Noctivagus
Chapter 10 - Epilogue
"Cállate Ricardo!" Ella groaned from the back seat making Ricardo loudly chortle.
"I wish I had a brother." Chloe said wistfully observing the teasing between Ella and her brother.
The petit forensic had not lied when she had told them she truly loved Pina Coladas and even more open bars.
"They are a pain. Look at me, Dios look at Lucifer!" Ella said dropping flat on the back seat. That fourth drink had been her breaking point Chloe thought, battling the same wave of alcohol-induced dizziness.
"She is right Detective. Only Jay and Ella have amounted to something in our family." Ricardo chuckled with a hint of embarrassment hitting the breaks at a crossroad to check both sides.
"With Dan, we had agreed on a baby when Trixie was at the first grade but… He couldn't keep up with a family of three much less of four." Chloe sighed closing her eyes in an attempt to stop her world from spinning.
"Believe me having a lot of siblings is not always a good thing. Ella and Jay have been taken advantaged a lot. They practically had her move to L.A. for me and now I'm leaving!" The man said turning right to Sunset Boulevard planning to take the road down to the Santa Monica Pier and towards Venice.
Chloe opened her eyes trying to focus on the distance when from the corner of her eyes she caught a glimpse of Lucifer's building.
"Ricardo turn here!" She shouted at him startling the driver into following her orders.
"What did you see?" Ricardo frantically turned his head to look for what had made them take that turn. She knew the chances were Lucifer was in the middle of a full-blown orgy but his declaration a few days ago had worried her. His fragile mental stability would not take it kindly to stay awake for more than a day or two.
"I just need to check on a friend, can we stop for five minutes tops?" Chloe asked the Latino young man who immediately checked the back seat.
"Ella won't last. Can you stay a bit more and I'll be back to pick you in about forty minutes. Is that okay?" Ricardo asked her, always keeping an eye on his big sister who was now snoring softly.
Was she willing to risk it?
Chloe could check on Lucifer make sure his plan to stay awake had spectacularly failed and if he was in the middle of something she could always retreat at LUX as she waited for Ricardo.
"Okay." She nodded trying to will herself to get outside the car and into the chilly air as her head was still feeling the aftereffects of her drinking decisions until less than an hour ago.
Clutching her envelope bag Chloe greeted the frontmen who let her in ahead of the usual long line of LUX's partygoers.
The penthouse was blissfully quiet when she finally entered but Chloe knew better than to assume that her partner was not vertically occupied. The usually spotless counter of the bar was littered with open energy drink cans, espresso cups and the brass copper coffee machine sweated still by its earlier use.
She could never understand how Lucifer was found bimonthly with a broken coffee pot on hand at the precinct when he had the skill to use the extravagant one at his penthouse.
Walking towards his doorless bedroom Chloe's hills knocked some of the various orange prescription containers that were left scattered on the floor. On closer inspection, all the bottles were empty along with several small plastic see-through envelopes.
Her instinct had been correct, Lucifer had gone once again too far. Fumbling in her bag for her phone Chloe entered the room finding her partner laying on his bed wearing nothing aside from his black boxers.
Dialling for an ambulance Chloe pressed her index and middle finger on the side of his throat searching for a pulse. Even without any proper medical knowledge, she knew his pulse was rapid and probably slightly irregular.
"Finally you are here." Lucifer sighed in relief.
"What the Hell were you thinking?" Chloe demanded, caressing the never seen before that long, growing stubble.
"I was waiting for you." He explained bleary unfocused eyes finally opening to meet hers.
Phone placed on Lucifer's side table, Chloe scooted the man to sit on the bed next to him.
"You cannot do things like that. How many pills did you take Lucifer?" She asked resting her still heavy head on the leather headboard.
Lucifer instead of replying he let his shoulder and head fall over the Detective's thighs. His trademark sparkling with mirth eyes seemed dull and unclear as Lucifer looked over at her in perplexion, brows frowning more closely together with every passing second.
"What is it?" Chloe asked him as her hands found their way to his thick unruly locks.
"I told her to keep me awake so why am I dreaming?" Lucifer demanded, kicking his legs on the bed.
The rocky motion made the kid's red tricycle to fall over the edge of the bed and collide loudly with the floor. A startled Lucifer sought immediately the protection he needed by the unexpected sound by ducking his head deeply on her stomach.
"Lucifer what do you want from me?" Chloe said sweeping Lucifer's curls away from his dark eyes that were looking at her with an almost pious attention.
"I wanted to protect you from Father, from me." Lucifer began in contrition.
Chloe continued to dive her fingers through Lucifer's hair as he finally opened up to the one question he had time after time avoided to reply in a direct manner.
"The day I left you at that hospital was excruciating. I thought I was leaving you forever." He admitted as his shoulders started to shake.
Chloe couldn't know if it was due to the emotional turmoil or the drugs but she strongly suspected the first as Lucifer's hands tightened around her midsection.
"Then why did you?" She whispered unconsciously tugging painfully Lucifer's curls.
"For you to be free. To have the will to do anything you desired, anyone you desired." Lucifer growled bitterly revealing that he knew more than his goofy comments earlier that week gave him credit for.
It was the moment Chloe realized how much Lucifer knew about her physical relationship with Marcus.
"Was it worth it in the end Lucifer? Losing everything?"
'Losing me' Chloe thought as Lucifer's face contracted in pain yet his eyes remained unyielding.
"For you to lead a life based on what you desired the most without Father's manipulations? Yes!" Lucifer replied emphatically twisting the edge of her dress in distress.
It had been a foolish act, a hazy decision involving an equally intoxicated man who if Chloe wanted to be truthful she adored to a fault. It was meant to be a kiss to bid him goodbye and instead, she welcomed him. Back in her life, deeper in her heart and for a very short while in her body.
Laying on the basking afterglow of sex, shame and a million what-ifs, Chloe watched as Lucifer finally drifted asleep. The emotional and physical outlet had him collapsing in her arms as his lover was contemplating the consequences of her actions.
It had not been the best night of her life she thought with some amusement but Chloe had seen a more intimate side of Lucifer. One that Chloe had hoped to explore months ago and now if this didn't work out, she would have to swipe under the proverbial rug.
The buzzing drumming of her mobile on the nightstand made Chloe scoop the vibrating device as Lucifer left a murmuring sigh of annoyance. Ignoring the phone Chloe observed her partner sleeping upside down his bed still on his boxers.
She was convinced they had time to talk, in the meantime Chloe's relationship with her boss was about to become more than difficult.
Admitting to cheating was something Chloe never thought she would do in her life and yet she had dragged her partner down the path Lucifer usually led his lovers. The one of poor excuses and the importance of fulfilling your desires.
Her desires had mindlessly set her underneath him forgoing any coherent thought of consequences. Or worse? Protection.
In the second round of buzzing, Chloe took her phone to the living room and answered the call.
"Hey, Detective! I'm parked right across the street." Ricardo informed her.
"Ricardo I think I'll stay." Chloe bit her lip still watching Lucifer sleeping but not daring to leave him alone in this state, especially after what happened between them.
"Are you sure? Everything okay up there?" Ricardo's suspicion dragged, in the same manner, Ella's did.
The elevator chimed open while Chloe watched a glorious set of legs clicking with self-assurance over the obsidian penthouse floor.
"Impatient isn't he?" The barely dressed in black woman asked winking at the Detective as she made her way to Lucifer's bedroom.
The phone forgot on her chest, Chloe watched as the woman kicked the envelope clutch towards her and proceeded on climbing over an unconscious Lucifer.
A sultry smile appeared on her face as ruby lips parted and her tongue licked the trail of Lucifer's previously orgasm prompted palpitating neck artery.
When Lucifer failed to respond the woman parted her black almost see-through robe and slapped him hard on the face making Chloe jump.
"Oh perfect! Harder!" Lucifer exclaimed jolting awake.
The cold reality set low on Chloe's stomach as she saw Lucifer not questioning the presence of the woman and worse of it all, not seeking her out.
Backtracking as quietly as she could, Chloe made a great effort to not sink on the cabin's floor.
"I'm coming." She nearly cried in haste hoping that Ricardo was still on the line waiting for her final reply.
Clutch held painfully on the low of her belly Chloe tried to ignore what little flatterings that persisted from her Lucifer induced high while she licked the wounds of her unexpected Fall.
Three days passed until Chloe saw him again. Jittery, dishevelled a physical and intellectual mess that mirrored perfectly her emotional state. She pressed, probed more and finally clawed him raw where it hurt when Lucifer refused to repeat the same words he had breathed at her as their endorphin soaring was crushing down that night.
Chloe had used everything she had carried with her since the penthouse's elevator doors had slid shut. The anger, the pain and the betrayal. God the betrayal! Lucifer's towards her and in consequence, Chloe's to Marcus'.
"He is a good man who treats me right. And I'm happy, Lucifer. And all I know is how I feel when I'm around him, and, you know, I-… l L-" The word was drowned as the air pierced her ears of what she was not willing to say. To hear or acknowledge ever again
'I love you but I cannot do this anymore!' Tears wailed up but remained pertinaciously unshed.
"We're done here." The Detective said leaving Chloe to howl out in pain at whatever had survived from her heart. Her very soul.
Jonathan nursing was the only sound breaking the heavy silence of the living room. The sun had set and the light from the kitchen barely helped Chloe see Lucifer's expression.
Lucifer had not uttered a word while he had guided a stumbling Trixie to her room for the night and then he proceeded on sitting to the couch across from her as she fed the baby.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" Chloe asked him tentatively brushing Jonathan's soft hair in hopes the child wouldn't catch the thick tension between the adults in the room.
"What am I supposed to say?" Lucifer replied grimly not seeking any of the answers Chloe had supposed he would have had once he was aware of the Jonathan's true paternity.
"Why, how… When?" She tried to open a conversation venue.
A light gurgle was heard followed by a cough and the room was illuminated by a soft reddish glow that was reflected mockingly the resting bullet necklace on his mother's bosom.
Chloe resettling Jonathan turned to look at his father's equally glowing amber eyes.
He was angry. Furious.
"After Charlotte- After that night I got back home a wreck." Chloe started watching as the dancing flames behind Lucifer's eyes started to dim.
"Tears turned to sobs and sobs to some of the most violent expellings my stomach had ever experienced." She laughed humorlessly at the cause of her rough night so many months ago.
"It had been a month already since the week you had decided not to sleep. I told you to sleep!" Chloe cried in frustration over the act, the humiliation she had experienced and the events that had led her to shoot her superior just two days later.
"Do not blame it on me, Chloe!" Lucifer growled standing up as if their very proximity hurt him.
"I don't." She admitted weakly. And she truly didn't.
Cupboards opened and closed until Lucifer had started to brew his tea. She knew he despised the little store-bought brands but he had never complained.
A cup was set on the counter as the man threw a tea-bag inside, poured the water and waited for the brew to seep. Under the harsh kitchen light, Lucifer looked tired and for the first time since Chloe had met him, ancient.
His forehead lines were deep as the man watched intently Trixie's yellow cup he had picked. Lucifer had not taken his usual late 19th-century china cup. The only piece that had survived from Chloe's great-grandmother's set of six. For an inexplicable reason, that simple change of habit hurt.
"I didn't know if it was his and I shot him Lucifer." Chloe reminded him, recalling the grave yet effortless decision she had made that day.
Justice had mattered. Lucifer's life had mattered even more. Chloe Decker that day had freed the trigger trying to set her own self free.
"Would you had done it if you were sure it was his?" Lucifer asked as he disposed the soggy bag on the sink but made no move on joining her back to the living room.
Would she have done it? It would have taken one more second but-
"Yes." She replied honestly.
"I used to have some very detailed dreams over the years you know. Over you, us." He admitted, grimacing as he always did at the first bitter sip.
"They felt real .time so after a while I just started to ignore them. Morpheus was toying with me and he was gracious enough to let me pull the strings. The craving fantasies." Lucifer mumbled with a guilty expression barely looking anywhere else than is steaming cup.
"Please tell you don't have horns." Chloe interrupted him not trusting completely the conversation they had two years ago.
"I most certainly do not." He admonished the very idea.
"Well it seems like The Dreaming was toying with the both of us." She sighed turning her attention to the slacking grip of her son.
"Do tell…- Right." Sultry teasing Lucifer was back only to retreat just as fast.
"I wondered many times why I did it. Why I stayed knowing I had a boyfriend. I was so ashamed, so deeply ashamed." Chloe confessed tracing the outline of the small drooping eyelids.
Jonathan let out a cry of displeasure as Chloe placed him on her shoulder to tap the air out his belly.
"I wish I could tell you to blame me but in this case, I cannot be sure the act was led by a sinful seducer, or at least what humanity has branded me as." Lucifer let out a bitter laugh fastening the two loose buttons under his collar.
It was an act Chloe rarely saw Lucifer doing in anyone's presence but when it did happen, it was usually followed by an affirmation of how low her partner's self-esteem really was. Lucifer was sheltering himself behind two buttons. That act by itself was not good.
"I'm not ashamed of having sex with you, on acting on my desires for once Lucifer." She hoped her words had brought him back from the edge Lucifer was ready to fall off from. That of self-loathing.
"Let me guess you never told Cain... Marcus." Lucifer guessed and her the bowing of her head was enough to be interpreted as a clear answer.
She always preferred the name Marcus fearing someday she would slip, someday she would have to analyse how little Marcus Pierce actually existed. How much she had been deceived and Lucifer understood her need to leave Cain where he belonged. In obscurity for now.
"I cared for him and a few nights later I told him I loved him while you were collapsing. I believed that I had a definite answer, that it the words would have made it real. You never brought up that night even on your elaborate dinner so I said yes to him. To everything Marcus had to offer and to what I hoped I could give back." Chloe told him honestly still rocking the now clearly sleeping baby on her shoulder.
"You choose with your brains." Lucifer accused her always a supporter of anything other option but logic.
"I chose with my heart. Most of it was already in shreds and what little had been left untouched was promising to mend things for me. I did care for him." She cleared any doubt Lucifer may have had that she truly had fallen to a degree for the immortal Lieutenant.
"You said it yourself, Detective. It was how he made you feel. You loved him." He said simply rising to his feet again from the kitchen's stool ready to leave her alone in the dark room.
Chloe had known him long enough to see that Lucifer was hurt, confused and lost in the past, the present and even more likely the future. If this time she kept silent Chloe was gambling with Lucifer barricading himself emotionally indefinitely.
"Eight months ago I had a test on my hands I wondered if my second child was the result of a spontaneous unprotected quickly in the evidence room or the aftermath of a drug, and in my case, alcohol-induced haze. Neither sounded better than the other. But God I hoped for the second." Chloe opened up to Lucifer making him halt, with his right foot already on the first step of the staircase.
"Neither possibility was a good one." Chloe could hear the wood crackling under Lucifer's crashing hand while Chloe delivered the painful admission that she had not dodged a bullet.
Her son was irrepressible but the agonising months of not knowing who his father was and the weeks Chloe believed she knew would always stay with her. That everlasting mourning of better the Devil you know.
'The Devil you love.' Her torturous thoughts had screamed back at her every single time with the most memorable one the impulsive purchase of Jonathan's grey onesie.
Chloe had hoped picked her boy's first garment with a wishful thought only to store it next to her most prized possession that remained from Lucifer. His only truly meaningful gift that no money could ever buy. The joke as she had characterised it once. Her bullet-necklace had been placed in the same paper bag in hopes for Chloe to find a connection between the two objects and her unborn child.
"I lived through both Lucifer. For weeks Jonathan's colouring was so light I was convinced he was Marcus' and then he started nursing. His eyes glowed whenever he lost his latch and I was… relieved. Ecstatic even." Chloe said meeting a very tired Lucifer at the bottom of the stairs.
The shadows could play many tricks but tonight they nurturing everything that had been left unsaid for so long.
"It never happened during the bottle feedings." Lucifer crumbled at the stairs much like he had done earlier on the street.
"Because his muscles are still working up their strength. Why do you think he gets both formula and breastfeeding? To make sure he is well fed." Chloe explained to the man she eventually decided to sit next to on the stairway.
"This morning I was at Linda's lamenting. Wishing Jonathan to had been mine because I could already see a part of you in him." Lucifer broke, hands covering whatever anguish could be seen in little light the kitchen offered.
"I knew you cared about Trixie and me but to what extent or how much you could tolerate Jonathan. After learning that everything you had ever told me was true, who was I to keep you close, save you even? Did you even want to be saved by this absurd notion you have for yourself? That you are always the one at fault for everything bad that is happening around you?" Chloe babbled her own insecurities at him.
Chloe would have continued for a very long while if she hadn't felt a hand resting gingerly on her right knee, offering her gently the support she needed.
"You are everything. My everything." Lucifer whispered before planting a lasting kiss on her shoulder next to an oblivious drooling Jonathan.
"Is that a declaration?" She breathlessly said unable to read his eyes.
"That's a 'it's too late, you have a house to explore and hopefully also a man tomorrow' promise." He told her standing up and then helping her on her feet.
Many issues had not yet been discussed and some would wait millennia until they finally did but that night Chloe Decker retired on her bed while Lucifer settled next to her on the mundane grey armchair.
No more words were exchanged as her eyes finally dropped watching Lucifer keeping an eye on her and the contents of the wrist basket beside her bed.
When tomorrow did come, it did before the sun had risen.
"You thought I would miss our 5 o'clock?" Came Lucifer's tender voice a few feet away from her.
A low cry was the only given response but it sounded like Lucifer had already his hands on the baby which left Chloe unmoving on her bed as she heard father and son finally interact as such.
"I have told you so many stories in the past 47 days but what about the most important one?" Lucifer continued opening the door of Chloe's room with Jonathan slurping over the nipple of his breakfast's bottle.
"It's not a how or a why but a tale of when. When I fell in love with your Mummy it happened over a piano..." His voice was drowned in the distance when Lucifer finally closed the door behind him leaving Chloe smiling widely in her pillow
Bedtime stories ever since that night were filled with a rare insight of how the Devil had yielded to a Miracle.
It had all began with a piano, a bullet, some badly performed chopsticks and a pair of grey-blue eyes. Not always in that order but no one ever seemed to mind especially when Lucifer's most precious words were spoken in private and usually for his Detective's ears only.
The End.
Songs Used for this Story:
I Won't Let You Down - Erin McCarley
Hi-Lo - Bishop Briggs
Sanctuary - Welshly Arms
Notes:
Thank you to everyone who decided to take this ride with me. It was a real privilege :)
Now a big thank you to Navaros and Youcantmakeme. The two persons who encouraged the idea to be turned to a fiction and patiently listened to talk about this for hours... The real MVP here are them. :)
Finally, with this chapter, I've finally reached the 300K words on A03!