Lost in Translation

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

A/N-thank you for the kind reviews. Nikki

Part Nine-The Letter

Billy was buried in the traditional way. The whole reservation attended the burial of their beloved chieftain. Afterwards Bella could only remember vague details of the ceremony. Her whole focus had been on Jacob and her father. She was intensely worried about both of them. Her father had become practically mute since Billy's death. He seemed to be holding his grief inside. Bella wasn't even sure that Charlie had cried once. Even during the funeral he hid his emotions behind a stoical mask. While everyone else was crying, Charlie had a face of stone.

Bella was deeply concerned about Jacob too. He refused to take a quiet moment to process his loss. He threw himself into arrangements for the funeral, closeting himself with the elders and when he wasn't with the old men, he was out running with the pack, taking on longer and longer patrols. Bella had begged Sam and Leah to keep an eye on Jacob, but they reported back to her that he seemed to have shut down. Even his thoughts when he was phased were entirely focused on patrolling schedules or other inane information. Sam confessed it had been an old tactic he had used when he had imprinted on Emily and needed a way to keep his emotions hidden from his brothers.

The day had seemed long and by the end Bella had been exhausted. She hadn't been able to be by Jacob's side as he had duties to fulfil. He stood with the elders of the tribe as they paid tribute to Billy as a beloved chieftain, and a proud father of three children. Old Quil, who seemed to have the weight of the world on his shoulders, took the stand dressed in the tribe's traditional clothing, and began to speak in Quileute. Bella didn't understand what he was saying, but by the saddened looks on the other mourner's faces and the quiet sobbing she heard from some of them, it was heartfelt and deeply emotional. Then Jacob had stepped up. With his dark eyes glistening with unshed tears he had delivered an emotional speech about the man he was proud to have called his father. He then, to Bella's surprise, began to sing a song in his own language. She had never heard Jacob sing before and she was captivated by the deep rich tones of his voice. One by one the other elder's joined in, followed by the pack. By the end Bella's face was awash with tears, and so was many others. But when she glanced at her father, Charlie looked unmoved.

The twins Rebecca and Rachel had returned to the house which they had grown up in. Rebecca had brought her husband Solomon with her. He only spoke a few words of English so was unable to really interact with anyone. Rebecca too seemed distant from the place she had once called home. She gave obligatory answers whenever anyone spoke to her, but other than that she remained by her husband's side. She hardly took notice of her brother, and for this Bella took an immediate dislike to her.

Rachel on the other hand threw herself at Jacob as soon as she arrived home. She was in floods of tears and wouldn't be consoled. She insisted she wanted to know why Billy had been left alone without anyone to care for him. Jacob took her insinuations to heart; Bella could see he was deeply wounded by Rachel's words. She knew he was feeling guilty about not being there at the time. The very fact that they had both decided at the last minute to stay over in the motel, leaving only Sue to check on Billy once the next morning, made them both feel at fault. Although, as others reasonably pointed, out Billy could have had his heart attack when Jacob was on patrol or out shopping or working in the garage. Billy managed on his own fairly well most of the time, and didn't need someone at his beck and call every minute of the day. But it didn't stop the niggling doubts creeping in that if they had just come home instead of stopping, then Jacob may have noticed the signs that his father wasn't feeling his best.

It was with relief when the last of the mourners finally left the house. Rebecca and her husband left to go and stay in a motel, while Rachel went to stay with Sue and her family. She said she couldn't sleep in the same house her father had died alone and helpless. She had shot Jacob a resentful glare when she had said this barbed remark, and Bella had to keep her hands firmly by her sides in case she slapped Rachel. Leah could sense the tension and she had steered Rachel out of the house before she could say anymore.

Charlie was sitting outside alone drinking. He had a case of beer next to him and seemed determined to drink himself into a stupor. Bella didn't know which way to turn. She was torn between comforting her dad and comforting Jacob. She wished she could split herself in two, but that wasn't possible. She had to make a choice, and as much as it hurt her, she had to make Jacob her priority. She had let him down too often in the past not to put him first.

"Hey." Bella sat beside him. Jacob was sitting on the couch, a letter in his hands. He was twirling the envelope over and over between his fingers, his eyes riveted to it, as if he opened it, it would explode like some kind of incendiary bomb. She put her hands over his stop his movement. "Jake? Talk to me?"

"What is there to say, Bella?" Jacob replied bitterly. "He's dead. As far as my sisters are concerned my neglect more or less killed him."

"Your sisters should take a look at themselves before they go chucking any accusations around. Where the hell have they been for the last god knows how many years?" Bella was livid. How dare they try and make Jacob feel guilty for something that wasn't his fault? He had been Billy's carer for years while his so called sisters swanned off to get married and go to college. They had hardly bothered to come home and visit, especially in Rebecca's case. They rarely phoned. They were selfish, completely self-absorbed. Bella was infuriated, but she had to keep calm. Jacob didn't need to hear her thoughts about his siblings. They were still his family despite everything. "I'm sorry, Jake. I just mean that what happened to Billy was not your fault. You cared for him and saw to his every need. He was well looked after and happy. He loved you, Jake. He was so proud of you. I heard Billy telling my dad so many times. It was just something that happened. Please don't blame yourself."

"If I hadn't suggested taking that room…" Jacob put his head in his hands, dropping the letter onto the floor as he did so.

Bella picked it up and looked at it curiously. It had Jacob's name scrawled across the front in shaky writing. She rubbed Jacob's back absently as she stared at it. Was this Billy's writing? Bella pulled at Jacob's hands until they fell away from his face. "Listen to me, okay. We were both complicit in deciding to stay over. And before you protest, we deserved some time alone. And no you didn't leave Billy in the lurch. You made arrangements for him to be checked on overnight and the next day. Sue did her best. When she checked on Billy in the morning he seemed a little tired, but okay. It was a heart attack, Jake. It was sudden and couldn't have been foreseen. So stop beating yourself up about taking one damn moment for yourself to have a bit of pleasure. I loved that time with you and never want to have the memory tainted with regrets. Do you hear? Billy wouldn't want that with either." She declared passionately.

Tears spilled out of Jacob's eyes at her words. Bella put her arms around him as best she could and hugged him close to her body as he cried silently. His whole body shook with the force of his tears, and he gripped her back tightly, nearly stealing the breath from her body as he held onto the only thing he had left that made his life worth living.

Jacob's tears were cathartic. He had been trying so hard to remain strong and focused on giving his father a good send off, that he hadn't given himself time to just let out his grief. Afterwards he felt extremely tired but a lot calmer. He pulled Bella onto his lap and hugged her, running his fingers through her hair as he opened up about Billy, and how much he was going to miss him. They talked for a long time, sharing memories of the man they both loved and deeply respected.

"Did your dad write this?" Bella asked as she finally brought up the letter. She held it out to Jacob and he took it, once again twirling the envelope agitatedly through his fingers. Bella put her hand over his again. "Do you want me to open it?"

Jacob nodded and handed it back to her. "I'm scared about what is inside. Old Quil gave it to me after the funeral. Apparently my dad wrote it a few weeks ago and asked Old Quil to pass it on to me if anything happened." His words were full of meaning and Bella raised her eyebrows in surprise. Had Billy had an omen that something was going to happen to him? She didn't say anything but just tore the envelope open and took out the letter inside. Something else also fell out. Bella was shocked to see a ring set with a tiny diamond fall into the palm of her hand. "That's my mom's ring." Jacob said in awe as he took it from her and held it up to the light.

"Do you want me to read the letter?" Bella asked quietly as Jacob continued to study the ring. It looked so small and delicate in his large hand.

"Yes, please." He tugged Bella closer and she lay against his chest as she held the letter up in front of her.

Jake,

I feel the need to write this. Something tells me I'm not going to be here for much longer. My bones have been aching abominably the last few weeks, and I find myself drifting further and further away from the here and now, and thinking about the past. I've been dreaming about your mother a lot of late. I see her beautiful face as soon as I close my eyes at night, and I can see she is trying to tell me something, although I cannot hear her words.

Every day that passes I miss her more and more, and I just long to be with her. I feel that my job is now done. I look at you and see a strong, vital, amazing young man, a leader among men. You have taken up your birth right, and I couldn't have been more proud than the day you swore an oath in front of the elders that you would uphold our laws and protect the tribe. I could sense your mother was right there with us son. I felt I could almost see her if I closed my eyes and reached out to touch her.

The love I see you have for Bella reminds me of the love that your mother and I shared. Bella shares many of the same traits as Sarah. She is loving, selfless and fiercely loyal. I can see by the way she looks at you that she adores you very much. Enclosed is the ring that I gave to Sarah when I asked her to marry me. I have kept it all these years to hand on to you. I know that you want to marry Bella, and when the time feels right to you, I want you to use your mothers ring. Call it the wish of a foolish old man. I would like to see it passed on to the next generation.

I love you, Jake. I will always be with you in your heart and in your memories.

Love,

Dad

Bella stopped reading and turned to look at Jacob. Like her his eyes were wet with tears. It seemed that Billy had an inkling that his time was coming to an end, and he had written these last words as a way to assure his son that he was at peace with it. Bella was so thankful that Billy had put pen to paper. He had been able to do something she could not. He had given Jacob the peace that he was craving.

Jacob held the ring between his fingers and gazed at Bella with such love in his eyes that it made a lump come into her throat. "We can't let the old man down, honey. You heard him." He paused for a moment as he took her left hand and gently squeezed it. "Marry me?"

Bella burst into more tears. Her throat felt so tight that she couldn't speak. Instead she nodded her head. He grinned at her; it lit up his whole face as he gently put his mother's ring on Bella's finger and then hugged her so tight that the breath was stolen from her body.

A/N-thanks for reading!