Natasha glared at him in disbelief. She couldn't believe that this was the route he was taking right now.
Before she knew it, she was screaming at him, "I cannot BELIEVE you are bringing that up! Wow! Ok. Ya got me. I had sex with someone ONE YEAR after I watched the man I love die. I thought you were DEAD Loki…for an entire year before I tried to find comfort in someone else's arms and it didn't work!"
She should have left it alone…she should have stopped right there, but his selfishness and callousness had driven her to the brink. Natasha was going to hit him where it hurt.
"You know what? I'm GLAD I fucked him! I needed to know that someone could still give a damn after you blatantly showed me that I wasn't worth living for! I was on my knees, hours after losing your child…begging you to stay with me and you LEFT! I'm not enough for you! You don't give a shit about me! Even right now. You don't care what I went through! A weak ass apology is all I've gotten, but it has been ALL about you! Maybe I need to go BACK to Clint to find someone who'll actually give a damn about comforting me. You go ahead. Grovel. Ignore my feelings. I'm sure he'd ENJOY comforting me while you're so fucking busy feeling sorry for yourself!"
"Would you like to know how many women I took comfort in when I landed on your precious Midgard?" Loki rasped as he continued to stare into the glass. "Finally free after what seemed like an eternity of torture. Months and months of suffering when I already felt like nothing. A year of being beaten and scourged and whipped and anything else he could think of… all the while taunting me about all my worst fears. Would you like to know the number of the ladies I fucked? None." The young god turned toward her slowly, his dark green eyes glaring malevolently. "You think you're going to go back to him? You do and I swear by the All-Father that I'll kill him. He is never going to touch you again. Not once… not ever."
"You're complaining about my… what did you call it? My weak ass apology? Is that what you said?" He seethed as he moved towards her. "We really are a pair, aren't we? So selfish… both of us. I am sorry for the pain you went through but I didn't consciously leave you. I was crazed with grief… I had no idea what I was doing… I couldn't think… All these thoughts… none of them good. I hated myself… I still do."
Natasha glared up at him and pushed him in the chest, "Fine! That's an excuse for that, but what about now?! When will you comfort me?! Is it not enough that I love you?! It will never be enough! I opened up to you the way I never have before and you still turn your back on me in favor of your grief! You won't talk to me! You just run away! And don't go threatening Clint just cause you can't handle the fact that someone was there for me when you weren't."
"I'll do better than threaten him… I'l break his scrawny little neck," Loki bit off angrily as he grabbed her by her good arm and pulled her closer to him so that his face was only a hairsbreadth away from hers. "And don't you think I won't do it. You belong with me and only me. You're mine. You're all mine… every bit of you…. nobody but me." He crushed his mouth to hers heatedly as he wrapped his arms around her. "You're everything to me… you are the only real thing I have in my life, Natalia… the only thing I trust.. there's just you… I won't let you leave me."
Natasha gasped against his mouth and started to push him against the chest, but fell weak and boneless against his body. She dropped her towel as they fell up on the bed, feverishly kissing.
Loki trailed his hand along her side, down to her hip as his other hand rested against the nape of her neck pulling her closer to him as he devoured her lips greedily. "I love you… My Natalia… I need you so much."
"Prove it", she moaned huskily. "You talk a good game…show me how much you love me. You left me…" Natasha reached up and forcefully grabbed his hair, yanking his head back, "…you owe me…"
Suddenly, she shoved him from atop her, "I should punish you…I should make you beg for me. In fact, I shouldn't even let you have me…"
Natasha grabbed the towel and wrapped it back around her naked body before walking back to the bathroom and slamming the door behind her.
Loki sat there on the bed gaping at the bathroom door for a moment, his fingers rubbing lightly against his chest where she had shoved him. For only the barest of seconds before his bewilderment faded and his ire shot back up as he stormed across the room and grabbed the handle of the door. He turned it back and forth in his hand irritably as he realized that she had locked it.
With one forceful tug the young god pulled it off its hinges as he tossed into the middle of his chambers. "Prove it?" Loki snapped as he walked into the room. "You want me to prove that I love you? Is that what you said to me?"
Natasha didn't even flinch when he broke into the bathroom. She stood at the bathroom counter, cooly combing out her wet hair as she still held the towel around her naked frame.
"That's what I said…I didn't stutter."
"So tell me, little spider," Loki snipped as he moved to stand behind her at the bathroom counter, his dark green eyes staring at her reflection in the mirror as she continued to comb her hair. "What is it exactly that you want me to do to prove my love for you and then I'll let you know just what you need to do to prove your love for me."
"Oh…you want ME to prove my love to YOU? You mean doing something besides pining away for you for a year, faithfully wearing your clothes every night to bed, keeping a fucking shrine of your painting supplies, standing by your side after you got the craziest news of your life, oh…and JUMPING IN FRONT OF AN ARROW FOR YOU! Yes. Please tell me what ELSE I can do to prove my love to you. Should I just cut out my heart? Cause that's the only fucking thing I haven't done yet."
"Well, good for you… it only took my 'death' for you do it. I was gone and suddenly what it dawned on you. I think I love him." Loki replied sarcastically as he continued to stare ominously into her reflection. "And the Fates know that I did nothing at all to show you that I loved you long before your sudden awakening to this great love you have for me. I did everything for you even though you pushed me away at every turn. All I wanted in the world was to be with you… to make you happy… and you fought me every step of the way. And now you're going to stand here and act like I don't love you."
Natasha rolled her eyes, "I couldn't say it, but I ALWAYS loved you. If you didn't realize that, then your head is further up your ass than I thought!"
She let out a breath and a loud groan of annoyance, "Why don't you find somewhere else to sleep tonight?!"
"I don't think so, pet. This has been my chambers since I was five," Loki replied flippantly. "And you are not going anywhere either. I don't want to fight anymore. I'm tired of fighting." He moved his fingers along her wet curls. "Tell me what you need from me. You want me to comfort you. I was trying to a minute ago and that's obviously not what you wanted. So what do you want, darling?"
The tender caress did little to quell her anger.
"I want to know that you just won't leave me if things get too hard to deal with! I want to know that, before you decide to kill yourself, you remember me and how much that could affect me! I want you to realize that when you go off the deep end and run away because things are too difficult that I'm TRYING to be there for you. You keep running away and leaving me to pick up the pieces and that's not fair! I've put every fucking ounce of energy into comforting you and consoling you over the hell you lived through…EVERY DAY since I woke up with a arrow wound, it's been all about YOU. I'm just asking for you to stop fucking running away and be there for ME every once in a while, you selfish prick!"
Natasha angrily marched over to the wardrobe and dropped her towel before slipping on a night gown. She huffed angrily as she sat on the bed and scooted beneath the covers, "…and if you think we're having sex tonight, you're sorely mistaken!"
"Before I decide to kill myself? Do you even think before you speak?" Loki snipped as he followed her back into the room and watched her climb into his bed. "Were you thinking about me when you jumped from that building? Did you think about what would have happened to me when I lost you? You knew I wasn't in my right head…. you knew that gem was doing something to me. Oh but you didn't think of that did you. You weren't going to fight to get through to me… you just wanted to end it all and the hell with me. Is that how your mind worked? You selfish bitch. Or maybe you just weren't thinking at all. Maybe you were in too much pain to think properly. Maybe it had gotten so bad that you couldn't grasp anything else. I can't believe that you want to punish me for what happened on the BiFrost. I didn't leave you. I lost myself and after everything that you went through while I was gone. I would think that you of all people would understand that."
Natasha sat straight up in bed before angrily throwing the covers off and standing up to get directly in his face, "I'M the selfish bitch?! Fuck you, you self-centered, self-righteous asshole! I DID fight for you! I tried to get through to you! In fact, you'll remember that I wouldn't stop fighting for you and it was my mental break that caused you to finally snap out of it! I thought I had completely lost you all over again! And after watching you on that damn bridge, it was more than I could handle, so I cracked! Remember?! I wasn't right in the head either, Loki! I reverted to a state I used to go to when I was being beaten and raped in the Red Room. THANK YOU FOR THAT, BY THE WAY! That's where you made me go! I don't know shit about a magical gem or spells or enchantments! I'm a fucking human of earth! I didn't even know magic was real until I met you! How the hell am I supposed to know about a magical scepter?! Huh?! And I'm not punishing you for the BiFrost! I'm punishing you for the fact that you ran away today and I know you're going to keep running away until you grow a pair of balls and learn how to stick around when shit gets tough! I'm trying to be here for you, but you ran away again..I tried to convince you that no matter what, I'm right here, but that's not good enough! I'm done trying to convince you of anything! Believe what you want! I don't give a shit…"
She grabbed a robe and stomped to the door before opening it and slamming it behind her. Natasha was sure there was an empty bedroom somewhere in this damn palace.
"Where in the name of Hel do you think you're going," Loki seethed as he caught up to her and grabbed her by the arm. "You are unbelievable. So you want to punish me because I left this afternoon but its perfectly alright for you to walk off on me, is that it? You want me to stick around but you want to go. I LEFT you on the BiFrost but you just cracked on top of Stark Towers and it was all my fault anyway that it even happened. You don't see the double standard there? I asked you not five minutes ago to let me comfort you. And you're still so hell bent on punishing me… I don't ever remember saying you weren't there for me. In fact I thought I said that you were all I had and how much I need you and love you, little spider."
Natasha narrowed her eyes and snatched her arm out of his grasp, "We aren't doing each other any favors with this fight, Loki. We're just burying ourselves deeper and deeper under piles of bullshit and resentment. You retire to your corner, I'll retire to mine and we'll talk when we've got clearer heads in the morning."
"No… No I'm not retiring to any corner," Loki stated dejectedly. "I just told you how much I need you and you still want to go off and find your own room. I don't think it gets any clearer than that." The young god turned around and moved slowly back towards his chambers.
Natasha threw her head back, "Oh my god! Are you being this dramatic?! Couples sometimes need space when one or the other is getting on the others fucking don't have to act like I ended our fucking relationship because I need some time to cool off! Everything always has to be on YOUR terms!"
"Oh, that's right," Loki responded as he stopped in front of the door and turned back toward her slowly. "You need some space because you're angry with me because I needed some time to myself. And I'm the dramatic one. Have you looked in the mirror? We are one in the same. At least I can embrace it. I'm selfish, possessive and needy and I want things my way. And I need you with me. I don't know how many different ways I can say it. You make up your mind what you want, darling." He went inside and collapsed on the bed as he stared up into the ceiling and exhaled slowly.
Natasha stood out in the hall for several moments before she sighed and slowly moved toward the room. She quietly closed the door and walked over to the bed before removing her robe and climbing under the covers.
She curled up, resting her hands beneath the pillow as she lay on her side before whispering, "Night…"
"Can I hold you?" Loki inquired softly as his emerald eyes remained focused above him.
Natasha glanced over her shoulder at him before whispering, "Yes…"
Loki remained on top of the covers as he turned on his side and wrapped his arm around her waist. Enjoying the feel of her strawberry curls fluttering around his face. "Good night, little spider… thank you for staying with me."
Natasha let out a small sigh of contentment before closing her eyes and drifting to sleep. When she awoke the next morning, she was alone in bed. She quickly sat up, rubbing her eyes and running her fingers through her hair, "Loki?"