Same disclaimers: S&H don't belong to me and no profit is being made.

Warnings: deals with the aftermath of male rape so if the topic offends, please do not read.

Thanks again to Sparkle for her help in fixing up my silly mistakes.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and encouraged me via PM on this story. It is greatly appreciated.

Story is now complete, except for an epilogue which I have written from Hutch's POV. Starsky has a great deal of recovering to do and I haven't wanted to downplay that at all by having him all better now he's rescued. But I hope I have managed to set him on a road to recovery.

CHAPTER TEN

Huggy drove quickly to Hutch's place, glancing in the rear view window every now and again. Starsky was leaning on Hutch and Huggy couldn't be sure if he was conscious or not because he was so quiet and still. Hutch had his arm around his partner and was staring out the window. The only sign of emotion was the clenching and unclenching of his jaw. Hutch was pale and Huggy knew his pallor had as much to do with his anxiety over Starsky as it did his own injury. Starsky was conscious but still caught up in his nightmare world of pain and confusion. He felt unbalanced, frightened and ashamed but the solid figure of his partner gave him something he knew he could lean on. Part of him desperately wanted to hide but he was very aware that Hutch knew what had happened so there was no point in trying to pretend.

The drive was over quickly and Huggy pulled up in front of Hutch's apartment. Slowly, and with a great deal of difficulty, Hutch helped Starsky out of the car. Starsky needed the physical support because he appeared to still be dazed and unsteady on his feet. The ache deep inside his body had not lessened, and he was struggling to keep calm.

Starsky tried not to panic when he heard Hutch asking Huggy to find a doctor. The thought of being touched again was almost more than he could bear. But he made no comment or argument as they entered the safety of Hutch's home.

"I know you're not keen on a doctor, Starsk, but we need to make sure that you don't have any internal injuries." Hutch said gently.

"Okay, Hutch, whatever you say." Starsky said in a flat, deadpan voice. He struggled into the lounge and lay face down on the sofa. The memory of Jackson inside him was almost overwhelming. He wanted to deny it, but knew that was one thing he could never do. The memory would forever been burned into his mind. Hutch watched him for a few moments without saying a word and then went to get a blanket for his friend.

Huggy left them alone, promising to send a doctor as soon as possible and to bring some food by for them later. He knew that Starsky and Hutch needed to be together so they could start to try and pull themselves together but he knew it wasn't going to be easy.

Hutch watched Starsky with deep concern and worry. He could see the level of pain Starsky was in and, God only knew, what that maniac had done to him. The back of his jeans had some spots of blood on them and Hutch found himself growing angry again. But he found himself grateful that Starsky had agreed to see a doctor. He went to make some coffee that he didn't particularly want, but he needed to keep busy. Starsky had fallen asleep almost immediately and he only woke up when the doctor finally arrived.

Starsky didn't want Hutch to be with him when the doctor examined him but he was also frightened to be left alone and vulnerable. Hutch realized Starsky's dilemma and after Hutch had heled Starsky into his bedroom, he told his friend that he'd be standing by the door if he was needed. Starsky nodded briefly and allowed the uncomfortable examination to proceed. He closed his eyes tightly during the humiliating and painful exam, wishing he was anywhere but where he was.

The doctor was quiet, calm and efficient as he tended to the worst of the wounds and put in some stitches. Starsky remained extremely quiet, his reaction worrying Hutch even more.

"You don't seem to be suffering from the drug any more, so my guess it was some sort of relaxant. Take these tablets to avoid infection, and here are some pain killers. Call me if you need anything." The doctor glanced at Hutch, noticing his frail appearance as he leaned on the door frame. The last few hours had taken their toll on a body that was supposed to be resting in a hospital bed. "Are you okay, sir?"

"I'm fine thanks, doc." Hutch told him flatly. The doctor had no choice but to accept that answer, although he doubted if that statement was true. He was a friend of Huggy's and Huggy had warned him about these two. They certainly appeared close and it would be that closeness that would help his patient recover from what was undoubtedly a horrendous trauma.

Hutch saw the doctor out and came back to sit next to the bed, watching his partner who had fallen asleep again. Starsky looked so very frail and tired. His face was covered in bruises and cuts, his mouth swollen. The worst of the cuts were on his wrists and the sight of those abrasions wrung Hutch's heart. There were a visible sign of the desperate struggle that Starsky had made to escape. There was no doubt Starsky had fought with all of his not inconsiderable strength. Hutch started to reach out to touch the injured wrist but pulled back suddenly. The last thing his partner needed was any unexpected touches. He blinked back tears as he studied the very still body. Oh Starsk, what did you have to endure? He knew it would be a very long road to recovery but he'd do whatever it took to help his friend.

Hutch had pushed himself too hard and he soon drifted off to sleep as his body gave in to the demands for rest. When he opened his eyes, he was surprised to find himself laying on his bed and he could smell the aroma of coffee being brewed.

STARSKY! He got out of bed as quickly as he could and made his way to the kitchen where his battered friend was making breakfast. Very slowly and carefully as if each movement hurt, but still persisting.

"Starsk, what are you doing out of bed?" Hutch asked in concern.

"I'm okay, Hutch. Just a bit sore." His slow movements bore testament to this statement.

"Did you get me into bed? I can't even remember." Hutch asked.

Starsky gave him a weak grin. "You were pretty much out to it, but yes I put you to bed. You've been shot, blintz!"

Hutch just looked at him as he recognized that something was very wrong with this scene. Starsky was looking everywhere but at him.

"Starsk?"

"Eat your breakfast, Blondie. It's not that often I make it! Then we've gotta talk." Starsky said quietly.

Hutch sat down and watched Starsky moving so very carefully, wondering what was going through his mind. Usually he could take a guess but Starsky's face was completely blank and devoid of any particular expression. That in itself was frightening to the blond detective. Hutch waited patiently, knowing he couldn't push Starsky with any of this.

"I don't want anyone to know about this, Hutch. That means I'm not reporting it."

Starsky was still looking away from Hutch.

Hutch put down his knife and fork. He had a feeling that the next few minutes were critical, but he didn't know why. There was something determined about his battered friend that he didn't quite trust.

"I know, buddy. No-one will, but you should know that Dobey was there and Huggy…." He was unprepared for Starsky's reaction.

"Fuck, Hutch! It's not bad enough that he raped me, now the whole fuckin' world knows!" Starsky was furious, no not furious, but panic-stricken. This is what he'd dreaded most. If he could have hidden it from Hutch he would have, but there was no point in denying what they both knew. His memories of Hutch finding him were vague but he was under no illusion that Hutch hadn't guessed what had happened.

"NO, Starsk!" Hutch jumped up and stood next to him, gently pulling his face around so that they were looking at each other, glad that Starsky made no attempt to pull away.

"Not the whole world. Our two best friends, who you know we can trust. I've already told Dobey that this won't be in any report." Hutch spoke firmly.

Starsky looked at him in amazement "He was okay about that?"

"I won't lie to you, Starsk. No he wasn't, but he won't push this, won't push you. This will be how you want it." Hutch was determined that he'd do whatever he needed to in order to ensure it was as easy for Starsky as possible.

"Jackson is in custody?" Starsky's voice trembled.

"Yeah, he is. The son-of-a-bitch is behind bars and won't get you again." Hutch said with intensity.

Starsky watched him for a moment before turning away.

"I've been thinking. It's all over now, Hutch." Starsky could barely bring the words out.

Hutch watched him cautiously. "Your ordeal is over, Starsk. No bastard is going to touch you again, but we still have to deal with it."

"Not that,Hutch. Everything. Us, you and me. We can't be partners any more… He said it, I belong to him." Starsky hated the words and hated hurting his partner but it was the truth as he saw it.

Starsky was surprised at the reaction, although he knew he should have been prepared for a fight.

Hutch grabbed him, more roughly than he intended to and turned him around, gripping his arms tightly.

"NO! We're NOT over, Starsky. We WILL get over this, and yes I know it was you who was raped, but it affects me too. Your pain is my pain, and you know it. If you doubt it, just imagine what you'd feel if the situation was reversed. We'll take time out, as much as you need. We needn't go back on the streets, or even the Department, if you don't want to, but you are NOT getting rid of me that easily. You and me aren't over because some low life hurts you. We're partners forever, Starsk. That bastard is not going to take you from me. You do NOT belong to him! Are you telling me you want me to go?" Hutch was speaking firmly, but he was hiding a terrible fear. A fear that had been growing since he'd found his partner naked and being molested. A fear that he would lose Starsky, maybe not to death, but to the consequences of his terrible ordeal.

"But if I can't be your partner any more…" Starsky was speaking hesitantly. He too was feeling a terrible fear. He'd pre-empted it by telling Hutch it was over, but it was the last thing in the world he wanted. He needed Hutch more than anything in the world. He was the only person he knew that he could cry with, hold on to and he knew that he'd need that security. But what good would he be to Hutch if he couldn't face the world again. It would be a pretty one-sided partnership and as always he didn't intend to short-change his partner.

"Did you hear anything I just said? We're partners, buddy, and I'm not letting you go. We'll go away, leave LA for awhile. Whatever it takes."

Starsky looked fully at Hutch for the first time and saw the truth in his eyes. But there was something else he had to say.

"There's somethin' you need to know." Starsky swallowed hard, not sure how to continue but knowing if they were to stay partners he had to say it.

"What, buddy?" Hutch spoke gently, realizing Starsky needed to talk.

"He, um…" Starsky's voice broke and he looked away from his partner. "He made me promise to stay with him if he saved you and I did. But I swear to you that I tried to fight back. One of the things that made him the angriest was when he said I'd broken my promise to him…"

Hutch fought back his horror at the image he had of Starsky being made to promise to stay with the sick pervert. The next few minutes were going to be vital.

"Starsk…" Hutch tried to keep his voice calm and soothing. "This wasn't your fault. He raped you!" The last word came out with a bit more emphasis than Hutch intended but he was struggling with his outrage and fury towards Jackson. "You didn't ask for that, and you've got nothing to be ashamed about!"

Starsky wasn't entirely convinced that Hutch had understood. "But I let him kiss me and he thought I was going to be his." He choked back a sob.

"To save me!" Hutch was overwhelmed with emotion as he came to terms with what Starsky had said. "We're partners, you're not his, and you have nothing to be ashamed about. What could you do? What could you have done differently?" Hutch demanded softly.

Starsky shook his head. "God help me, I don't know…" He dropped his head in shame.

"You survived, Starsky, and that means you beat him. You beat the odds and we're still partners and that's never gonna change. I hope like hell that no lunatic hurts you again but it doesn't make a damn bit of difference to how I feel about you and how I want you as a partner and my best friend."

The word friend struck a chord in Starsky's heart but he fought it down. As he looked again into the clear blue eyes of Hutch, swimming with concern and another undetermined emotion, he accepted the truth of what Hutch was saying. He still felt filthy and defiled but he understood that Hutch would love him through anything.

Almost without volition, he moved into Hutch's safe embrace. Touch had always been such an integral part of their relationship and despite his fear he wasn't going to let Jackson win any part of him.

"He hurt me, Hutch, he hurt me so bad. Why? Why did he want to do that?" He started to sob and all Hutch could do was hold him, as he too felt the tears falling.

"Dunno, Starsky. I really don't know but we'll get through this somehow." I don't know how anyone could want to hurt you like that. You're so kind and gentle, Hutch thought to himself as they supported each other. He knew they had a long way to go, a long road to recovery. But they'd beaten tough odds before thanks to his partner's indomitable spirit. The spirit that got him through Bellamy's poisoning, Marcus' torture and the shooting by Gunther, would rise again and they'd make it. Whether they'd be cops again remained to be seen. Hutch was so tired of the ugliness and danger that stalked them, he didn't much care if that happened or not. His partner, his friend, was the only thing that mattered.

END

Epilogue to follow.