A.N. Hey everyone, I am so sorry for taking so long for this update! I'd love to say I was incredibly busy and nowhere near a pc or laptop, but the truth is every time I tried writing this chapter I ended up being very unsatisfied and I refused to update when I didn't think it felt right. I guess it was writers block? Anyway, I got a couple of reviews recently that really lifted my spirits so I made myself sit and type until it was done. It isn't much after such a long wait, I know, but hopefully I'll be quicker now this is out of the way! Once again, please let me know what you think and fill my email inbox with suggestions if you have any thoughts or ideas (My e mail address is at the bottom of my profile). Your suggestions really do make it easier to write, meaning faster updates! Thank you so much if you're still reading this! XD

Ej16: *giggles in cyber hugs and munches on cookies* Thank you for being so supportive! The fact you check so often makes me want to just write and write and write so you stay with me! Please don't worry, I won't be leaving this story. I have so many other Blaine/Kurt storyline ideas but I'm resolved to finish this one before I start a new story. I'd really love to hear your thoughts, so if you want please e mail me!

Warblette: I'm really supportive of your idea of having a part all from Blaine's POV, so really it's down to figuring out where it would be best to have it. Thank you! ^^

Mental dance party: Thank you I sometimes struggle when I think the way I write might not make sense to others so I'm glad you liked the flow of the whole story so far since my updates can often be so far apart! I'm a big dark!Blaine fan and I wish there was more out there for me to read but I know what you mean. Dark themes are hard! I'm just so happy you like my attempt!

Love from Scotland, all!

So Beautiful

Kurt wasn't sure when he actually woke up. It had seemed his eyes had always been open, staring out of the window at the rising sun as he lay on his side, and it was simply his consciousness which slowly came to. Whatever the time, he could tell it must have been mid-morning. The birds had been singing for quite a few hours now but the grounds and halls were too quiet for it to be after ten. What day was it anyway? Saturday. It has to be Saturday, because yesterday was Friday. Although it wouldn't be the first time I was wrong about something, or someone, I believed I understood… Kurt squeezed his eyes shut, finding they stung badly from either the excessive staring or the fact his eyes had shed so many tears in just one night. Other than that, he didn't move. Behind him, he could feel Blaine's warm body pressed up against his. A hand was resting on his hip, the fingers curling into his skin gently. Kurt guessed he was still asleep and did not want to change that. Blaine wasn't a light sleeper but it would be a risk to even try moving an inch. Kurt swallowed heavily, wishing he could just curl up into a ball. His whole body felt cold and damp despite the warm gaze of the sun warming up his entire room. His blanket which normally gave comfort from it's cosy thickness just seemed heavy on his skinny frame and acted as a second reason he believed he couldn't move. He bit his bottom lip as he realised that even after….last night, this was the most he ever felt trapped in his own room. Last night. No, don't think about that. Last night when Blaine did that to him. Stop it! Just stop, you'll just make things worse! But he found he couldn't even lie to himself. How could he make things worse now? The worst has already been done.

Kurt couldn't stop a shuddering breath from escaping him at that thought. His blood ran cold immediately after when the hand on his hip tightened it's hold on him and pulled so he was lying on his back.

'You're awake,' Blaine smiled down at him, his voice a little scratchy from sleep but still pleased and content. 'I've been watching you, thinking you were fast asleep.' He leaned down and kissed Kurt's forehead slowly. Kurt didn't move. He couldn't look him in the eye, so he just stared straight up at the ceiling. 'You're so beautiful when you sleep…' Kurt swallowed again, wondering why he didn't just leave when he had the chance. His own voice was gone, and Blaine's words just made him feel sick to his stomach. How could he say these things? How could he be beautiful? His body was riddled with utter shame and self-contempt. Where is the beauty in that? Kurt's stomach turned, and he moved himself around to face the window again. 'Kurt, baby, what's wrong?'

Kurt folded his hands between his pillow and his cheek as he tried to focus on a little robin perched on his windowsill. He realised than any sane person would be demanding-no, pleading-for an explanation for what he did. The way he defiled him. Yet Kurt knew from Blaine's last words that such a reaction would be fruitless. Blaine doesn't think he has done anything wrong… A gentle finger caressed his cheek, followed by a kiss just under his ear. Blaine's lips hovered just there as he took in the morning scent of his boyfriend.

'Last night…' Kurt's voice broke through the silence so unexpectedly he even caught himself off guard. His voice was weak and feeble, like someone who was on the verge of tears despite the fact he had no more to cry. Blaine didn't say anything so he continued. 'Last night-why did you…Blaine, th-that was r-….' He tried hard to finish that sentence, but he found he couldn't and instead pulled his blanket up to his mouth after letting out a choked sound. It was obvious what that last word was.

Blaine still didn't say a word. His face still rested on Kurt's, and his breathing was calm and steady. He was thinking about Kurt's question, or his answer. Kurt began to wonder if he had even heard him. Then, Blaine's light and soothing response came. 'Baby, it wasn't.' He gave him a patronising smile which Kurt had only ever seen on the faces of parents when their child was upset about something silly. 'Don't you remember? You wanted it.' His arms gently pulled him closer, something which used to give Kurt unbelievable comfort. 'You were so beautiful, so sexy. Kurt, you're mine and I'm yours. That is what lovers do.'

Kurt tried to pull away from him, but the arms didn't let up so all he accomplished was an unceremonious turn after which he was face to face with the dark haired beauty. 'I didn't want it-!'

'You did, Kurt,' Blaine interrupted firmly but his tone was still caring. 'Your body wanted it but you struggled with the intensity of it all.' His fingers softly curved around his cheekbones. 'Baby, baby, that happens. The best thing to do is to just push through it, like we did. Don't you remember how amazing it was? You screamed my name and we came together. Then you fell asleep in my arms.' Blaine's eyes glazed over and his smile grew, as if he was thinking of the memory and basking in it's apparent glory. Kurt, however, did not have such a memory. All he could recall was the pain, the humiliation and the overwhelming sense of betrayal and self-disgust. That and…that moment of pleasure before he figured he passed out. Suddenly nauseous, Kurt closed his eyes and lowered his face between them. He had felt it. It had began to feel so good and had managed to overshadow the hurt.

Blaine looked at him carefully, sensing Kurt's mental weakness. 'Baby…' He whispered in his ear. 'I'm sorry you got scared. I'm sorry if I read you wrong. I thought you were just playing, I didn't know because you sounded like you were liking it.' Kurt shook his head slowly but heavily. He was beginning to get a headache trying to remember the night before since most of the morning he had been trying to scrape it from his memories. Every time he stumbled upon a recollection, his head pounded hard as if punishing him. Eventually he just stopped trying. It was too painful now. He knew the truth, and he knew what the truth told him about himself and Blaine. Deep down, he knew. But admitting it to himself was too painful. If only what Blaine said was true…

'I didn't…'

'Kurt, baby, you did.'

'I…did…'

'That's right, shh…c'mere,'

Blaine's strong arms wrapped around Kurt. They both knew it was all pretence but it made them feel better.

Kurt let himself be pulled in.

An hour later, Kurt found himself staring once again. This time his eyes were gazing, unfocused, on the steamed up glass door of his shower. He had been in there for about ten minutes just standing doing nothing. Part of him had forgotten why he was there in the first place. His eyes slowly fell to the soap in his hand and he gradually began washing his now thoroughly wet body. His skin felt different, more…numb than usual and he vaguely wondered if he was coming down with something. I should be so luck-ow! He gasped in pain as his shoulder began to throb where his hand had been rubbing. Kurt looked around to see if there was any visible signs of injury and was met with bruises running up his arm. He glanced to his other arm and it was like a mirrored image. How-?

Knock-knock 'Kurt, are you alright? Will you be much longer?'

Kurt's eyes flew to the closed door. Of course. Blaine. For the first time that morning, Kurt actually looked at himself. Dark marks of various colours littered his skin and stood out like shiny black stones in a patch of pure white snow - all left over from last night. Kurt swallowed hard at the hazy recollections of Blaine's vice-like hands gripping and pulling him. No wonder he was in this state. He didn't want to think about this. He especially didn't want to think about Blaine forcing himself inside him or the fact Kurt that he was rapidly becoming aware of the tearing pain which was making him lean heavily on the shower walls.

'Y-yeah, fine. I'll be out in a minute.' He called back. He tried to keep his voice as steady as he could and he could make out the sound of Blaine walking away from the door. Without putting much thought into his actions, Kurt tried to clean himself off as quickly as possible. The sooner he covered himself up, the better. Stepping out the shower Kurt caught sight of himself in the semi-steamed up mirror and immediately felt like throwing up and crying at the same time. He knew he'd been losing weight, and he had discovered his 'roughing up' marks only minutes before but yet coming face to face, so to speak, with both factors at once…

His hand reached out and nervously touched the glass. His skin was colourless despite having just come out of a hot shower. I look like death…

'You look beautiful.'

Kurt almost slipped as he jumped in fearful surprise at the voice. Blaine caught his elbow and upper arm and steadied him on the damp tiled floor.

'Wh-what?' Kurt found himself asking, deciding there was no point in wondering how Blaine could just enter locked rooms without a sound.

Blaine looked him in the eye. 'You don't look like death, baby. You look beautiful. Like a doll.' He smiled and took a step forward to hug his wet frame from behind. 'My little porcelain doll that only I can touch.'

Kurt hadn't realised he had spoken his thoughts aloud. Together with Blaine, he stared at his reflection in the mirror. Blaine looked blissful, as if what he said was true. If Kurt had believed he was telling the truth, he would have been even more scared. But all Kurt saw was a shadow of his past self. A mutilated form of the person he used to be. And the sight killed him. 'I've got so many…P-people are going to see-'

'Just wear long sleeved shirts.' Blaine smiled and kissed his bare neck. 'Don't worry, baby, you hardly notice it under the uniform. Only I'll see. I promise.'