A/N: I am really sorry for the delay, though I can't promise that the next chapter is going to come out sooner. But I'll have a break sometime next month, so I'd be able to work on this more then.
Choice – Chapter 9: Ginny
"Merlin! Where did I put your ticket?" Sirius looked through his pockets frantically, the few bags in his arms wavering about precariously.
Harry sighed slightly and spoke in a soothing tone, "I've got it here, you gave it to me when we entered the platform, remember?" Sirius visibly relaxed and sputtered some apology, while he gathered Harry's stuff absent-mindedly.
Things had not been easy in the Black Manor. It took all of Remus' level-headedness and Harry's persuasion power to refrain Sirius from shouting to the Minister himself and quitting his job. They reasoned that as corrupt as the Ministry may be, the innocent people still needed Sirius' skill for protection. As much as Harry hated it, he had to admit that there wasn't much they could do besides making sure Remus got a comfortable home – that was, as comfortable as the circumstance would allow. They had received two letters from Remus since he left two days after Harry's birthday. The wizard had sounded very cheerful, yet it did not fool them. Knowing Remus, he was probably just trying to comfort them; it was just like him, always thinking of others first even when he himself was the victim. Harry massaged his temple slightly as he recalled the day Sirius found out:
"REMUS!"
Harry winced as the whole manor shook. Okay, here came the explosion Remus and he had been waiting for. In a way, it was good, as Harry wouldn't need to pretend everything was alright while his heart ached for Remus. Everyday when Sirius left to work, they would wait in suspense until he returned. It seemed that today was finally the day. He sighed as he skipped down the stairs; oh, Remus really was going to owe him one for this.
He arrived just in time to see a fuming Sirius glaring at his old friend, some paper in hand. "…how could you have not told me? I could have interfered! I will not let this happened to you. I –"
"Sirius! You are home!" Harry threw himself onto the startled man. "Oh…Harry…" Sirius seemed completely flustered, "I, I'm happy to be home too…I, we…"
"Do you need to discuss something with Remus?" Harry asked helpfully.
"Yes! It's something very important, so, er, why don't you go play by yourself for a while, and we'll join you later?"
Harry pouted, "But I want to hear it if it's something important…I have a right to know too, you know."
"Well…" Sirius was visibly trying to calm himself down, "This…there is this ridiculous law that just got passed /pause to gnash teeth/…It, well, it's really bad for Remus; it forces him to leave here…"
"What? They can't force him to leave! Oh, Remus, I'm so sorry!" Harry flew to Remus and winked at the stunned werewolf, "So that was what that interview was for! And to think we thought it was just Ministry's regular check up! How could they…you can't leave, Remus!"
"Right…what…a shock…" Remus muttered, "I, Harry, don't worry, we'll sort things out."
They both turned to see a very embarrassed Sirius who was literally sputtering, "Oh…Remus…I, I thought… Never mind. I'm sorry I didn't mean to break the news to you in that manner…this…I…"
"It's alright." Remus gave Sirius a reassuring smile, "So why don't you tell us exactly what happened?"
They almost had to use a full body-bind on Sirius that night to stop him from charging to Umbridge's house while muttering something rather, er, inappropriate. After that, it took some more days to convince Sirius of the hopelessness of protesting. And the Auror then threw all of his energy into reaching his European contacts and securing Remus a nice place to stay, refusing to give himself time to think about the injustice of it all.
Even though they had time to prepare themselves for it, the absence of Remus still came as a shock to them. Sirius was especially hard-hit for not having his decade-old friend around him after living together for such a long time, and even Harry had a hard time to adjust. Nothing seemed right without Remus.
Harry was pulled out of his thoughts by Hermione's greeting. After giving his guardian another reassuring smile, he boarded the train with her, not without feeling a little bad at leaving Sirius alone in his current state.
They slipped into a compartment already full with Weasleys and Neville. Ron surely got tanner due to his little trip during summer, and Harry noted the addition of one red head – a small girl with freckles like her brothers and big, brown eyes, who was currently glaring at the twins. He raised one amused eyebrow.
Ron seemed to finally realize he hadn't introduced them yet and hastily spoke, "Right, Harry, Hermione, this is Ginny, my sister." He elbowed her for attention and instead won a slap on the head. "What-" the witch turned, reluctant to tear her eyes away from Fred and George. She stopped in mid-sentence when she spotted Harry and Hermione and blushed slightly, "Oh…I didn't see you…Sorry, it's all because these two – she threw the twins a dark look – I'm Ginny, it's nice to meet you."
"The pleasure is mine," Harry answered with a smile as Hermione did the same; the youngest Weasley seemed to be an interesting person indeed.
He smiled again as Ron relapsed into describe his extraordinary trip, yet it did not fully reach his eyes. Seeing all the carefree, merry faces around him was rather unsettling when he was consumed with all the confusion of life.
After exchanging greetings and summer tales, the Gryffindor boys soon proceeded to play a loud, board game that the twin invented during the summer, which involved quite a bit of loud explosions, some transfiguration, and coloring charms. Hermione declined politely and buried her nose in some heavy book. Harry, having not perfected her skill of ignoring all outside distraction and wanting some time alone to think over the summer's events, decided to wander around the train a bit. Besides, he didn't want to taint the happy atmosphere in the compartment with his presence.
Surprisingly, he found an empty compartment, which was very rare since there were so many students. Grateful nonetheless, he slipped in and gazed out of the window. It was a beautiful day, the sky a calming blue. It reminded him of the navy holster Remus gave him, as both a goodbye and birthday gift. It was quite ironic really, considering he couldn't very well use his wand then. Harry took out the holster and fingered it gently.
At first, he was so distracted by Remus' situation that he forgot about his wand problem altogether. It was three weeks before school started that he realized he had to solve the problem before the oncoming term. He had better control over his magic now, despite the fact that books on such topic were hard to come by and that he had no other guidance, and could perform some of the more complex spells without burning his fingers.
Then the thought occurred to him that maybe he could pretend to use a wand and cover the fact up; it was not that he didn't trust Sirius or Remus or any of the teachers in that matter, but he supposed something in his cautious nature made him want to keep the secret to himself. Thus one day he picked up his old wand and wondered if he could just hold it and not mean to use it. Surprisingly, he accidentally discovered that he could use his wand again, although not as comfortably as he did before. It happened as suddenly as when the wand rejected him, and it seemed as if the whole rejection episode was only there to force him to use wandless magic. It made sense actually, Harry decided, for most wizards would never think of using wandless magic – something so rare that it was bordering on being mythical – unless forced to. However, he had no intention of giving up his special study now that his wand was back in proper working order; such skills could prove useful, and Hogwarts should supply him with much needed books.
Harry turned his gaze back to the train; having the holster in his hands seemed to calm him a great deal. The surface of the leather was warm and soothing, reminding him constantly of Remus. On the edge of it carved the word "Remembrance."
For most people, it would just be a typical parting word, yet Harry knew that the older wizard referred to much more:
When Harry retreated to the balcony after a rather strained small birthday party, Remus was there. It was unexpected, but Harry was not surprised. "Hello Remus," he called softly as he took his stand beside the older man.
Remus nearly jumped in surprise, "Harry! I didn't expect to see you here…" Harry gave him a little smile.
Remus gazed out to the starts again, "A calming place, isn't it? Sirius could never appreciate the beauty of star-gazing…but I've always liked it. Ever since I moved to the manor, I would come here if I need to sort things out."
"Yes…we all need to sort things out sometimes." Harry agreed quietly. He knew they were both dancing around the topic. Yet he played along, having no wish to talk about it and be reminded of the painful parting that was soon to follow.
Remus raised an amused eyebrow, "And what would be troubling you?"
Harry shrugged; it wouldn't hurt to tell Remus a little about his memory, would it? "Have you ever felt that everything in your life fit together perfectly…and yet they are not quite there?"
"What do you mean? Has something been bothering you? Your memory?" Remus' voice was full of concern.
"No…I mean, I remember everything – or almost everything I guess. It all makes sense and I…I just feel that I can't be more contented with life. Yet I always have the feeling that something is missing, something very important."
"And you feel guilty because you feel everyone's love for you. You feel that you shouldn't complain because all the invaluable friendships and care you received…yet you couldn't help but keep searching for something that would never be…"
"Remus?" The older man's voice was unusually hoarse, and there was a glint of pain in his gentle eyes. He shook his gaze off the sky and composed himself, "Sorry, I got carried away a little."
Harry, nodded, suddenly felt that he understood. He remarked, "There are things better left forgotten."
"Do you really think so, Harry?" the older wizard's expression was unreadable, "I take it that it has something to do with your past? Is there a particular thing you can't decide whether you want to remember or not?"
Harry nodded again, "Yes…I think I have a vague idea of what it might be…and that if I work really hard, I should be able to recall it. The only reason it evaded me for so long was because I didn't want to remember all that… Life seemed so much simpler without them…if I stop now, I can still go back to life thinking nothing had happened and be the sweet, carefree Harry you've seen the past few months…I can still persuade myself to accept all I remember right now in peace…but…Oh I don't know, Remus, I really don't know…"
Remus sighed, "There are things we are part of, memories so precious to us that we have to bring them back, no matter how much pain and confusion may come with it." He looked down and whispered to someone invisible, "I never forgot." It was almost like a statement, a testimony.
"But what if I won't be the Harry you know anymore…what if I turn out to be someone different when I remember?"
"It is for you to decide, Harry. Just…know that sometimes you'll have to act fast; not everything is going to wait for you. Good luck to you, and don't stay out too late." With that, he turned to leave.
Compelled by some unknown impulse Harry whispered after him, "I'm sorry, Remus, that I never really let you to get to know me."
Remus turned, his eyes gentle, "But I do know you, Harry. I know you love books; I know you had a rough past and are not the most sociable person, and I know you could be quite sly if you want to be. But I also know there is so much more behind those, and it's alright. We all have our own hidden sides. And please remember that Sirius and I will always accept you for who you are no matter what."
It was a very touched and contemplating Harry he left behind that night.
Harry smiled wryly; like it was all that easy. He supposed he would have to face the past sometime, yet he didn't want to do it so soon. He raised his head when the compartment door slid open and Ginny stuck her head inside.
"Mind if I join you?" Her voice held a little uncertainty. Harry realized that he must have looked a little tense and pale due to reliving the talk with Remus. He instantly slid on a warm smile and nodded his head.
The smile seemed to have swept away all of Ginny's doubts, as she walked in with a small bag and sat down casually. "I don't understand how Hermione can stand all those noises!"
Harry chuckled, "When Hermione has her nose in a book, it will take more than a banshee to get her attention on anything else." His eyes fell on her handbag, and he raised a questioning eyebrow.
"Oh," Ginny followed his gaze, "Some things I carry around with me, wouldn't want my brothers get their hands on them and do Merlin-knows-what while I was gone."
The red-headed witch did turn out to be an interesting person to talk to. You'd think she'd be some timid, shy girl from the protective way Ron used to talk about her, but Harry could tell that she had a quite a personality, and talking to her proved to be enjoyable. She was just as an adamant Quidditch fan as Ron; she also didn't seem overly nervous about the sorting, saying that Gryffindor would probably be her house, although she'd like to see her brothers' face if she became the first Weasley to be sorted into another house.
They stopped only when the lady with candies came by, and Harry bought quite a few varieties to share. Time flew by, and soon Ginny excused herself to change into school robes.
Harry was just sitting back down when the door slid open again, thinking it was Ginny, he opened his mouth to greet her – and stopped dead when he saw that it was a unfamiliar, pale blonde boy. Malfoy, the name jumped into his head, and he drew back instinctively in fear. Harry frowned inwardly; it made no sense at all. He could vaguely recall hearing Ron complain about Malfoy quite a few times last year, yet the other boy really had done nothing to Harry to guarantee such a reaction. Malfoy must have seen his fear, too, for he sneered rather disdainfully. The sneer seemed to help Harry jump out of his trance; that was something he knew, and he could deal with Malfoy. The arrogant boy was by no means stupid, yet his pride would serve greatly in Harry's favor. Harry had no personal grudge against Slytherins as far as he was concerned, yet he knew the rest of the school's opinion of them. To stay out of suspicion he would have to stay away from Slytherins as well. Thus, he presented what he knew to be a timid, bookworm mask, the one that most people in the school knew him by. Malfoy would not be bothered to associate himself with lowly, shy Ravenclaws, and Harry would be left to his peace without further confrontation.
Draco Malfoy sneered as he visually assessed the small boy before him. He had walked into the compartment to escape that horrid excuse of a girl, Parkinson, thinking it empty. Yet he found himself face-to-face with one of that idiotic Weasel's lackeys. He smirked inwardly as the other boy cowered away in obvious fear; always the quiet, studious one, those Ravenclaws had no backbone. The boy was no different; hiding behind his think glasses, he was a walking bookworm.
Malfoy frowned and prepared to leave, such people were of no importance to him. Yet he stopped as he thought of his mission. Yes, it would be satisfying to get someone near that foolish Gryffindor, just imagine Weasel's face if the truth ever came out! Besides, the quite ones always had a lot to write, and knowledge-craving Ravenclaws tend to hold some special trust and reverence for books that they really should not, always thinking that books could only do people good …Yes, it would be perfect indeed.
He shifted his gaze back to the other boy and lazily said, "Draco Malfoy."
The other boy seemed mildly surprised that he bothered to introduce himself and replied uncertainly, "Harry Potter."
Draco frowned slightly as he thought of a plausible excuse, "Did you…happen to see a toad? My friend lost his." It was not the best of excuses, yet the priceless face of Longbottom when he lost his toad last year was the first thing that came to his mind.
"Um…I don't believe so…"the other boy turned to look the compartment over, exactly as Draco had hoped him to. Quick as lightening, he slipped it into the bag besides the Potter boy.
"Well, I'll just have to look in other places, then," he drawled and strode out of the compartment. It had all been so easy; father would be pleased.
Harry frowned after the blonde. Well, the conversation hadn't been too bad; he had somehow managed to put his irrational fear into check. It would be ridiculous to freeze over someone you didn't even know! And it was obvious that he had successfully maintained his shy-Ravenclaw image. Yet he must say the other boy had acted rather strangely. Out of habit, he checked the compartment over for any traces of hexes or spells and found none. Satisfied, he relaxed in his seat.
When the door opened again this time, it was indeed Ginny who came inside. "I saw Malfoy leave, what was he doing here?" she asked with some contempt; Ron had obviously made some statements about Malfoy.
"Nothing, he…was looking for a toad."
"A toad? That's strange; I thought Slytherins despised toads."
Harry shrugged, Malfoy did say it was not his, and he definitely didn't look too happy having to look for it. "It's going to reach Hogwarts soon, think it's time we rejoin the group?"
He handed Ginny her bag, and thought that it surely looked much heavier than one would think. He smiled; Merlin knew what that girl carried around her! They walked back into the compartment to see the rest of their friends, and were relieved to find that the game was over.
"Where have you two been?" Fred asked a tad too innocently.
Ron immediately turned and asked, "What? You've been together?"
"Ron!" Ginny turned a little pink at the possible implications of her brother's words, "We were just talking in another compartment so we could have some peace!" She explained while giving her brothers a pointed look.
"Peace, she says," George said dramatically.
Fred shook his head, "The day Ginny Weasley and peace are associated! Have the world gone mad?"
Harry chuckled as Ginny rounded on the twins and settled down in his seat contentedly. He could well use some light-hearted Weasley bantering before they reach Hogwarts.
Important A/N: I am looking for a beta, does anyone know where can I find one? Or would anyone be interested? Please contact me at wanamaker05 yahoo . com or just drop a review! Thanks! : )
Review Responses:
Shadowface: I hate Umbridge as well but don't be so hard on her, she's making Voldie's job easier. When Voldemort eventually returns – if he ever does – I think I might really need help thinking up torture ideas. And, yes, Harry will have to face Nagini sometime again in the future.
DARKMARK33LV: Thanks! It's hard to have a lot of Voldie scenes when he does nothing except lurking around…though since it's Harry's second year, you can expect to see a certain dark haired boy soon…
Julie Long: Thank you! Hope this chapter lived up to your expectations.
Ossini: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.
Passing reader: Thanks for reviewing!
sami1010220: Thanks for reviewing! I'm sad to see Remus leave, too. But he's not completely out of the picture, though, if that makes you feel any better.
A reviewer: There is a reason this is called an au fanficiton... I know this would never happen in the books. And if you made your comment based entirely upon the pairing of the story - which you seemed to have done - I think you'd understand if I do not take you seirously. Now, constructive critism, me likes. If you could point out what - other than the pairing - made it unbelievable, I'd love to hear that.