Heeeeey everybody! I started a "Story Progress" thing on my profile, so if you want to see how any of my stories are going (or just a stupid excuse for not updating in forever… I'M SO SORRY! *facedesk*), just check that out. Anyways, I don't own FMA… If I did, then Mustang would have had his tiny miniskirt harem ;) First off is BabyBlueBeluga!
Shiro,
You're such a doll :) Are you happy with Hayate as a mate?
Shiro: Thanks! I really, really love Hayate, and I'm so happy to have met him.
Hayate,
How do you deal with so many puppies? What if one got away from you?
Hayate: They're good listeners, especially ever since Riza trained them :) Although they do get a little skittish whenever they see a gun…
Riza and Roy ;),
What if there was no law prohibiting military members to date? Would you guys be together?
Riza: …I hate you people…
Roy: Uhhh… uhhh… JNRGTJCNTNCJNDJMRJJN!
I think you broke them… XD Next is…my sparkly, unlucky kitty… Kitten1313…
Dear Ed,
Could you ever forgive your father for leaving?
Dear Ed, (evil grin)
How do you feel about the Mpreg stories about you? (That's for killing the milk)
Edward: He's a good for nothing bastard. End of story. And you want to know what I think about those horrible things? (Transmutes an axe and sets it on fire) The next person to write one is going to get a little VISIT from me.
Me: …Little violent today, aren't we?
Edward: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO LITTLE THAT BUGS HAVE TO LOOK DOWN TO SEE ME, YOU STUPID, OVERGROWN LIZARD!
Me: Grrr… I didn't intend to say "little" like THAT, you idiot!
Dear Scar,
What would you have done if the war never started?
Scar: …I guess I would have kept training to defend my people, I suppose…
Dear Tucker,
What would you have done if you didn't turn Nina into a Chimera? And remember; my hounds are still hungry.
Tucker: Well, then we'd all be living in a little apartment or something. But as I said, I did it with Nina's best interests at heart.
I think you fell off that path, oh… five HUNDRED miles ago. Release the hellhounds, Kitten. Make him suffer… (Eyes glow red) …Any…ways… up next is IrisTenebris… (Claws get super long) DIE, TUCKER!
Dear Roy, what would you do if Edward transformed into a toddler and you had to take care of him? What if he turned into a cat chimera?
Roy: They're both physically impossible and mentally disturbing on so many levels.
Dear Edward, would you like having cat ears as a chimera, and would it annoy you if people thought they were cute?
Edward: Okay. For once, I agree with Colonel Bastard. And yes, I would be mad! Who the hell would want cat ears in the first place?
Dear Edward and team Mustang, what do you think would happen if you all got sent off to war?
Roy: It would be pretty bad if we were sent off to war…
Edward: Ugh. That's the understatement of the year.
Havoc, Falman, Breda, Fuery, and Riza: Team… Mustang…?
Dear Envy, would you ever go out with Edward Elric?
Envy: I will kill you ALL.
Me: No! Get back in your cage! Stay away from the readers!
Dear Riza, do you really shoot at people who slack off at work?
Riza: Of course not. Can you imagine how much problems that would cause? Everybody just knows to fear my wrath is all.
Dear Hughes, if you got to return to earth for a day, but you were invisible and only Roy could hear you, what would you do?
Hughes: That would be horrible… but… at least it's only for one day, and Roy can actually respond to me. I actually wouldn't go to see him or anyone, though, because it would do nothing but reopen old, ugly wounds.
Annnnnnd finally,
Dear Black Hayate, woof woof bark woof bark growl woof bark woof woof?
Hayate: Why yes, yes I do love chicken! :D
Well… that was certainly interesting. Now we have Valley of Death, who has one of the most EPIC profile pics ever! XD
Dear Milk, *slips Ed a sleeping pill* Now what do you think of Ed?
Milk: Don't care much, y'know. We don't really care about humans.
Dear Ed, if you had to choose, would you rather fight Gluttony or the genderless palm tree (Envy)?
Edward: (Starts laughing his head off, still groggy from the pill)
Envy: Wh-NO! I AM NOT A FREAKING PALM TREE! And I'm a MALE.
Edward: Hehe… Probably Gluttony, since he's a lot stupider. Although that really isn't saying much… (Stumbles a little)
Envy: I have centuries more knowledge than YOU, pipsqueak.
Edward: You son of a…! (Huge fight erupts)
Great; now I have to clean up the bloody mess when they're done. *Sigh* Let's see… here's lotrprincess!
Dear Rain and Other Forms of Water,
What do you think of Mustang?
Water: We don't flower…
Me: Wait… oh, I'm sorry! My Aqua is a bit rusty.
Water: It's… okay. Anyways… we… don't really… care. We don't… pay attention… to humans.
Dear Alexander,
Were you named after Alex Louis Armstrong? (After all, you're both huge, lovable, and like to glomp Ed.)
Alexander: Ooh, who's that? Can I jump on him? Pretty please?
Me: Um… sure. Have fun with that.
Dear Edward,
Does the military require you to have shots like you would if you were attending school? If so, what would you do about that?
Edward: I'm happy to say no to that. I've never had to get a single shot.
Roy: Actually, we do have to get shots… he just runs away to avoid it. In fact, every time he so much as hears the word 'needle', he gets all jumpy.
Edward: Shut up! No one likes you!
Roy: Hm? Where did that voice come from? (Looks down at his feet) Oh, it's just you, Fullmetal.
Edward: HEY!
Dear Hawkeye,
How often do you have to break up fights between Ed and Mustang?
Riza: (Checks notebook) Well, including the argument just now, about one hundred thirty-three.
Havoc: Wait, you keep track?
Riza: Yes, along with a brief description of each one. About eighty-five percent of them are fights over Edward's… stature, ten percent are over Edward disobeying a direct order or damaging a lot of things, and five percent are just over regular men things like sports and the like.
Falman: *Whistles*
Fuery: Why do they fight over everything…?
Alphonse: I think it's because the Colonel and Brother are so much alike.
Edward: What!? I am NOTHING like that moron!
Roy: Why you little runt… (Yet another fight occurs)
Riza: One hundred thirty-four…
I feel your pain, Ms. Hawkeye, and I offer my condolences… Next is… *shiver*…Pride the Arrogant… (Wait; why am I scared? I'm flippin' immortal!)
Dear Pride, who's your top two favorite siblings?
Dear Pride (Yeah, again.) Why do you lick your lips when you're about to eat someone with your shadows? Is it just for creep out points?
Pride: Hmph. I don't really consider myself "siblings" with those inferior, younger creations, but I would have to say Wrath and Envy. Both can easily manipulate themselves into whatever position is convenient, making them excellent pawns.
Me: Do you ever consider anything other than manipulation points?
Pride: Of course. But I just don't care for anyone other than Father and myself. I find that they are all on a lower level. Being on top means that you get to survey all the little idiots and manipulate them as you wish. Having such pathetic emotions as "love" or "sadness" just weakens you. As for your other question, I just think it's amusing to watch the reactions of those who see me do it, since they squirm like the little worms they are.
Dear Roy, do you ever read Royai stories for laughs?
Roy: No… (Mutters quietly to himself while staring very intently at the paperwork)
Dear Alex A., two things, one how do you do that sparkle thing, and two, simply enlighten me.
Armstrong: Why it is SIMPLE, my dear child! The sheer PASSION that has been passed down the Armstrong line for GENERATIONS is so powerful that the shimmering of light cannot help but appear in AWE! (Rips off shirt) I shall SHARE with you this beautiful PASSION! (Throws sparkles everywhere)
Dear Ling, what's the worst part besides not being in control about sharing your body Greed?
Ling: Well… it gets annoying when he tries to use my body to get drunk and then hitch up with a woman for the night, if you take my meaning. Thankfully, he always gets himself so drunk that I can take over for about thirty minutes, which is long enough to make a run for it before anything happens.
Greed: You don't know what you're missing out on.
Dear Izumi, are you stronger than your husband?
Izumi: Of course not! (Looks all dreamily at Sig) I'm only a young housewife!
Sig: You flatter me, my dear! You could always carry more bears than I.
Dear Father, do you think of yourself as Van's brother or son through blood? Like on a family tree.
Father: I used to consider him as almost a brother, but now I see him for what he really is. He's an ungrateful, lowly human whose blood was necessary for my being to evolve.
Huh. Moving on, next up is Griz Lee :D
Dear Greed,
Did you have a "thing" with Martel?
Greed: She's just my possession… I like to take care of my things, that's all.
Martel: (Pleased snake-y look)
Dear Breda, *locks Breda in cage with 30 puppies* Good luck!
(A while later)
Breda: Are you SURE I can't keep them? They're so cute!
Me: No.
Breda: Aww… :(
Dear Heinkel,
I'll just leave this dead mouse here, I'll check back later *snicker*
Heinkel: … I'm tempted to either rip into your throat or this thing's… (Stares at mouse and sweatdrops) It… it… Aw, screw it! (Bats mouse around) Heehee!
Dear Tucker,
GRIZZLY CUTTA! PWND!
Tucker: (Slowly coming back to life) Oh crap, not agai- (Blood sprays everywhere from the carcass)
Thanks, Griz :) Normally I would feel sorry for anyone who has had to deal with constantly being ripped to shreds, but… eh. Tucker is my least favorite character, right next to Yoki. Anywho, the next reviewer is MystiqueSilver! Welcome back to the den of craziness!
Hey Al, what if, instead of armor, your soul would have been stuck to a male mannequin? Or what would you prefer except armor or a human body? (By the way, forgot to tell you, you are the cutest little bro I've ever seen! *glomp* *patting on head*)
Alphonse: Um… That would be reeeally weird… Then I actually would have to wear clothes. And if I couldn't choose armor or a human body, I think I would've liked a… hmm… I guess just something I could move around in, so I could stay with Brother. It wouldn't have to be big, either, just enough to move around pretty freely. After all, not being able to move for three years would be HORRIBLE.
Hey Ed, I say you behave like a child, what is your opinion? What is opinion of everyone else?
Edward: …Thanks for the compliment… (Sneaks hand towards bazooka) Anyways, ugh… Colonel Bastard you already know, I think Lieutenant Hawkeye is awesome, Havoc, Fuery, Breda, and Falman are all really cool, I don't like the Homunculi, Teacher EEP, Sig is scary looking but nice, Hughes is a slave-driver (Poor Sheska!), Gracia is really sweet, Elicia is cute, Olivier is scary, Hohenheim can go die in a well for all I care… (Passes out from lack of air)
Maybe you should've done this amazing thing called BREATHING, Edward… -_- Finally we have Z. U, then I'll have to wrap it up :)
Hey, Alexander the dog,
Why do you love Edward's silver pocket watch so much?
Alexander: It's so shiny! :D (Starts bouncing and frolicking around)
Winry,
What would you do if Den betrayed you by chewing on one of your beloved wrenches?
(P.S, Please give him a pat from me!)
Winry: Oh, trust me, she used to when she was younger. It didn't work out so well, since even the lightest wrench I have is solid metal. That's why some of her back teeth are chipped…
Thanks for reading, guys! I apologize again for the late update :( And as you can tell, I took Z. U's advice, and I think it looks awesome! (I also decided to underline you guys' pen names... Just thought that might be nice.) Let me know what you think about the changes!
-Dfire
Sent 16: I've called him that once… He killed me about five times before I could finally knock him out… *Shiver*
Kitten 1313: A little crazy, too ;)
IrisTenebris: I like them too! I just wish I had more time to read them. *Sigh* And thank you!
Lotrprincess: He probably would, the sicko! It's pretty much the same for me :(
Pride the Arrogant: Thanks, creeper! :D (Just kidding; you're awesome)
Griz Lee: Lol, it's fine. I've actually been to Oktoberfest quite a few times myself, so yeah! VERY fun place to go to. And lucky! I have to steal them from my friend… who only has four of them so far… T_T (P.S... I read your comment on "I Am Creed", and there actually IS another chimera story I highly enjoyed. It's called "Number 28" by one of my absolute favorite authors, Sevlow. Be warned, however... she doesn't get the nickname "Angst and Gore Queen" for nothing!)
MystiqueSilver: I hate it when that happens, but thanks for reviewing in this chappie! :D ARGH you had to ask! It's hard because I love a lot of them, but I would have to say… (Leaves to think for about two hours) Alphonse and Riza. Alphonse because (Don't tell him or May I said this!) I kinda-sorta have a c-crush on him… *Blushies* I love Riza because she's like my role-model :) I would have to say that Edward is in third place for me, and Colonel Bastard is in fourth ('Cuz they're AWESOME.)
Z. U: I'm glad I made you so happy! And thanks a lot for the suggestion. I kept putting in spaces to separate the questions, but stupid autocorrect or whatever took them away… *Growls* Anyways, 1. That is where I come up with anything good (my bed/ bedroom), and 2. Yes, yes it is. When you're as old as I am, you get to witness the Donner Party firsthand… *Shudder* I STILL have nightmares about it.