Disclaimer: I don't own "Johnny and June" by Heidi Newfield.

XD Don't worry, not a songfic. There's two lines of the song in here, added so you know what I'm talking about and because, well, it's pretty dang funny!

June

"If he starts singing, Rythmi, I swear to whatever higher power there may be I will stab you," Kate muttered. "I don't care if he's just turned twenty and it's an extra special birthday, you didn't need to get him drunk. And once you got him drunk, you could have solved the problem yourself. And, and even if all this occurs, you could have at least spared me the horror of bringing him to a karaoke bar. Please tell me he's not walking on stage."

"If I had known all it took was a…half a bottle of vodka, damn!" Rythmi's eyes widened. "Heavyweight! And you're drunk?"

"Drunk as a skunk in a funk," Kate agreed, turning in her seat to watch her boyfriend stumble onstage.

He was wearing faded blue jeans and a loose black shirt that supported some kind of disease. He gripped the microphone and tossed his head as if he had hair to toss, hair that wasn't short and spiky and flowed when he shook his head. His did not move and this merely made him look weird as his head swung about, no long hair flowing as is needed for the appropriate head banging move. It was the first line that sent all the drunken rangers laughing: "Oh, there's something 'bout a man in black makes me want to buy a Cadillac, throw the top back and roll down to Jackson town."

She rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Congrats, me! My boyfriend is gay. He likes his men like he likes his likes his technology: covered in black."

And on he went, dancing about the stage and singing with all his heart. "I wanna love like Johnny and June!" seemed to be his favorite line, for it was the one he sang the loudest and, consequently, the worst. Halfway through his song Kate turned around and slammed her head onto the bar, hoping that she would soon pass out and not have to endure anymore of her boyfriend's singing, and certainly praying that she would die so the calls about her loving him as much as June loved Johnny would quiet down.

It didn't help that two thirds of the way through his performance all her superiors joined in the song. New rangers, old rangers, rangers ranked one through ten were all singing the love song, and a few had even gotten up and began to dance. Rythmi attempted to drag Kate to her feet, but merely got a scathing glare and a threat about making herself throw up all over her pretty sunshiny hair. The pretty operator backed off then.

It only surprised her when her supposed boyfriend kneeled down, his lone, cracking voice singing the final bit of the song. "Kate, it was June when I met you. It was five years later that we graduated together and started our lives, again in June. By coincidence, it wasn't until the next year of June that we met up again. Well, Kate, four more years have passed and it's been a while since we've had a really good June. I was wondering if you'd like to make this the one to remember."

She wrinkled her nose. "Huh?"

"I'll be Johnny Cash if you'll be June Carter." At that point, he pulled out a diamond ring.

While the bar gasped, her drug addled eyes attempted to focus. "A ring? That's marriage stuff, right?"

"You're actually drunk," he sighed with a roll of his eyes. "Typical, Rythmi, best operator I know but the second we ask you to keep an eye on anything other than your job-"

"It's a yes 'til I'm sober," Kate interrupted. "You'll have to ask again in the morning, and we'll have to get married next year to keep with the pattern, but why the hell not? We've got nothing better to do. Plus it's better than you liking men in black and Cadillac's. I love ya, Johnny!"

He pecked her lips and put the ring away, to be used again in the morning. "I love ya too, June."