Chapter 9: Bound Together
Sirius
Sirius rubbed the sleep and effects of the night before out of his eyes. He smiled a tired and tentative grin as he thought of James's last night as an unmarried man. It wasn't the typical girls and liquor of a normal bachelor party. They decided to make it a Marauder Night. Just the four of them. Like old times. Surprisingly, it was James who was cautious about the idea.
When Sirius came bounding into the little cottage in Godric Hallow, with plans and excitement flashing in his eyes, James stammered an "I don't know." Sirius was bewildered. That was much more of a Remus response than a James one and it left Sirius speechless. All of the boundless energy and fervor that he had coming into the house was extinguished.
It was Lily who laughed and ruffled Sirius's hair. "Aw, James you made his tail stop wagging."
James just looked at her with a question in his eyes. "Go." She told him with a soft smile. "You've got me for the rest of your life, Mister. You can have your night with the boys. I'm sure I can figure something out."
All of his excitement came back when James met his eyes, that wicked grin already spreading across his face. "Permission? Really James? Merlin's Beard, Lil, I don't know what you did to that boy but you've got him pussy whipped bad." Sirius grinned at the two.
"Shut your trap, Padfoot." James grinned but his eyes looked at the woman he loved with a softness Sirius only saw when Lily was in the room.
They had a great night. Good old fashion Marauder fun. He was just glad that they weren't answerable to Dumbledore anymore. He stood up and dressed slowly, making sure not to jostle his soar and aching head.
When he came downstairs he saw Casey nursing a mug of coffee with a scowl on her face. "Hey, hey missy. You look like you had a rough night."
"I forgot that Lily Evans can drink like a tank and gets really pushy about you keeping up with her." Casey growled and eyed her coffee like she mistrusted the content of her cup.
"Girls night out, aye?"
"Girls… guys…. A Yeti." She murmured and the faintest shadow of a smile flickered across her face before she winced and went back to the more expressive scowl. She then looked up at him with shadowed eyes and asked, "What about you? Marauder's Night went well? No broken arms or black eyes for the wedding, right?"
"Eh, Moony lost an eye and Prongs is paralyzed from the neck down. Lily's going to be pissed."
Casey gave her housemate a indulgent smile, "Ah what a shame. Remus has such pretty eyes. And what is Lily going to say when she finds out her husband-to-be can't raise an arm or any other useful parts of him."
"She'll probably take it out on me." Sirius sighed.
"She'd probably be right about it being your fault." Casey stood up painfully and kissed Sirius on the cheek before grabbing her wand, "Well, I better get going. Lil said she wanted me there by 11."
"Cas, it's 12 30." Sirius looked at the clock on the wall.
"I'm still bitter about that last bottle of fire whisky she poured down my throat."
Sirius tried to grin at the already gone Casey but the crack of her Disapparating spell made his head ring in funny ways. He'd see her later though. She wasn't in the wedding party but was one of the first on the list of guests. She'd be there and help Lily get ready too.
He slowly went through his morning ritual, which included an extra long shower and some pain relievers, before dressing in the becoming dress robes he had bought special for the occasion. He smiled before heading out the door to Godric Hallow. This was going to be a beautiful day for James wedding.
It was all they hoped for. A day to forget that the world was at war. A day to focus on the good in life. That people still fell in love. That people wanted to celebrate it.
He smiled as he thought of the two of them. Lily and James. It still seems hard to believe. How many times has he seen Lily look at James with only disgust on her face. She liked him more than she had liked James. Well, that wasn't entirely true. The reason she was so hard on him in Hogwarts was because she wanted him to be better than he was. She didn't abide his failings. And James, dear mate that he was and is, had failings.
Would he ever be in James spot? Eagerly waiting for the time to announce to the world that he was someone else's for life? He used to joke that once he was done playing around, he'd just marry Casey. He thought about the girl who had been part of his life for as long as he could remember.
It was never romantic. He'd always laughed about her boyfriends and lovers. Even Remus didn't seem a threat. She'd always be his... right? He knew that Remus was more then just a casual lover. The amount of times that he'd woken up and found the two of them at their breakfast table attested to that. Sirius just liked the chance to hang out with Moony as well as Casey.
When he arrived at Godric Hallow the rest of the gang was already there. He only had to look at James to realize the power of love. His eyes had a light in them that he'd never experienced before. No pre-wedding jitters for this boy.
They dressed while joking about James sad fate. The grin that spread across his face, betrayed his feelings about the matter. Eventually they heard a resounding crack of someone Apparating near by.
"Boyos!" Casey familiar voice called. She skipped into the room resplendent in yellow dressrobes. They were tight fitting and flowed down in a silken shower of sunlight around her tanned legs. "Time to go!"
They four Marauder's lined up for inspection. A long ago habit, of having her primp them up last minute. She went down the line and started with Peter.
She smooth his hair out of his eyes and kissed his cheek, "Peter, my love. Be happy on this wonderful of day. Let the shadows fall from your eyes and see how beautiful the world can still be."
She went to Remus and smiled up at him with a slow smile she saved just for him. She straightened his tie and whispered in his ear. Sirius only heard because he was so close, "Soon Remus."
When she stood in front of Sirius her composure left and she grinned a very silly smile at him. "I can't wait to see the girl that catches you, Mister Black." She told him to tie his shoes before then moving on to James.
"Lily is a lucky woman, James Potter." She hugged him close and then began straightening his clothes. Taking more care on him as she continued. "You out of all the lost children, is the strongest and sweetest. Remember your parents on this day. They'd be proud. I love you, James."
She finished and shuffled them along. Remus tucked his hand in Casey's as Sirius wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "What would we do without you?"
"Be slobs." She wrinkled her nose up at me. She had a daisy tucked behind one of her ears. Almost lost in the dark waves of her hair.
Remus:
The house they were using as a meeting spot was right in the middle of London. Almost the entire Order of the Phoenix was to come that day. He smiled as he thought of the Order. It was one of the bright lights in his life that kept him from the dark. He thanked Peter everyday for the idea of them all joining. Well, maybe not everyday. Sometimes Order business seemed rough and brutal; necessary though. Everyday there were more rumors of the Death Eaters and the man who called himself Lord Voldermort.
He turned to express his feelings to the two he came with and found them turned away from him, holding hands. The fairly familiar rip of pain that he called jealousy ripped through his chest. Casey's knuckles were white around the joints she was squeezing Sirius's hand so hard. Otherwise her face was nearly passive. Sirius wasn't saying a word but the worry on his face made Remus nervous.
"Casey?" He tentatively asked. She ripped back from Sirius as if he had burned her and gave him a bright smile. Her now listless fingers fluttered up to her collarbone and wrapped around the locket she wore around her neck.
"Old memories," She shrugged looking beyond him to the crowd that was already forming. She made her smile even brighter before brushing by him and beginning her customary rounds, saying hello to everyone in the room.
Remus just stood silently watching her make her way further and further away from him.
"Hey mate," Sirius saw the hurt in his golden eyes and as always in his brusque way wanted to make it better, "Don't worry about it. The orphanage she grew up in is down the road. Heck, the prison I grew up in is right around the corner."
"Oh." Remus shrugged. He didn't want to admit it, but he kind of wanted to shrug Sirius's companionable arm off of his shoulder.
"You know, Moony." Sirius ruffled his friends shaggy blond hair. "The only reason she runs is because she's afraid of losing you. That is one self conscious girl you stole the heart of. She loves you, man. Don't you ever forget it."
Sirius patted his shoulder one more time before sauntering into the rapidly filling room. Remus sighed and followed his friend.
He couldn't grasp the happiness that he had when he first arrived. He just kept catching glimpses of her chattering happily with other people. Once he caught her gaze from across the room and the shadows in her eyes were clear. He couldn't even smile at her. She just bit her lip and turned away once more. It didn't help that she was just as clearly avoiding Sirius as she was him.
He didn't want her to avoid him. He wanted to be the hand that she grabbed when echoes of painful memories grabbed her. He wanted to understand why the orphanage made her normally indomitable figure shut down. Sirius knew. He got that much by the empathetic pain he saw on his dark haired friend's face.
That's what hurt the most. He didn't even know why she had shadows in her eyes. Every memory she'd told him of the orphanage was one of a fairly happy, quirky childhood. The kind of childhood that a girl like Casey had to have had. One full of strong willed figures coming in and out periodically; Of immigrants who barely spoke English; Of getting in trouble for wandering away from the orphanage grounds because she got distracted by something beyond the limits. He knew she feared abandonment, but why would the orphanage recall such pain as that? Who abandoned her… Who had she abandoned?
It was driving him down slowly. He ended up sullenly sitting in between James and Lily. James kept trying to draw Remus out of his melancholy while Lily quietly petted his dark blond hair. A couple of people tried to make conversation as they waited for Dumbledore to arrive and begin the meeting. He knew why most werewolves abandoned society and were shunned by others. Even when the pull of the moon was weak, the animal that took over was still inside of him. Remus spent years controlling himself but the beast inside of him was clawing and howling for blood inside of him. His anger fueling all his primitive emotions.
In the end, even sitting mutely between friends was too much and he excused himself to go to the washroom. He had barely touched the doorknob when he was pushed into the small room and followed in.
He barely had time to turn around and see who it was when she buried herself in his arms and sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, Rem. I'm so sorry."
All the anger that had been building up inside of him was soothed by the smell of wind and wildflowers. Instead his eyes watered up and he sat on the toilet seat so he could face Casey.
"I just… I don't know, Cas! You can't run like that."
She saw his tears and instantly cuddled up to him, sitting on his lap. She grabbed his face and kissed him fiercely. She looked deep into his eyes and tried to give him a crooked grin but her mouth was trembling and it came out a little half hearted.
Remus brushed a finger across her lower lip and took a more serious tone, "Casey Meadows. You promised me forever, if that means an eternity of chasing after you. I'm prepared. If that means a forever of heartache and tears. I'll do it. You can't get rid of me that easy."
The tears burst from her and made her body shudder with built up grief. She apologized and tried to turn away. Remus gently stroked her back and kept his arms around her. "I love you, beautiful girl of mine. Please tell me what is hurting you so much."
"I miss him." She sobbed.
Remus's heart stood still for a second and without thinking blurted, "Sirius?"
That got a snort of laughter out of the bawling girl. She punched his shoulder and glared through red rimmed eyes, "No, you insecure bastard! I love you, Mr. Lupin. Sirius is a necessary annoyance. A lovable annoyance, I'll give him that. But you are the man I promised to marry."
"Yeah, I just have this image of me carrying you home from our wedding and Sirius will be sitting on the doorstep asking me, What took you so long. I was bored. So what are we going to do tonight?" Remus groaned and kissed her on the cheek,
"I'd kill him." Casey chuckled and rubbed the tears off her face with disgust, "Merlin's Beard, I hate crying."
Remus brushed her dark hair back from her face as she used toilet paper to clean up her face. After a little silence crept between them Remus asked quietly, "Who do you miss?"
"Tommy." She sighed and her dark eyes concentrated on the floor. Remus watched silently as she twisted one finger through the gold chain around her neck. "He was such a big part of my life. I promised him forever once too."
Remus's muscles tightened once more and Casey laughed and twisted herself so she was straddling him on the toilet. "Not like that, you fool. I was 6 and promised he'd be my bestest friend for forever. We really are insecure, aren't we?"
Remus shrugged and tried to smile, "I still don't understand why you are."
"And I don't understand why you are! I know how lucky I am to have you look at me the way I do. You've just got this bat-crazy chick on your lap, crying her eyes out over another guy who she hasn't seen in like 3 years."
"Ah yes, now that you've put it that way…." Remus pretend to try and get up. Casey shrieked and punched him on the shoulder as she glared through laughing eyes. "Oh wait, now I remember something. That bat-crazy chick, yeah you remember her, she was the best thing that ever happened to me."
She rolled her eyes but kissed him with affection.
The door opened then and Sirius and James laughing forms stood in the doorway.
"The bathroom?" Sirius moaned and covered his eyes.
"I mean, really guys?" James built off of his best friend's start.
"And you didn't even lock the door."
"Bad form."
"Really bad form."
Remus threw the roll of toilet paper at the two dark mocking men. "Will you get out?!"
"Only if you two come with us!" Sirius grinned that bright, enthusiastic smile he has since he was ten years old and fresh off the train to Hogwarts.
"Picture time!"
"Picture?" Casey asked confused.
"Have you been hanging out with Peter?" James laughed. "You know, a camera… click! Presto you have a photo. Come on, everyone is here and we want to take a picture!"
Casey got off of Remus awkwardly and headed for the door. Before she made it Remus grabbed her hand and tugged her back into one more hug. "If you miss him this much, write to him. I promise I won't be a jealous bastard."
She took a deep breath and nodded looking at the floor. "I think I will." She breathed before turning toward the Order members already getting organized for a photograph.