Chapter 10: It all starts somewhere

A/N: Thank you for reading this. I love all my readers! I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. And please, please review!

A/N2: Obviously I am not the wonderful J.K Rowling, but she inspires me so much. Plus she created the wonderful characters and a world I grew up with and it will always influence me.

Snape was surprised when the next morning Harry came down without having to be asked. He came over and sat at the table. "Feeling better Potter?" He asked, cautiously watching the boy to make sure he didn't say anything wrong. Harry nodded and looked up. "I'm sorry Professor. I know that last night is something I shouldn't get used to. I was having some bad memories and…"

"You don't have to explain to me Potter. I understand. I understand it all. And I don't want you thinking that you can't come to me either. You're right. I've hurt you. I didn't know how it would affect you and honestly I do regret being so hard on you at times. I never meant to hurt you. You've been hurt enough. And if I'd been watching you closely I'd have noticed the fear and loneliness in your eyes. I had the same issues, Potter. I should have known. I understand you. And now... I want to be here for you. Please let me in enough to do that."

Harry raised his eyes and sighed. "I appreciate that Snape. I really do. I can't always be the victim though. I want to make it past this so I can be the strong person everyone expects me to be."

"Harry..." Snape walked over and hugged the younger boy, rubbing his back lightly. "Please don't close yourself off again. The best thing that has happened recently is you opening up. Losing that would be like losing you."

Harry shook his head. "Closing you out would be the best situation for both of us Professor. I allowed you to get closer to me than anyone else. I shouldn't need anyone else... and I don't."

Snape frowned and let Harry go, looking him in his eyes. "If you don't need me, that's fine. But you need someone. I don't know how much you can trust Malfoy, but will you at least talk to him? Maybe become friends with him? He's wanted that since you both were 11. He cared about getting your trust then, but gave up when you made your choice to become friends with Weasley's. I find that good and well, but it hurt him."

Harry nodded. "I can... try. I wouldn't mind having friends again."

"I'll ask Draco to come here soon then." Snape said and Harry smiled. "Thank you."

"Of course Harry." He wouldn't tell Harry that he wasn't slightly disappointed. He wanted Harry to feel as safe as he could, which meant he would not pressure the young child to do what he wanted. However, he still wanted Harry to get past this stuff from his past. What could he do? "What can I do to help you though?"

"I don't know..." Harry said, and looked up at Snape, but wouldn't look in his eyes. "I don't think there's anything you can do."

"That's a lie and you know it Potter. I am offering to help you. You know how rare that is for me. Is there a potion I can make you? Is there a way to bring your memories to the forefront so I can help you work past them?" Had he really said that out loud? Of course Harry wouldn't want to share that with him. Of course, what he didn't expect was Harry to clam up and start shaking. He shook his head.

"Harry..."

Harry curled into a ball and shook his head. Snape walked closer, but Harry yelled. "Stay away! No more memories! No more of my past! I don't want it!"

"Harry, your past is what defines you. I won't make you do so though."

Harry was still shaking but he nodded. He stayed curled in a ball and rocked himself. Had he really brought this upon the student he was trying to protect? He'd caused Harry hurt and pain. He didn't like that. He hated seeing Harry in pain. "A dreamless sleep potion?" He said, watching Harry look up curiously. "Something that keeps memories away while you sleep so that way you can get enough away from them to keep moving? You need something Potter and if it helps, I will help you make one so that way you can sleep at night. I know you've had some trouble with that."

"Professor..."

"Please, at least until school starts, stop thinking of me as your professor. You said you would allow me to be your temporary guardian and if that's the truth, then you need me to protect you some too. No matter if that means me holding you or finding someone else who can. It also means trusting me. For the rest of what we have for this summer, please just call me Severus. That's me Harry. Being as open and honest with you as I can."

Harry frowned and let the words flow to him. He felt some of his muscles relax and nodded. "I will try to do that Sn- Severus. Thank you for trying to help me. I'd like to help make that dreamless sleep potion. I could definitely use the peace."

Snape nodded and walked over slowly, putting a hand out, waiting for Harry to become comfortable enough to take it. He then helped the young boy up. "And I will try not to be as much of a hardass on you or try to force you to share things you think you can't with me. That stuff is none of my business unless you want me to know."

Harry nodded and smiled softly. "Thank you Severus. What would you like me to do for the potion?"

"Well..." Severus tilted his head. "How about cutting the ingredients for the potion?"

Harry raised his eyes and tilted his head. He was obviously thinking about how he used a knife most recently and didn't feel comfortable doing so. Snape shook his head. "Or I can do that and I'll guide you how to add the ingredients. Maybe then you can become as good at potions as I know you can be."

Harry laughed suddenly. "You think I could be?"

"Yes Potter, I do."

"Harry..."

"Yes, Harry. I believe you have more potential than you let on. I think you can make things right in the classroom and even in your own life. And if you don't think you should talk to me, I won't make you. However, I expect you to respect me as your guardian for now."

"I want you to be my guardian Severus." Snape looked at him cautiously. "You mean that?"

Harry nodded. "For once, I feel safe. Happy. Scared, yes. Although I hope that I can make you happy as well."

"Why would you want me to be happy?" Snape asked, confused.

"Because... you know me. I want to know you too. Your secrets. You told me you know my pain... well, I want to know yours too. Please allow me to."

Snape felt his face flush and he looked at the openness in the boy's eyes. "I'll try to let you in Harry."

"Thank you." Harry said, walking over and hugging the elder man, who was feeling that for once in his life, he might have someone to open up to.