Nate and Rahzel looked up as Elise walked back into the room.
"You OK, Princess?" Nate asked as he stood to greet her.
"Yes. No. I don't know. I don't know what to do, Nate. I NEVER don't know what to do."
Nate took her arm and guided her to a chair. "Well, what did you do when you were in with him?"
"Held his hand. Talked to him. Counted every breath, held my breath every time it seemed like the heart monitor might have the slightest hesitation…" She looked over at Nate, who had taken the seat beside her, then over at Rahzel, who was sitting across from her holding his head in his hands. She started tearing up. Damn it, she HATED crying in front of people. But, since these two had already seen her melt down once today, she saw no reason to pretend she wasn't emotional.
"He's so pale, he's not moving, there's so much machinery, so many tubes, so many wires. He can't go. He's not ready. I'M not ready to let him go. I can't…"
She stopped short when Nate rested his hand on her knee.
"He's not going anywhere yet, Elise. And as far as what we do-we keep visiting him, keep talking to him, just like you did. You ignore the machinery. You ignore everything except for him."
Elise leaned her head on Nate's shoulder for a moment, then raised her head again and looked at him.
"Oh, uhm, speaking of visiting—if you or Rahzel want to go down, his nurse will be expecting you."
Nate looked over at Rahzel. "You want to go down, Boss-man?"
Rahzel looked up. "Sorry—what?"
"Want to go next?"
Rahzel looked from Nate to Elise and back. "No—you go on. I'll sit here with Elise."
Nate nodded and looked at Elise, who patted his hand and told him to go on.
As he walked out the door, Elise leaned forward and rested a hand on Rahzel's forearm. "You OK?"
"I've never lost a boarder before."
Elise stiffened. "And you're not going to now."
Rahzel took no notice of the comment, lost in his own train of thought.
"Sure, there have been bruises, a broken bone or two, even a concussion here and there. But this…" he gestured absently towards the ICU. "I don't know how to handle this. How do I tell the others that Brodi's hanging on by a thread?"
Elise sat back in her chair and closed her eyes. Then opened them again immediately because all she saw was Brodi as he was now in the ICU.
"I don't know." She admitted. "Maybe nothing yet? Until we know more? Maybe wait until he's off the respirator and not sedated?"
"But what if…" Rahzel stopped himself short, aghast at what he had been about to say. Elise said nothing, but instead got up and walked out of the room.
Nate walked down the hall towards the ICU, not wanting to go in, but knowing he would regret it if he didn't. He kept reminding himself of the date, repeating it over and over in his head. He wasn't in Colorado. He wasn't going in to visit his mother. He wasn't…
"Dude, get hold of yourself!"
He looked around briefly; glad he was alone in the hallway because he'd spoken aloud.
"You're going to go in there and talk to him, just like you told Elise to do." He had told Elise that Brodi would hear her on some level; what he HADN'T told her was that he had to believe it, because he had to believe his mother knew he was with her before she died.
That was another thing he hadn't told Elise. His mother had died without waking up.
"Get a grip, Logan. It's a medically induced coma so his body can heal itself, not because some organic problem is shutting him down."
He approached the front desk before he changed his mind, and the woman sitting at the computer looked up and smiled.
"You're here to see Mrs. Logan?"
Nate blinked. "I'm sorry—what did you say?"
The older woman smiled again. "It's OK, honey. This is a stressful place to be; a lot of people phase out when they reach the desk. You're Mr. Logan? Ms. Riggs gave us the names of people who could be allowed in to see Mr. Ford."
Nate relaxed visibly. "Yes. I'm Nate Logan."
"I'll get Robin for you. She's expecting you and should be out to take you back in just a moment."
Nate nodded and took a seat, figuring to use the time to get a grip on his mind.
Rahzel started to go after Elise, but then thought better of it. Maybe it was best to let her go for a little while. Maybe they'd both be in a better headspace later and he could apologize to her without making both of them feel worse.
He sighed as he started to pace the room. For someone who made a good chunk of his living by speaking, he sure wasn't doing very well on that front today. He usually dealt with pressure better than this. He was used to babysitting big egos. Things like keeping the various divas in their own corners, keeping agendas going, juggling sponsors, making sure the rooming arrangements worked out so that there wasn't a throw-down before the competitions even started…all that was second nature to him. He could stare a roomful of them down, chew their asses out and send them on their way without even thinking twice about it. But look any of them in the eye and tell them that one of their own…hell, one of HIS own, might not make it through the night? Maybe Elise was right. Wait until there was more information to be had. But if he waited too long and the worst happened? No one on the team would ever forgive him. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself.
He went back and forth like that in his mind, changing from one position to another as often as he had to switch directions in his pacing in the small room. He kept telling himself to wait; Brodi wasn't going to die, and this would be easier if he had good news to tell everyone. But then his mind would go to that moment when Brodi's heart had stopped. The sound of that machine flatlining was something he never, EVER wanted to hear again.
Rahzel went back over the scene in his mind, trying to reassure himself that it was a fluke, perhaps a momentary weakness in Brodi's overtaxed body. But there had been no sign that something like that was about to happen. Brodi had just drifted off to sleep when a nurse had come in and woke him up while taking his vitals. She checked the machinery, made a few notes, pushed something through his IV and left. Rahzel had made a joke about Brodi purposefully injuring himself to get babied by pretty women, which had gotten a muffled chuckle from Brodi, then a groan of pain because, Rahzel was sure, laughing hurt like hell. Rahzel had then told Brodi to go back to sleep, assuring him that he didn't need entertaining and that he would gladly sit with him until Elise and Nate returned.
Then Brodi had closed his eyes, and within 5 minutes all hell broke loose. The heart monitor started screaming, and Rahzel barely had time to get out of the way when two nurses ran in and started working the emergency. Brodi's doctor was paged, more people came flying in, and Rahzel was ordered out into the hallway. And Rahzel had waited there, stricken, numb, and then watched as the doors opened again and Brodi was rushed down the hall to the elevators. Rahzel hadn't wanted to slow anyone down by asking questions, so he went to the nurse's station on that wing and asked what was going on. It was then that he had been directed to the surgery waiting area, and he had waited at the front entrance to make sure he caught Elise and Nate before they went upstairs to a room that was no doubt already being prepped for another patient.
It was hard to believe that all of that had been less than four hours ago. While Brodi had not been able to speak extensively, he had been able to say a word or two before he would get short of breath. Four hours ago the man had been awake and talking. Now everyone was just praying that he made it through the night.
So it was back and forth like that, until finally he pulled out his cell.
"Atomika? Can you meet me here at the hospital? We need to talk; we need to try to get Brodi's parents here. We'll talk about it when you get here."