"Peace can only be achieved when those worthy are left alive," he states evenly.
"And who are you to decide who is worthy and who is not?"
"Doesn't it make you want to smirk knowing that the very man they want to take charge against the dreadful monsters, is one himself?"
"Noctis is not a monster," she argues defensively.
"You don't think so because you think you're in love with him," he says in response and gives her another small smile.
"What do you mean by that?" she asks indignantly.
"You're alike and not," he observes fondly. "I think I like you best though. You're confused again and I mean to fix that. I won't let you do something foolhardy like the last time."
"What are you talking about?" she demands, sitting up in one fluid motion. The movement startles her away from her anger to surprise.
"Already fought it off, have you?" he observes, taking steps towards her again.
"Stay away from me," she hisses, pushing away until her back meets the hard wall behind her. In reaction to her vulnerability, her rune flashes, crystals sparkle around her and her rapier appears in her hand.
He stops his approach to stare at her in what looks like fond appreciation and it makes her feel even more uneasy. If he had threatened her, she does not think she would be more frightened than she is now.
"Stunning," he comments with genuine affection. "Do you think you can harm me, Stella?"
"If I must," she vows, swinging the blade in front of her.
He does not move, does not show a flicker of doubt within his eyes, as she points the edge of it just a touch away from his Adam's apple.
"Perhaps I'd welcome it," he offers with a smile still at the edges of his mouth. "One does grow tired of living so much."
"Then why did you come back?" she asks, pressing the tip of her blade against his white skin. Her grip tightens at the hilt to emphasis her warning.
"I told you," he says just as patiently as before. "Etro has a twisted sense of humor."
He steps into the blade, not much, but enough so that it pierces his white skin. A small trickle of blood begins to slide down her rapier.
"No!" she cries, letting go of her sword and jumping away from the red liquid before it can come in contact with her skin. She flies off the cot and tries to escape through the only door that she can see, only to have him block her way. Forced to back away, he maneuvers her against the far wall and traps her there.
Drops of blood stain the collar of his otherwise pristine white coat but he does not pay it any mind as he regards her, where she tries her best to keep any sort of distance between them. He holds her gaze as he lifts a hand casually to his throat. A flash of light and when he removes his hand, the cut is healed completely, vanishing like it had never been slashed to begin with. With another, small flash, the stains on his coat disappear just as quickly. He actually has the nerve to quirk his lips as he stares pointed from her to the where the stains had been.
"It's not your place to do it," he tells her calmly. He has the sort of smile that one familiar and intimate with her would have. Someone who knew her secrets. Which did not make any sort of sense.
"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" she asks, trying to go for disdain but knows that she ends up looking more confused instead.
"How am I looking at you?" he asks with a step closer. The smile gives him away though. He knew exactly what she was referring to but chose to mock her about it.
"Like… we… are lovers," she hesitates on the word because it sounds too distorted to even say.
He lets out a small sound of amusement in reply to that, as he continues to come uncomfortably close again. His long bangs fall over his dark green eyes as he stops just a breathe from her and looks down at intently. His features are soft, handsome in a pleasant way and would have been appealing if he did not leave her feeling so uneasy. Uneasy in a way that drew forth her flight instincts to get as far as she could from him. He leaves her feeling uncomfortable, unsure and completely off kilter by his gentle manner. Before she can try to at least push him away, he lifts a gentle hand to lift her face up to meet his eyes.
"Don't be afraid of me, Star Defender," he says softly.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" she asks shallowly. She tries to press herself further back away from him but it only gives him leave to lean in closer.
"I know what you desire," he says, giving her a serious look. "And I'll give it to you. She didn't trust me before, but this is…" He stops himself and shakes his head, keeping the last of his words to himself. Finally, he pulls away and she barely holds the sigh of relief from escaping her lungs. "Life isn't fair is it?"
"Life is what you make it," she says automatically.
He smiles at her in that adoring way again. "Yes, it is, now," he agrees. "I'm going to make it even."
He unbalances her so much that her brain feels scattered and chaotic. So that when he leans in again, she does not register the closeness until his lips are pressing against hers. She lets out a squeak of protest that is muffled by his lips on hers and her hands move to clutch his arms to try and push him away. When she tries to shove him away, he only presses harder against her until she can do nothing else but reluctantly accept his kiss. Only when she gives up her fight, does he pull away and smile knowingly at her. The smile looks smug and satisfied and she can feel the anger rise within her.
"Get away from her," comes hissing from behind him.
"Noctis," she breathes involuntarily. She feels stronger now in his presence. His strong presence that grounded her as this man undid her. When she looks up at the blonde man again, his eyes are darkened in anger. She can see the trembling danger of it for a moment before it is gone. His hand squeezes her waist firmly but not painfully as the rage subsides. When he turns his head, his face is back to its pleasant mask.
"You've come then," he comments, letting her go and she almost sinks to the floor in relief.
"How did you survive?" demands Noctis in a low dangerous voice.
"Questions, questions," he admonishes. "You're never asking the right questions."
"Why can you not stay dead then?" Noctis retorts dryly.
"You'd have to take that up with the goddess," is the smug response. "You can't fight me now. You haven't gotten used to your
new gift and I'd hate for you to miss your summit meeting in a few hours."
That sounded ominous.
"What are you planning to do?" she demands, managing to find her voice. He could not have been more clear about his intentions.
When he turns to regard her, his eyes are kind, genuinely kind and she wonders why she merits such warm treatment from this scary man.
"Don't worry," he says in a reassuring tone that does not reassure her at all. "You can't stop it and I won't ruin the surprise for you." He looks almost poised to touch her face again but stops himself with a chiding shake of his head before turning to give Noctis a gloating look. "Tell Joseph, this time, you both lose the things you want the most."
Before either of them can react to his words, he is gone is a flash of gossamer blue light with only streaks of glowing beams to prove that he had once been there. There is also the subtle essence of Crystals in the air, but none fall as they usually did. She feels out of breathe and weak as she turns to look at Noctis. Looking at him feels like a safe haven in a world that has suddenly turned sinister.
"Are you all right?" he asks. He does not take a step towards her, as she hopes he would, but stands where he is, giving her a puzzled look. His own breathe is short, just as hers, but while hers was from fear, his was from anger.
"He did not harm me," she answers with a shake of her head and starts to make her way towards him.. If he was not going to come to her, she was going to go to him. "Are you?"
He gives her a torn look and she notices, now from up close, that he is not all right at all. Though he does not look so feverish as before, he does not look completely himself either. "No," he confesses through clenched teeth. "I am not all right."
She flies to him when he staggers but stop short when he rejects her help to steady him with a raise of his hand.
"Noctis?" she says, wounded, as if he has struck her.
"No," he says with a shake of his head. He stumbles his way over to the bed she had been before and falls onto the mattress. Then she sees just how not all right he really was.
She lets out a startled cry and kneels beside him on the bed.
"You, you cannot touch me, Stella," he stammers between gasps of breathe. He clutches at his left shoulder while a steady trickle of blood leaks from underneath his leather jacket. She notices now that it was only the black that had shielded just how much blood had already stained the difficult material.
"This will not do," she says with a shake of her head. That she cannot even dress his wounds for him for fear of becoming exposed makes her angry. She hates to feel useless and helpless and she feels both now. That she could do nothing else but sit here and watch him suffer without giving him any sort of aid was not acceptable. Would this be how they would live the rest of their lives? With her not able to properly touch him without fear of becoming… what? He was not a monster now and in her eyes, he never would be. How bad could this possibly be? She really did not care that if she did become exposed. Noctis was already infected and if it meant she could never really touch him for fear of exposure, she would expose herself right this second.
Two hands grab of hold of each of her shoulders gently, but firmly and pull her away from Noctis before she can carry out her plans. She struggles briefly against it until she catches the look on Noctis' face. It immediately sobers her to see him look so exposed and fragile. Exposed and fragile for her sake at that. His eyes, now back to their brilliant blue, beseech her not to do it. Not to give him the guilty knowledge of being the one to taint her. Was it really a taint? Would it taint her to be united with him in this? She did not think so. She refuses to believe so.
"No, Stella," comes the husky, familiar voice of Joseph. He squeezes both her shoulders to press his point, before releasing her to see to Noctis. They regard each other carefully as Joseph looks over Noctis to see where he is injured. "You're going to have to get that checked out."
"Joseph, how do you know Aureus?" Noctis asks immediately.
Aureus? She had not known that Noctis had known that man's name.
"Golden?" Joseph asks with a frown. "I don't know anyone by that name."
"He said he knew you," she points out, coming closer but staying far enough way so as not to make Noctis wary. "But he said he does not look the same."
"He knew me," Joseph repeats, squinting in thought as he looks down at the floor. "That doesn't make any sense."
She watches as his eyes rove about the room as if to find some clue as to who this person was. That he was being honest was written plainly, but Aureus had seemed so sure. It is only because she is watching him so carefully that she sees the instant that he understands.
"No," he whispers as his eyes widen, looking at something behind her. He walks past her, shoulders absolutely rigged as he makes his way over to the small screen that is still broadcasting the news and picks up something that had been resting on top of it.
"What is it?" Noctis asks from behind her.
Joseph lets out a shuddering breathe before he turns around and holds up a pair of eyeglasses. It meant something to him, but she frowns at the unfamiliar object. It did not even look like Phil's and he was the only person she was close to that wore them. A quick look back at Noctis says that he does not understand the meaning either, which can only mean that it was left as a message to Joseph alone. When she turns to look at Joseph again, he is already looking straight at her with such intensity that his red eyes ripple with his barely suppressed rage. His trembling hand looks as if it wants to snap the frames in two to vent his anger. Slowly, as he seems to reign in his emotions, the look in his eyes change to something akin to longing and affection as he continues to stare at her. Finally, he lets out a low breathe as he releases the tension and his eyes close as if pained. It was as if the sight of her was suddenly too painful for him and there is nothing she can think of to justify it. When he looks at her again his eyes look so young and yet so old at the same time. The anger is gone and a calm understanding remains. Within that moment, it seems as if he understands Aureus and yet knows he will still oppose him.
"Alea iacta est," Joseph murmurs in a tone that sounds like a prayer. "Faber quisque fortunae suae."
"What are you not telling us?" asks Noctis.
Joseph looks past her at Noctis, this time his look is almost relieved and glad.
"He won't harm Stella," he tells Noctis.
"That brings me no comfort," she says, wondering why he would say such a thing.
"It does to me," snaps Noctis, in a way that has her heart speeding up. He and Joseph trade one of those infuriating looks where they seem to be communicating through their shared link and it is another thing that goes on the list for why she was for, becoming what they were.
After a moment, Joseph turns swiftly for the door.
"Not so fast Joseph," she calls at his back.
He pauses in the doorway and waits for her, but he does not turn around.
"He said there were things you were keeping from me," she accuses, hoping that he would answer her plainly for once.
He straightens his spine but still refuses to look back at her.
"I want an answer," she demands. "He brought me here for a reason, so I have every right to ask for one."
For a brief moment, she is afraid he will leave without answering and then he lets out a defeated sigh.
"He loves you," he says quietly, turning around to look at her. "Even more than I do."
He looks at Noctis again and then is gone without another word.
The statement is so outrageous, she is rendered speechless until he disappears from her sight. Feeling guilty for his confession, she turns to look at Noctis.
"What is he talking about?"
"You are not exactly one a man cannot help but love," he says and that he can actually tease her right now should have made her feel better but instead only aggravates her. Why was he not angry? Maybe just a tad angry, in response to Joseph's statement. Well, he did look angry but not at Joseph and certainly not for what Joseph had claimed. Did he not care what Joseph had just stated? She was going to form a migraine with how confused she is.
"I am starting to really dislike it when you two do that," she says, breaking the awkward silence with a glare.
"Dislike what?" he asks with a false innocence that does not fool her in the slightest.
"Trade looks and know what the other is thinking, leaving me in the dark," she complains.
"Trust me, it doesn't get any better either," comments a feminine voice from the doorway.
"Am!" she cries in welcome, dashing to her friend for a much needed embrace.
"Are you okay, honey?" Am asks, patting her shoulder reassuringly and she almost wants to cry.
"No," she nearly cries anyway, before turning to frown at Noctis like a child. "I have no understanding of any of this. Who was that man and why did Joseph just tell me…?" She stops herself before she can repeat the exact words, remembering just who she was about to tell. Her eyes fly to Am's and suddenly feels ashamed.
"Joseph was here?" Am asks, looking startled.
"Yes," she nods. "You did not see him when you came in?"
Am shakes her head looking a cross between relieved and sad.
"What did Joseph say to you?" Am asks, looking between her and Noctis.
"There was not much that either one did say that made much sense to me," she complains with a confused frown.
Am gives her an understanding smile and it makes her feel even more guilty.
"I'm sure they didn't make any sense to you," Am says. "Don't feel bad. I won't get mad at you, whatever it is."
"Noct! Joseph said you were wounded… what..?" shouts out Cal as he makes his way inside the room. He stops short at the grim look that must be on their faces. "That doesn't look any sort of good."
"Cal, what in the world are you wearing?" asks Noctis in his dry tone that, despite the how dire everything was, she almost chuckles in response to.
Cal did look ridiculous. She doubts she would have even recognized him underneath all of those plastic layers that he was currently donning. None of which actually matched either. He was covered head to toe in what looked to be a homemade contamination suit that looked more like plastic wrap, liberally wound around his thin form. It would be easy for him to pass for a mummy.
"Taking precautions," Cal says seriously, making his way over to Noctis and helping him to his feet. "Good thing too cause you'd have to carry your own arse out of here."
"Where are the others?" Noctis asks as he puts an arm around Cal's shoulders.
"Coming."
"Do they look just as silly as you do?" chuckles Am endearingly.
"Not all of us can look as hawt as you, Miss. Hottie Catsuit," Cal quips back with his cheeky grin and sly wink.
"You just need a good tailor," is the amused response.
Which brought something else to mind.
"Is that why you always wear such a tight full bodied suit all the time?" she asks, taking a good look at Am's outfit again. She had never really wondered why Am always wore it since it suited her so well. It had always enhanced her curvaceous friend yet it had never seemed for the purpose of putting her assets on display. The suit covered her body so that there was no inch of it that was exposed. Complete with a helmet, it was a very stylish contamination suit now that she thought about it.
"Force of habit," shrugs Am with a shy smile, as they both watch Cal lead Noctis out of the dank.
"How did you know to come here?" Noctis asks Am as he is walking past her. "You were not part of the search and we had split up."
He does not have to mention how quickly Joseph had found him, but she knows he did not have to because Am must already know the answer. She feels like a simpleton with so much left to catch up on. Exactly how much was everyone neglecting to tell her? What were they hiding that seemed so imperative to keep from her?
"I wasn't here looking for any of you," Am says, reflecting over that with a slight frown. "I came here because of all the strange incidences that have been reported here lately."
"Just where is here anyway?" she asks, feeling even more foolish for not thinking to ask before.
"Unconscious that long eh, Stell?" teases Cal as they start to make their way down a dark stone tunnel.
"This is the freeway construction site," Noctis explains and then looks around. "Underneath it anyway. I wager this was why they were having so many difficulties in completing it."
"We are underground then?"
"Yes," he answers.
"More than just a little too," adds Cal. "Good place for an evil lair, I gotta admit."
She can see the forms of Phil and Durus then, as they make their way quickly towards them. For a moment, she wonders if they are dressed as ridiculously as Cal is, but scratches that once she sees them under the low light the tunnel offered. They had, like Am, decided to wear something a little more practical and far more flattering.
"They're still making mine," grumbles Cal as if he can read their minds.
"We have one for everyone now," answers Phil, as he looks over Noctis.
"I am fine," reassures Noctis.
"How did you get hurt?" Durus asks, giving him a hand.
"A Mutatio swiped at me and I had not dodged it in time," he says nonchalantly and would have shrugged if it was not his shoulder that had been injured. "It is not so bad as it looks."
"It's enough though," points out Phil.
He leaves the rest open but they all know what he means. The injury was not life threatening but he had no time to heal it before fighting again.
"He won't need too much time," Am says confidently. "But he doesn't even have that much right now."
When they all turn to look at her questioningly she adds, "The nanos in his system will repair the damage. That's what they were originally for. To help children who had lost limbs and such."
"When this is all over, I think I would like it if you and Joseph explained everything to me," says Noctis calmly, but the warning is evident in his tone. "There seems to be much that I am not privy to."
"The both of you deserve to know," Am agrees with a nod.
She knows she should be a little upset that Am has kept as much as she apparently has from her, but finds that it would be hypocritical to. There were many things she had never shared with her herself. All she really feels right now is sympathy for the pain, heartbreak and overall loneliness that Am must have felt all this time. Then to have the man you loved, pushed into your face like Joseph had, must be torturous. She tries not to delve too deeply into that because she knows Am would not want her pity so she looks down towards the other end of the tunnel.
"Is there an underground passage that leads directly under where the summit meeting will be held?" she asks.
Noctis squints his eyes as he catches on to her line of thought and they stop their progress to look towards the darkness.
"We never did get to those underground passage ways," Phil says with a tired sigh.
"We can't stop him anyway," Am reminds them.
"No," she says in agreement. "But we can at least try to figure out what his plan is."
"Come," motions Noctis, looking at her intently before looking at Am. "We must make ready. Would you happen to know how to plan such a last minute mission without the aid of any electronics?"
Am gives him a hesitant smile and then looks at Phil in sympathy. "Phil's not gonna like that."
"No, but I don't like any of this already," says Phil with a small smile in reply.
"Am?" she cannot help but ask. She waits until her friend looks at her before raising the question. "When we asked Joseph if he knew Aureus, he said he had not, but it is clear that you both know him."
"His name wasn't Aureus where we're from," Am answers hesitantly.
"Where you're from?" leads Cal.
"Not from anywhere you know," Am replies.
"What was he called?" Noctis asks.
"Xargin."
Chapter was influenced by "Undisclosed Desires" by Muse. Author's Notes will be posted.