Little Girl Lost
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine. This story is on an AU track.
Chapter 10: Sleepless Nights and Weary Mornings
The first thing Zach noticed when he started awake was that he wasn't in his own bed. The second was that he was fully clothed and on top of the covers. And the third thing he noticed, just as he began to get his bearings, was that he was alone. It was Andrea's bed, he was realizing, but Andrea wasn't there.
He reached across to the other side of the bed, where she had been lying when he had fallen asleep. The pillow was still warm; she'd been there recently. Then he saw, beneath the pushed-back covers on her side, the large wet spot on the sheet.
Realization hit him, his eyes filling with tears once again. "Andrea?" he called out, already on his feet. "Andrea, honey, are you in here? Can you answer me?"
"Here."
The tiny voice came from the corner between the bed and the wall. Zach immediately rushed over to her. As he'd suspected, her pajamas, too, were soaked. She was curled up, knees to her chest, and her face was streaked with tears.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, beginning to rock back and forth. "I'm sorry."
"Shh, it's okay," he soothed. "It's okay. It's not your fault." He cupped her cheek in his hand, wiping some of her tears with his thumb. "Did you have a nightmare?"
"Yes." She began to tremble. "Then I woke up and...I know I'm not supposed to wet the bed," she sobbed. "I didn't mean to."
"Oh, baby, I know you didn't. Sometimes when you're scared, especially when you're also asleep, those things just happen, and it isn't your fault. Come on," he added gently. "How about you take a bath, and then you can sleep in my bed tonight, okay?"
She was silent through the bath and while he dressed her in fresh pajamas. But when he carried her into his room, she tensed. "What if I...what if I wet your bed too?"
"Then we'll deal with it," he said as he set her gently on the bed. "Andrea, I mean it when I say I know it's not something you have any control over. And I mean it when I say I'm not mad at you."
"Why?"
It was the same question she'd asked him in the hospital after her near-death from appendicitis. Why do you care? Why does anyone? It broke his heart just as it had then. He pulled her into his lap, holding her as tightly as he thought he could without hurting her. "Because I know that accidents happen," he began softly. "Because I don't expect you to be perfect. Nobody is. And because I love you. Not some image of a perfect child, but you, Andrea, exactly as you are."
"I love you too," she whispered into his chest. "I missed you so much."
"I missed you too." The words felt inadequate on his lips. Missed you barely seemed to scratch the surface of the huge hole her disappearance had left in his heart. "I missed you every day."
He could see that Andrea's eyes were slipping shut, but she kept forcing them back open. He rubbed her back gently. "It's okay, sweetheart, you can go back to sleep. We'll talk more in the morning." She tensed a bit, shivering, and he realized his mistake. "Oh, baby, you're scared, aren't you?"
Her silence was as good as a confirmation to him. He carefully slid down until he was lying on his back on the bed, holding Andrea so her head rested on his shoulder. "You're safe now," he whispered. "I'm right here. I won't let anyone hurt you."
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"Is it time already?"
Nick started at the voice, turning to the blonde detective lying beside him. "No, we still have a few hours," he assured her. "Go back to sleep, Amanda. We've got a long day coming."
She pushed herself up on her elbows, ignoring his last suggestion. "Yeah, we do, so why does it look like you haven't slept at all?"
He sighed, slumping down to the bed so he was at eye level with her. He had tried to sleep after Olivia had sent everyone home to get some rest before the task force briefing that was set for five o'clock the next morning, but he had quickly gotten the idea that that wasn't going to happen. "I can't. I close my eyes, I see Andrea's face. Then I see Zara's face, and where my mind goes after that..." he shuddered, the images too terrible to put into words.
She wrapped her arm around his shoulders, drawing him close, and their lips met in a breathtaking kiss. Nick let out something halfway between a gasp and a laugh as they separated. "Do that again and I don't think either one of us will be getting any more sleep tonight."
"Right. Of course." She slumped back against the pillows. "But, you know, we might be able to sleep a little longer if we can cut down on the amount of time it takes us to get ready in the morning. For instance, by not taking turns at the shower?"
She buried her head deeper in the pillow, smiling as she began to fall back asleep. Nick smiled too, deciding there was really no need to remind her that the house had two showers. For the first time, he thought he might actually sleep that night, with something finally running through his head besides the images he so desperately wanted to forget.
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"Sergeant Benson? I'm Captain Hannah, Major Case."
She turned, reaching out on instinct to shake his hand. Unfortunately, her instinct was followed a moment too late by her memory of the files she was carrying, all of which fell to the floor. Face red with embarrassment, she bent to pick them up. "Sorry, Captain."
A hand came into her field of vision, helping to gather up the files. "Don't worry about it, Sergeant," Hannah said kindly. "It happens to everyone, and I can imagine you've had a long night. Let me guess, you sent your people home while you stayed here and finished putting all the pieces in place."
She looked up at him in astonishment. "How'd you know?"
"Almost all the new or temporary COs I know have done it," he said with a smile, handing Olivia a stack of her files. "Eventually you learn to delegate. Everyone stays a little later, but no one has to stay all night."
"I'll keep that in mind." She smiled back.
"Speaking of putting pieces in place, the original reason I wanted to talk to you was concerning one of my detectives. I've brought five total, two sets of partners and one who's flying solo right now, her partner is on personal leave. She's one of the best I have, I want her on this, but I don't like the idea of her going without a partner on a case like this, and I can't spare anyone else. So..."
"You want to know if I can pair her up with someone." At his nod, she continued. "As it happens, I have an odd number right now too. I can team her up with Amaro, that'll keep me from having to break up any established partners."
"Captain!"
"Perfect timing," Hannah said with a smile, seeing the brunette woman running down the hall. "Sergeant Benson, this is Detective Stevens. She's the one I was just telling you about."
"We've met," Olivia said before turning to the newcomer. "You're working this case?"
"Is there a problem?" Hannah asked, sounding taken aback.
"That's what I wanted to tell you, Captain," Stevens interrupted. "Have you looked at the file yet?"
"Just the summary, why?"
She pushed a piece of paper into his hands. "This is why."
He began to read, his jaw dropping after a few lines. "My God. This is Andrea's case?"
Serena nodded, and it was only then that Olivia noticed how pale she was. "I didn't know either. Zach told me she was hurt and in the hospital, but he didn't share any details and I didn't ask. No wonder he didn't want to talk about it," she added. Then she looked from him to the SVU Sergeant. "You are not seriously thinking of pulling me off this, are you?"
"It's crossed my mind," Olivia replied. "You are a bit close to this, Detective."
"I know," she admitted, "but I - I need to do this. For Andrea and - and for Zach. Losing her nearly destroyed him." She turned her head slightly, but not before Olivia saw the tears she was trying to hide. "They need to pay."
"Serena," her Captain said gently, "I think that's what Sergeant Benson is worried about."
Olivia barely heard him. Her own mind was churning. She knew that, by the book, she should pull Serena off the case. But she knew what the detective was feeling, knew that it was the same thing she had felt after Elizabeth had been raped several years earlier, after watching Elliot break down, unable to bear the thought of his child's suffering. "Okay," she said finally. "You can work the case for now. But if I think your judgement is at all affected, I will pull you off. Fair?"
"Fair," she agreed. "Thank you."
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Okay, Olivia thought to herself, Cragen was right. This is more nerve-wracking than giving a presentation. At least with presentations, no lives are imminently on the line.
She swallowed, forcing her lips to move. "I want to thank you all for being here today," she began. "I know this is early for a lot of us, and some of you are here on your days off. Before this is done today, I expect that most of us will be working some hours we're not used to. I just want you all to know that your efforts are appreciated."
Many of the officers were smiling and nodding, grateful for the recognition, and she relaxed slightly as she moved into the briefing. "Here's what we have so far. A little more than a day ago, nine-year-old Andrea Marquez was found wandering the streets in a Midtown neighborhood." Olivia skimmed over the details of the girl's statement, pointedly avoiding looking at either her regular partner or at Serena Stevens. She was afraid that if she saw the pain in their faces, she wouldn't be able to finish.
"We don't know everything yet," Olivia concluded. "What we do know is that somewhere in this city, thirteen young girls are being held captive. We also know that by now, their captors may know that something is going on. Our priority is to find this house. I have a press conference in half an hour; TARU is setting up a phone bank and a confidential tip line. Some of you will be answering the phones and screening tips; the rest will be on the investigation team. The investigation team will be in pairs, stationed at strategic points throughout the city in unmarked cars. Meanwhile, Captain Hannah and I will question the suspect in custody to see if we can narrow down the search area or come up with something to help filter the tips. If a credible tip comes in, the nearest pair will investigate. If something looks suspicious, the pair will call for backup."
She stopped momentarily, drawing a slow breath to prepare for what came next. "I cannot emphasize that enough. These are potentially dangerous people, and we don't know what they might do if they're cornered. If you find anything, you call for backup and wait until they get there. We will have rapid response teams on standby. Until they arrive, you are not to take action. That's an order. I will not lose anyone to these monsters, understood?" Nods and murmurs of affirmation followed her statement. "Okay, then. Your commanding officers will be handing out your assignments. Dismissed."
"Nice work, Liv." Nick was quickly making his way to her, Serena close behind him.
"That was especially meant for you two," she replied with a very slight smile. "You're more emotionally invested in this than anyone. I'm expecting you two to use your heads, okay? I know you can."
"Copy that, Sergeant." But Nick was smiling.
For anyone who hasn't read the entire series (although you really should, it makes more sense that way), Elizabeth is Elliot's daughter, and she becomes the victim of a rape in the first story, Close To Home. At that time, Elliot is still married to his first wife, so he and Olivia are only friends.
As far as I can remember, the search/investigation method in this chapter isn't something they ever use on the series. It just seemed like a good way to allocate resources given the size of the search area.
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