The nightmare just felt real to me. It was like I was there once more.
I was back in Paris. And I had left the hotel room I was in with Epsilon.
The morning sun was filling the streets, and I could hear the Morning Doves give out their birdcall. Cars were already driving; people were walking, talking, sitting at a café and eating with friends or by themselves.
I leaned up against a street light pole, and pressed the button to walk across the street. This morning argument had made me tired and a bit low on energy. The tears were already starting to come to me, and when I looked up the walking sign had the green person on it.
I crossed the street in silence, and closed my eyes only for a split and when they opened up again, that is when it all happened. There was a screech from car tires, and I lunged out of the way quickly enough. Though I avoided being killed, my head hit the headlight of another car and I blacked out.
It felt like the area of my head had been broken. No, not broken but smashed. The pain was ripping through me, but I couldn't scream.
I desperately wanted to wake up from this nightmare and wake up in Epsilon's arms, safe and sound. Only this was no nightmare.
This was real.
Time went by. And I bet the days must have gone by too. But all I could remember exactly was the argument that Epsilon and I had. And with the decision if Epsilon should erase my memories of us or kill me.
They will ask me, the doctors, if I recall anything before the car incident. They will be asking me all sorts of questions to me. I will have to lie. Lie through my bloody teeth and act like everything between Epsilon and I was forever forgotten.
My eyes open to the light of my hospital room, and I was breathing deeply. A nurse quickly came in and called for the doctor that I was awake. I sat up, and covered my eyes.
"Ma'am, do you recall what happened to you?"
What happened to me. I wanted to tell him that I remember, but I objected to that idea and gave him a confused look.
"What did happen to me?"
Looking a bit past him, I saw Epsilon standing in the doorway and I pretended to be a bit more confused.
"Who is he?"
"He knows you and says that you two are lovers, ma'am."
I thought about that for a few moments. Another lie to do.
"I don't recall anything about having a lover. I came here to France for summer vacation on my own. I don't recall meeting anyone here and falling in love, nor while living over in London, England."
The three of them whispered quietly to each other, and I just lay down on the bed again. I had done my job of convincing them that I have amnesia. I heard the doctor said that one word to the nurse and Epsilon.
Nothing will be the same again.
It was all over now. I don't have to be killed or have my memories erased by Epsilon. I can still live and remember everything, and act like I don't actually remember around people.
But one day, it will all come out to the open.
And I will be in tears, when it does.