Confession

ARPRIL 1st, 2011

Today was the day; the day I stop being quiet and finally tell Margaret how I feel. I knew though that this wasn't going to be easy: Margaret was always fantasizing on Repar more than she did with any of her other boyfriends, almost as if she was really in lo…NO! I can't think that way, I have to stay positive.

It was April Fool's day, the only day where Rigby and I truly brought out our inner child. I knew he would try something clever and I would be ready. I cautiously went to the kitchen to get some cereal, anticipating anything. I slowly opened the fridge: no trap. I got the milk. I slowly opened the cabinets: no trap. I got the cereal and a bowl. I sat down and slowly ate my cereal, scanning the kitchen for any possible ambush: Nothing. Something wasn't right here. He usually gets me by now and then I counter-prank him. The living room, dining room, our room, the garage, all empty. What the hell?

I decided to just shrug it off and go wash up. I went into the bathroom to take a shower. The hot water was very refreshing and woke me up. Just then, I heard the door slowly creak open and small footsteps entering.

"Rigby, if you're actually going to try the old 'flushing the toilet trick,' then you've really lost your touch," I gloated. I continued to scrub until I noticed that I didn't hear any more footsteps.

"Rigby?"

Still nothing.

"Rigby?" My voice suddenly was now filled with fear.

I slowly opened the shower curtain to reveal a tall black cloak with a hood and a black arm extended, holding a large butcher knife.

I screamed like a little girl and held the shower curtain close to my chest. I didn't know what to do; if I tried to charge, he'd probably gut me, if I just stayed here, he'd still gut me. I got down on my knees on the wet shower floor and begged for my life. The black cloak got closer to me and looked me in the eye. My heart pounded against my chest, my body trembled. It put the knife right to my neck.

"Mordecai..." A deep voice moaned.

"Pl-please do-don't kill me," I quivered.

It's face was now 5 inches away from mine.

Oh God…

"APRIL FOOL'S SUCKA!" Rigby's voice yelled. I loosened up and squinted to see through the hood. He pulled the hood down to reveal his face full of laughter, then took the robe off. He was on stilts and had a microphone up to his mouth.

"Where did you get all that stuff?"

"From the garage. These cool stilts and a voice changing mic."

"Okay…okay you got me."

"H yeah I got you. Ohhhhhhhhh!"

Rigby left and let me continue my shower. I'll get him back. I went to dry up in my room. I decided to do my own thing for today and send my own a prank text message to some of my friends, including Margaret.

[Me]: FWD: URGENT! URGENT! DO NOT IGNORE THIS MESSAGE. YOU WILL FACE SOME KIND OF BULL**** CONSEQUENCE, THAT WON'T REALLY HAPPEN. DO YOU GET IT? THIS ISN'T REAL!

DID I WASTE YOUR TIME? GOOD! APRIL FOOL'S DAY! :D

I waited to see how some of them would react. Some "lol'd" but Margaret's was the best one.

[Margaret]: Omg! I love you! Lol April fool's day to you too ^_^

She said, "I love you." She actually said, "I love you."

Calm down Mordecai, you know better. It was the friendly "I love you"

Probably: Still, a man can dream, can't he?

Another text came from Margaret. It wasn't an April Fool's joke, just one of those forwards. The message had numbers from 1-10, each with its own action:

1: Kiss

2: Sex

3: Lap dance

4: Hug

5: Cuddle

6: Tell a secret

7: Have a baby

8: Long distance relationship

9: Going Steady

10: Be Friends

The message then went on to say: Which number would you want from the person who sent you this? What a coincidence that I get this message the day I was going to confess to Margaret.

To tell you the truth, all of them sounded great. I mean we already are friends, I love to hug her any day, a kiss would be a miracle, I'm going to tell her my secret today, and it would be a dream come true if we finally went steady. I've always wanted to cuddle her in my arms; I always saw in the future that we could be together and possible have a child together.

And being able to have sex and/or lap dance from her…Well I think you already know what I would say for that. Yea-yah!

A long distance relationship wouldn't be possible, since we already live close to each other.

I didn't know how to answer this text. If I told her the truth, it would probably freak her out. I decided to say something that would probably sound stupid, but would get me out of it quick.

[Me]: Is this real?

Told you it would be stupid. Margaret answered back seconds later.

[Margaret]: Nah, just a FWD :) Hey I'm on my break now, come talk to me

[Me]: Yeah, I'll be there in a bit

[Margaret]: Cool

This is it.

I went downstairs to see what Rigby was doing. He was getting a soda from the kitchen and went into the living room.

"You going somewhere Mordecai?" he asked.

"Yeah, to the coffee shop."

"Okay, tell Eileen I said 'hi'"

"Sure. I'm guessing you're going to be playing Shooter Booter now?" I said as I made my way to the door.

"Yeah man. I've been dominating this week. Nothing can stop me now." He turned on the game.

"Alright, well good luck with that." I turned the door knob and made my way out, then got into the golf cart, and as soon as I was about to start the engine, I heard Rigby scream at the top of his lungs, so loud that it could heard outside the house.

"WHO THE FUCK DELETED MY PROFILE?"

"Hmph. Hmph. April Fool's" I said to myself contently.

Here I was, at the coffee shop, standing at the entrance. I tried to steady my breathing but I couldn't. My body started to shake lightly. It was relentless. No matter how much I tried I just continued to vibrate. I walked into the shop, still shaking, trying to find Margaret.

"Mordecai, over here!" I heard her shout. She was sitting in one of the booths on the far left. I waved to her and made my way over. I practiced what I would say to an extent, but the thing about that is, no matter how much you practice, it's bound to change somehow.

I sat down across from her and we exchanged greetings.

"So how are you?" Margaret asked.

"I'm fine, you?"

"Good, so you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah um…" My mind went blank. Everything I practiced, gone. They were just bits and pieces now.

Oh God, what do I do?

Margaret was waiting. I finally spoke up.

"It's about you helping me find my dream girl…you can stop now."

"Oh…I see what's going on."

"You do?" My vibrating got stronger.

"Yeah, I remember Eileen asked me if I could help find her dream guy. A few days later she told me to stop because she thought she was a burden. I'm going to tell you the same thing I told her: It's really no trouble at all. I don't mind helping you."

My vibrating calmed down but it was still going.

"No, no it's not that." I said. My voice was shaky.

"Well what is it?" She started to sound curious.

My heart was pounding loud enough that I could hear it. There was a huge lump in my throat. My heart rate was now at a fast rate. It was like having stage fright but the only audience was Margaret and she was waiting. I took a deep breath and held my palms. They were starting to get sweaty.

"You see…" Come on Mordecai, you can do this.

"Remember when I told you my description of my dream girl?"

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Well…I realized something…after I told you that." This is it. "I had already found someone."

"Really? Who?" she said excitingly.

"Well she fits my description of a dream girl perfectly. I can't seem to find anyone else who fits it…that girl...is you." A huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. "I know you already have someone but I just couldn't keep quite anymore."

Everything seemed to freeze at that point. I actually said it. The last time I admitted my feelings for a girl was…yeah it was that long ago.

Margaret's eyes had a sympathetic and compassionate look to them.

"Mordecai, I'm very touched by what you said," Margaret said compassionately.

She's touched by what I said.

"As you know though, I already have a boyfriend."

"Yeah…" My heart grew heavier.

"Listen, Mordecai, you'll find the right girl for you. You just need to look or maybe she'll find you. You're a nice guy; I know you'll find someone."

"It just seems so hard." My head was down slightly.

"The time will come, don't worry."

"Okay, thanks…for understanding."

"You can talk to me about anything. Trust me, I've been through many weird things with guys, and that was so sweet of you to admit how you felt."

"I couldn't keep it secret…thanks for being honest," I said trying to work up a smile.

"No problem," she said sincerely.

There was a short silence after that. During that time we smiled at each other lightly, but my smile would crack into a frown. The weight came back down. I gestured to her if she would give me a hug. I needed one. She got up from the seat and hugged me. I was still sitting down and wrapped my wings around her softly. I wanted to cry, just leave and cry on my way home. That hug had such meaning behind it. It was like signing a contract saying that I might never be more than friends with Margaret. That this was where the line would be drawn; I'd never have a chance with Margaret.

That hug felt so long even though it was so short. I had to leave. Just get out and think. Thankfully, Margaret's boss called for her name.

"Looks like my break is over," she said sounding embarrassed.

"Yeah, and I think my boss needs me back to do some work," I lied.

"Yeah…I'll see you around," Margaret went to her post and waved goodbye. I did the same and left.

The drive back home seemed like a long one. My vibrating had stopped but my heart was still filled with sorrow. My body was hot from all the emotions that ran inside me. I had shed a few tears every now and again and just groaned on how much this day suddenly sucked. It was so genius of me to tell her this on April Fool's day. Of all days April Fool's day! The prank Rigby pulled on me meant nothing. The prank I played on Rigby meant nothing. All that mattered was how I was let down after all the worry I went through. Nothing else that would happen today would matter.

I parked the golf cart in front of the garage and sighed. I went inside the house and Rigby ran up to me.

"Okay Mordecai! I've asked everyone around and they swear they haven't deleted my Shooter Booter profile, so that only leaves you. Why did you delete it!" he whined.

"It's not deleted. I just put it on a memory card. It's underneath my bed," I said uncaringly and sad. I went into the living room and started to play Dig Champs.

Rigby noticed how I sounded and sat down next to me on the couch.

"You okay dude?" He asked.

"…I've been better."