Sirius had almost forgotten what it felt like to be afraid.

Worry, stress, frustration – he was certainly no stranger to those; especially these last few months, what with Harry and the Order and Arthur's accident at Christmas. But fear – it had been years since he had felt genuine fear.

Mad-Eye, Kingsley and Tonks had been round most of the afternoon, discussing business as usual; Severus had shown up not fifteen minutes ago to explain a problem at Hogwarts – Sirius understood, outside of the thoughts of what is he doing in my house, the snivelling git, and looking at me like that, he's lucky I don't put him through a wall that he normally experienced when Snape was around, that for some reason, Harry, Ron and Hermione were in the Department of Mysteries, and had recently been confronted by most of Voldemort's Death Eaters.

As Mad-Eye started barking orders at everyone and Sirius was half-thinking that it was probably a bit disconcerting that he would happily kill a number of his blood relatives with his bare hands, Bellatrix and Lucius being at the top of the list, Severus spoke up again.

"Oh, and Black?"

Just the sound of his voice was enough to send a thrill of irritation up Sirius's spine; never mind that Snape was clearly going to relish whatever he had to say. Sirius met his eyes.

"Yes, Snivellus?" (He couldn't resist, old habits die hard.)

"Dumbledore's asked that you stay here. You understand, I'm sure, it wouldn't do for a convicted murder to stroll into the Ministry of Magic... I daresay you'd much rather stay here, at any rate, let the others take the risks..."

"I'd watch the way you speak to my in my house, Severus," Sirius retorted, instantly tense, "but then, you always had a smart mouth, didn't you? I seem to recall it getting you into a fair bit of trouble on more than one occasion – never won you points with Lily, did it?"

A strange expression crossed Snape's face then; they had both drawn their wands. "Black – "

"Honestly, Sirius..." Remus was at his shoulder; his eyes flickered between them before he steered Sirius out into the hall, pointedly ignoring Snape's equally pointed remark about "Lupin having to step in like always, like a good boy..."

"Clearly, we don't have a lot of time," Remus said in a rush, glancing back at the kitchen door before turning to face him. "If I get out of this – "

"When we get out of this – "

"Sirius, listen – "

"Remus – "

"Would you just – "

"I want you to know – "

"I know – "

"Remus," Sirius began anew, "shut up for a second, and listen to me. There is absolutely no way I am staying here with Snivellus. I'm coming with you." The look on Remus's face was answer enough. "You and Harry – " he paused, breathed deep, and tried again. "You and Harry are all I have. I'm not sitting in this house waiting for news. I'm coming with you."

"I never could stop you from doing particularly idiotic things, you know. Merlin knows I tried." Remus smiled weakly, tired – he was always so tired.

"I know," Sirius said; the reality of the situation hit him like a brick. This was happening. He did the only thing he could; wrapped both arms around Remus's waist, pulling him close, and kissed him. Remus's hands came up to the nape of his neck, gripping hard enough to bruise, mouth hungry and hot and needy even as two hearts broke in their respective chests. It wasn't until they stopped, reluctantly even if they were millimetres apart, that Sirius realized the tears rapidly drying on his skin belonged to both of them.

He buried himself in the crook of Remus's neck, inhaling the smell of salt and musk and wolf, murmuring oaths and promises that Remus couldn't have been able to hear clearly, but he meant them just the same, fierce and sincere.

Remus was holding him so tightly Sirius was sure his bones would crack; when they broke apart he felt it like the loss of a limb. A million things – he tried not to think last words – that seemed suddenly very important to say occurred to him in that second. He settled for the truth – his teenage self cringed to think that adult-Sirius was such a walking cliché, but teenage-Sirius was a bit of a prat anyway.

"I love you, you know."

"I love you, present tense," Remus said, "always bloody have, past tense; and will continue to do so, future tense; even though you are a complete idiot and you make me crazy."

"I'll take what I can get," Sirius replied, and, wiping at their eyes, the two of them turned and headed back into the kitchen.