AN: Big thanks to all my reviewers and devoted readers. Sorry for keeping you waiting so long. Sorry if there are a bunch of errors. I must admit that it's late here in Sweden and I am eager to post this chapter, so rather than wait a whole day, I choose to post the chapter now. Enjoy!
Chapter Ten
A child is born
Two weeks after Hermione had gotten the shockingly cold reply from Harry, she was enjoying a hearty breakfast of waffles, eggs and bacon, while Severus watched her with a mix of amusement and surprise. She had always been a light eater, like himself, but the baby growing inside of her clearly had other ideas about her eating habits. The last few days it had seemed near impossible to stop herself from stuffing her face at every meal.
"Severus, I was wondering if I could go to St Mungo's today," Hermione suddenly said, breaking the silence for the first time since they had started breakfast.
Hermione had moved into Severus's quarters a few days before and so far the living arrangement seemed to agree with them both. She could tell that her old professor had no real problem relinquishing his personal space and share his private life with her. On the contrary, he seemed to love the advantage of always being able to keep an eye on her. She knew that along with the growing of her stomach, Severus's would become more and more of a mother hen. Putting "Severus" and "mother hen" in the same sentence sounded ridiculous, but that was the truth; Hermione couldn't say she would mind much
Severus raised a slender eyebrow in question – they both knew they had a perfectly good Healer in Madame Pomfrey and there was no need for her to go to St Mungo's for a checkup.
"Please don't speak with your mouth full, Hermione."
She just rolled her eyes and shoveled some more eggs in to her mouth, and Severus gave her a mock look of disgust, whilst patiently waiting to hear the reason for why she wanted to go to St Mungo's.
"I want to visit my mum," she explained once she had swallowed. "I haven't seen her since I checked her in, I've been so busy with everything going on..."
Severus's expression grew solemn in respect and he nodded his head in understanding. Hermione had never spoken about her mother, something he had taken as a sign that it simply hurt too much.
"And with school starting next week, I don't know how much time there will be to go during term."
"Do you wish for me to accompany you?" Severus wondered gently.
Hermione nodded as she put her cup of tea down on the table.
"Yes, please," she answered, relief evident on her face that she wouldn't have to do this alone. "If you don't have any pressing matters to attend to today?"
Severus just shook his head and then wiped his mouth carefully with a napkin. Hermione fought the urge to point out that he was so careful when he ate that he would never need wipe his mouth once he was done.
"For you, my dear, I would drop everything on today's schedule and attend to your every need and whim," he said as he bowed his head to her, a small smile lingering on his lips. "And Hermione, whenever you want to visit your mother, just ask me. I will find the time to take you."
She gave him a little grin in return. He was so sweet to her these days, always putting her needs before his own... Spoiling her, in so many different ways, and she doubted that he was even aware of it.
"Why don't we leave after breakfast, then?" Hermione suggested, scraping up the last of the scrambled eggs from her plate. "We might as well get it over with."
Ten minutes later, the pair was ready to depart. They walked down to the gates of Hogwarts, and just as they were about to go through the gates, Hermione came to an abrupt halt. Severus turned to face her, a curious expression on his face. He noticed her hands dart towards her stomach.
"I'm still not showing, right?"
Oh, so she was worried about meeting someone she knew and, right, the pregnancy was supposed to be a big secret. He sighed and took a couple of steps away from her, eying her carefully.
"Turn to to your left," he instructed and not even in her profile was her growing stomach detectable. "You're still not showing."
"Good. Thank you."
Once in Hogsmeade, far away enough from the wards of the Hogwarts grounds, they apparated to the entrance of St Mungo's. For a moment, Hermione just watched the building as she shuddered lightly. Her mother would be stuck in this place for the rest of her life. Would she even be aware of Hermione now? Would she be able to hold her grandchild and understand that Hermione was the mother? She sighed deeply and then she looked at Severus, giving him a small nod to show him that she was ready to continue. They walked side by side and just as they reached the entrance, another pair was leaving. Hermione's heart almost stopped.
Ginny and Mrs Weasley. Merlin's beard – she just couldn't catch a break could she?
From the stiff posture of the man beside her, Hermione knew that Severus had seen them as well. And like her, he knew that a confrontation would not be possible to avoid. Ginny noticed them first, and Hermione was surprised to see the evident look of grief on the younger woman's features. A second later, Hermione noticed something that suddenly scared her – Ginny's stomach was... flat. Hermione quickly counted in her head, coming to the conclusion that Ginny shouldn't be due for another month. Oh, no...
"What are you doing here?" Mrs Weasley snapped in an unpleasant greeting, her eyes instantly cleared of all warmth as she wrapped an arm around her daughter. "Here to gloat? Have you come to inform us of some ridiculous plan to get Harry back? Well, I won't stand for it!"
Hermione's jaw dropped in surprise. She had felt nothing but sympathy for her old friend up until Mrs Weasley had opened her mouth with this nonsense.
"Don't be absurd, Molly!" Severus hissed, knowing full well that Hermione was too shocked at the moment to speak for herself. "How in Merlin's name would we have been able to know that you were here? As a matter of fact, up until now, neither of us knew that there was anything to gloat about!"
"Lies!" Molly spat, thrusting her finger out in an accusative manner. "How could you not have heard? It's been all over the press..."
"Molly, listen to me very carefully, because I will only say this once," Severus interrupted calmly, but still forcefully enough for Mrs Weasley to shut her mouth in surprise. "Not that you deserve an explanation, but for some reason, I feel inclined to give you one anyway. Hermione and I have been in the Potions lab for two weeks, trying endlessly to restock the infirmary's supply of medical potions before the term starts, only pausing for sleep and nutrition. Neither one of us has read the Prophet in weeks, since the new editor is an imbecile who only publishes mindless drivel. Believe me when I say that we have not been informed of these unfortunate events."
Hermione kept her eyes on Ginny as Severus spoke and noticed that the younger witch refused to look at her or Severus. Mrs Weasley was just glaring at the Potions Master with contempt, looking as if she didn't believe a word he was saying.
"It is highly insulting if you believe that either Hermione or myself would rejoice in the loss of a child, Molly, regardless of these unique circumstances. Us being here has nothing to do with you."
"That's preposterous! Why else would you be here? Madame Pomfrey is an excellent Healer, so there really is no reason for you to be here!"
This had to end, now, before Hermione got a headache.
"Mrs Weasley, you're being unreasonable," Hermione snapped, her patience with the older woman finally gone. "Even you can't be stupid enough to think that Madame Pomfrey can treat every affliction. Besides, did it occur to you that not everything in this bloody world is about you?"
She felt some small satisfaction when Mrs Weasley's jaw dropped in surprise, but the older woman caught herself quickly and harrumphed.
"I still demand to know what you're doing here!"
"Oh, for the love of all that's holy!" Hermione nearly shouted, causing Ginny to jump and Mrs Weasley to take a step back. "My mother is a permanent resident at the Janus Thickey Ward, since someone once told me that I should lock her properly! I'm here to visit her, you heartless, selfish woman, and Severus was kind enough to accompany me!"
A look of regret flashed over Mrs Weasley's features, but Hermione didn't give a damn. She turned to the girl who once was her friend.
"I think you know, Ginny, that I would never gloat about your loss. I truly am sorry."
With that she brushed past them, while Severus shot a nasty look at Mrs Weasley before he followed. He caught up with Hermione in a few strides, who was shaking quite badly. She stopped abruptly and flung herself into Severus's arms. They stood like that for a little while, and even though people around them were openly staring at them, he didn't care.
"Hermione, you're ruining my reputation as the cold, mean, heartless, greasy dungeon bat," he told her softly, hoping to get her in higher spirits.
He heard her let out a small laugh and she finally let go of him. She just gave him a grateful smile, which he returned and bowed his slightly in recognition of her silent way of thanking him. As they made their way to the Janus Thickey Ward, Hermione found herself wondering what would she do without him.
"Why do think no one's told me?" Hermione asked quietly as they made their way down the halls. "Not even George..."
She trailed off helplessly as she glanced at Severus; he usually had some kind of answer, be it fact or a calculated guess, but this time he simply gave her an uncharacteristic shrug of his shoulders.
"I do not think that people have been purposely keeping this from you, Hermione. This must have come as a shock, even to George."
She let out a sigh, and nodded. A few seconds later, she gasped in realization and came to an abrupt stop. Severus could almost she her brain working to fit the pieces together.
"Do you think this is the reason he didn't open my letter?" she wondered finally. "That he thought that I was going to rub it in somehow?"
It was evident in her eyes that the thought of Harry thinking that she could be so malicious was hurting her. Severus sighed gently.
"Hermione, contrary to popular belief I don't know everything," he said slowly, noticing that the corners of her mouth twitched, but she didn't smile. "I know even less of how the mind of the wizarding hero works. I can sadly not give you answer to any of these questions."
Hermione just nodded in defeat. As their made their way to Mrs Granger, Hermione made a mental note to write to George the minute they returned to Hogwarts.
HP * HP * HP * HP * HP
"You're here to inform me that you're going out," Harry stated, glancing up from his book at Ginny, who was dressed up to her teeth in a short, dark green cocktail dress.
"Yeah," came Ginny's annoyed reply, and she eyed him wearily, tightening her winter cloak around her – it was mid February and freezing outside. "I don't suppose you want to join us? I'm meeting up with Lavender and Parvati and another couple of girls from Hogwarts. Some of the guys might be there too."
Harry narrowed his eyes a fraction, suddenly unsure of how to interpret her tone. It almost sounded as if a part of her wanted him to join her and another part of her really didn't want him to – almost as if she was hoping for him to decline, like he always did. He wondered briefly if living in celibacy was taking its toll on her and if she had finally started cheating on him.
"No, you have fun. Say hello to everyone from me though, yeah?"
Ginny harrumphed and didn't even bother to bid her husband goodbye. Harry watched her leave, waited patiently for the sound of apparition and then he sighed, putting the book down on the little table next to him.
Since the loss of their child, everything had been so strange. For the first couple of weeks, Ginny had been inconsolable before suddenly shifting gear, seemingly doing all in her power to bed Harry in order to have another child. She had cooked him delicious, romantic candlelit dinners, she had dressed up in sexy little outfits, she had waited on his bed (yes, his bed – they slept in different rooms) without any clothes on... Time after time, Harry had been forced to see the anguish on her face when he rejected her. He knew she wanted to make amends, by having another child, but he just couldn't... Not yet. He had taken the loss very hard.
He still wanted children, very much so. He also knew that getting out of their marriage would be near impossible, since only extreme circumstances allowed divorce in the wizarding world. Harry soon came to the revelation that the only way for their marriage to work was if they had children, and the notion seemed unbelievable harsh, but that was how he felt. He loved Ginny to some extent, but it would never be enough to live his life with only her. So, five months after the loss of their unborn child, Harry approached Ginny and said he was ready to start trying to get pregnant.
Ginny's reaction had come as a shock to him. She had told him, quite frankly that she had changed her mind – that she didn't want to have children. Now that she had been given some distance to everything that had happened and how she had felt those weeks after being at St Mungo's, just the thought of being pregnant and the chance of going through all of that again made her absolutely terrified. If she lost another child, she would not be able to handle it. Harry, in his state of shock, had been unable to come up with anything to say.
And now, they were leading very different lives. Harry would be graduating from the Auror Academy in a few months, in the beginning of June, and all he wanted to do when he came home every weekend was to just enjoy some peace and quiet – have a great dinner, read a book, watch the telly... He did not share Ginny's constant need to go out partying or meeting all their friends for dinners here and there.
They were more or less living separate lives and the thing that Harry wanted most at the moment was for Ginny to start cheating on him so that he could use that along with his status of being the "boy who lived to vanquish He-who-must-not-be-named" to ensure his case of "extreme circumstance" when he filed for divorce.
HP * HP * HP * HP * HP
"Hermione, you need to sit down and relax," Severus said sternly, his expression more serious than it had been in a long time, and he held up a hand when she opened her mouth to protest. "Don't you dare deny the fact that you remain standing on your feet solely out of pure stubbornness. I will not have it. Sit down – know."
Hermione's mouth dropped open in surprise.
"But, Severus, I will damage the potion if I leave now and..."
"I will take over," Severus interrupted impatiently, grasping the ladle she was about to stir the potion with, gently pushing her out of the way. "For Merlin's sake, Hermione! You're over eight and a half months pregnant – you need to slow down!"
He was unable to mask his worry any longer and Hermione sighed, grudgingly admitting to herself that he had a point. She hated being coddled and there had been a lot of coddling the last couple of months. All the teachers knew of Hermione's condition, but none except Severus and Minerva knew who the father was. When told, Minerva had agreed with Severus that Harry had the right to know, but in the end they had conceded that it was Hermione's decision. The teachers were ecstatic over the prospect of an infant being born in the Castle and where already discussing ways to baby proof the corridors for when the infant would grow into a toddler who would wildly roam the ancient halls like no child had done in over a lifetime. For the staff, this truly was a joyous occasion; a toddler hadn't been terrorizing the corridors in well over sixty years and they were all looking forward to seeing the baby grow.
Hermione was glad that the teachers were excited and that she could talk to them about the pregnancy as well as the future, because she hated not being able to tell her friends. Not that she had many friends these days, but still... She wondered what George and Luna would say if they knew; she really couldn't be certain about their reactions. Her gut told her that they would side with her, especially Luna. But since George was a Weasley, she would never be a hundred percent certain that he would be pleased, even though he seemed to care more about her than his family in many ways.
The students didn't know anything. Ever since she had started showing, she had placed a glamor charm over her stomach and securely kept it there whenever she left her quarters. No one could know about this; before she had told the teachers, she had sworn them all to silence. Someone had wondered if all the secrecy was needed because Severus was the father.
"Don't be ridiculous," Hermione and Severus had snapped at the same time, sharing an amused look before Hermione had continued. "Severus is like a father to me. Please don't dwell further into that absurd notion. Just the thought is slightly sickening... No offense, Severus."
Severus had fought the urge to roll his eyes.
"None taken, Hermione," he had said briskly. "Just as you must not take offense in the fact that I find it slightly sickening as well."
Hermione had grinner at that, and the topic had been dropped.
"Hermione, standing idly by and watching me stir does not count as relaxing. Sit down now."
Severus snapping at her brought her back to her senses. He seldom gave her orders, and when he did, it was usually for her own good. She gave him a sour look before she plopped down on the chair he had conjured for her and he gave her a satisfied nod as he stirred the potion she had been working on.
"How did your checkup with Poppy go this morning?" Severus wondered, glancing at her briefly before returning his gaze to the simmering potion.
"As expected," Hermione answered as she shifted on the seat, trying to find a position that didn't press the baby against her bladder. "The baby's is healthy and all that. She's still trying to talk me into letting her check the sex."
Severus snorted in amusement. He could still remember the expression on Madame Pomfrey's face when Hermione had told her that she didn't want to know the gender of the baby. Poppy had never encountered a witch before who didn't want to know before hand if she was carrying a boy or a girl. Hermione had even forbidden the medi-witch to gather the information for her file... She didn't want anyone to know.
"Well, at least she is keeping her word, however grudgingly she seems to be doing it," Severus commented without taking his eyes off the potion. "Have you thought about names?"
Hermione couldn't help but smile at his question, a question she had received many, many times from all teachers. However, Severus had been asking her about names at least a couple of times every week.
"I have, but... I would kind of maybe want a name with some connection to Harry, but... that might be stupid," she murmured, trying to keep the hurt from her voice.
Severus's snapped up to meet hers and she saw the conflicting emotions in his eyes; what to do, keep stirring the potion or console her?
"Don't be an idiot, Severus," she chided him and gave him a brave smile. "Drop that ladle and you'll ruin several hours of my work. I am fine."
Severus held her glance a moment longer and then he sighed, turning back to the potion with a huff.
"Why would it be stupid?" he finally asked.
"It would be kind of obvious to the staff if I named the baby Harry, or even Lily or James, don't you think? And once the rest of the wizarding world finds out, I'm sure they'll jump to the same conclusions..."
"... and so would Mr Potter," he finished for her. "You still haven't explained your newfound fear of the possibility of the Weasley's or Harry finding out about the baby."
Hermione inhaled deeply and gently stroke her swollen belly.
"George sent me a letter last week, saying that Ginny doesn't want children anymore and Harry is frustrated and angry about the fact. At the same time, he understands where Ginny's coming from; she almost died and when she lost the baby, her heart broke."
She paused for a moment as the potion made a "poofing" sound and she watched Severus drop the ladle to conjure some vials. He motioned for her to continue, that he was still listening.
"If Ginny doesn't want children, that means my child will be the heir to the Potter line. I don't know much about wizarding law, but I don't want to give the Weasley's the chance of claiming my child as their own; I don't know if Ginny, as Mrs Potter, has any right to take him or her away from me. I will not see my child raised by Ginny and Molly."
Severus quietly filled up all the vials before he finally turned to look at her. His expression was very serious and she could tell that he was doing some hard thinking.
"I understand your concern, Hermione. Ancient wizarding laws could make it possible for them to claim your child. They are seldom used today, but they are still in effect and could be called upon. However, would Mr Potter concede? Would he allow them to take your son or daughter from you?"
"I don't know!" Hermione exclaimed, her eyes suddenly filling with tears. "Maybe, if he gets desperate enough. I know he can't divorce Ginny, and if she doesn't want children... Then he has options. If he can get Ginny to accept my child as her own, he or she would be the legitimate heir to the Potter line."
They were quiet for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts. Severus was the one to break the silence, and he did so with an abrupt change of topic.
"Enough of this now."
He managed to help her to her feet and then he steered her towards the door.
"I'm buying you dinner at the Three Broomsticks. Go change and meet me at the Great Hall in ten minutes. Chop, chop!"
Hermione stared at him dumbly.
"Chop, chop?"
Severus's eyes narrowed a fraction and he let out a barely audible growl. Hermione, understanding his point, quickly left the room, chuckling softly as the hurried down the corridors. Dinner at the Three Broomsticks! That must mean that he desperately wanted her in higher spirits. She hurried as much as she could, but her ability to move these days was quite limited. After she was dressed, she roughly combed her hair and then she set off to the Great Hall. Severus was already there, waiting for her. He gave her a smile and offered her his arm and together they walked out on the grounds, the slightly tilted path making it much easier for Hermione to keep some sort of normal speed. And then she suddenly came to a halt. Severus gave her a questioning look.
"Severus," she whispered, her eyes suddenly wide with fear and panic. "We won't be going to dinner."
"Why? What's wrong? The baby?" Severus asked as he frowned, getting worried now.
She grasped his other arm and winced in pain.
"I need you to take me to Poppy. My water just broke."
HP * HP * HP * HP * HP
Hermione was in labor for a little over six hours and she knew after the first contraction that this would be the worst experience of her life. Severus had tried to leave, thinking that she would want privacy, but her panic had flared then and she had clutched to the sleeve of his robes, forcing him to stay. He had settled behind her then, or as much behind her that he could come in order for him to keep a firm hold of her hand. She had been calmer with him there, but the pain was nearly unbearable and she cried out for Harry when it was at its worst. Poppy's eyes had widened in realization and she had shot Severus a questioning glance. Severus had nodded once in confirmation, knowing that denying it would be pointless. Hermione would scold herself severely once the baby had been delivered.
It was a boy.
Once Poppy had cleaned him off, she had settled him on top of Hermione, a fond smile playing on her lips as she watched the little one squirm.
"He will look just like his father when he grows up," Poppy said softly, her eyes coming up to meet Hermione's, giving her a meaningful look.
Hermione's brown orbs widened in surprise and she turned to Severus for answers. He tried his best to give her comforting, reassuring smile.
"You cried out for him," he offered in explanation.
The young witch groaned in frustration and fear. Would Poppy be able to keep the information to herself?
"Dear child, even if you hadn't, I would have known. His eyes are emerald green and he's got mop of black hair already growing on his head... I will leave you three alone for a bit now; I'll go tell the teachers that all is well. I will not mention anything that will tie him to his father."
"Thank you," Hermione whispered and with one last smile at the little boy, Poppy left.
Severus settled down in a chair by her bed and he felt his heart constrict as he watched mother and son together. Hermione looked tired, but happy and content.
"He's so beautiful," she murmured softly.
Severus managed not to snort out loud. Why did women always think that newborn babies were beautiful? In his opinion, it took a few months before babies could even be considered cute.
"The little one needs a name now, Hermione."
The witch tore her eyes from her son to meet the Potions Master's gaze. He was looking at the boy with what she could only describe as awe; however, she knew he would not want to hold the little baby today... He would definitely need a few days to realize that he wouldn't hurt the tiny infant just by holding him.
"Severus, I know your relationship with your father wasn't the best, but did you hate him?"
Severus flinched, his eyes snapped up to meet hers; he was unable to mask how completely bewildered he was at the question. When she didn't elaborate, but rather looked as if she was expecting him to answer her, he pondered the question seriously for a few seconds.
"No, I never hated my father. There were times when I didn't like him much... Then again, the feeling was most likely mutual. But, no, I didn't hate him. Why do you ask?"
"Well... You know how much trouble I've finding a proper name for this little guy. I've settled for James as his middle name, because I want to keep true to some kind of tradition, although he really should have Harry or Harold as his middle name... But for some reason, I think James suits him better. Besides, the name Harry really doesn't go with the name I've been considering for him."
She paused then, giving her son a loving look as she stroke his gently. After a moment, she met Severus's confused gaze, instinctively knowing that she was making the right decisions.
"I have two things to ask of you, Severus. Please feel free to say no to both if you want to. I don't want to force you into anything," Hermione said softly, reaching her hand out to his.
He took it without hesitation.
"First, I want to ask your permission to name my son Toby. It's not exactly the same as Tobias, which was your father's name, and I'm assuming it's your middle name as well, but I would like his name to end with a y, like Harry does, you know? I would've liked to have named him Severus, but I don't think that Harry would be quite comfortable with his son being named after his most feared professor, if he ever were to find out."
Severus was speechless. He stared at the young witch in open shock; she seriously wanted to name her child after him? He didn't even know how to respond to such an honor.
"Severus, please," Hermione said softly, reading all his conflicting emotions in his eyes. "I have told you many times I consider you family. I don't know how I would have gotten through the past year without you. I owe you so much... Please agree to this. Let me name my son Toby."
"Hermione, you... honor me," Severus finally managed to choke out, his thumb gently caressing the back of her hand. "Of course I'll agree to it. And I believe that you are right in not naming him Severus. If nothing else, it will be bloody confusing later on in life."
Hermione chuckled at that and granted him a huge smile. He simply bowed his head in return and brought her hand up to his mouth to be able to give it a soft peck.
"The second thing I want to ask you, Severus, is much more direct and I will not prolong it unnecessarily; will you be Toby's godfather?"
"I... you... yes, of course," Severus said, quickly regaining his composure and then he quite abruptly got to his feet – he did not want Hermione to see that his eyes were tearing up – and with his back to back her, he wondered; "are you sure?"
Hermione let out a scoff, and when his eyes penetrating gaze met hers, she rolled her eyes.
"Of course I'm sure, Severus. I love you, you prat, and I know you love me too, even though you'll never admit that out loud. More importantly, I know that you've loved Toby long before he was born and I trust you with his life. Who else would be better suited to be his godfather?"
He didn't answer her, but she could almost swear she heard him mutter something about Black rolling in his grave.
"Severus, so help me..."
"Fine, I'll be godfather."
Hermione snorted and gave him a mischievous look.
"Of course you will be. You actually think you had a choice?"
"Now wait just a minute, Hermione, I am your teacher and..."
Hermione tuned him out, thoroughly enjoying their light and easy banter. For the first time in months, she finally felt as if she could relax. Her child had arrived and he had been named; she was a little surprised that Severus had agreed to Toby so quickly. However, now that he had agreed to being godfather she knew that she would never have to worry about her son if something were to happen to her. Now, if there only was a way for her to tell Harry that he had fathered a beautiful, little baby boy without anyone else finding out and without the possibility that Toby would be taken from her... Hermione sighed. That would be easier said than done.
AN: I know I keep saying this, but sorry for the long delay. At least school is over now. One less responsibility to worry about. PLEASE REVIEW. I always love to hear what you think.