Author Notes: Thank you to everyone who has commented, favourited, and followed. I'm making progress with this fic, which is good, because it should get finished now. I hope you've been enjoying it. I will be updating Lullaby soon, no doubt, along with writing one-shots here and there.
The door to the Delta Theta Nu house stood open when Maura arrived home. She hovered at the bottom of the steps, aware of the movement inside the house, and the ramifications if she walked in there with a cut on her cheek. A rumble of thunder travelled across the sky. When the heavens opened, Maura rushed into the house.
Standing in the doorway, her eyes darted from sister to sister to uniformed man with a dog. She narrowed her eyes and approached her second in command.
"What's going on, Ellen?" Maura asked.
"Random drug search," Ellen replied.
"I wasn't aware we were having one."
"It was in the last bulletin."
"I must have overlooked it," Maura said.
"What happened to you?"
"Nothing," she said, her eyes trained on the dog walking around the room, searching the premises for any narcotics.
"Doesn't look like nothing. If you need someone to come with you to the police station, we can arrange for it."
"I know." The uniformed man and dog moved towards the staircase. Her heart raced, her mind drifted up to the shoebox in her closet. "Are they checking every room?"
Ellen rolled her eyes. "You know they always do. Did whoever did that to you knock your understanding of policy out the window?"
"I'm tired," she said. "It's been a busy week."
She walked across the room toward the staircase, taking them two at a time. She hovered at the top of the stairs, until the uniformed man and dog disappeared into one of the bedrooms, then retrieved the box from her closet.
"What the hell are you doing, Maura?" she asked herself, turning around. She could hear the dog's bark across the hall. Her heart thrummed louder, vibrating against her eardrum. Another bedroom door opened and closed. Maura picked up a bag and shoved the shoebox into it, before lowering it carefully out of the window until it landed on the grass between the fence and the wall of the house.
Her bedroom door opened just after she'd closed her window. The man frowned. "You shouldn't be in here."
"I'm the president," Maura said, picking up some papers from her desk and forging a smile. "I had to get something for a meeting. I didn't have time to wait for you to be done."
"You alright there?" he asked, nodding at her face.
"I'm fine," she said, lowering her gaze and brushing her hair across her cheek.
"There's people who can help, you know, if your boyfriend gets angry."
"I know." She forged another smile and walked past him. "I have to go to my meeting now."
x
The gun in the shoebox in the trunk of her car weighed heavily on her mind, distracting her as she drove across town toward Jane's house. Her heart still raced, her body screamed at her to escape from her current situation. She couldn't. She had no way to avoid the cut on her face, or the gun sitting in the back of her car.
"What the hell, Maura?" Jane cupped her cheeks as soon as she'd opened the door, careful not to touch the cut. "What happened? You look like you've been roughed up."
"I'm okay," she said, lowering her gaze. She breathed in deeply, forcing oxygen into her lungs. Jane wrapped her arms around her shoulders and pulled her close, instantly settling her fragile nerves.
"You don't look okay. Talk to me."
"Not now."
Jane narrowed her eyes and rubbed the back of her hand across her uninjured cheek. "Okay."
"Is Frankie home?"
Jane sighed. "Not yet. Pop's gone looking for him."
"Do you want some help?"
"Nah. He's got some friends from work helping. I need to stay here with Tommy. D'you wanna come in?"
She'd never set foot inside the house before, Maura stared around at the lounge, at the warn furniture and the homely feel of pictures and childish artwork around the place. She picked up a clay pot, wonky and bent out of shape.
"Frankie made that when he was ten."
She returned it to its spot and picked up a photo of the whole family. "She was beautiful."
"She was."
Turning around, Maura slipped her hands around Jane's waist and pulled her into her arms. She felt the sting of tears on the edges of her eyelids, pushing past the need to cry. She clung to her, desperate to feel the comfort of her girlfriend's arms. Jane took a step back and cupped her cheeks again, capturing her lips. Maura deepened the embrace, her fingers danced across the waistline of Jane's pants, slipping them along sensitive skin. She trailed one up and under the edge of her shirt.
"No," Jane whispered, pushing her hands away. "Not here. Tommy's upstairs."
"I want you so much right now," Maura muttered, trailing her lips across her chin.
She stepped back, putting some distance between them. "I don't want to."
Ignoring her, Maura tugged at the hem of Jane's shirt and lifted it upwards. Jane pushed her hands away.
"I said, no, Maura. My mom died two days ago, I'm not in the fucking mood."
Maura took a step back, her eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry. I just…it's been a bad day."
"You and me both." Jane lowered her gaze, her eyes filled with tears. "Frankie drives me insane but I want him home."
"I know." Maura stepped forward again and scooped her up into her arms. She ran a hand across her back, holding her tightly. "I'm sorry everything's so difficult."
x
Cailin tugged at her sleeve. Maura absently stabbed a couple of green beans with her fork, purposefully ignoring the childish taunting of her little sister. She pushed the beans around her plate. The gun still weighed heavy in her mind, sitting in the trunk of her car like a flat tyre she hadn't found the time to take to the shop.
"How was your week, honey?"
Maura glanced up. Her mother stared at her from across the table, a smile plastered on her face.
"It was fine."
"Are you done with finals?"
"Yes."
"We thought we'd go away after graduation," Hope said. "Would you like to come with us?"
"Sure."
Cailin wrapped her arm around Maura's upper arm, her feet firmly on the floor. Maura turned to her, about to shout, but she stared up at Maura, curiosity housed in those tiny person eyes. Maura smiled and scooped her up, lifting her onto her lap.
"You look sad, Maura."
"Don't be so rude, Cailin," Hope said.
"But she does." She rested her little finger against Maura's cheek and caught a teardrop as it rolled down her face. Sometimes it was hard to believe the attentive little girl was three. "Why are you crying?"
"I'm sorry," Maura said, pushing Cailin off her lap and marching out of the room. She swallowed the lump in her throat, fighting the tears that welled up against her eyelids.
She closed her bedroom door behind her and threw herself onto the bed. She relished in the moment's peace, the quiet of her bedroom. At home, there was little distraction outside her room. At home, people left her alone if there was a small plumbing issue or a broken glass.
"Maura."
Hope tapped at her door. Maura wiped her cheeks with the corner of her pillow and glanced at her reflection in the mirror beside her bed. She spat onto her fingers and wiped at her red, blotchy cheeks, until they looked a little less dramatic. At home, someone always made sure she was okay.
"Come in," she said, sitting up with her hands clutched over her knees.
"What's going on?" Hope asked, perching on the edge of the bed and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "You've been in a weird mood for weeks now. I wasn't going to say anything, but I can't ignore it any longer."
"I'm fine," she muttered, laughing at how much like Jane she sounded.
Hope turned and placed a hand on each of her cheeks, holding her face steady. "My baby girl. You can talk to me. If this is about that boyfriend of yours. Did you get the cut on your face from him?"
Maura pressed a finger to the small cut, still healing. She lowered her gaze. "I've not been with him for a while. It's not his fault."
"Then what happened?"
She sighed, knowing she had to be honest. She was the only person who understood.
"Patrick."
The hands dropped from Maura's cheeks. Hope stood up, her eyes burning with anger. She shook her head, her mouth agape as she tried to speak.
"It's okay," Maura said.
"It is not okay, Maura." Hope paced back and forth, continuing to shake her head. "That man has a lot to answer for. I think him and I need to have words."
"Please, don't." She slouched down in her spot on the bed. "He won't pay for medical school if I don't listen to him."
"So he's blackmailing you?"
"You say that like you've never met him," Maura said. "You don't know what it's like for him right now. He's under a lot of pressure."
"That is no excuse for hitting his own daughter. None."
"Just let me handle this, please." Maura reached out and tugged at her mother's sleeve, pulling her back toward her. Hope sat back down beside her and enveloped her into her arms. Maura sunk against her side. "I have a girlfriend."
"What's her name?"
"Jane." Maura wiped at fresh tears with her palm.
"Is she nice?"
"She's amazing," Maura said, her face lit up. "I've never felt this way about anyone."
Hope cupped her face again, wiping away the last of her tears. She leaned in close. "You'll have to invite her over for dinner, next weekend?"
"I'll ask."
x
"Frankie's home."
Jane lay on her bed, the phone pressed against her ear, recent tears dried against her cheeks. She closed her eyes and listened to the slow, methodical sound of Maura's breath on the other end of the line.
"I'm so glad."
"Me too." She tapped her foot against the end of the bed. "Pop's giving him hell, but I know he's glad. We didn't want him to miss the funeral."
"When is it again?"
"Tomorrow at twelve."
"I'll be there."
"Are you sure?" Jane felt a couple of tears stroll down the sides of her face, one landed in her ear. She wiped at it with her knuckle. "I know you've got a lot going on."
"I wouldn't miss this for anything, Jane."
She tried to swallow, but the threat of more tears ached in her throat. "Thank you."
x
The service was harder than Maura expected it to be. She clutched Jane's hand from the moment they sat down right through to the end, despite her father's warning glares, and the judgemental comments of Jane's aunts behind them.
"Jane, time to thank everyone for coming," Frank Rizzoli Senior said.
Jane nodded, pulling Maura along behind her.
"Not her."
"But," Jane tried to say, but he cut her off before she could finish.
"Not for this."
"Okay," Jane said, glancing apologetically before following her father and brothers out into the entranceway.
Maura hung back, watching them say their thank yous to the mourners. She listened to the respectful words they all shared. The fake smile that Jane plastered on her face when one of her aunts kissed her cheek. Maura waited until the last of the mourners had left the church before approaching the family.
"I'm so sorry for your loss," she said, feeling a level of guilt she hoped she could disguise. She hugged Tommy, whom she had come to care about in the days they'd spent waiting at home while Frank searched for the eldest Rizzoli boy. She placed a hand on Frankie's shoulder. "I'm glad you made it home in time."
"Whatever," he said, shrugging her hand away. Maura lowered her gaze, knowing that the enlarged pupils were a sign that his time away, nor his mother's death, had curbed his drug use.
She stepped across to his father, and held out a hand. "Thank you for allowing me to support Jane. I'm so sorry."
He stared down at her hand, then across to Jane. Maura followed his gaze. Her heart ached at the look of expectation, and hope, lingering in her eyes. He forged a smile, not unlike Jane's, and took her hand.
"Thank you for coming."