Two Tails:Is standing behind Rose cracking a whips: Shh she's working here people!
Rose: Put that thing away. You're cracking it doesn't make my fingers move any faster.
Two-Tails: But it's fun.
Rose: Then go get a job at the circus since you forgot to do my disclaimer again.
Two-Tails: Dis - what?
Rose: You know that thing where you tell them I don't actually get paid for this.
Two-Tails: You don't? Then how are you gonna pay me?
Rose: (Anime Sweatdrop) I don't own Naruto folks but unfortunately I have to claim Two-Tails. (Runs off crying)
Chapter Ten
A Day Off
After dinner at Ichiraku's with Iruka, Naruto had gone home and cleaned his apartment. Then he had hit the shower and washed as much of the dirt from his clothes and himself as he could. He hung his jumpsuit over the shower rod to dry and tidied the bathroom before heading to his small, sparsely decorated bedroom.He flipped on the small light on his rickety bedside table and pulled his journal from it's hiding spot behind his headboard and began to write. He didn't write about the destruction he caused or even how angry he'd gotten. Even in his journal he couldn't bring himself to show his negative emotions. Instead his journal entries were more like one-sided conversations with the Fourth
This burden I bear has grown so heavy. I long to rest; To just set it down but how can I when you trusted me to carry it forever; To keep it locked away for all my days. Rest. . . how nice that would be but I know I can't cause if I rest he might break free and you're trust will have been misplaced. I can't let you down even though I never knew who you were. I wish I had. Then I might understand. But like so many other things I know I never will. I'll just keep going one day at a time carrying this burden that is too heavy to bear trusting that you knew what you were doing when you gave it to me.
Sometimes I think the villagers are right. I am a demon. But then I see my reflection and know I'm not. Not yet. I'm still human but I wonder for how much longer. It's getting harder to resist. Harder not to listen. And Kami help me when I do listen I can see his side of things. And I can't help but think that's bad. He's evil. That's what I've always been told but yet. . .he's good to me most of the time. I know it just might be self-preservation on his part but when I'm hurt it's him who heals me. When people try to poison me it's he who gets rid of it before I can take an injury and when I fight and I run out of chakra he gives me his. If this was all he did for me then yeah it'd just be self-preservation but it isn't.
He talks to me also when I'm bored. He tells me what to read to learn more than I know and when I have a problem he helps me work it through. When I hurt he tries to take my pain away. Isn't that something a parent would do? I know I should hate him. All the villagers say so but how do you hate the one who cares for you? How do you hate the only one who ever did when you know there's no one else who will step in and fill that role?
Naruto set the pen down and allowed the scroll to roll itself up before he shut off his bedside light and laid down on his bed. It was about two o'clock in the morning and he really should have been asleep hours ago but although he was tired from his training, he made it a point to write something in his journal every chance he got. Who knew how his life would turn out or when it might end. Someday there might be someone who would care to read what he had thought of his own life. Probably not but one never knew. And he knew better than most that nothing was impossible. After all, he had thought it was impossible for Sakura to reach a point where she didn't see him as her personal punching bag any more but she seemed to have. At least she hadn't hit him for the last couple of days no matter what silly and foolish thing he had said so it was possible that someone else might actually think he'd had some worthwhile thoughts.
He drifted into sleep and tried to dream of nice things but of course his burden had definite ideas about what was appropriate for him to dream about. Bloodshed and more bloodshed. As gruesome as only the Fox could make it and each bloody object was clearly defined as a person with a leaf forehead protector. Most commonly it was Tsunade who laid in the midst of all the bloodshed. The Fox wanted to destroy the Leaf and he tried every night to influence his host enough to cause him to go on a rampage against his enemies. In his dreams whoever had been mean to him that day or who had done something to anger him was featured in his dreams. So even though he was supposed to be resting and recharging his body he wasn't. He fought the Fox and just because it was a mental battle didn't mean it was any less taxing on him than if it had been a physical battle. The only physical evidence of this battle that took place every night were the expressions on his face and the times when he tensed and tossed around in his bed. But since he lived alone no one was witness to the struggle. And Naruto was so used to it that he didn't bother to talk of it any more. In fact he tried his best just to forget the dream battles entirely. Except for the fact that he delayed going to bed for as long as he could and would awaken within a few short hours of falling asleep, even he didn't give any acknowledgment to his nightly terrors. He ignored the dark shadows that were growing under his eyes.
He awoke at five in the morning and vainly tried to go back to sleep but the dream had been especially vivid and as angry as he had been at Tsunade he really hadn't liked seeing her die over and over again. After a few minutes he gave up and went to get his morning shower. He pulled his still damp jumpsuit on and by five thirty he was at the practice field working out with his bushins. He was practicing his genjutsus with about twenty of them on the left side of the clearing and his taijutsu with another twenty in the center of the field. Ten were trying to see if there was a way to improve his rasengan at the back of the field while another ten were trying to improve and modify the earth control moves Jiraiya had finally made it possible for him to learn. Sixty bushins weren't a lot for him on a normal day but today he was too tired to summon any more of them. He spent about four hours practicing his moves before he noticed the town had awakened and people were beginning to move about on the streets of Konoha. He was tired and more than a little bit hungry and so decided to make his way home for breakfast. Gama-chan was too empty to afford a trip to Ichiraku's.
Once back in his run-down but clean apartment he set a pan on to boil and went to take another shower. Back in his trusty jumpsuit with a fresh t-shirt, he headed into his kitchen where he made his ramen. The three min wait for it to be ready to eat was annoyingly connected to an impatient stomach that just flat out didn't care about having to prepare food before ingesting it. Finally it was done and Naruto inhaled the small cup of noodle heaven. Only as he was throwing the disposable cup into the garbage can did he realize he'd burnt his tongue. . .again. Sighing he got a glass of cool water and drank it to ease the sting. Then he pondered what to do with the rest of his day. Sakura had to do her shift at the hospital and then she'd be training with the Hokage so bugging her was out of the question. Kakashi was gone on a mission with some other jounins so he couldn't be bothered either. Iruka was teaching and although he knew Iruka wouldn't say anything against it he really didn't like for Naruto to show up while school was in session. He just couldn't get over needing to worry about Naruto's safety while he was on the academy grounds. So that didn't leave anyone except the Hokage herself and Sasuke but Naruto wasn't in the mood to bother either of them today. Sasuke would only provoke a fight which he really didn't have the energy for and Tsunade would be annoying with her questions of when he was going to meet with her friend.
Instead he picked up his guitar and plucked the strings as quietly as he could. Still one of his neighbors pounded on the wall. What was he doing home today anyway? Why wasn't he at work already? He glared in that direction and decided to just go somewhere else to play for a bit.
So he tucked his journal into an inside pocket of his jacket and a couple of seconds later he was in the cave he'd found behind a waterfall in a secluded spot in Konoha. Konoha had a lot of hidden secluded spots but this was Naruto's favorite spot.
When he had decided to use this cave as his get-away spot he had rummaged through a lot of dumpsters to find enough furniture to outfit it comfortably. He had found an old futon and a small table with a matching stool. The stool was a low one once he trimmed the legs to an even height but it was perfect for sitting close to the small fire in the center of the cave. He also had a rod suspended from the back wall of the cave with an extra jumpsuit and a couple of t-shirts hanging from it. The Fox had shown him a sealing jutsu so he could block prying eyes and moisture from his cave and he left the cave sealed every time he came here so noone else would find his shelter. Now he sat down on the small stool and positioned his guitar comfortably.
In this cave, he dropped the happy mask he wore in the village or anywhere normal people could see him. In this cave he could remember who he really was. He'd made a deal with himself never to be false when he was here in the cave. Surrounded by the things that truly reflected who he was he couldn't be someone else even if he'd wanted to. And so he played his guitar and sang along using his true voice. As he sang, he peered through the waterfall at the Hokage mountain studying the face he saw there. The song he sang had no title because Naruto hadn't bothered to give it one.
Verse one
They say the greatest hero is someone you never know until they're gone.
No matter that you've known their name for years
Their sacrifice you'll never see until they're gone
and it's too late to say thank-you
And I guess that's true
cause I never knew you at all
and yet your sacrifice is something I see
all too clearly
cause your sacrifice was me.
chorus
You sacrificed me
and it made you a hero
to all of them
cause in doing that
you gave your life
verse two
You are my greatest hero, someone I never knew thanks to the path you chose
But your name is one I've always known
and your sacrifice is my burden to carry
until I too shall pass away
I'm not a hero
cause I never had the choice
to make this sacrifice everyone can see
including me
But what did you leave for me.
Chorus
You sacrificed me
and it made you a hero
to all of them
cause in doing that
you gave your life
verse three
The path that you chose left me alone without a hope and only lonely tears
to try and live my life as you would wish
carrying this burden you handed to me
until I can finally find peace.
I'll never be the hero
but I can't say that I mind.
One sacrifice in a lifetime is enough to bear
Too bad they can't see
The prize you left for me.
Chorus
You sacrificed me
and it made you a hero
to all of them
cause in doing that
you gave your life.
And mine too. . .
Mine too. . .
His playing trailed away a few moments later. He just sat cradling his guitar as the tears he rarely showed flowed over his cheeks and dripped onto the bright orange material of his jacket. Unknown to him someone had heard him. The jutsu he used to hide the cave wasn't sound-proof and someone else who had need of this kind of shelter had found it not long after he had.
Hinata sat outside the cave on the grassy bank of the waterfall pond and let her tears fall at the loneliness and despair she had heard in his song. Of course she knew who it was. She had followed him here more than once. To her, his song wasn't true at all. He was a hero. Her hero and he always had been. Not everyone was too blind to see how wonderful he really was and while becoming a hero might be about the choices one makes, she knew he made those choices every day. She wondered if she'd ever find the courage to tell him how wrong he was. She didn't know but maybe someday. For now she'd just sit and wait for another song. His voice was wonderfully deep and melodic. She made herself comfortable and closed her eyes listening to the tinkle of the waterfall as it splashed it's way into the pool. It wasn't long before he began to play again and she fell asleep listening to how the music and his voice blended with the tinkling of the water.
Inside the cave Naruto closed his eyes and just let his hands take control. When he played the guitar even the Fox settled down and became calmer. It seemed the demon liked music especially when it was just music. How long he sat and played he couldn't say but when he finally stopped it was dark outside. He fell to his side on the futon, knowing the Fox would let him rest tonight. After all he'd given the monster several hours worth of quality music to enjoy.
Author Notes: As always let me know what you think.
Two Tails: Awh slight Naru/Hina Fluff! Yatta!