As we ate breakfast the following morning, a random thought popped into my head.
"Hey, Tassali. You said you had been trying to humiliate me before we buried the hatchet, well, what were you trying to do?"
Tassali hummed as she chewed a bite of sausage.
"Well... I had planned on swapping your soap with something that would not only turn you a strange color, but would also protect your skin from the corrosive effects of my venom." She held up a claw to silence my question, "I would then wait until you were in the middle of the cafeteria to discreetly melt your clothes off. I figured you'd be so embarrassed you might actually die."
"So... basically a long, convoluted plot to pants me."
"To what?"
"Pants me. It's when you randomly pull someone's pants down around their ankles in public. You were basically doing that except with more steps."
She looked down before pulling a face.
"Well that's... kinda disappointing."
I reached over and patted her on the shoulder.
"Good effort though."
She nodded and we both moved to set our trays in the receptacle. As I walked away to get started on my various assignments, Tassali darted forward and pantsed me. I looked down in surprise as she slithered in front of me to give me a smug look. That look died as we both noticed that she'd been a little gung-ho. Rather than just my pants being around my ankles, my underwear were too.
"Tassali."
"...Yes."
I snapped my fingers and pointed to my face.
"Eyes up here please."
Her eyes snapped to mine and a slight blush suffused her face.
"I-I apologize! I didn't mean to--"
"Maintain eye contact."
She fixed her wandering gaze as I picked up my clothes and secured them again. Her face was very green (Vipers blush green by the way. If you're confused just remember that their blood is green.) as she grew more embarrassed and flustered. I took a calming breath to attempt to banish my own blush before walking past her, unable to look her in the face given I had no idea what to say. With me gone, Tassali blushed even harder and fanned her face slightly.
I hadn't imagined I'd see his... so quickly. Especially in this setting. I really hope he isn't too freaked out! Although... I personally didn't mind.
She snickered before heading to her post. As she got to work, a message appeared on her datapad.
Commander Tassali,
A convoy will be arriving at your base in T- thirty minutes. They are here to pick up supplies stored at your position before continuing on their way. On board is a VIP who will be staying at your base while the supplies are loaded. Have your assistant ready to meet all possible needs.
Tassali perked up. Finally, something to do. She quickly typed up a memo that explained the situation and sent it to Timmothy before she set about reading what the convoy was here to pick up. Everything must go smoothly.
(Thirty Minutes Later)
Tassali and I stood waiting as the convoy approached. I have to admit, I was kind of nervous about playing butler to some random person. Would they be super annoying? Would they practically tell me to stand around and look pretty while they hung out? The suspense was killing me. The convoy stopped and the door to the main vehicle opened to reveal... a Viper.
Unlike Tassali, this Viper had blue scales with red patches and was wearing a skin tight vest that buttoned from top to bottom without actually covering her stomach. She nodded to Tassali before slithering over.
"Good afternoon, I am Reviva. I hear that your assistant is to be keeping me content until it is time for me to continue on my way?"
Tassali nodded slightly.
"That is correct. Although... I was not expecting a neonate to be the VIP."
Reviva smirked.
"I might be a neonate, but I am not much younger than you. Please refrain from assuming based on my scales."
Tassali narrowed her eyes but other than that didn't show any outward displeasure.
"Of course. I'll be sure to keep that in mind."
Reviva nodded and motioned for me to lead the way. I turned and led her inside as Tassali began to issue instructions to the troops that were to load the supplies. I led Reviva to a moderately sized room set apart for the sole purpose of accommodating visitors. It had a small bathroom, a bed, and a few other items for the visitor's comfort.
"So... anything I can get you?"
Reviva hummed and looked me up and down in an uncomfortably predatory way.
"I could definitely use some coffee."
I nodded and hurried from the room. As I prepared her beverage, Reviva accustomed herself to the various controls for the room before completely unbuttoning her vest and lounging seductively on the bed. I walked back in and immediately froze as she hit me with the bedroom eyes.
"Oh, there's my coffee. Wonderful. Please just set it on the nightstand and... have a seat."
Oh crap. Stranger danger! I tried to maintain a calm demeanor but I could tell I looked as nervous as I felt. Reviva gave me a lascivious smirk and patted the bed.
"Come now, I don't bite." She paused before adding with a wink, "Unless you like that sort of thing."
Yup, she scary. I did as commanded and sat on the edge of the bed. Although I made sure that I was in a position where I could make a dash for freedom should she try something. As I sat down, she stretched in such a way that her vest slipped off her torso completely before shrugging it off, leaving her completely naked. What I hadn't noticed was that while she was distracting me, she'd closed the door with a remote. She stretched again and moaned,
"Hours in the car really gets on my nerves. If only there was some way to... relieve some stress."
I gulped. I had to try to ensure this didn't go in the way she was steering it.
"How about a back massage?"
That way, I can quickly duck out of the way and make an escape should she try anything.
She hummed before smirking seductively.
"You know, that actually sounds ~wonderful~."
She rolled onto her stomach and glanced back at me.
"Make sure you get in there nice and ~deep~."
She practically purred the last word, making me even more uncomfortable. I steeled my nerves before reaching out and rubbing her back. She moaned and scooted a bit closer.
"Oh come on now, no need to be gentle. ~I'm a big girl, I can take it~."
WHY IS EVERYTHING SHE SAYS ODDLY SEXUAL!
I pressed down a little more while still staying alert. After a bit she rolled over and stretched out. I froze. Please, please please please please! Don't expect me to do what I think you want me to do.
"Well? Are you going to continue the massage?"
"On your... stomach?"
I barely managed to squeak it out which caused her to giggle. She looked at me with half lidded eyes and purred,
"I love the quiet, sensitive ones. They're always more submissive."
"I really think this is--"
My words turned into a sharp "eep!" as she grabbed my wrists and pressed my hands into her venom sacks. As she forced me to rub her "chest" she groaned in a blatant attempt to arouse me. It was unfortunately effective.
"Just give in. You know you want to."
"I-I really don't want... isn't this kinda--"
"Oh please. You're not the first assistant I've seduced. I've bedded hundreds of males from all across the world. It's a great way to relieve stress and get some exercise."
"But I really don't want to have my first be--"
"Oh! You're how old and still have your V-card? Well, now I'm doing you a favor."
Before I could react she swung me over and rolled on top of me. She pressed down against me before sniffing my neck. She pulled up and placed a finger over my lips.
"Don't say anything. Just let me do the work."
I tried to squirm out from her coils but she had me held tight. She licked her lips before growling in a husky voice,
"Now, it's time for a bit of hands on learning. Today I'm going to give you in-depth examples of Viper mating and reproduction. Pay close attention and I'll give you a special ~reward~."
I DON'T WANT THIS! I DON'T WANT THIS! SOMEBODY HEEEELP! Is what I would have said if she wasn't keeping me from talking with her surprisingly strong claw.
And, like a scale covered angel from the heavens, Tassali opened the door. She froze as she took in what she was seeing and I managed to move my head to give her a frantic look.
"TASSALI! SAVE ME!"
She instantly sprung into action grabbing Reviva and pulling her off of me. She pulled me behind her and defensively wrapped her tail around me. Reviva gave Tassali a bored look before saying,
"What is it? If you hadn't noticed I was in the middle of something."
"I was just coming to tell you that everything was almost loaded, but I'm glad I came when I did."
Reviva rolled her eyes and smirked.
"Why? You want to be the one to claim his V-card? If so then you really have to work harder. He's been here for how long and you still haven't gotten any fun out of him? I'd heard you were a stick in the mud, but that's just depressing."
Tassali hissed and squeezed me a bit tighter. Not that I was complaining, squeeze me all you want my knight in scaly armor! Just please don't let her rape me!
"There is a difference between intercourse with the other's consent and raping someone."
Reviva scoffed.
"Oh please. He's a human, there are millions more like him all over this planet."
Tassali pulled me a bit closer and glared at Reviva.
"I highly doubt I'll find another human even close to Timmothy. Whereas I could find someone like you on any street corner."
Reviva's eyes flashed dangerously.
"You might want to watch what you say! I'll gladly thrash you and then take your assistant while you're forced to watch."
"Put your clothes back on and get out of my base you hussy!"
They glared at eachother before Reviva grabbed her vest and slithered towards the door. She paused before looking straight at me.
"This is your last chance. I still feel like having some fun, especially now that this witch has destroyed my good mood. You can join me in the convoy if you wish. I still know that what you're trying to keep buried inside is dying to break out."
Now I was ticked at her even more for badmouthing my boss/friend. I flipped her off and yelled,
"I'd rather stick my dick in an anthill!"
She hissed before disappearing from sight. With her gone Tassali turned to me and looked me over with concern.
"Are you alright? She didn't actually have time to do anything did she?"
"No. You were just in the nick of time."
She sighed in relief before pulling me into a hug.
"I apologize for unintentionally putting you into that circumstance. If there's anything I can do to--"
"You kidding? You saved my butt! I'm supposed to be thanking you!"
She blushed and nervously fidgeted with her claws.
"It was nothing. Although... you've never... been with someone?"
I shook my head.
"Nah, I only recently got back in shape. I was a fat nerd all through school so I've never even kissed a girl!"
Tassali blushed and rubbed her arm.
"Oh... so the same as me... Except I was just too busy trying to get promotions."
With the danger of getting bonked by a slutty snake lady over, I went limp in Tassali's embrace and groaned before rubbing my eyes.
"Holy crap I need a vacation."
Tassali sighed.
"I honestly might just take a vacation after this fiasco. Goodness knows I have enough vacation days saved up."
"Wait, how many do you have?"
"Well I started working at fifteen, get three weeks of paid vacation a year, have never taken any days off for the past seven years... so about twenty-one weeks or... approximately five months."
...how do I get that job?
(Author's Note)
Many apologies for how late this was. I got back from camping and was tired and a little sick. So not only did I lack the motivation to write, I also got hit with mild writer's block due to it. Needless to say that I felt insanely guilty for leaving you all hanging. Welp, here it is! Enjoy! And will these two lovebirds actually get together already?!