AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's close to the end of the story, but I only have one answer to my "Which fanfic should I do next?" question. If you enjoy reading this, and if you want to see more stuff by me, review to answer the question before 8/18/10. (That's when my school starts.)

ANYWAY, ON WITH THE STORY…

(Tails is dressed in a slightly shabby tux, and is hitting a drum and playing a brass instrument outside the pie shop.)

Tails: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention plleeeeeaaassseee? Did you notice I sang this song earlier but with different words and musiiiic? Well, the author sure diiiiiid.

Author: (*Grabs superglue for the 4th wall*)

Tails: Well, ladies and gentlemen, this aroma inside of this breeeeze is nothing like the usual source the gourmets among you will tell you, of cooouuurrrssee. Everyone, you can't imagine that this stuff used to be weird glooooop… just inside of this shop!

A FEW MINUTES LATER…

Still Tails: Get free samples of Mrs. Rougett's meat pies! Amphibian and bird pies, as you'll see. If you eat pies, Mrs. Rougett's meat pies conjure up the treat pies used to be!

Rougett: Tails!

Tails: Coming!

Rougett: (*Pointing at Blaze*) Needs brandy!

Tails: (*Carrying a bottle of brandy*) Run, ma'am.

Rougett: Okay! (*Grabs a random kid*) Nice to see you, sweetie! How have you been feeling? Breaking bones is painful. Tails! Give this kid a cast!

Tails: (*Does so*)

Kid: But… I don't have any broken bones…

Tails: (*Puts on boxing gloves*)

Rougett: (*Sees the Beggar Woman*) Tails! Throw that woman out!

Tails: (*Grabs a GIANT flyswatter*)

Rougett: (*Sees Shadow leading someone into his shop*) Bless my wiles! Fresh Supplies!

Customers: o_0

Rougett: Erm… forget that! (*Goes to a random kid's table*) How are the pies, sweetie?

Tails: Aren't they fit for a king?

Rougett: (*Hears a customer*) Be there in a second!

Tails: Isn't that a wondrous, sweet, and most delectable thing?

Rougett: (*Sees the Beggar woman*) TAILS! THROW THAT WOMAN OUT AGAIN!

Tails: (*Grabs an even BIGGER flyswatter and puts on cleats*)

A FEW HOURS LATER UPSTAIRS…

Shadow: So, how did the day go?

Rougett: Terrible! Tails almost blew his cover as a kid alcoholic!

Tails: Hey, it's not MY fault that the customer wanted me to test his beer for poison!

Charmabee: (*LITERALLY bursting through the door*) Shadow! Eggman sent Creambunny to an asylum, but they won't put me in too because they don't consider permanent sugar rush to be a mental disorder!

Shadow: (At both of the things Charmabee said) WHAT? (*Gears turn in his head and grins evilly*) Charmabee… do you know where wigs come from?

Charmabee: People with trichotillomainia? *

Author: Hey! I only use that to make little finger wigs!

Shadow: Close. People bring razors/ scissors to asylums and shave the inmates' heads. (*Hands Charmabee a card*) Here's a store that sells wigmaker uniforms. Buy one, go to the asylum, and then bring Creambunny here.

Charmabee: THANK YOU! (*Hugs Shadow*)

Shadow: (*Punches Charmabee out of the whole in the door he made*) Tails, forge my handwriting and deliver the letter to Judge Eggman, and tell him that Creambunny has changed her mind and will be waiting for him here.

Tails: Yes Sir. (*Heads downstairs*)

Shadow: Mrs. Rougett, (*Whispers in her ear*)

ABOUT HALF AN HOUR LATER, AT THE ASYLUM…

Vector: Thanks for coming! The wigmaker that usually comes here stopped coming after he said that he was going for a scale polish. (*Gestures to cells*) I keep the cats in here—

Blaze: (*Lights all of her cellmates on fire*)

Vector: The echidnas in here—

Shade: YOU CAN'T IMPRISON ME! I'M FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION! (*Gets tasered*)

Vector: And the rabbits in here. That's what you wanted, right?

Charmabee: (*Nods*)

Vector: (*Opens door*)

Charmabee: (*Grabs Creambunny and points a gun at Vector*) Vector, you are a very bad croc for doing this, and did you notice that Creambunny here is the only one that doesn't have white foam on her mouth and is not a Rabbid? (*Leaves*)

Vector Uh-oh… (*Gets mauled by rabid Rabbids*)

MEANWHILE…

Tails: Mrs. Rougett?

Rougett: Yeah?

Tails: You're the best mother figure I've ever had since my mom got arrested… I think.

Rougett: Awww, thanks… do you want to learn how to cook the pies that we make?

Tails: Okay!

Rougett: (*Leads him to the bake house*) Always make sure the oven door is closed tightly.

Tails: Got it.

Rougett: Why don't you try the meat grinder?

Tails: (*Failing to notice a sign on the meat grinder that says "Lecter industries: Supplying your cannibalistic and psychiatric needs since '91."*) Sure!

Rougett: I'll let you do it alone for a while, feel free to eat whatever you want! (*Locks door*)

Tails: (*Grabs a pie and eats it, but then notices a green feather in it*)

TEN SECONDS OF o_0 LATER…

Tails: (*Screams at the top of his lungs until the next chapter*)

* Trichotillomainia is a post-traumatic stress/impulse control disorder that I have that causes me to pull out my hair when I'm stressed. (It's related to pyromania and kleptomania.)