A/N: Hey guys…yet again! I told you I would post after school ended, well, I'm keeping my promise, and I hope you like it! Comments are appreciated, flames are tolerated, I can learn from them! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar or any of the characters in it. The answers from the characters in this fic are purely up for interpretation, as they are just my suspicions for what will occur on the actual show.

"Hey! Watch it! That is a very delicate piece of equipment!"

Crash.

"So what if it's a just piece of blue metal? It's one of my tribe's prided weapons! And it works really well!"

Bang!

"Yikes! You don't believe me? Well…"

JesusFreak and FallShort sat facing the audience, smiling sheepishly in utter silence as several loud crashes and shouts of frustration were heard backstage. The eldest of the two folded her hands apologetically, and the younger glanced around the studio, whistling to hide her embarrassment.

Whoosh!

Whack!

Whoosh!

"Take that! Oh yeah, Mr. Head, meet Mr. Boomerang! Ha ha!"

Slap.

"Yowch!"

Thud.

"Hey, no! Not the sword! Not the…holy cow-pigs! What are you, the secret society of metalbenders Toph has yet to discover? Bend my sword back! Give it back, I say!"

Crunch!

A gasp of horror was heard. "You didn't!" A pause. "Oh yes you did…"

The entire audience bit their tongues when a blood-curdling war-cry pierced the studio, and FallShort and JesusFreak exchanged hopeless glances. Toph, again securely tied to her post, simply smirked, muttering encouragements under her breath.

"Come on, Snoozles…beat their back ends…"

Crash!

Bam!

Boom!

A resounding noise erupted suddenly, and a disoriented Sokka stumbled onto the stage, gripping his boomerang in one hand and a sadly twisted meteorite sword in the other. The sisters stood to their feet impulsively, expecting trouble.

The water tribe warrior blinked confusedly as his blue eyes focused in on the two girls. His gaze swept to JesusFreak. "Ka—Katara? Look what they did to my sword!" He held it up, whimpering. "I can't believe it!"

The hostess shook her head and glanced toward FallShort, who called out hesitantly, "Scotty! Assistance please!"

JF laughed nervously. "Nice way to start out the new season, huh? After the disaster with Azula…"

FallShort shuddered and rubbed her arms, suddenly feeling ice-cold. "Please, JFreak, just…don't go there."

The burly man appeared immediately and took Sokka by the arm, not unkindly. The warrior tried vainly to wrench himself from Scotty's grasp with a sharp, "Hey!" but the employee led him to the recently repaired character's chair and tied him to it as Sokka protested loudly with grunts, muted demands, and muffled 'ows.'

Once finished, Scotty nodded to FallShort and JesusFreak, tucked Sokka's boomerang and mutilated sword under his arm and left the stage.

JFreak grinned, unsure of how to begin. "So…"

She and FallShort exchanged glances.

Sokka struggled against his bonds. "I demand you let me out of here! What purpose do you intend to use me for? I know nothing, and you can't make me talk!"

Toph rolled her eyes. The warrior hadn't seen her because her 'pole' was a few feet behind him, and being preoccupied with an enormous dude tying him to a chair, he hadn't exactly been observant. "Chill, Snoozles, they'll let you go soon enough. Just hang on and try not to die on me."

"Toph? Is that you?" Sokka's eyes narrowed and he tried to turn his head around to look at her.

The earthbender blew air from her mouth exasperatingly. "Who do you think? The Tooth Fairy?"

"Who's the Tooth Fairy? Wait…'chill?'"

"Ugh…the Tooth Fairy is some weird creature that comes to get your baby teeth under your pillow in the middle of the night. And then gives you money."

"A gold piece?"

"No, a quarter."

"What's a quarter?"

"I have no idea, but it's definitely not money. It has some guy's head on it."

Sokka shuddered. "Creepy!"

"That's not the worst thing about this place."

"What is?"

"The worst thing is these two."

She gestured toward FallShort and JesusFreak, who decided at the same time to take control of the situation. JesusFreak turned to the audience. "Okay, guys, as you've probably guessed, if you're not completely out of it, we're back."

FallShort intervened. "And with us we've brought the guy you've all been waiting and watching for…Sokka!"

"What is this, some criminal investigation?" the warrior's upper lip curled in what he thought was a menacing snarl. It looked more like he was about to release his stomach contents onto the wooden stage floor.

"Look, Boomerang Guy," JesusFreak swung up over the desk and got all in Sokka's face. "We all love you, okay? At least all the insane people do. So anyone who has an objection to his being here…" she turned to the audience, "We will not hold it against you if you leave NOW."

No one moved.

Silence.

Someone made a cricket noise with their teeth in the back.

JesusFreak glared until the audience was quiet once more.

"Good," she continued after a moment, "Everyone's insane. So, Sokka, I suggest you take Toph's advice and don't hold your breath. This will be an extremely long wait."

FallShort leaned forward, her palms flat on the table. "And I suggest you take JFreak's advice to take Toph's advice."

"And I suggest you take FS's advice to take my advice to take Toph's advice."

"And I suggest you take JF's advice to take FallShort's advice to take JF's advice to take my advice."

"And I suggest you take Toph's advice to take my advice to take FShort's advice to take my advice to take Toph's advice."

"And I suggest you should take JFreak's advice to take my advice to take FallShort's advice to take JFreak's advice to take my advice."

"And I suggest you take Toph's advice to take…"

FallShort rolled her eyes. "And I suggest that all of you SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLES before I hurt you!"

JesusFreak and Toph were silent instantly.

FallShort sighed. "Okay, everyone, now to the real reason we're here!" She pulls out the Review Jar and hands it to her sister. "It's all yours."

JesusFreak grinned maniacally and snatched the jar, stuffing her hand in the neck and digging around in it.

Five. Minutes. Later.

"Uh…JF, are you going to be done anytime soon?"

"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

FallShort sighed. "One…"

"NO! NOT THE DREADED COUNTING! NOOOOOO!"

"Two…"

"AHHH! MUST HURRY! MUST FIND THE RIGHT ONE! AHH!"

"Three…"

"BE QUIET, WILL YOU?! I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE!! YIKES!"

Squeak! Eeeep!

"Four…"

"RATTY! HOW'D YOU GET IN HERE!? GET OUT! GET OUT THIS INSTANT!!"

Squeeeeeeeeeeee…thud.

"Fi…Did you just do what I think you just did?"

Sokka's eyes were wide. "She threw the thing against the wall!"

FallShort glared. "No need for the clarification, thank you!"

"ANIMAL ABUSE! ANIMAL ABUSE! SOMEONE CALL THE ASPCA! CALL THE ANIMAL SHELTERS! WE MUST GET THIS INHUMANE CREATURE IN THE SLAMMER!!"

Silence.

FallShort shook her head. "JFreak, you know you have a serious problem, right? You threw Ratty and you are yelling to the heavens that someone needs to turn you in. Life must be treating you pretty hard, huh?"

JesusFreak grinned as she continued to rummage. "Actually, no! As of two days ago, I am no longer failing any of my classes! And the best part is…SCHOOL'S OVER!!"

FallShort nodded. "Ah, school. Its amazing what eight hours of sitting quietly at a desk working on difficult brain-melting assignments can do to you."

Toph snorted. "So that's what's wrong with you all."

"YES!" JesusFreak shouted. "SCHOOL IS KILLING US ALL! LET'S GO ON STRIKE!!"

FallShort rolled her eyes. "I highly doubt that'll help."

JesusFreak glared. "You know, that one time, when IB, me, about seventy-three of my classmates, and all of our parents went on strike from the lunch line at school, not buying anything for a whole six months, they actually made the prices cheaper! All those days of peanut-butter and jelly and tap water from home paid off!"

FallShort shook her head sadly. "Four bucks for a can of soda! It was absolutely ridiculous! You'd think they were going broke or something, yet they had enough money to buy fifty new computers for the science labs!"

"I KNOW!"

Sokka glanced toward Toph. "Bucks? Like male deer-wolves?"

The earthbender shook her head. "No, it's another type of their weird money. But it's made out of parchment stuff."

"Paper-money called 'bucks?' That's…I don't know what it is! It's just…ridiculous!"

FallShort's eyes fell on him. "Not when you can buy things with it."

"Yeah," JesusFreak piped, "If you love soda…or any other material thing in life!"

"Right…" FallShort jerked her head toward the review jar. "Shall we get on with the show before our audience dies of sheer boredom?"

JesusFreak nodded thoughtfully, glancing at the jar still in her arms. "Okay…let's do this!" She rummaged around again, but not for long, before her hand reemerged, a small piece of paper held between her thumb and index finger. "HERE WE GO! First question is from Heihachi-katayama!"

Sokka shook his head in bewilderment. "Hachi-what? You people have strange names!"

Toph snorted in agreement. "Along with everything else about them!"

JesusFreak glared. Sokka shut his mouth.

"Okay…Heihachi-katayama writes: Sokka- Why did you make your sword out of a comet? Didn't you know comets ALWAYS have aliens in them?!"

Toph laughed.

Sokka glanced back at her critically. "The funny part of this entire ordeal escapes me."

The earthbender rolled her eyes. "Ah, you get used to it after a while. This show…or whatever it is…is meant to be funny. What harm can it be to laugh at the worst moments?"

The warrior shook his head. "I still don't get the point…but I guess I should probably answer the question, shouldn't I…?"

FallShort glanced sideways toward JFreak. "If you don't, I think my lil' sis will explode with anticipation."

"YA THINK?!"

FallShort's eyebrow rose as she brushed a strand of hair back that had fallen in front of her eyes. "Wow, I think I actually felt the wind that time, JF! You are turning into an airbender!"

"Ha ha," JesusFreak frowned, turning to Sokka. "JUST ANSWER IT!"

The warrior blinked fearfully. "Okay…uh, it wasn't a comet, it was a meteorite. Comets are made of ice and stuff…"

"Hey…wait a minute!" FallShort cried.

"WHAT IS IT??" JesusFreak jumped up, startled.

"I just realized something!"

"WHAT?!"

"If comets are made of ICE, how can they give firebenders strength? Wouldn't they give WATERBENDERS strength?"

JesusFreak smirked. "And you said you weren't ever going to get involved with a 'children's' show."

FallShort sputtered. "A:TLA is different! It's…"

"WELCOME TO THE FAMILY, SIS! As of now we have yet another member of the Crazed Avatar Fandom!"

Audience cheers madly, screeches and shouts filling the studio.

"Wait a second!"

The entire audience fell suddenly silent, and every eye turned to look at the person who had spoken.

Sokka blinked. "Stop staring at me like that!"

Toph rolled her sightless eyes. "Get used to it, Snoozles. Either that or ignore it like I do."

The Water Tribe warrior frowned. "Okay…uh…can we get on with this? My ear's starting to itch, and these restraints don't help matters. And has anyone ever told you this chair is really uncomfortable."

JesusFreak gave a short laugh. "Oh, we would never want you to be uncomfortable!"

FallShort crossed her arms. "Well, it was comfortable before Azula—destroyed—it. So, sorry about that."

"Anywho—NEXT QUESTION! It's from FireNutZuko, who writes: 'To Sokka: WHY WON'T YOU BECOME A VEGETARIAN?!"

The warrior blinked. "Are you kidding me? If I was a vegetarian, I'd die from lack-of-meat disease!"

FallShort rolled her eyes. "No, really? Lack-of-meat disease? Wherever could you have gotten that?"

JesusFreak jumped up to sit on the desk. "Well, Aang's a vegetarian—and he hasn't died from lack-of-meat disease."

Sokka shrugged. "He's never eaten meat. Meat is like wine—you eat it once, you can never get enough of it. And if you stop—you get lack-of-meat disease."

FallShort laughed. "So, you're saying you're an addict, and you don't want to experience withdrawal symptoms, so you never stop eating it?"

He grinned. "Pretty much."

The older hostess shrugged. "Okay, then. Case and point. Satisfied, FireNut?"

"Zuko," JesusFreak added.

"Zuko what?" FallShort glanced at her sister.

"FireNut and Zuko. Don't shorten things for your benefit."

"But…"

JFreak jumped to her feet. "ANYWAY, next question is from Michelle the anon! Applause please!"

Silence.

JesusFreak glared. "I said APPLAUSE PLEASE!"

The crowd broke out it loud, half-hearted cheers.

The younger hostess nodded approvingly. "All right, here's Michelle's question: 'Sokka: Do you like Toph?"

The earthbender in question looked startled for a brief second, but masked it quickly behind an expression of indifference.

Sokka completely missed the look. "Of course I like her! She's our friend—and Aang's teacher. She warns us all the time with her uncanny magical seeing-eye skills, and…"

Toph's eyebrow rose. "'Uncanny magical seeing-eye skills?'"

Sokka glanced over his shoulder at her. "Yeah, what you said." He turned back to JesusFreak. "We really couldn't have made it as far as we have without her."

A dramatic pause ensued.

After a moment, FallShort propped her chin in her hand, inspecting her fingernails intently. "You know, you completely missed the point."

Sokka's brow furrowed in confusion. "How so?"

JesusFreak shook her head. "Never mind, let's get on to the next question. I want to go swimming later and I am not going to stay here overtime."

"Swimming?" FallShort glanced up.

JesusFreak stared. "You know, it's called a swimming pool for a reason. I have no idea why other girls just sit on the side of the pool in their swimsuits and try to look pretty. It doesn't. It looks retarded. I go to the pool to swim. Get exercise. Have fun. Play chicken wrestling on your friends' shoulders, for heaven's sake! Get my monkeying hair wet! You can wash the chlorine out later—and you can get a tan just being in the sun, you don't need to lie out in the sun and fry yourself to a crisp! I mean…"

FallShort stood up. "Take it easy, JF, you're getting carried away on your lovely fun-in-the-sun tirade. Let's just focuson the rest of the questions, okay, the faster we get finished, the quicker you can go on your little swimming-fun-time, okay?"

JesusFreak rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm not going to take that comment the wrong way and just deal with it, okay! Oh, and that reminds me…"

"No, sis," FallShort reprimanded, "No more teenage philosophical theories. That was enough for one day. Read the next question."

JesusFreak shrugged and stuck her hand in the jar, pulling out another review. "Okay, Sokka, lets get this over with. This review is from Kittiekat10105, writing, "Sokka: Why are you so oblivious to the fact that Aang loves your little sister?"

"Ooh," FallShort smiled, "That's a good question. I've always wondered that, too!"

The victim in the hotspot character chair blinked. "Wait, he what?"

"Oh, forget it!" JesusFreak groaned, tossing the paper away and shoving her hand back into the jar and yanking out another piece. Glancing at it, and then toward FallShort, she handed it to her sister. "You do the rest. I'm too bored."

"But that's…"

"DO IT!!"

FallShort shrank back. "Okay…touchy. The next review's from Glitterpaw Of ThunderClan, formerly known on the show as the anon Kaliya! 'Question for Sokka: If there was an insane catfight between Yue and Suki, and one of them would have to go to a mental institution, which one would you prevent from going?"

Sokka glanced over the hostess with a critical eye. "What kind of question is that? Yue is the Moon Spirit now. She can't ever go to a mental institution. And Suki—she does some crazy, daring things, but she's too smart and awesome to go to an insane asylum! Though…I have to say, if there was a catfight between the immortal, 'move the tides eternally' Moon Spirit and a Kyoshi Warrior, I would have to say that Yue would win in a landslide. Or an ocean tide! Ha! Get it? Moon Spirit…moves the waves…yeah…okay, I'm being quiet now…"

"Good choice, Sokka," Toph rolled her eyes.

FallShort laughed. "I have to agree with the metalbender on that one. Okay…last and final question!"

JesusFreak sat slumped in her chair, ignoring everyone and sulking.

Her sister glanced over the teen. "Good thing, too. I think JFreak might just become emo very soon."

JF looked up. "Ha, the day I become emo is the day you become sensitive to other peoples needs!"

FallShort ignored her insult and drew out the last paper from the neck of the jar. "Okay, this review is from JF's MFR, number1avatarfanatic: 'Sokka, if you could, would you keep fufu cuddlypoops as a pet? Were you really going to eat that poor creature? What would you do if we turned you into a dog?
(Sokka turns into a dog, and he does embarrassing things for a treat.) We could also hypnotize him as a human and make him do embarrassing things for meat, or we could turn him into a vegetarian!'" FallShort sighed. "If only hypnotism was actually plausible. It would be so cool. JF…" she waved her arms dramatically, "Go clean out the attic."

The younger hostess snorted and made a 'crazy' sign by pointing her index finger at her head and moving it in a steady circle. "In your dreams, physco! Now let the suffering character answer the monkeying question!"

Before FallShort could wave him on, Sokka cut in impatiently. "Of course I was going to eat him! No, I wouldn't keep that creature as a pet—did you see its mom? That thing would have murdelized me! Bad Karma…it can kill. If you turned me into some type of dog, I couldn't throw my boomerang, and that would be a problem. So, please don't."

JesusFreak mumbled. "I wish we could turn you into a dog. Dogs are adorable and fun."

FallShort rolled her eyes.

Sokka was indignant. "What are you saying? That I'm not adorable and fun?" He grinned obnoxiously.

The younger of the two sisters groaned. "No, you're not. You're an exact copy of IB, my twin brother. Attitude, terrible jokes, pretty smart somewhere deep down in his confused brain…he even put his hair up in a wolf-tail one time and ran around all day with a boomerang made of paper, chucking it at us and whacking us in the head."

FallShort moaned. "Oh, not the dreaded impersonation…I think that was the first day in ImaginaryBender's life that I actually was truly AFRAID of him."

"Right there with you," JesusFreak swallowed.

The sisters shuddered.

Sokka and Toph exchanged bemused glances.

"Whelp!" The earthbender finished, "I think that's enough for one day. Snoozles, you're shaking so hard that I can feel you through the wooden stage. Are you afraid or something?"

Sokka shook his head. "No…I just really gotta go pee!"

FallShort stared.

"That's lovely," JFreak grinned. She glanced offstage, letting out a roar so loud that the vibrations shook the studio and everyone present (except for Sokka and Toph, whose hands were tied to prevent them from doing so) covered they're ears.

"SCOTTY!!"

The stage hand ambled into view, and set about dutifully releasing Sokka from his bonds. The warrior practically leapt into his arms as soon as he was free. "Come on, Johnny," the warrior gave the man a shove, to no avail. "Let's go…unless you want a really nasty janitor clean-up job on your hands."

"Actually," FallShort intervened, "That's Freddy the Stage Clean-up Guy's job, and his name is Scotty, not Johnny."

Sokka stared. "I don't care! I drank almost three gallons of water this morning and I can't wait!"

JesusFreak grinned. "Well…since Scotty here is going to escort Mr. Full Bladder to the bathroom, I think it's just about a pretty good time to end the sho…OWCH! WHAT THE MONKEY WAS THAT FOR?!"

"That," FallShort smiled, "Was your rat biting your finger."

"WHAT?! RATTY? I THOUGHT…YOU ALWAYS DO COME BACK!"

Toph blew air from her mouth, exasperated. "Now that doesn't sound familiar at all…"

Appreciative laughter rippled through the crowd as Bob the Cameraman prepared to switch off the camera.

JesusFreak glared at him. "What are you waiting for? I'm going to take my good ol' Ratty swimming."

FallShort's eyebrow rose. "I hope that thing has a lot of lives left. He'll need them."

Toph blinked in agreement. "I can't argue with you on that."

Bleep.