Trigger warning: once again for discussions on sexual exploitation

Chapter 10

Then

The beginning of winter is hard on them.

Daryl reckons it comes early, the chill seeping in in what should be late Autumn, settling in their bones. It's the coldest he remembers it being in a long time, perhaps ever. Maybe he just never noticed it before though, back when there was central heating and when he at least had a few warm clothes to his name. Even back when he was a kid, no matter how bad it got there was always heating, his Dad might not have given a shit about them but he liked his own comforts.

As the season changes, they risk making a run into the nearest town to gather supplies. It was the wrong time of year for warm clothing when the turn occurred, but they manage to find a thrift store, mercifully empty of any of the dead. Daryl's bought enough clothes from places like these but girl like Beth, he doubts she's ever worn anything that wasn't new. She doesn't complain though, just looks through the clothing, picking out a warm jacket, a pair of thick socks, gloves and a beanie as Daryl stands guard. He's picking a jacket for himself, socks already stowed in his pack, when she speaks.

"I used to like coming to places like this, you never knew what you'd find. There used to be some really good retro clothes if you were lucky, I'd go with my friends to the store in the next town over and we'd try things on."

It surprises him, but Daryl merely shrugs, "Yeah well, I don't know about no retro. In the Dixon house if you needed new clothes then it was down to the local Goodwill."

Beth just nods, no judgement in her face as she watches him rifle through the row of jackets. Girl always knew he was a redneck, must have guessed he'd grown up the poor kind. That's the thing he's realised about Beth - she's observant, makes her own deductions and learns quick. It's been a relief to him as he's tried to teach her what he knows, not needing to repeat things.

They haven't talked about what happened at the Bed and Breakfast since they left it, though Daryl knows that they both still think on it. They can't make it on their own forever, but they can't make it with people like that either. The good people... Maybe they lost the last of them when the farm fell, maybe there aren't any others left.

They've only run into other people once in the month since they've been back on the road. A pair of brothers heading north to Boston, hoping to get back to their family there, the younger one couldn't have been more than sixteen. They'd travelled together for a few days until their roads parted, refusing the offer to come along. They're bound to Georgia for the time being, still in search of what they've lost. Hell, for all Daryl knows the others have already moved on, gone somewhere north where cold weather will make the walkers slower, or west or east towards the water. He doesn't know though, and Georgia's as good a place as any for the time being.

They don't talk so much, him and Beth, better not to when they're out in the open and the sound could attract unwanted attention. Girl never complains though, just trudges along beside him, eyes on the path and hand on her knife. He needs to see about getting her another gun, something to protect herself with. Daryl understands why she gave it to the boy, might even have done the same himself, but it means they're down a weapon nonetheless.

"You done?"

Beth nods as he shrugs on the jacket he's chosen, before picking up his crossbow where he'd placed it on the counter. They're slightly more prepared now, though god help them if it starts snowing and they're without shelter. They head outside, checking that the way is clear first before they step into the street. There's a dead one in the distance, but they'll be long gone before it catches up and Daryl doesn't see the point in wasting a bolt, or needing to head to retrieve it.

Beth's looking across the street, and he follows the direction of her hand as she points at the convenience store there, a questioning look on her face.

"Might as well," Daryl agrees, taking another look around before they cross the road. Maybe he'll have to take care of that walker after all, but they've got time for that after they've scoped the place.

There's no response when they tap on the glass, but as soon as they've opened the door he sees something scrambling away from them on all fours, quickly drawing the bow to point in that direction.

"Daryl, wait!" Beth exclaims, and a moment later they see the figure stand, cringing in fear as she clutches a bag.

"Please, please don't hurt me. I have a son, waiting for me at home. Please don't hurt me."

/

The woman's name is Stacy, and they follow her back to her apartment, where she knocks carefully on the door in a pre-arranged code only to have it opened by a boy with dark hair who looks to be about seven.

It's taken them almost an hour to walk there, down the highway and to the next town over. Daryl knows it's a sign of how desperate they must be for food, that the woman would go that far from her little boy to look for it.

"Just the two of you?" Daryl asks once they're all settled in, as the boy looks at them with wide eyes from his mother's side.

Stacy nods, passing a hand over the little boy's hair. "When it all happened we stayed inside, locked our doors and barricaded ourselves in. Some of our neighbours did the same, but many fled, it was chaos. For awhile the streets were full of those things, and then one day most of them were just gone, like they'd walked out of town on their own or something."

Daryl nods, remembering the herd that had taken down the Greene fame. It's Beth that speaks next, her voice purposefully soft so as not to scare Stacy's son. "How have you survived since then?"

"I've scavenged, but there's no food left in town, none I can get at anyway. It's getting harder and harder. I can kill those things when there's only one, one of our neighbours showed me how before he... But we're..." Her voice breaks a little, "We're not doing well."

They eat a meagre dinner, both Beth and Daryl conscious of leaving as much as possible for the pair. Beth tries to divert the son, Jack's, attention by teaching him a clapping game, their movements soft as they stay purposefully quiet.

When night falls, Stacy takes her son to bed before returning to them, offering up bed in the spare room. Daryl jerks his head in Beth's direction, indicating that she should take it and he'll take first watch and she nods, thanking Stacy before she goes.

He's just settled himself by the window, his crossbow on his lap, when the woman walks over to join him, taking a seat opposite.

"You and Beth, are you together?" It's asked hesitantly, and Daryl knows, looking at her, that this woman is no threat, that there's no reason to lie to her. He does anyway, nodding his reply.

She sighs, looks away and then back at him, "I'd thought... It's stupid really."

Daryl's not sure he wants to know, so he keeps silent, but that doesn't stop her from telling him.

"I thought that maybe if you weren't, that if you wanted me... Maybe you and she would stick around, maybe we'd have a chance."

There's tears in the woman's eyes, and he gets it, he does. She's desperate, and she knows the end is coming one way or another if they remain on their own.

"Can't stay here," Daryl rumbles, fidgeting with his crossbow as he tries to keep his hands busy, aware of all the awkwardness of the situation. "Said it yourself, no food left, and no good hunting around either. Could come with us though, try to find a better place."

Stacy thinks about it for a moment before she shakes her head, wiping away sudden tears, "We wouldn't last out there on the road, maybe I could by myself, but Jack... I don't know what to do though, I really don't know."

She stands then, wiping her hands on the legs of her pants, and gives him a rueful smile. "Good night then, Daryl, and I guess we'll be saying goodbye in the morning."

He thinks about it, thinks about the situation they're in until he goes to wake Beth for watch, tumbling into the bed she's left, and pulling the cover over himself. There's something, there's a way, but...

But it's not a choice he wants to ask this woman to make.

/

Beth is quiet in the morning, as conscious as he is of what will most likely happen once they leave the pair behind.

"They won't come with us?" She whispers, and Daryl shakes his head.

"Offered last night, she said no." He glances behind them, to where the woman and child share a meagre breakfast at their table. "Was thinking though, thinking we do know a place they could go."

He feels an ugly kind of guilt rise in him to even suggest it, a bitter taste left in his mouth after speaking the words. Beth stares at him a moment, uncomprehending, and then she blinks, her face going blank before she looks away, acknowledging his point.

Daryl clears his throat to get Stacy's attention, calling her over from her son, who she leaves with a kiss to the forehead. "We'll still take you with us, if you want. We could help you make it, me and Beth, we'll help you protect Jack."

Stacy shakes her head slowly, her eyes fixed on Jack even at this slight distance. "It would only be a matter of time, out there on the road. I can't... I'm not brave enough to try that, I can't do it."

He clears his throat once again, unsure how to say it, not wanting to say it. "You can still change your mind, but if you're certain then there's a place we know, they'd take you both in, only... They don't take anyone for free. You'd... They'd expect something from you in return, expect you to choose one of the men."

A strange expression crosses Stacy's face, and she looks away for a moment, towards her son and then back again. "But they'd take us, and we'd be safe there? There's food?" A nod, "And Jack, they wouldn't..."

Daryl shakes his head decidedly, "Didn't seem like that type. They're not... Not the worst that's out there."

"But you didn't stay there."

"No. No, we didn't."

He doesn't need to say more, he sees the understanding in her about their reasons for leaving.

Stacy nods, passes a hand through her hair and nods again. A weight seems to settle upon her shoulders and just as suddenly she shakes it off, squaring them as she considers the future "Thank you," she says finally, "Thank you for telling me. If there's a chance it'll help us survive then I have to take it, no matter what. Can you show me where this place is?"

/

They help her to find a car, Daryl siphoning enough gas to get them to the Bed and Breakfast, around 50km away. He teaches Beth as he does so, makes her practice even though she splutters at first at the taste. He supposes he should teach her to hotwire a car soon, adds it to the list of things he has to show her.

In the end the car is loaded and Stacy and her son are ready to leave when Beth impulsively reaches out, placing her hand on the other woman's arm.

"I want you to know... You might think you're not strong enough, but you can be. I wasn't strong, but I am now, I am. You can learn, and you can teach Jack too. You teach him, you teach him so he never has to make a choice like yours."

Stacy reaches forward and hugs Beth, hugs her tightly as Daryl stands by awkwardly, his gaze fixed to the ground.

"You both stay safe, you hear me?" She tells them as she climbs into the car, her voice wavering slightly.

They stand there, watching as she drives away, Beth clutching the hilt of her knife where it sits in its sheath so tightly that her knuckles turn white.

"C'mon," Daryl murmurs, and brushing his hand against her shoulder, he turns her away and back to the road.

/

They're silent as they travel, silent as they find an old house to spend the night in, silent as they secure it and prepare themselves to go to sleep.

It's only once the shared can of spaghetti has been eaten, a single tea light candle burning between them that Beth speaks.

"We sent her there, her and her son. We sent her there to those people."

"We didn't send her, we gave her a choice. She chose that." Daryl's voice sounds argumentative even to his own ears and he wonders just which one of them he's trying to convince.

"Maybe we could've found another way, maybe we could've..."

"Weren't no other way, Beth." He cuts her off abruptly, biting the words out. "She was right, they wouldn't have lasted a week out there with us, would've either gotten themselves killed or us instead. This way they survive, this way they have a chance. She made the choice for herself."

"She didn't have any choice," Beth replies tiredly, defeated, "Not like I did. I know we couldn't help her, I know there's nothing more we could've done, but I can't help thinking..." She looks up at him then, her eyes piercing, gaze so sharp that he wants to look away, worries what she might be able to see, looking into him like that. "I've got a choice 'cause I'm with you, because you're a good man, you gave me that. If you hadn't found me that night..."

"Beth..." He protests, his voice weak even to his own ears, cracking. "Ain't no..."

She interrupts him by laying her head on his shoulder, hair falling over her eyes though he sees her wipe at them. He lets her have it, lets her have that comfort, and after a moment he reaches out, takes her hand where it lays in her lap, holds it simply in his, loosely. It's times like this when he knows he can't let her down, when he feels something bright spark inside of him, burning low and strong within. He won't question it, but he knows he needs her to keep it alive, knows he'd do damn near anything to keep her safe.

"Maybe one day... Maybe when we find the others, when we have a place, we can go back to them." Beth suggests, her voice quiet, tired. "We can give them a choice then."

"Maybe," Daryl's voice is equally quiet, as he gives her the only assurance he can, "Maybe we will one day."

/

The days grow colder, as do the nights.

They stop for longer in the places they find, unable to travel as easily now that the weather has turned.

The first time that Beth curls up next to him, her slight form turned inwards towards him, it's awkward. He doesn't know how to react, fears moving in case it disturbs her, or gives the wrong impression. He understands it though, it's freezing at night and any extra warmth they can get is more than welcome. When Beth's turn for watch comes, he hesitates only a few moments before he does the same, his back turned to her but pressed up against her legs where she sits, a hard line of warmth. It becomes a habit, and before he knows it, it's also become a comfort, something to look forward to at the end of a long day.

Daryl doesn't know where those thoughts come from, wishes they'd go back again to wherever it is they did. He doesn't have time for those sorts of feelings, can't afford the distraction, and more than that, above everything else, he won't be that man.

"I've got a choice 'cause I'm with you." She'd said, and he won't let that choice be taken away, not by anyone, not by him least of all.

So he keeps himself turned away, allows only that line of warmth upon his back, and doesn't look for more.

A/N: I am so so sorry that this update took so long. There's been a lot going on lately, including a work trip a I needed to go on and I'm going to try my best to ensure the updates come quicker from now on!