December 17, 2005
I love him. I do, it's obvious. And if he was trying to hide that he loves me, he blew it with the teapot gesture. I have wanted one of those for so long so I could make tea for my desk… I've never really said "Hey, Jim, I really want a teapot." I've hinted at it once or twice though… Anyway, not only did Jim draw my name for Secret Santa and get me the amazing teapot, but the gifts inside… Oh my gosh… Filled to the rim with inside jokes. Like the yearbook picture… And hot sauce packets… And wow, if I could only describe how much those meant to me…
I was an idiot at first. Why would I ever want an iPod when I could have anything from Jim… I think I'd rather have hot sauce, by itself, than an iPod if it came from Jim. He's just so thoughtful… I could see the panic in his face when the gift passed, and the sadness seemed to overwhelm him when I picked the iPod… Right as I did, I knew I'd made the wrong decision… Jim over an iPod… Duh, Pam.
And here's the ridiculous part. I was going to pick the iPod over a man that probably spent hours on my present. Plus, Roy was going to get me an iPod for Christmas anyway. Now he's just getting me a sweater. He's very thoughtful too.
The more I think of Jim, the more I wonder about this wedding… But I won't let myself wonder about it. This is my life. Jim is just my best friend. He's all I ever wanted in a best friend. I'm sticking with that. Roy is my fiancé.
Yankee Swap sucks.
Oh, but Dwight and I are developing a bit of a friendship… He traded the teapot for my iPod… At first he wasn't going to, but then he looked at me and I guess he could tell the whole thing about Jim… So he did. He's not as bad as he used to be… He's growing on me… but not like Jim is.
Um, I'm excited about Christmas. I got Roy some sports jacket he really wanted and a few other things… I didn't get Jim anything. I want to. Desperately… I just don't know what to get him. It needs to be special, and perfect… And I don't know what that could be. Maybe I'll make him a mixed CD.
Ooh, yeah, that's what I'm going to do… I'll try and remember to write the playlist in here during my next entry…
Word of the Day
adoration(ad-door-ay-shun)-A feeling of immense love for someone, or something they do. The idea that one is so high on your list of amazing that they'll never come back down.
Sentence: Jim commands all my adoration.
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