You guys are blowing me away with your response to this fic, so if you've recovered from the last episode, have some more fluff and feels. Thank you for reading, and enjoy! P.S. The truth about Killian's hand is coming out very, very soon.
For the rest of her weekend Emma feels like she's floating on a cloud; she dreams about Killian's kisses and wakes up on Sunday reaching for him even though he hadn't even come into the apartment when he escorted her home yesterday, his lips barely grazing her cheek when he told her goodbye.
Elsa insists on dissecting every moment of Emma's Saturday when they meet for coffee and Emma indulges her even though her self-doubt grows the more she thinks about the return trip and how Killian seemed uncomfortable with public displays of affection safe for holding her hand whenever she needed his help.
As if sensing her mood, Killian texts her on Sunday afternoon and asks if he might see her tomorrow after work, and Emma manages to put off answering for almost half an hour before she agrees.
She doesn't want to seem too eager, but at the same time she's afraid he's going to write her off if she's too hesitant to answer him.
"Swan", he greets her as soon as she enters his shop, his hand taking hers and leading her away from the door. "How was work?"
"Same as always. Slightly boring and not very demanding", Emma says and bites her lip because that had come out bitter and she had promised herself a long time ago not to bad-mouth her job because she'd been luckier than most to be able to life comfortably in this economy, especially considering her disability.
"Not very fulfilling, is it?" Killian enquires as they make their slow way into the back room where she surrenders her coat, cane and bag while she tells him what she'd been telling herself moments ago. "Stability is important, but nothing stops you from dreaming about something that would make you happy and allow you to earn good money."
"Easy for you to say, Mr. Continuing-the-family-legacy", she tells him with a smile and listens the now-familiar sounds of him making tea.
"Not as easy as you'd expect", he says, the muffled sound of his voice indicating that his back is turned and Emma frowns, feeling more frustrated with the darkness surrounding her than she had in a while.
Killian is a puzzle she would like to solve, but she fears that doing so would be difficult even if she could see his face.
"I learned a long time ago that some dreams weren't meant to come true", she tells him and cautiously walks to his workbench, following her nose to the bouquet of flowers that's waiting to get delivered to somebody special.
"And yet it's impossible to forget them, is it not?" Killian asks and covers her hand resting on the table with his so that his arm is around her, his lips brushing her cheek as he speaks and instantly making her body come alive from his nearness.
"You smell like the ocean", she says and he chuckles, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into her palm.
"Or, rather, my shower gel does."
"I used to dream of having a house right on the beach", she tells him and tilts her head a little, giving him the perfect opportunity to cover the minute distance between their lips and kiss her again.
He doesn't disappoint, his mouth pressing against hers in a lazy caress that makes her sway and grip the material of his shirt in her free hand to help her stay on her feet.
"Someday you will have a house on the beach", Killian whispers against her lips and it sounds like a promise, his voice so full of conviction; he makes it sound like he would go to the ends of the Earth to make her dream come true.
"I would be content with just being near the ocean again", she admits and Killian is silent for a little while, her fingers itching to explore his face so that she might have a better chance at guessing his thoughts.
"It would take a two hour drive, but you're frightened of cars."
"I'm not frightened", she argues even though she knows he's right because it's a weakness she hates and doesn't know how to get rid of.
"Have you ever tried to overcome the fear?"
"How do you suggest I go about that? Just go into a random cab and hope I don't have a panic attack?" She asks him sharply and he pulls back, either hurt or puzzled.
"Of course not."
Puzzled, then.
"First, you try just sitting in a car. I volunteer my truck and my person to keep you company", he says and despite the painful clenching of her stomach at the idea, Emma has to admit that she's intrigued.
"And then?"
"Then we drive around the parking lot. Just one lap to see how you take it", he assures her and Emma is completely stunned that he would do something like that for her. "If it's too much, we can still take the train to the coast."
"You can't be real", she says and he chuckles, then kisses her forehead and tells her that he's as real as she is.
"Let's test my theory", he tells her and puts his jacket over her shoulders, abandoning his tea and leading her out the back door and to his truck.
"What about the shop?"
"If it pleases them to take a few flowers without paying for them, then so be it", Killian says nonchalantly and leads her to the passenger side, but when he opens the door she finds that she can't make herself move to climb into the truck. "Love, hey, it's alright. We don't have to do this."
"I want to do it", she says, but she still doesn't move.
"How about the driver's seat?" He asks and Emma gives him a doubtful look but still follows him back around, her left hand sliding over the hood of the truck and her right resting on Killian's shoulder.
Emma thinks her heart is going to jump out of her chest, but when Killian opens the door and puts her hand on the wheel, she scrambles into the driver's seat and sits there, realizing that she can breathe just fine.
"Alright?" Killian asks, rubbing her back and staying close-by while she adjusts and assesses her reaction, and it's only when she nods that he runs around the car and gets into the passenger seat; she grips the wheel tightly and breathes a soft sigh of relief only when he reaches over and covers her hand with his.
"I'm sitting in a car", she says more to herself than him and jumps a little when he closes his door.
"Sorry, love. Would you like me to keep my door opened too?" He asks but she shakes her head and makes herself let go of the wheel and slam her door closed.
"It's not as bad as I expected", she tells him and that's exactly the moment panic hits, breath hitching in her throat and her hands reaching desperately for him.
"It's alright, lass. You're alright", he says and pulls her on his lap, her arms wrapping around his neck and her face pressing against his cheek.
Cold air rushes in when he opens the passenger door, but he doesn't carry her out of the car.
"You are safe, love. Nothing is going to happen to you", he murmurs against her ear and keeps holding her until she believes him.
It takes Emma ten minutes to stop trembling and release her vice-like grip around Killian, and it's only when she pulls back a bit that Killian becomes aware of the intimacy of their position; she's curled on his lap and her calf is pressed against his groin, her hands resting on his shoulders while his holds her side.
"Close the door", Emma says and shivers because his jacket has been left behind on the driver's seat when he took her in his arms, so Killian obeys her instruction and waits to see how she reacts.
She remains motionless for a full minute before she relaxes and slides her hands up his neck, her left cupping the back of his head and her right resting against his cheek.
"Would you mind if I tried figuring out what you look like?" She asks him softly and he turns his head to kiss her palm, telling her that he doesn't mind at all. "Stay still, then. You don't want me to poke you in those cornflower blue eyes of yours."
"That would be most unfortunate", he says and she smiles, then closes her eyes and starts tracing her fingers over the contours of his face, smoothing over his jaw and brushing against his cheeks before she encounters his nose.
"Seems pretty fine to me. It's a nose, and a cute at that", she says and presses her thumb against the root of it, sliding it down until she reaches the end. "Not as big as you think."
"If you say so", he tells her and she tugs on it gently, then admits that she likes the fact that it's not perfect.
"It gives character to your face", she says and focuses her attention on his brows and forehead, his eyelashes fluttering against her palms and making her giggle.
Emma Swan sitting on his lap in the passenger seat of his car giggling is not something he had expected when they started this experiment, and it's more satisfying than anything they've shared before.
"You have eyelashes like a girl!" She exclaims and Killian huffs, gathering her wrists in his hand and holding them away.
"Take it back."
"I will not", Emma giggles and easily frees herself, then traces the scar on his cheek with her finger. "How did you get this?"
"Cut myself trying to shave when I was little", he says automatically because that's what he'd been telling people since the beginning.
"Nuh-uh. I always know when people are lying to me", Emma says almost nonchalantly, and even though it's clear she's not going to push if he doesn't want to tell her, he gets the strangest urge to finally let the truth out.
"My father was a drunk", Killian tells her and Emma opens her eyes, her fingers stilling against his cheek. "He sliced me with a knife to prove a point."
"Killian", she breathes, but she doesn't look as shocked as he had expected, just leans forward and gently kisses the faint scar. "What was the point?"
"That my mother loved him too much to ever kick him out", Killian says and lifts his hand to caress her smooth cheek with his knuckles. "He was wrong."
"She sounds like a brave woman."
"She was", Killian agrees and Emma lifts the sleeve of her shirt, showing him a pale cigarette burn that makes his blood boil with rage at the person who had inflicted it.
"One of my foster fathers did this to me because I wanted to watch the Smurfs while his game was on", she says and Killian lifts her arm so that he can kiss the burn the way she had kissed his scar.
"I would be honored to beat him up if we happened upon him", Killian tells her and Emma gives him a wry smile, asking him if other florists make it a habit of using their hands in such manner.
The fact that Killian is painfully aware of another opening to tell Emma about his hand doesn't make it any easier to actually say the words.
"The only other florist I know is Will, and he's more prone to walking into people's fists than throwing punches of his own."
"Sounds like a nice guy", Emma says and cups Killian's cheeks between her palms, then kisses him firmly, her warm tongue slipping into his mouth and making his jeans feel uncomfortably tight. "I think you must be really handsome."
"Even despite my less than perfect nose?" He laughs and Emma nods earnestly, brushing her small, pretty one against his.
"Maybe even because of it", she tells him and he wonders if she knows how much in awe of her he is, and how happy he is to be given the gift of her company, not to mention the joy of having her on his lap, so completely trusting and so very brave in the face of her phobia.
"Thank you, love", he says and kisses her jaw, nibbling gently on her neck until her fingers dig into his shoulders and she thanks him in a breathless voice that makes him briefly entertain the fantasy of taking her right here.
"Up for that lap around the parking lot?" Killian asks because Emma Swan deserves more from him than a quickie in cramped quarters, but then again, she also deserves to know that he is not as whole as he appears before they fall into bed together.
"Let's try it", Emma says and he drags his mind out of the gutter and opens the door, then kisses her once more before getting out of the car and jogging around to get into the driver's seat.
"Put your seatbelt on", he tells her because he's not entirely sure she wouldn't attempt jumping out of a moving car if she starts panicking.
Emma keeps one hand on the door handle and the other grips the edge of her seat while Killian eases his truck into motion, careful to keep the speed low, his hand taking Emma's and holding it as they circle the parking lot at a snail's pace.
He waits until she relaxes in her seat and only then parks the truck and shuts off the engine, then reaches into the back seat and hands Emma the first flower he encounters.
"Is this my golden star?" She asks him with a light chuckle and he nods, brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear as she explores the flower.
"A medal of honor in the shape of Amaryllis Belladonna", he murmurs, hoping she can tell how proud he is of her just from the sound of his voice.
"Thank you", she says and Killian decides that he doesn't care if all the flowers had gotten stolen from the shop in his absence.
It would be more than worth it just to see Emma smile like this.
Review?