Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or company. I do own Zeinzu, Raiza and Aiko (means little loved one).
Chapter 9: Tears
It was great that Rin was awake and doing extremely well. The doctors and nurses could not believe she had awakened. It was a miracle. Inuyasha wanted to join in the happiness, but knew that Sesshomaru needed this time with his family. Kagome tapped him on the shoulder and they left the room to give the family some privacy. He noticed that she was smiling, tears forming in her chocolate eyes. He turned to Zeinzu and Raiza.
"You guys should go home and get some rest. I don't think we will be able to see Rin tonight. You two can have the day off tomorrow. A lot has been going on and I appreciate your hard work. " Inuyasha said softly to them. Raiza began to protest, but Zeinzu calmed her. He smiled and gave a slight bow before leaving with Raiza.
Inuyasha was glad that they drove separately. He turned his attention back to Kagome. Grabbing her hand, he walked her outside. When no one was around, he turned and hugged her. Seconds later, she sobbed quietly against his shoulder. Inuyasha just stood there and held her, tears falling from his own eyes.
After a few minutes, Kagome raised her head. She cupped his cheeks, wiping away his tears. "I'm so happy."
"You were right." Inuyasha said with a smile. "Everything is alright." He placed his forehead against hers. They stood in each other's arms and enjoying the cool breeze of the night.
"So what happens from here?" asked Kagome. Inuyasha stepped away from her and smiled.
"I have no idea." He chuckled. He didn't care what happened next. Rin was doing better. Things were looking up. "We should go home. We can come back tomorrow and visit. I'm pretty sure that the doctor is going to want Rin to stay overnight just to make sure everything is okay."
Kagome yawned. "I don't know about you, but I'm ready for some sleep."
"Yea, me too." Inuyasha and Kagome walked over to his car. Before pulling off, Inuyasha sent Kagura a text, knowing she would check her messages before Sesshomaru. It had been a long night for everyone. He was just glad things were over. They drove in silence until they made it safely home.
"Inuyasha."
"Yes." He helped her out of the passenger side and walked towards the house. Kagome didn't continue until they were inside.
"When do you think Rin will be released from the hospital?"
Aiko meowed, making her way towards Kagome. She picked her up and headed to her room with Inuyasha following behind. Another small yawn escaped her lips.
"Since the hospital may want to run some tests on her to make sure everything is okay, I would think maybe a day or two." Kagome nodded. Inuyasha sat on her bed as she went into the bathroom to change. Aiko climbed on his lap and purred loudly for attention. "Sorry for leaving you here alone."
He stretched out on the bed, kicking off his shoes and moving Aiko to the center of his chest. Kagome walked out of the bathroom in her pajamas. She climbed into bed with Inuyasha and turned off the light. Inuyasha stretched his arm out so she could use it as a pillow and curled up next to him.
"Sweet dreams Kagome." Those were the last words spoken before Inuyasha closed his eyes to let sleep take him.
Morning arrived quickly. Inuyasha woke up alone in the bed. Kagome and Aiko were no were to be seen. He laid there staring up at the ceiling and wondered if last night was all a dream. His phone vibrated. It was a text message from Kagura:
The doctor is going to keep Rin for today. If everything is alright, she will be able to leave tonight. Rin wanted me to let you know that she wants to come see you and Kagome soon.
Inuyasha smiled and sent a text back.
Tell her we will be waiting for her. Let me know when so we can plan a party for her. I know she will like that.
After he sent the text, Kagome walked into the room with a tray of food.
"Good afternoon Inuyasha. It's about time you got up." She placed the tray down on the table as he sat up.
"It's the afternoon already. How long have you been up?" Inuyasha's mouth began to water as eyed the tray filled with toast, eggs, bacon, sausages, and peaches.
"About an hour ago is when I got up. I thought I could make some food for us." Inuyasha took that as a sign to dig in.
Kagome laughed and began eating too. His cell began to vibrate again.
"Kagura texted me back. Rin wants to come visit." He explained over a mouth full of food.
Kagome smiled and looked at his text. "Kagura said it will probably next week because Sesshomaru is still being very protective."
Inuyasha shrugged. "That gives us time to plan a little party for her."
"Rin will be excited." He nodded. "So Inuyasha," he had stopped eating and glanced at Kagome. She was fidgeting and looking down.
"What's the matter? Are you okay?"
"Yes." He waited, hoping she would say something else. Kagome took a deep breath in and out before speaking again. "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately."
There was another long pause. Inuyasha began to worry. Something was obviously on her mind. He wasn't sure if it was bad or good. He wasn't even sure what it could be about. Inuyasha reached over and grabbed Kagome's hand and squeezed it gently.
"Just tell me Kagome. I'm sure it's not bad." He hoped it wasn't bad.
Kagome got up and began to pace the room. Inuyasha watched, appetite lost. He moved the tray to the nightstand.
"It's just…" Kagome sighed and turned to him. "I don't know how to say this without sounding stupid." she mumbled.
"Just say it and we will go from there."
"Okay." She walked over and stood in front of him. "I've been thinking about us a lot lately."
"That sounds positive." He smiled, trying to encourage her.
"We've been together for a long time now. I know our relationship hasn't really improved. After Nathaniel passed away, I thought things would be better. I thought that I had truly forgiven him for everything that he had done. I thought I could finally move on with my life, but I realized that it's not true. I haven't forgiven him. I still hate him for everything he did to me, for all the things he made me do. Sometimes I still feel like I am that scared little girl hiding in the closet of my room hoping things will get better, hoping he won't find me.
I keep asking myself why you are still with me. I know I sometimes push you away, yet you are always waiting for me. I don't deserve it." A tear slid down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away. Kagome turned her back to Inuyasha and walked away. "I look at myself and feel disgusted. When you kiss me, when you touch me, I feel like I am dirtying you. I know you said it's not my fault. I know we talked about this before, but I can't move on. I'm not strong like you. I can't forgive and forget, not this. I will never be able to. I know you say you love me, I know you really do. I just…" she drew in a shaky breath. "I want to be that person that is here for you. I want to give you everything, but I am still haunted by the demons of my past. I don't know how I will ever be able to overcome them."
She turned back to him. "When I found out Sesshomaru, Kagura, and Rin were in an accident, I was so scared. I kept thinking to myself, what if this happened to you. What will I do? I don't want to lose you Inuyasha. I love you too much. How do I make myself stronger like you? What if you were gone tomorrow? I would have nothing to remember you by. I would feel angry that I had put so much distance between us." Kagome couldn't stop the tears that were falling. "I want us to grow. I want this love I have for you to continue to grow, but I don't know how. I don't know what to do. All I know is that I don't ever want to be without you." Inuyasha stood and walked up to her as she went on. "I just want you."
"And that is all you need. You have me." He cupped her cheeks and pressed his lips against hers.
I am back! My semester has been killing me slowing. I'm back it is almost over. I have not abandoned any of my stories. I am returning. It's a slow process, but it better than nothing. I hope I still have my readers. I am trying to update some of my stories this week. Thank you for your patience!