Disclaimer: I do not own the Sons of Anarchy.

A/N: This is a short chapter, but it's heavy on character development and deals with a pivotal turning point in Jax and Jolene's relationship. It also contains some spoilers regarding events that happened in Charming's Worst Kept Secret and the prequel He Just Doesn't Know It Yet.

The response to the last chapter was really overwhelming and surprising. To show my gratitude and as a special treat, I'm posting this chapter early. Hopefully it will inspire the same feedback. If you read, please review and let me know what you think. As always, thanks for reading. Enjoy!

It was getting late. Well, not really as it was only a little past 10:00 p.m. on a Friday night. With her father in the hospital, however, and Church having been held earlier in the morning, Jolene had expected Jax home hours ago, especially since after-Church festivities had been postponed until further notice. The last time she had seen her husband had been when they had crossed paths at the hospital. Jolene was on her way to the garage to cover for Uncle Elvis during Church, as Jax and the rest of the Club had arrived for the meeting.

Even though Filthy Phil, as requested by Jax, had dropped in several times throughout the afternoon and evening to check on her, it wasn't like Jax to go an entire day without at least calling. After catching herself Swiffering the hardwood floors for the third time today, Jolene realized that she really needed to calm down and relax. Now, lying on her bed, Jolene stared up at the ceiling, fighting the temptation to look at her watch again.

Rolling up into a sitting position, she laid her hand on her flat tummy. "My little peanut," She spoke softly to the tiny being in her belly. "I'm sure you can probably sense my nervous anxiety and I'm sorry, but I have a lot of crap to unload on your daddy tonight and I'm not quite sure how he's gonna take it."

Jolene knew that bearing her soul and finally coming clean to her old man wasn't going to be easy. She got overwrought with emotion whenever she tried to put into words the things she had to tell him. Truth was, Jolene felt she had betrayed the promise she had made with Jax during their reunion in Chino almost 11 months ago. Jax, desperate to make things work between them the second time around, wanted to start over with a clean slate. Getting over and forgiving past mistakes and indiscretions and divulging any and all secrets was the only way they could move on with their future. But now it was clear to Jolene that she had reneged on that promise from the get as there had been some things she decided that, after everything they had already been through, were not necessary to disclose.

She had been epically wrong.

The past was never really dead. The information she had on Stahl was proof of that and now with that psycho bitch loose in Charming, Jax and his brothers needed whatever information she had that would not only shed light on the ATF's real reasons for breathing down their necks, but that would protect them as well. Even though Jolene was sure that going behind the Club's back to take out Pretty Ricky would put Clay in SAMCRO's crosshairs, Jolene was prepared to plead her father's case to her old man because she couldn't let Jax operate in the dark.

So here she was, waiting for Jax to come home, knowing that what she had to say could destroy what they had worked so hard to rebuild and praying for the strength to say it anyway.

She is so beautiful.

Jax stood in the open doorway and watched his old lady while she slept. He was really glad that Donna had been able to convince Jolene to let Little Man spend the night with Kenny and Ellie. It was so obvious that his old lady was running on empty, between her shifts at the hospital and covering the office at T-M, and he knew that sleeping in on a Saturday would be a real treat she probably hasn't enjoyed in years.

Jax quietly walked into the master bathroom, stripped and took a quick shower. As the water cascaded over him, he thought about Clay's unexpected proposal. The Club has been Jax's life even before he had prospected at seventeen. Having had two fathers who had served as President had naturally created a desire within Jax to hopefully earn that privilege himself one day, but he had never expected his ascent to the head of the table to happen this quickly.

Now that the moment was at hand, Jax could only hope that he had acquired all the experience and skills he needed to effectively lead the Club. Granted, it was only a temporary situation until Clay recovered from his accident and was capable of riding again. Still, the thought that the burden of leading SAMCRO, as well as the other charters as National President rested on his shoulders, was a little terrifying. As only the third and youngest President of the Sons, Jax knew that much was expected from him. His life, already centered on the Club, would soon be consumed by it and Jax knew he was a lucky man to have an old lady like Jolene by his side. Always his biggest cheerleader and greatest supporter, it was almost like Jolene had been grooming him for this moment even before she was truly his.

He just had to break the news to her first.

Jax had no doubt that Jolene would support him 100%, but he also knew that someone as loving and loyal as Jolene would be torn between her happiness for her old man and sadness for her father. After coming so close to losing her dad, she was bound to be devastated by the news that he was resigning as leader of the Club he loved so much and handing the gavel over to someone else, even if it was her own husband.

Turning off the shower and wrapping a towel around his waist, Jax hoped to slip into bed without waking his old lady, but was surprised to see her sitting up and wide awake when he returned to their room.

"Hey, darlin'. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay. I was hoping to stay awake, but I fell asleep."

Sitting down next to her, Jax reached out to push several stray locks of hair out of her eyes. "I'm starting to sound like a broken record, Jo, but you really need to slow down, darlin'. You're doing too much and working too hard," Jax started, but his wife interrupted.

"I'm doing what I need to do for my family, baby, and nothing is going to keep me from doing it." Drawing back, Jolene looked into her husband's face. "So tell me, how's Dad doing? I didn't get a chance to go back to the hospital today and when I spoke to him on the phone earlier, I got the feeling he was avoiding telling me about his meet with Dr. Wallace."

Oh, man. Jolene is getting as good as Ma with her bullshit detecting skills. Well, here it goes.

"He was in pretty good spirits, but you're right, babe. He may have been avoiding a discussion of his talk with Dr. Wallace."

Jolene sat straight up. "I knew it. Why? What's wrong?"

Jax shook his head slightly and smiled reassuringly. "Your dad's fine. He's recovering at a steady pace from his surgery and he's gonna heal. It's just gonna take a little longer than he originally expected. Full recovery may take a year, maybe more."

Oh shit!

Jolene's heart sank in her chest, wishing her father had discussed his prognosis with her so she could gauge his feelings herself. "How's he taking it?"

"He seems pretty resigned to it." Jax started, looking Jolene directly in the eyes. "Enough, at any rate, to recommend that I take over as Acting President until he recovers."

Jolene's eyes widened and then sparkled at the news. "Oh my God, baby! That's fantastic!" She bubbled over as she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him fiercely. Suddenly remembering what this meant to her father, Jolene pulled back from their embrace. Just like he knew she would, Jolene looked torn. "I don't mean it's fantastic like, 'Great! Dad's too fucked up to lead! Yay!' You know how I mean it, right?" She asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I do, babe." Jax leaned in and kissed her, her arms wrapping themselves around his neck again.

Pulling back, Jolene held his face in her hands. "I'm so proud of you, Jax. JT would be so proud, too. You deserve this. You've earned it." She was beaming at him, so much so, that Jax couldn't help but smile back.

For the first time since Clay had made his announcement and nominated Jax to take over his position, Jax allowed himself to feel happy about this turn of events. He loved the Club. The Club was a big part of his life, but Jolene was his life. Although he never doubted her support, the sense of relief he felt by her reaction was overwhelming. It meant a lot to know that his old lady had his back, especially since he didn't know for sure how the other charters would react to the news.

"Thanks, darlin'. Nothing means more to me right now than knowing I have your support." Jax grabbed fistfuls of her hair, gently pulling her in and kissing her forehead. "The timing's a little off, though. Here I was, hoping to spend the summer focusing on you and our growing family . . . Don't get me wrong, Jo. Leading my Club is a privilege and an honor. I'm just gonna have to find a way to balance my responsibilities to my family and SAMCRO."

"And I know you will." Jolene assured him, but as Jax looked into her seafoam green eyes, he could see that something else was now troubling her.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

Jolene sighed and it came out as a shudder, sending shivers down her spine. "We need to talk, Jax."

Clear blue eyes stared intently at his woman. "Are you all right? Is something wrong with the baby?" Jax almost whispered.

"No, not at all. Lil' Peanut is just fine. I promise, I'm doing my best to not overdo anything and I'm strictly following the doctor's instructions, so don't worry, okay?"

God, how do I start this?

Jolene decided to just jump n. "We need to talk about Stahl." As her husband looked at her blankly, Jolene continued. "The plan was to talk to you as soon as we got home from the bike rally, but that plan went down the shitter after what happened. After things started to settle down, it just never seemed like the right time."

"Talk to me about what?" Jax asked, his eyes suddenly darkening and his nostrils flaring. "That fuckin' gash giving you a hard time again? I'll snap her like a twig, Jo, I swear."

Jolene reached up and caressed his cheek. "Baby, I've a lot to tell you and the fact is you're probably not going to like some of it." She reached up to kiss him tenderly on the lips. "No, actually, I know you won't like any of it, but I need you to let me get it all out, okay?"

Jax could feel his heart rapidly beating in his chest. Obviously, whatever his old lady was going to tell him was going to be difficult. Rubbing the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb, he took a deep breath. "Just tell me."

Jolene swallowed the lump in her throat. "The night Stahl spent interrogating me, she didn't just question me about the shooting and Kyle Hobart. Somehow, Stahl managed to dig up some dirt about me and my time with Valentina in Seattle."

WTF?

"You mean what happened in Lodi? How, because of me, you ended up with your piece of shit egg donor? That's ancient history, Jo."

Jolene nodded. "That's only part of the shit she tried to use against me. Something happened in Seattle and she tried to connect the dots in her theory that the Club was somehow involved in what happened as a result with the shooting years later and Kyle falling off the grid." Jolene's voice trembled slightly as she continued. "I never told anyone, but Dad. I made him promise not to tell anyone, ever. Part of me knew that you would blame yourself if you ever found out, and that would have been so unfair because it wasn't your fault. The other part of me was ashamed and afraid that no one would ever believe the daughter of a known whore. It was just easier for me to forget that it happened at all."

Jolene sighed and swiped at her tears, feeling the guilt of her own selfishness. "I don't think I can even look you in the face." She said almost to herself.

"Yes, you can, baby. Look at me." Jax gently nudged her chin up. "I'm not going anywhere, Jo."

Feeling empowered by the determined look on his face, Jolene took a deep breath. "When I came back from Seattle, you remember the bruises on my face?"

Jax nodded, not trusting himself to speak. The memory of the joy he had felt seeing her again quickly turning to rage at the sight of the bruising on her beautiful face.

"Do you remember what you said you would do after you saw the bruises?"

"Like it was yesterday." Jax replied softly.

Just give me a name, darlin' and I'll take care of it.

With their eyes locked on each other, Jolene reached for Jax's hands. Clutching them as if she could somehow stop him if he'd try pulling away from her after hearing what she had to say next, Jolene almost broke into tears again as he squeezed her hands reassuringly.

"On the day I came back to Charming, I was alone in the apartment, or so I thought, but the egg donor's pimp was there too. He managed to catch me off guard and tried to rape me. I fought back, but that only pissed him off and he beat me within an inch of submission. I managed to get away, made it down the fire escape, and I didn't stop running until I ran into your arms at the airport."

Stopping to take several deep breaths, Jolene could see that even though his jaw was clenched tight, his eyes were soft, almost moist.

"I only ever told Dad. He went to Seattle and when he returned, he told me that I would never have to worry about that scumbag again. I'm not naïve, not even back then. I knew he had gone to Seattle to kill him and I knew he needed help and probably used the Club to do it without taking it to the table because I swore him to secrecy. That secret of what happened should have died with that scumbag, but when Stahl went to see her, the egg donor, who has apparently cleaned up, spilled her guts about the attempted rape." Jolene started shaking her head. "It's not my Dad's fault, Jax. It's mine. Just me. And I know that when we got back together we promised to start over with a clean slate, but I truly didn't think this shit from 8 years ago could affect us, so I said nothing. I'm so sorry."

With his jaw still clenched, Jax seemed to be struggling to contain the words that were burning his tongue. He cupped his hands around the love of his life's face and gently used his thumbs to wipe the tracks of her tears away.

And then he said something that completely shattered her world.

"After stabbing him with that shard of glass, darlin', you should have sliced Pretty Ricky's fuckin' balls off."

The moment that the fog of rage cleared from his mind, Jax couldn't believe he had spoken those words out loud. But all he needed as confirmation that he had was the look of utter devastation on Jolene's face. With his heart pounding in his chest, it took Jax almost half a minute to realize that she was pulling away from him, slowly inching back, ready to jump off the bed on the other side and run out the door.

"No, Jo." Jax almost pleaded as he went to hold her by the shoulders, but Jolene managed to shrug her way out of his hands.

"You knew." She accused, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks unbidden, but now Jolene was wiping them away angrily.

"You're not the only one with secrets, darlin'." Jax replied, his face grim.

Jolene felt on the verge of passing out. "How long?"

Never thinking that tonight would end like this, now that the door was open, Jax was determined to bring to light any skeletons they had in the closet and clear the slate between them. Permanently.

"Jo, this is where you're going to have to be a little understanding."

"Understanding?" Jolene spit out like the word left a bad taste in her mouth. "I've burdened myself with keeping this a secret for years, never even telling my best friend, thinking that no one would ever know what had happened. Now, not only do I find out that you know, but that my father lied to me—" Stopping abruptly, Jolene's eyes widened as she came to a devastating conclusion. "You left town the day after I returned to Charming."

Hearing the accusation in her voice, Jax shook his head. "No, darlin', I didn't help Clay kill the fuckin' prick. Your father was still too pissed at me for putting you in that predicament in the first place. He never would have asked me for help. I wish he had, though. I would have ripped the piece of shit apart and enjoyed every minute of it."

"I can't believe this." Jolene said angrily. "Do you have any idea how this makes me feel?"

Jax nodded. "You probably feel as angry as I did finding out that my old lady was hiding shit from me regarding the ATF bitch." He said rather sternly.

Suddenly realizing that, in the grand scheme of things, she was the worst offender when it came to keeping secrets, Jolene felt her resolve softening. Relaxing a bit, Jolene leaned against the headboard and looked at her old man, who seemed to be pretty calm, considering the circumstances.

"When did Dad tell you?" She asked.

Now, here's the tricky part, Jax thought.

"After we took care of Whistler."

"Whistler? Seattle happened almost four years before that shit. Why would Dad tell you if it was already dead history by then?" Jolene asked puzzled.

"It wasn't dead history to Clay. Not after what we found out that night."

"Baby, you're losing me. I don't understand." Jolene crawled onto her knees on the bed. Reaching for her, Jax pulled his old lady into his lap.

It was now time for him to reveal things that both he and Clay had decided a long time ago were better left unsaid.

Jax buried his face in her fresh smelling hair and nuzzled her ear. "Jo, I know you're angry and upset with your father, but telling me what happened wasn't to betray you, but to help me realize why I had to let you go. When he shared with me what nearly happened to you, it only made me see how much danger I had put you in time and time again."

"Let me go? I wasn't some bird in a gilded cage, Jax. It wasn't your call to make, at least not without talking to me about it." Jolene argued.

"Shit, Jo, I know that now, but at the time, after what almost happened with Kyle, the truth about what went down in Seattle ripped me to shreds. I wasn't thinking straight, darlin', and I blamed myself for all of it. San Diego seemed the safest place for you to be, as far away from me as possible."

Jolene threw up her hands. "I still don't get it, Jax. I wasn't Kyle's target. You and Dad were. I got caught in the cross-fire and the only person to blame was Kyle."

Jax took a deep breath and exhaled. "We were his primary targets, but he was gonna use you to break us first."

"What?" Jolene shook her head slightly. "What does that mean?"

Jax proceeded to tell Jolene about the Club's interrogation of Whistler and the tape recording he produced of a meet he had with Kyle. "Kyle practically offered the Nord the keys to Charming and all Whistler had to do was assassinate SAMCRO's VP and President, in that order." Looking into her eyes he continued. "At first, Whistler resisted, saying that his only beef was with me and that he didn't need Kyle's help in seeking revenge, so as an incentive, Kyle offered you as part of the deal."

Jolene's eyes widened as her hand flew to her mouth. "Offered me how?"

"The night we were shot, Whistler was to track us home, tie me up, and make me watch while he and Kyle raped you before killing you." Jax stopped, his eyes fixated on the big, fat tear threatening to fall from her eye, but decided to continue and get it all out. "After they killed me, they were gonna dump your body where it could be found because Kyle wanted to witness first hand your father and Bobby crying over your broken body. Then Whistler would kill Clay with the Mayans taking the fall in hopes of igniting a war between SAMCRO and Alvarez, enabling Kyle to take over the Club."

Jax heart nearly broke in two as he saw the horror in Jolene's eyes. "This was all planned by Kyle?" She asked and Jax nodded.

The lone fat tear that had been threatening to fall finally did. Stunned, Jolene nearly collapsed, folding into Jax's arms as she silently sobbed in the crook of his neck.

Jax wordlessly held her tight, lovingly stroking her back as she clung to him and cried. Four years ago, Jax may have pushed Jolene away, but she had always blamed Kyle for the breakup of their relationship. If it hadn't been for the shooting, they never would have separated and she wouldn't have left Jax and Charming. The thought that a man who had shared a patch with her father and her old man had conspired with a sworn enemy of SAMCRO to do unspeakable horrors to her forced the bile from her stomach to rise into her throat. Suddenly, Jolene was leaping off of Jax's lap and dashing to the bathroom, with her husband supporting her as she was violently ill.

After cleaning her up, Jax now cradled Jolene in his arms as she started to put the facts together. "That's why you were pushing for me to go to San Diego." She whispered against his chest.

"It started that way, but I was wavering, about to go back on my decision to let you go. Then you showed up at the Clubhouse and I broke. I couldn't give you up, Jo. I loved you too fuckin' much." Jax stopped, caressing her face with his hand as he trailed soft kisses from her mouth, over her cheek still salty from her tears, to her hair. "Clay was angry with me. He called me selfish and said that I should just put a bullet in your head myself because ultimately being with me was going to kill you. He wanted to protect you, so he told me about what had happened in Seattle. It wasn't to hurt you, Jo. He had come so close to losing you that he couldn't risk it happening again."

Jolene balled her little fist in his hair and tugged. "Oww!" Jax complained, grabbing her hand and kissing it.

"You should have come to me with this, Jackson." Jolene admonished. "You realize all the pain we could have saved ourselves if you had?"

Jax nodded. "I know, darlin', but hearing about Seattle so soon after finding out about Kyle nearly killed me. If I hadn't seen the bruises myself, I wouldn't have believed your dad. That's why I ran off to Reno. It was either get away or give in and keep you with me. I loved you too damn much to keep risking your life. By the time I realized what I had done and that the only way to keep you safe was right by my side, you had fallen off the grid."

Jolene could see the self-loathing in his beautiful eyes. They were ripping bandages off of old wounds and it was remarkable to Jolene how fresh and new the pain felt. But knowing they had made a vow to stand strong together to weather any storm, Jolene knew that in spite of all of her tears tonight, tomorrow was a new day.

Jolene wrapped her arms around him and kissed him tenderly. "No more secrets?"

"No more secrets." Jax let himself smile. Letting himself fall on the bed with Jolene underneath him, Jax proceeded to seal the new pact he had just made with his old lady by making love to her.

Tomorrow would indeed be a new day and, come what may, tonight had made them stronger.

With the French doors open out onto the balcony, Jax could see the dark sky twinkling with bright stars. Despite the fact that it was so late, the couple was still wide awake. Clinging to each other under the royal blue comforter, Jax listened as Jolene had opened up about her difficult pregnancy with Abel, going into greater detail of the complications that had plagued both mother and child after Abel was born.

Part of him wanted to throttle his pig-headedly proud old lady. Although knowing such vital information beforehand may have affected his desire to have more children, the fact that the woman he loved was already carrying his child made Jax more determined to make sure she got the care she needed to thrive. The other part of him, the bigger part, was awestruck that through sheer force of her own will, Jolene had overcome so much without him.

Emotionally drained and exhausted, Jax rubbed his face with one hand as the other arm cradled his old lady to his chest.

"You look tired, baby." Jolene was looking up at him with those wide, beautiful pools brimming with love and concern.

"I am," Jax replied. "But I feel like I can take on the world, Jo. No more secrets, not between us, darlin'. Secrets will only hurt us and can be used to tear us apart."

"I know," Jolene suddenly sat up. "That's why there's still a few things you need to know about."

Jax sat up and turned on the switch that illuminated the entire room. He could now see the resolute look on his wife's face.

Jolene swallowed the lump in her throat. "The first time I met Stahl wasn't a couple of weeks ago. It was eight months before I came back to Charming and it's a long story, so maybe I should just give you the highlights."

Jax rubbed his face roughly with both hands. "I don't think so, Jo." Grasping hold of her chin, Jax forced Jolene to look into a pair of determined blue eyes. "Start from the beginning and tell me everything—"

"Now."