Chapter 10
A/N: Thanks for everyone who reviewed. They really make my day. I really appreciate every word and commentary you're able to offer. I'm sorry for the typos. I wanted to get this up. Hopefully the next update will be Monday or Tuesday.
This Range Rover was more cramped than ever. Quinn was sure of it. She was squished into the window. She sighed. Maybe, she wouldn't be as squished if she hadn't scooted as far as she could from Rachel in the middle seat. She didn't want to be here. She didn't want to go to the hospital. God, she didn't want to do any of it.
"Are you alright?" Rachel asked quietly.
Quinn looked up and realized that the car had stopped and no one was left in the car besides Rachel and herself.
"I'm fine," she said with a weak smile.
Quinn folded her arms across her chest and tried her best to maintain her composure as she made her way into the hospital. She was shutting everyone out and most importantly their looks. She didn't need their sympathy.
They walked through the automatic doors. She followed aimlessly through passage ways. Shelby was asking directions. She suddenly felt a hand on her uniform. She glared next to her and saw that Rachel was clinging to the side of her skirt. Her face softened. Rachel was looked around with a frown. The blonde guessed that the tiny brunette didn't even notice that she reached out to cling because she was too busy scanning the hallway and its inhabitants in front of her. Quinn opened her mouth to say something, but Santana wrapped her arms around Rachel's shoulders and as she shot Quinn a look, she walked with Rachel a few steps in front of them. Quinn wasn't sure that the look meant.
Finally, they arrived.
"Quinn Fabray is here to check-in," Shelby said to the nurse at the counter.
"Absolutely. Please fill out this paper work."
Quinn looked around. She didn't want to be here and she didn't want anyone to be here because of her. She sounded like a broken record.
"Quinn." She looked up at her name being called. She deflated. This couldn't be happening. "Hey Quinnie," Dr. Pierce smiled. "Your doctor told me you were coming in. We'll get you out of here in no time."
The young blonde looked over her shoulder to make sure that the other three were out of earshot. They were all sitting quietly in the waiting area. She didn't seem to notice their anxiety ridden faces.
"You know?" she asked with a tired whimper.
He gave a small nod. "I do, pumpkin. You know your father and I didn't get a long very well." His voice surprisingly wasn't coated in sympathy but instead was subtle with understanding.
Quinn shook her head with a tearful nod. She looked down at her feet. "But he liked you. Always did."
"He liked what I did, Quinn, not who I am," Dr. Pierce said with a smile. "And who I am is the best surgeon here. So let's do this."
"It's really not necessary, Dr. Pierce," Quinn tried again. "I would prefer just to sleep."
"Sleep isn't going to make this go away," Shelby said gently.
"Let's get you admitted," Dr. Pierce said.
Shelby turned to Santana and Puck. "Stay here, alright?" She pointed down the hallway. "I'll be right back."
Rachel stood up and went to her mother. "Can I come?"
Shelby poked Rachel on the nose. "No, bug, stay here please. Keep Sanny, company. You know how much she hates hospitals." She saw a look of muted panic settle on her face. She leaned down and kissed her daughter on her forehead. "You're alright."
Shelby walked the silent blonde down the hallway. She watched with a worried frown as the soft eyes of the girl began to become more weary.
Quinn looked at the gown folded on the bed. She couldn't do this. She wasn't going to.
"Quinn," Dr. Pierce said. "We need to take a look at what this looks like and what I have to do." He saw Quinn's look of hesitation. "I promise you I will look at it and see if you really do need surgery." He sighed. "Listen, I know that things have really sucked lately. Actually, I don't know. I can only imagine. But you trust me, right Quinn? I wouldn't steer you wrong."
Quinn bit her lip and gave a nod. Dr. Pierce cast one more glance at Shelby and he lifted Quinn's top. He frowned slightly as he examined the girl's back. He looked over silently at Shelby and nodded.
…..
Santana watched with her arms folded and her legs crossed as she stared down the hallway. She wondered how long she was going to be here. She kept having to remind her frown to return to her face each time curiosity about Quinn's situation surfaced in her mind. She was supposed to not stand her. However, she was starting to forget about why that was.
"I'm hungry," Rachel said quietly. "Do you have any money?"
Santana looked at her. She shook her head with a smile. "I doubt that anything in the vending machines are vegan."
"Candy is," Rachel said with a smile.
"Rachel," Santana said rolling her eyes.
"Do you have any money?" Rachel asked again.
"No, but you know what?" She stood up. "I'll go ask."
Santana walked carefully down the hallway to where she saw her mother and Quinn disappear down. She saw a handful of doors. She wasn't sure which door Quinn and her mother were behind until she heard Quinn's voice.
"I'm not doing this!" She heard the blond scream.
She jumped at a crash inside the room.
A nurse walked out of the room leaving the room slightly ajar. Santana looked carefully through the crack. Quinn was sitting with her back facing the door. Her Cheerios Uniform top was pulled up. Another nurse and Shelby were trying to calm her. Shelby was stroking her hair and trying to calm her. Santana spotted the tray that Quinn had knocked over on the floor.
"Sweetheart, we just have to take your vitals," the nurse said gently.
"I'm not doing this!" Quinn yelled. "Please. Please," she whispered. Santana could hear the tears in her voice. She was looking at Shelby. "I'll be good I swear. Just let me go please. Please let me go home." She didn't need to imagine the pleading in Quinn's tearful eyes. She could hear it.
It was at that moment that Santana noticed through the open door that she saw Quinn's back because her top was still pulled up. Santana froze as her breath caught in her throat.
….
The ambulance doors flew open and brought in a great light. Even from where she was lying on the gurney on her stomach, she knew that there was a change. She wasn't in the dimly lit cabin of the ambulance. She wasn't moaning in pain with every bump in the road. She had been so grateful to get out of that house and that room, but she hadn't seen if they got to Rachel. Being out of the ambulance was one more step closer to finding her.
She breathed shallowly into the mask that the EMT was holding for her. Doctors and nurses bustled around her. She couldn't concentrate on anything. She couldn't remember how long she had gotten the belt. She barely remembered when her arm felt like it was being cracked in two. All she wanted was to make sure they got her sister. Where was she? She couldn't hear her. Why couldn't she hear her?
"What do we have here?" she heard a doctor ask over her.
"Eight year old female. Brutal beating with what looks like a belt and her arm is broken in at least two places….." Their voices faded into the background.
She blinked through her body's pain. Santana, get up, she told herself. She pushed herself up on the table with her one strong arm.
"Whoa, there," she heard a doctor say. She saw a young female doctor sit next to her where she could see her. "What's your name?" the doctor asked.
Santana frowned. "Where's my—Where's my sister?" she rasped as she pushed breathing mask aside.
"She's coming in behind you," the doctor said looking up to the other attendings who were examining Santana's wounds.
The girl winced at the contact to her back. "I need," she swallowed back some tears. "I need to see… I need to see her. She wasn't awake when I …. When I saw her." Santana felt her body start to heave as the memories flashed back to her from just hours before. "I need to make sure she's okay. P-p-please."
"You need to be okay," the young doctor said. "You can't help her unless you're okay."
"I don't care," Santana said icily. "She's …. " she winced in pain again. "She's not even three years old yet. She's going to be in a few weeks." Santana wiped her tears. "I need to see her."
The doors of the ER flew open and a group of doctors huddled around another gurney rushed pasted them.
"Two year old female. Unconscious at the scene. Extensive damage…. It's bad," the EMT informed.
"We can see that," a doctor said in frustration as they ran past Santana's gurney. "Someone get me a damn trauma kit!"
A doctor moved away from the new gurney thereby opening up a view shot of the child on the stretcher. Santana lifted her head to look. The tiny body was lying on her back. She could barely see her bruised, tear stained face. However, the tiny limp hand that lay next to the unmoving body was still gripping the beaded bracelet that Santana had given her. She knew immediately who it was. "Rachel," she whispered.
"You need to lay down, sweetheart," the young doctor said. "What's her name?" she asked frantically. "Do we have any information?"
"These are two of the missing Corcoran kids." An older doctor approached Santana blocking her view of Rachel. "Santana? You're all right. We're going to take good care of you."
She couldn't see Rachel anymore. "Fuck off!" Santana barked. She didn't really understand the weight of her insult but she knew Hiram would yell it to them all the time. She pushed herself up. She needed to get to Rachel.
"What is she doing?" an attending asked. "Get her back on the gurney!"
Santana pushed the others off her and walked with a slight limp as fast as she could toward Rachel. Suddenly, there was someone else in her way.
"Come here, kiddo," a male nurse said trying to pick the eight-year-old girl up.
"Don't touch me!" she screamed kicking him in the kneecaps. She felt another arm around her and she began to thrash and scream despite the pain that jolted through her body. "She needs me! Let me go!" She was screaming so much she didn't even feel the needle go into her arm and then blackness took over.
Santana returned to the present with jolt. There were at least six lash marks on her back. Santana was all too familiar with those. She noticed that one was clearly infected. Probably the reason why they were here. The blonde was thrashing about. She was not the head bitch that people knew. For the first time, Santana allowed herself to see the scared little girl, the scared little girl that Santana still felt like she was at times.
"Let me go!" Quinn screamed. "I want to go home."
The blonde tried to stand up. "I can't do this. Let me go!"
"Quinn, you need to be prepped for surgery," Shelby tried. "Please listen to me."
The woman cupped the girl's face. "This isn't an option, sweetheart. You're hurt and sick and we need to fix this. I get that you're scared but I will be here every step of the way."
Quinn paused for a moment locking her tear-rimmed eyes with Shelby. No, no, she told herself. She wasn't going to allow herself to need this. She pushed her away.
"Please let me leave," she said. "I'm not getting undressed! I'm not doing this! Just let me go!"
Quinn started to shove one of the nurses off her. Shelby went to intercept, but something, or someone stopped her. Someone beat her to it.
Santana wasn't sure what took over but something did. She walked into the room with giant strides and not hearing her mother's calls. She put her hand on Quinn's. The blonde stopped struggling more in surprise than in shock. Santana leaned close to Quinn's face.
"You need to calm down," Santana whispered in a tone that almost sounded gentle. "Listen, I get it. You don't want anyone's help but we both know you feel like shit so just let them help you. If you don't, they'll sedate you and take away that one ounce of control you have left. You have to calm down."
"Santana," Shelby's voice finally broke through Santana's barriers.
Quinn gave a weak nod as she identified something different in Santana's eyes, something familiar. She reprocessed her words. Realization hit her like a train. Santana had done this before.
"I want all of you to leave while I change," Quinn said as she looked at the women in the room.
Shelby nodded and she and Santana started to leave behind he nurses.
"Except Santana," Quinn said.
Santana looked at Quinn for a moment. She wasn't sure what she was getting herself into. Shelby looked between the two girls.
"We'll be outside. Quinn you have ten minutes," Shelby said.
The door clicked closed and Quinn stood up from the examining table. Santana took a step forward to help her.
"I'm fine," she said quickly. "I don't need your help."
"Then why did you want me to stay?" Santana fired back.
There was a moment of silence. Quinn started unfolding the gown.
"Turn around, sicko," she hissed.
Santana did. She wasn't sure what was happening. She stared desperately at the doorknob wanting to open it and not be in here. It was too much.
"If you tell anyone about this, I'll kill you," Quinn said with familiar venom, but was unusually weak.
Santana shook her head. "I don't really want to advertise that you're my newest extra curricular, thank you very much."
Another silence blanketed them.
"When did they sedate you?" Quinn asked as she tied the back of her gown with a wince. "You can turn around now."
Santana turned around but didn't look at the girl. Quinn waited for her to answer her question. She was watched the brunette with new eyes. The familiarity was getting to be too much but her curiosity was almost too much.
A knock interrupted her thoughts.
"All set?" she heard Shelby ask from the other side.
"Yeah," Santana said looking up to meet Quinn's eyes. "She's all done."
She turned away and started for the door. Quinn gave up hope for an answer. She looked at her hands. Maybe she didn't see what she thought she saw in Santana's eyes.
"When Rachel and I were brought in." Santana's voice cut through the silence and brought the room to another still.
Quinn watched the girl look over her shoulder. She didn't meet her eyes but she looked in her general direction. "I was eight," Santana said quietly. "I just wanted…. I was trying to get to her…..And I kicked a male nurse in the kneecaps."
Quinn smirked and Santana met her eyes.
"I was a hazard to the staff," she said with a staff. She sighed. "Listen, I know you don't want to do this, but you have to get well or else it'll just get worse." She gave her a small grin. "So stop being stupid."
She turned and opened the door. Santana briefly met her mother's eyes.
"Santana?" Quinn called back from the bed. She turned. "This doesn't mean we're friends."
Santana scoffed. "You would have to pay me more money in the world to be your friend."
Quinn shook her head and watched as the brunette left the room and for a brief moment she didn't feel as alone. However, a nurse walked back in with an IV kit and she was back to being angry.
…..
Rachel watched as Santana disappear down the hallway. She felt an anxiety build in her chest.
"Where is she going?" she asked still watching the hallway.
"She just told you, Rach," Puck said not looking up from the magazine.
Rachel didn't respond. There was something about all hospitals that was the same. A gurney with people dressed in scrubs went rushing past her.
"Move! We need to get up to the ER," the doctor shouted.
She stepped out of the way and watched after them as the gurney disappeared. She felt a familiar burning in her chest. Was Quinn going to die? Where was Santana?
"Rach," he said from behind her.
She watched another team of doctors sprint past her.
"Rachel," Puck whispered in her ear. She turned and his six-foot frame was kneeling behind her. She looked at him with soft and young eyes. She was getting upset. This was too much for her. "Will you come and sit with me, bug? This place is whiggin' me out."
She bit her lip and nodded and followed him back to the chairs. She sat as close as she could to him. She rested her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beating as fast as hers. The smells of the hospitals were the same. The sounds were the same and they looked the same. She felt his arm that was wrapped around her back pull her into his lap.
"Noah," she began. She didn't want to be a baby.
"Please?" he whispered into her ear.
She gave a nod. She knew her tough brother would never admit it but he needed her just as much as she needed him. She rested the back of her head against his chest. She was still gazing down the hallway waiting for Santana.
"Is she with Quinn?" Rachel asked.
"Probably. Mom, too," Noah said as he rested his cheek against the side of her head.
"She can't be alone," she whispered looking down.
Puck felt an ache in his chest and he wrapped his arms around Rachel a little more tightly. He knew she wasn't talking about Santana anymore. "She won't, bug. I'll make sure she won't."
Another gurney ran by. Puck felt Rachel tense in his arms. He hissed the side of her head gently. He could feel her breath hitching in her chest. He needed to get her out of here. It was too much.
He walked next to Natalie into the elevator. He heart was beating so fast in his chest that he thought it would fall out.
"So do you want to tell me what Santana did?" Natalie asked casually as she pressed the elevator button.
He looked up at the tall woman. He may be nine, actually almost ten. He wasn't going to rat out his sister even if it was her own fault that she was grounded from seeing Rachel. Noah shook his head. She shouldn't have thrown that chair. They both agreed that they hated the rules at the group home. However, Santana seemed to not care about them as well as hate them. She was breaking them left and right. And this visit, this was the only thing, besides time with Noah that they could take away from her so that she saw that the rules weren't just there for fun.
"Noah?" she asked seeing that the boy had become quiet.
"Will I be able to hold her?" Puck asked quietly as the elevator dinged.
"I think so, but you'll have to be very gentle," Natalie said.
He looked up at her with indignant eyes. How could she think that he wouldn't?
"I've never been anything but gentle with her," he said with a frown. "She's my baby sister."
"I know, buddy," she said. "Your mom told me that, you know? I guess I just needed to hear it from you."
He nodded, satisfied. He had made sure to be on his best behavior. Even when Luke O'Neal tried to push him at breakfast he didn't throw his cereal in his face. He was sneaky and spit in it instead. Either way, he made sure not to get caught. He needed to see Rachel.
The hallway had animals everywhere. Noah scowled. He knew that this was the baby wing but why did everyone assume babies loved animals. They paused outside of a door. He glanced up at Natalie realizing something for the first time.
"Has she been alone this whole time?" he asked looking the woman in the eye.
She didn't respond right away. She was looking at him the same way that all of the other adults had been looking at him: Like they couldn't tell him the truth.
He didn't wait for his answer. "You should have got me here sooner."
He didn't wait for her. He opened the door in front of him. Rachel was laying in a large crib like hospital bed, except it had sides that weren't wooden like she had when she was little, they were metal. He reconsidered maybe they were a hard plastic. Her face was bruised. She had a black eye. She was wearing an ugly hospital gown that looked too big for her. She had a yellow pacifier in her mouth and she was clenching a beaded bracelet in one hand and a stuffed bear in another.
There were so many machines hooked up to her. She had a weird thing on her finger. She had monitors beeping. There was an IV line. Noah hardened his face. She shouldn't be here.
"She hasn't talked to anyone since she's been here. We're all really worried about her," he heard Natalie say behind her. He turned and looked at her. She was kneeling behind him.
"She'll talk to me," he said.
He walked over to the bed quietly. Rachel opened her eyes with a jump. She instinctively recoiled.
"Bug, it's me," he whispered.
She let go of her bear and looked up at him. Her eyes grew wide. With her free and bruised are she tried to sit up.
"No, sweetie, you need to stay laying down," a nurse said.
Noah put up his hand. "I got it." Without another word he climbed into the bed with her. He was a little taller and stockier than everyone in his class, but he would do anything for her and he knew that she needed him. He lay down next to her and let her crawl into his arms.
"Her heart rate is going down. She's calming," a nurse said looking at the heart monitor. "She's been so on edge since she was brought in, but considering the circumstances…."
The nurse trailed off when the boy glared at him. The boy returned his attention back to Rachel. She reached out and took his hand.
"Do you wanna take your binkie out and talk to me, bug?" Noah asked gently. Rachel looked at Natalie and the nurse. "Don't worry about them. It's just me and you."
Rachel took out the pacifier and moved close to her big brother.
"Sanny?" she asked quietly. Her voice was rough from lack of use.
"She's okay," he said with a smile. "She wanted to come today but she couldn't."
Her tired eyes searched his. "She's okay," he said again.
"Sing the song?" she whispered into his ear.
He hesitated. It hurt so much to sing that song now that his dad was gone. However, her big brown eyes made him reconsider. He pulled her gently into his arms and hummed softly in her ear. After a couple beats, he finally began singing.
"Close your eyes and I'll miss you…." he whispered as sang the song softly in her ear.
A silence fell over them. Rachel put her pacifier in and leaned back against him. She was trembling slightly but she felt safer and so did he. Natalie approached the bed and suggested that they watch a movie. She whispered into Noah's ear and told her that Rachel hadn't been eating. Two hours later, a movie had finished and he had convinced Rachel to eat half of the meal that they brought her. He had only growled lowly at a male nurse that had tried to take Rachel's vitals. Natalie looked at the boy immediately and shook her head with disapproval. Other than that things felt almost normal, besides the fact that they were in hospital and she was hurt.
She finally fell asleep gripping onto Noah.
"Noah, it's time to head back," Natalie said.
He sat up quietly and he was careful not to wake her. With ease and gentleness, he climbed out of the bed. He started to walk away quietly but he stopped at the door. He turned back and looked at her. She looked so tiny and alone in that bed. He couldn't leave her like that.
"I can't leave her. She'll wake up alone," he said. "I have to wake her up. I have to tell her."
"Noah, I don't think—"
He leaned close to her ear. "Bug, bug," he whispered. She stirred and with a jump, she opened her eyes. He brushed her hair away gently. "I have to leave." Tears began to pool in Rachel's eyes.
"No," she cried around her pacifier. "No." She began to sob.
"I'm so sorry, sweetie, but he has to go," Natalie said gently. "I'll try to bring him back tomorrow."
"Can't I stay?" Noah asked holding onto the bars. She watched Rachel begin to hyperventilate.
A nurse came in. She removed her pacifier and put a breathing mask over her mouth.
"I'm sorry, Noah," Natalie said. "Let's focus on her."
He looked back at her tiny body. He didn't want to leave her. He couldn't, but he had to.
"I'm here with you this whole time, bug. Deep breaths. I'm here " he whispered. "Be brave." He reached up and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you big."
Rachel continued to cry as a nurse tried to calm her and Noah was led away. He wanted to struggle. He wanted to kick. He knew that would be what Santana would do, but he couldn't do that in front of Rachel. Instead he had to do the hurtful thing, he had to walk away from her. Natalie stopped at the elevators and they waited silently. The boy was staring at his feet. The elevator doors opened.
"I should have gotten help sooner," he said as the elevator door closed.
He didn't see Natalie looking down at him. "If I had she wouldn't be alone."
…..
Puck was pulled out of his memory as Rachel's breaths hitched more in her chest. She could feel it in her back as it pressed against his own chest. While her tiny seventy pound frame barely cause him any disturbance, her heaving was becoming too stressed.
"Rach?" he muttered trying to get her attention. Rachel turned and leaned her side against him. She couldn't be here. She was starting to freak out, because she was starting to remember.
He gave a small sigh of relief when he spotted Santana and Shelby walking toward them.
…..
"What happened in there?" Shelby asked as she and Santana started back toward the waiting room.
"Nothing," Santana shrugged as she purposefully quickened her pace back to her brother and sister.
She was worried about her daughter. She was worried about Quinn. She was hoping they would get back to the waiting room before Rachel saw a gurney of some guy heading to surgery or she heard a heart monitor. She needed to feed three children and put them to bed, but she also need to put another child on a gurney for surgery. She took a deep breath as she coaxed herself. She needed pull it together and most importantly she needed a plan.
Shelby saw her youngest huddled into her eldest and she knew that they needed to get out of the hospital. It had been so long since everything had happened, but any hospital brought it all back. It always did. She spotted her daughter's chest beginning to heave.
"This looks like it's going to be awhile," Shelby said gently as Rachel stood from Puck's lap and leaned into Santana's side. Santana instinctively started stroked Rachel's long dark hair. "Go out and get some dinner. I'll text you." She looked down at Rachel. "Do you still have your inhaler in your backpack?"
Rachel nodded as she looked around Shelby down they hallway that they came.
"You should go back to Quinn," Rachel said quietly.
"We'll see ya, Mom," Santana said quietly taking Rachel's hand. She gave her mother a soft look. "Let's go, bug. If you're lucky I'll you pick the restaurant."
Santana started down the hallway with Rachel. Puck kissed his mother gently on the cheek and followed after them.
Shelby watched them until they disappeared on the elevator. She needed them just as much as they needed her. She started back down the hallway back to Quinn, hoping she could convince the girl to go into the surgery.
"Shelby," she heard her name behind her.
She turned and gave a smile. "Valerie," Shelby said with a smile. She reached her hand out to her daughter's best friend's mother. "What brings you here?"
"Just stopping by to give Tom his dinner," she said. She gave a small sigh. "I heard that Quinn is living with you now."
Shelby nodded. She wasn't sure that extent of the situation that her friend knew. She chose to honor Quinn's privacy.
"She and Brittany have been friends forever. Once the girls started high school she came over less frequently." Valerie Pierce shook her head. "I should have seen the signs…I should have…."
Shelby took her friend's hand. "We can bury ourselves in what we should have done. God, don't I know, but it doesn't help anyone."
"Is she in surgery?" asked the blonde haired woman.
"Not yet," Shelby said with a sigh. "She's putting up a fight. She's scared. And I don't blame her."
"You're doing a good thing, Shelby," Valerie said with a soft smile that told Shelby that as incredible as the woman was she was relieved that Shelby had taken in the girl. It relieved her of that burden. However, Shelby saw it different than Valerie. She was used to fighting for her children. To most people it seemed like heartache, and in a way it was, to Shelby it was a necessity. It didn't make Valerie a bad person. It was better in a way because in her line of work, Shelby saw people take kids on out of pity and their own need. It failed more often times than not.
"Thank you," she nodded. "She was over your house a lot growing up. What were the things she enjoyed?"
Valerie thought. "She was such an easy child. She was quiet and obedient and polite. She spent a great deal of time with Brittany's grandmother before she passed. They had a very special connection. I remember telling a very intoxicated Judy that it didn't matter what she thought that Quinn was going to the funeral." She shook her head again. "There were so many signs. I just didn't know it was that bad." She met Shelby's eyes. "She's a tough cookie. She means a lot to us and I can see that she means a lot to you. If I know her like I think I do, she'll calm when she realized you sent the other kids away. Rachel is looking so grown up by the way."
Shelby gave a proud smile. "I know. It's hard to believe, but she's still my little girl."
"She always will be," Valerie said with a grin. "I'll let you get back to Quinn. Send her my love."
Shelby nodded and started down the hallway. She opened Quinn's door. A nurse was at her side trying to find a vein to put her IV in and was clearly struggling.
"Ouch! Are you really looking for a vein or are you digging for clams?" Quinn barked.
"Quinn," Shelby scolded.
She saw the girl recoil. "I told you I don't want to be here," she said. "I bet Rachel wants to go home. Can't we leave?"
"I just sent the kids away for a bit," Shelby said.
"Why?" she asked as her face fell slightly.
"Because we'll be here for awhile," she responded quietly. "The longer you struggle the longer we'll be here." She caught Quinn's eye. "And I don't mind."
Quinn frowned. "Well, I do." she looked at the nurse. "Did you find it yet?"
She didn't want everyone to be waiting because she was being stupid. She started rethinking Rachel's clinging to her earlier. She hated hospitals just as much as Quinn, she inferred. She frowned. Santana had said she was eight years old when she and Rachel came in. That would make Rachel three right? Quinn bit her lip. She was scared in the hospital now. She couldn't imagine being three in the hospital.
"I don't want to do this," Quinn said looking Shelby in the eye.
"Quinn—"
"But I want to get out of here," she finished. "And I have a feeling that getting through this crap is the only way I can."
Shelby sighed and gave her a smile. "Thank you."
"I'm not doing it for you," she said glaring at the nurse again as she continued to dig around for a vein. "I'm not even doing It for myself. I ….." She looked away for a moment. "I'm doing it because Puck and Santana know nothing about vegan food. I mean who does? And …. You're her mom and I'm taking your time."
Shelby leaned down and kissed Quinn on the forehead making her jump in surprise.
"Thank you," she whispered. "You're not taking my time. I want to be here with you. The kids understand that."
"Doubt it," Quinn muttered.
"I guarantee it," she said.
It took about twenty more minutes but she finally was ready for surgery. Dr. Pierce came into the room.
"Alright, Quinn," he said gently. "We're going to take you in now. Soon you'll be back at Shelby's relaxing."
"It's not really relaxing," Quinn mumbled.
She looked anxiously around the room.
"I'll be here when you wake up, Quinn," Shelby said kissing her on the forehead again.
Quinn flinched away. She wasn't going to get close to this woman. She wasn't her mother. She rethought, not that her mother was ever a comforting type.
"We'll take care of her," Dr. Pierce told Shelby.
She watched as Quinn's gurney disappeared down the hallway and felt a familiar pang.
…..
She stared aimlessly out the window of the waiting room.
"She's going to be fine, Shelby," Natalie assured.
"You don't know that," Shelby said not looking up from the window. She shook her head trying her best to hold in her angry tears. "What that bastard did to her, to them….. You know it'll leave its mark. I'll spend the rest of my life wondering what their lives would have been like if I hadn't left them."
"Shelby, you thought they were safe with your husband. You couldn't have predicted that this would happen," she assured.
"I should have," Shelby muttered. "Seeing San and Noah today broke my heart. She's so angry with me. She has every right to be. I saw the guilt in Noah's eyes. How do I fix this?"
"You take it one step at time with patience and grace," Natalie said softly.
Shelby shook her head. She needed to focus on the moment. "What surgery is Rachel having?"
"It's to repair some of the damage," Natalie informed. "They're taking little steps at a time."
Shelby sighed. "I just want to hold her. That's all I want."
"Corcoran?"
She turned toward the doctor. "I'm Shelby, the mother."
The doctor smiled kindly. "She flew it like a champ. It looks like she'll only need one more surgery next week and then she can leave the hospital." The doctor exchanged looks with Natalie. He was careful not to say home. The case was too complicated to be that easy to go home.
"Can we see her?" Shelby asked. "Can I hold her?"
The doctor nodded and led them down the hallway. The animal wall paper felt like it was taunting her.
"We put her in a special adult bed in case you want to lay with her," he informed as he opened the door.
Her tiny baby girl was laying quietly on the gurney. Shelby walked over to her and stroked her hair gently.
"Hi my baby bug," Shelby choked back tears. "I'm here. Mommy's right here."
She gripped the small hand in hers. She tried her best to ignore the tubes and the monitors. She saw the bruising on her face and it brought such fury to her heart. The tiny body stirred and jumped as she felt someone's hands on her.
"Shhhh," Shelby whispered. "It's just Mommy. I'm right here, sweetheart."
Rachel's bruised eyes opened. She looked at Shelby in shock and awe.
"Mumma?" she whispered.
Shelby gave a sob. "Yeah, baby, I'm right here."
She rested her hand on Rachel's cheek and leaned her forehead close to hers and gave her a trembling kiss. Rachel reached up her hand and put her hand on her mother's cheek.
"No cry, Mommy," Rachel whispered. She was so unphased by the IV on her hand. "You came. I knew it."
Shelby let out another sob. "I'm so sorry, Rach." Rachel's eyes were getting heavy again. "Can I snuggle with you? Can Mommy get her snuggles?"
Rachel nodded. Natalie shook her head. She may have been two and she may have been through trauma beyond any explanation, but there in her mother's arms, she was home.
….
"Shelby," Dr. Pierce called. She looked up and wiped away a tear at the memory.
"Is she alright?" she asked as she stood up.
Dr. Pierce smiled. "She did great."
Please review everyone. I know I sound like a broken record but this chapter was supposed to span longer. I hope you all enjoyed it. And don't worry, you'll learn more about Quinn next chapter.
Please Please Please review. I work today and it'll get me through my day.