She's short, she's flat, and she's got a temper to boot. But she's cute, and she can cook. Why not give her a second look? Ooo! Ouch...are you okay?

The Trials of Uzumaki Naruto, Girl

by MingShun

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

A girl stares down at the newest draft of the chapter. "I don't get it. How do you manage to write such crazy fight scenes when you had no experience writing action whatsoever."

"...Beginner's Luck?" the author replies as he shuffles nervously.

The girl stares at him for a moment before her eyes narrow slightly. "What's that behind your back?"

"Nothing!" the boy defended.

"Gimme that!"

"No! Don't look!"

"Writing Fight Scenes for...Dummies: Ultimate Edition for Those Dum-Dums That Just Don't Get It."

"Hey! I'd like to see you try writing one without it."

"Okay..." the coauthor deadpanned.

The author turned to the screen. "Naruto does not belong to me or the useless girl next to me. We're just borrowing the characters and the scenery for another fun story."

The useless girl sighed. "There you go again, talking to thin air..."

"There are people there! Don't you see them?"

She squinted slightly, "Let me see..." Her eyes suddenly widen and she gasps. "I think, I think..."

"Yes?"

"...I think you're an idiot. Seriously. The phone book is by the phone. You know what those are right?"

"Gaah!"

-o-o-o-o-o-

The 7th shadow followed because he was interested in how inspirational yet human the blond could be. He wanted to see more!

Actually, her free nature drew him to her. And she was sort of cute.

His distracted thoughts proved to be his undoing when he failed to notice a strange odor in the air. His eyes grew heavy and he soon laid down to take a nap. Once the odor faded away, a new shadow stole forward. She was the 8th one.

-o-o-o-o-o-
Chapter 9: Neji
-o-o-o-o-o-

Naruto woke up. She turned to the right and saw a familiar face sitting right next to her.

"Sasuke!" she shouted as she tried to move, however she soon discovered that she was tied up tight. "You bastard! Let me go!"

Shing!

That was the sound of a kunai coming out from its holster. It glinted madly under the dim light.

"You know, uh, I was just kidding. You can keep me tied up...put the kunai away please?" Naruto asked with a weak chuckle. Of course she wasn't pleading.

Instead of listening, the raven haired boy swung downwards. There was a shrill scream.

From down in the dungeons. It was actually too faint to hear but just because no one was around to hear it doesn't mean there wasn't a scream.

There was also a tearing sound. This sound was closer to the scene and far less hair-raising. It was made by a kunai slicing through the ropes that bound Naruto in place. They fell away from the terrified girl.

"Umm...thanks," Naruto said gratefully when she finally started moving again. She rubbed her arms to restore circulation. "Where am I?"

"Otogakure," came the short reply.

"Eh?" Naruto cried.

"This is my room" Sasuke continued before he stood up. "Dobe. I'm going to change you back to a guy."

"Eh?" Naruto unintelligibly repeated. However there was a tone of hope in her voice.

Instead of explaining, Sasuke snapped his fingers and a large plume of smoke erupted in the spot where Naruto stood, concealing her completely from view.

When the smoke cleared, Naruto appeared a bit taller and far less delicate.

"..."

The blond quickly checked himself over before he looked up happily. "Sasuke! I knew you could do it! I'm going to cook dinner for you as thanks! Where's the kitchen?"

Sasuke wordlessly pointed out of the room, and Naruto dashed out.

It took him little time to be acquainted with the rather dimly lit kitchen. It looked sinister and evil, but the ingredients that he found were very fresh. Almost like they were just picked.

As Naruto hummed happily at a kitchen counter, a shadow slowly crept up behind him.

The scene suddenly goes black.

"Sasuke! What are you-No! That can't go in there!"

"Aiieeeeee..."

The bed creaked loudly as a blond girl sat up with a gasp.

As she sat there in the darkness panting heavily as she put a hand to her sweat-covered forehead while the other one tightly clutched her blanket for comfort.

The same nightmare for the past three days...the last thing that she could remember was Sasuke tossing sliced eggplant into the large bubbling pot. The soup was ruined before she had a chance to try it.

"Sasuke...baka." she quietly whispered as her hand fell into her lap and her bangs shadowed her face.

-o-o-o-o-o-

(3 days earlier)

"Nightmare Jutsu," the cloud-nin finally groaned out before he was suddenly hauled into the air and thrown into a clearing.

Kyuubi ran off.

Moments later, a Konoha patrol happened upon the beaten man.

"Look, a missing nin!" one member of the patrol shouted.

"Way to state the obvious, Bazo," another group member said as they promptly tied up the criminal and returned back to Konoha...after they finished their patrol route.

In other words, if they found themselves in a spot of trouble, they could always throw their prisoner into the line of fire. If their prisoner somehow managed to survive their return trip to Konoha, then they could deliver him to intelligence for interrogation.

Kyuubi tended to be a bit cruel when he was stressed.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Neji stood in front of the Hokage with a stern look on his face as he waited patiently. Inwardly, he was confused. He was just out of the hospital and there was a mission already available for him?

"Your mission was originally a D rank, but given the number of failures, I believe it should be an S rank mission." Tsunade said as she sat up slightly and shuffled a stack of papers before she leaned forward again to continue. "However, C rank is the best I can designate it because the mission itself will not take place outside of our village's borders."

Neji nodded, he understood so far.

"You will have to accomplish this mission solo. I would have sent your team to accompany you, but Tenten-san and Lee-san are currently out of action. As for having another team to help out, there isn't enough time for you to develop teamwork with them. Interference from the others would unnecessarily complicate this mission."

"Yes Hokage-sama," Neji replied.

"I'll be brief, your mission is to get Naruto out of her apartment."

Neji blinked in confusion. "Retrieve Naruto from HER apartment?" He rephrased slightly, asking for clarification on the odd mission and Naruto's odd gender.

Instead of answering, Tsunade fixed him with a glare before saying, "Don't interrupt."

Neji remained silent, allowing Tsunade to continue with, "Neji, I'm counting on you to succeed." she said as she slid a folder forward for him to take.

The Hyuuga prodigy paused before he picked it up and briefly scrolled through it. Five teams sent out, all failed. 3 genin teams, 2 chuunin. Every one of them returned alive but with injuries ranging from mild to severe. The Fifth really wasn't joking.

He looked up. "Why me?"

"None of the teams that I sent out before had a member that possessed the Byakugan. All they could tell me was that they couldn't find Naruto and that a red blur attacked them while they searched. With your bloodline, you should be able to discover where Naruto is hiding as well as identify what the red blur is," Tsunade replied as she subtly closed a half-open drawer. No, she wasn't trying to hide a dart-board with several profile pictures pasted on the front.

Her subtle motion wasn't lost on the young Hyuuga. He looked skeptically at the blond woman. Naruto was probably late for a meeting and the Hokage needed someone to wake him up. He straightened up and asked, "Permission to leave?"

"Not just yet," Tsunade said as she held something up.

"..." Neji gazed at it impassively for a moment before he turned and walked out with a scowl on his face.

Tsunade set down the nurse outfit. Granted it wasn't sized for him...but...

-o-o-o-o-o-

There was a click, and then a door swung in.

Neji stepped into the living room and walked towards a closed door without hesitating. He quickly unlocked it and stepped into the bedroom. There was a lump on the bed hidden beneath the blankets.

"Naruto, get up." Neji demanded.

When there was no reply, he repeated it again before he impatiently stepped up to the lump.

"Get up," Neji irritatedly said a third time as he pulled the covers off. His eyes widened when all he found was a pillow. He irritatedly formed several hand seals.

Byakugan!

Looking around the room, Neji immediately realized that she wasn't on this floor, nor on the floor above him. He looked downwards. There was someone hiding down one. SHE was the only occupant in this entire apartment. Maybe the girl knew where Naruto was hiding.

He stood up and started to walk out, only to leap back as a foot almost took his head off.

"Who are you?" Neji growled at the newcomer.

"Kyuubi no Yoko," the man bluntly said before his eyes narrowed. "I will not let you pass."

Neji was very surprised to hear a man introduce himself as one of Konoha's historical nemesis. When it finally occurred to him to move, he didn't have enough time to dodge the followup hit. He crashed heavily against the far wall.

Quickly pushing himself up off of the floor, he jumped forward to retaliate. He missed.

He felt several strikes hit his arm and back as punishment. Stumbling forward slightly, Neji immediately swung around.

"You are within the range of my divination," he shouted. Except he had no time to follow through before he was seized and thrown into another wall.

This continued for a moment longer, Neji taking several hits, but unable to land a single hit on his opponent. It was obvious that he was outmatched. The man's reach and speed advantage were too great for him to overcome.

However, he soon noticed something was very strange about the way the man fought. After the next wave of attacks, Neji deliberately left his neck exposed.

Instead of taking the bait, the man grabbed the Hyuuga's arm and proceeded to throw him at the bed.

Neji nimbly rolled off the bed and gracefully landed on the floor. He understood now, the man wasn't trying to kill him. He was just keeping him away.

The two eyed each other warily before Neji turned.

The glass shattered as he leapt right out the window.

As he dashed down the wall toward a window that led to the floor below, he heard a curse from behind him.

Right when he touched the glass, he saw something move from the other side of the glass. His eyes widened in surprise.

It was a trap!

In his panic, he lost control of the chakra keeping him glued to the wall. There was a brief shockwave from under him, and then a large crater formed in the wall as Neji was forcefully ejected from the vertical surface.

Twisting gracefully in midair so that he was in oriented in a way to soften his landing, Neji watched with wide-eyes as the glass shattered and a large tongue of fire caught his unfortunate opponent in midair.

There was a loud scream as the fire covered the man. A body bellyflopped on the ground, creating a small steaming crater indent before it jumped to its feet and ran off hollering with arms waving wildly high in the air.

Neji stared at the scene in consternation. From his viewpoint, the man looked unhurt even after being torched like that.

After staring at the broken window for a moment longer, he turned to find the entrance to the apartment.

This time, he arrived at the entrance to the apartment containing the unknown girl.

It was easy to unlock the door since it wasn't locked. Turning the knob clockwise, Neji pushed the door in slightly. Then a click suddenly echoed in the hallway. Neji immediately pulled the door shut and ducked right as a Kunai pierced right through the steel of the closed door and embedded itself in the opposing wall.

Unfortunately, that kept him in place long enough for another ominous click to be heard. Using his bloodline, Neji immediately recognized the trap hidden behind the door.

There was no time to ask who could possibly have the bright idea of righing a flame-throwing trap indoors. 'It's probably the girl, she's the only one here,' he frantically thought before he spotted what he was looking for. Neji immediately kicked the door in, ripping it off of its hinges before shoving his fingers into the now exposed feeder lines. They split in half, dousing him in a putrid-smelling oil. But without its fuel, the flame trap would not be able to activate.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Neji made his way into the apartment, only to leap out again when he heard a click.

Thunk

There was a kunai embedded in the spot where he had stood moments before.

Several more clicks sounded throughout the room and Kunais suddenly started flying everywhere. Neji quickly pressed himself against the wall next to the door as several kunai shot out through the open doorway.

The noise gradually died down. Neji peered in. He breathed a sigh of relief when there were no clicks when his face entered the room.

He had only taken a few steps inside when another set of traps suddenly sounded. Now, Neji was both irritated and amused. He was definitely going to ask the girl how she managed to rig traps that he couldn't spot. But first...

Kaiten! Neji shouted as he quickly whirled around and used the Hyuuga's ultimate defense. Several of the Kunai flew away, but more continued to stream in as click after click continued to sound.

Neji was soon growling as he furiously wondered who had the money to obtain this many weapons.

He couldn't hold the defense up forever, and soon he was slowing from exhaustion. Something finally pierced through his defense and struck him on the head, knocking him out of his spin and onto the floor.

Stars flashed in his vision as he strained to use his bloodline to see what hit him. A butter knife? When a spoon took that moment to strike his back, there was no doubt about it, Neji was definitely going to throw the girl into this room after he was done questioning her.

Neji slowly advanced, pausing occasionally to block the silverware that continued to fly in from all over.

After batting away a rogue fork several steps away from the bedroom door, Neji decided that he had enough and dashed forward. He failed to see the thick black wire in his path, but he definitely heard the ominous click as he tripped on it.

Neji groaned as the floor in front of him fell away with a fwump and he started to dive headfirst into a large pit.

Inside were a multitude of bloody pikes pointed upwards, and numerous skeletons that had been skewered by them.

So this was his fate...

...if he had to die trying to fight it, he could think of better ways. But given what he had...

He started to spin in midair as he prepared to defend himself using Kaiten. But without a solid foothold, he couldn't rotate fast enough before he fell on the pikes.

A loud crack filled the air.

Neji suddenly found his descent arrested as someone seized the back of his shirt and kicked off the wall of the pit. Together the two flew back up and out of the pit. They landed lightly on the edge farthest from the bedroom door. Behind them, now devoid of victims, the pit closed, sealing itself away.

Neji was dumped unceremoniously to the floor. Looking up, he realized that his savior was the red-haired man that he fought earlier.

"Why did you save me?" Neji found himself asking as he pushed himself up.

"You came farther than the others, kid. If there's anyone that can break her out of this mood, I think you can."

Neji looked at the man with narrowed eyes. "It was you that stopped the others, weren't you?"

"Heh, you know me too well kid," the red-haired man said sheepishly.

Neji looked at the innocent looking bedroom door before he reached up and caught a spoon. "How do we cross the pit and open her door?"

"If it were me, I'd smoke her out."

"What?"

"Kitsune-bi!" the red-haired man shouted before he turned to the door, put his palms together and spewed out a huge blue fire.

Neji gaped in shock for a moment.

"Weren't you afraid of fire?" Neji demanded.

"Of course no-wait!" the man's defensive growl became one of surprise when he saw Neji turn and leap right over the pit and into the flames. Didn't the boy know that he was covered in oil?

Neji did, but that wasn't going to stop him from saving a friend. He crashed into the bedroom door with such force that it splintered slightly as it burst open. Neji tumbled into the room before he rolled to put out the flames on him. But the blue fire stubbornly clung to him.

It took a several seconds before he realized that the flames on him weren't hot.

"It was all an illusion kid," the Kyuubi said with a devilish smirk as he walked in.

"Go away!" came a loud shriek. Neji looked over and his eyes immediately widened. Hokage-sama wasn't kidding about Naruto's gender either?

Together, the two watched Naruto awkwardly fall out of bed before she made her way to the corner to hide.

"Remove this first and I will," the man replied as he stepped forward and pointed at the collar.

"no-o." Naruto stammered to the man.

Kyuubi took a step forward menacingly. That was all that he needed. "o-okay" the girl quickly said as she changed her mind.

The man bent over and she reached her small hands around his neck.

"I'm s-sorry, it won't c-come off," Naruto said after several vain tugs. She tried several more times, becoming more and more jittery with every failure before she finally shrieked and covered her head. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Don't hurt me!"

The red-haired man had a brief look of disgust on his face as he turned and stood up. He left the room without a word.

Neji looked at the cowering blond in the corner as a look of disgust appearing on his own face own face as well. He was defeated by this? Fighting the bile rising in his throat, he took a step forward.

"Naruto, Hoka-"

"Go away!" she drew further within herself.

"Hokage-sama has requested that I bring you to her office." he said again as she said nothing and shrunk away.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I can't."

"Naruto."

"Go away! Leave me alone!" the girl cried irrationally.

"Fight me," Neji finally said. "Fight me and I will leave."

"f-fine," the girl said as she slowly stood up and assumed a combat stance.

He pierced through her weak guard with little effort. She struck the wall before she collapsed on the floor.

"Get up!" Neji ordered.

"o-okay," the girl said as she staggered to her feet.

Neji wasted little time in charging forward. The girl went crashing into the bed before she bounced off and dashed the back of her head against the drawer. She fell to the floor again.

"Goddammit Naruto!" Neji cursed as he picked her up. She weakly looked at him with almost closed eyes. He managed to catch a glimpse of the resigned look within them before they finally closed and her body went limp.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Naruto slowly woke up to a tinge of pain in her side and her head. When she opened her eyes, she realized that there was a haze of white floating in front of her. It moved when she moved and she soon realized that it was a...

"You look stunning brat," the Hokage said with an appraising glance.

"Eh?" was the quiet reply.

"Everyone's ready Tsunade-sama," Shizune said as she entered the room with a bouquet of roses. (1)

"Very well, explain things to the the lucky one while I go take my place," Tsunade said as she stepped from the room.

"Congratulations Naruto!" Shizune said with a large smile on her face as she shoved the large bouquet into Naruto's hands.

"What's going on?" Naruto weakly asked Tsunade's apprentice as she held the

"You're getting married!"

"Married?"

"To Neji!"

"Neji?"

"Yes! It's Hyuuga tradition. It's customary if a strong Hyuuga defeats an equally strong partner, they would get married."

"But I lost. Badly..."

"Yes you did. But you defeated him in the Chuunin exams. That's when they acknowledge your strength."

"I'm not that strong anymore," the blond girl whined.

"..." Shizune had nothing to say.

Hinata walked in. "A-ano, the wedding is a-about to s-start."

"Come on," Shizune said as she reached over and took Naruto's hand. The girl didn't protest as she was led outside.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"We are gathered here today to witness the holy matrimony between Neji Hyuuga and Naruto Uzumaki. Is there anyone that wishes to protest this arrangement?"

A small voice rang from the crowd. "I do."

There were several gasps.

"Hyuuga Hanabi, you wish to protest against Hyuuga Neji's marriage?"

"I do." Hanabi calmly repeated.

"Do you wish to state a reason?"

"No."

In truth, she didn't have a real reason. She had been reading through a tome of Hyuuga traditions the other day and came upon one where contests could be held at a wedding. Since she was getting bored, why not?

"What's going on?" someone whispered.

"A main family member is protesting the arrangement." his uncle replied.

"What's so special about that?"

"Because a branch member is being married, if a main branch member protests the arrangement, Hyuuga tradition dictates that a series of contests must be held to determine which of the three the gods favor today."

"Three?"

"Naruto, Neji, or Hanabi-sama."

"Why Naruto?"

"If Naruto won, the wedding would be cancelled because the gods have decided that today would not be a good day for her to marry."

"What happens if Hanabi-sama wins?"

"Uhh...well...actually, I'm not sure about that one. If tradition applied, the results would be really weird."

"Huh?" the first asked, however his partner had already turned back to watch.

"Very well then. Because the rules are stringent on this matter, we will hold three contests to see which candidate the gods will favor. Naruto-san, Neji-san, or Hanabi-san."

-o-o-o-o-

"The first contest will be to draw straws. This is a test to see whose soul the gods favor today. Whoever has the favored spirit will win by drawing the short straw. Use of the Hyuuga Bloodline Limit is forbidden for this round, both from the contestants and from the spectators." Tsunade announced before she turned and whispered, "I'll place 100 ryo on Neji's victory."

"Noted." A seedy looking Hyuuga said before he took the bill.

Hinata held out the three straws for the contestants to take. The two Hyuuga children pulled out their straws without hesitation. That left Naruto to slowly pull out her own. All three presented what they were holding.

Tsunade cursed. "It appears that Naruto Uzumaki has won this round."

"Hokage-sama, I protest!" Hanabi quietly said.

"I protest as well," Neji added.

"What are they doing?" someone else from the crowd whispered.

"If the Hokage allows the protests, the results of the contest will be thrown out and a rematch will be declared," came the reply from her sister.

Oh, she allowed it alright. She would have been rubbing her hands together and cackling madly if it weren't for the fact that the Hokage's image had to be maintained.

"Round two!" Tsunade shouted before she turned and whispered, "I'll place 50 ryo on Hanabi's victory."

"Noted," came an equally quiet voice as money exchanged hands.

The three contestants pulled the straws from Hinata's grasp.

Tsunade cursed again. "Naruto Uzumaki has won this round."

"Hokage-sama, I protest."

The cycle continued. Naruto continued to win.

"Round 15!" Tsunade shouted weakly.

The three prepared to draw again. Except Hiashi stepped forward, took the three straws from Hinata's hand, and pushed her aside. He quickly selected the short straw and let it fall to the ground before he put a long straw into the pile.

He showed the three long straws to the entire crowd before he glared at the three. "Draw."

The three gulped. Who was going to question the stupidity of the Hyuuga head's action? Naruto stepped forward and pulled one out first.

The other two soon followed.

When it came time to show what they had pulled, everyone immediately gaped at the straw in Naruto's hand. They quickly looked down at the one lying on the ground.

Both were short.

"..."

Hanabi glared at the winning straw before she turned around. "Hokage-sama, I pro-" She started to say before a large hand covered her mouth.

Tsunade slowly pulled her hand away. It was obvious who won this round.

Naruto had a small smile on her face as she looked at the straw in her hand.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"The second contest will be of the mind. Whoever the gods do not favor will make a serious tactical mistake in this contest. Because of Naruto Uzumaki's unnatural victory in the last contest, she will be banned from this round." Tsunade paused for a moment to hear the outraged outburst. There was none. Naruto continued to stare depressingly down at the ground.

Tsunade turned away to continue, "The game selected will be Go." She immediately turned and whispered, "I'll place 100 ryo on Neji's victory."

"I'd hate'ta say this, but he's not going to win," Tenten quietly replied as she hesitantly took the money. Tsunade instantly felt her money flutter away.

"That's ridiculous, Neji is the reigning champion of the Annual Go tournament for 3 years now," a branch member nearby snorted. He also added 100 ryo to Neji's name.

The Hokage perked up a little when she heard this. The feeling that she had where her money was soaring far far away disappeared.

"He would be third if Shikaku and Shikamaru joined, but those two Nara's are far too lazy," another branch member added as he slapped 150 ryo into Tenten's hand. "Neji," he replied before he disappeared into the crowd.

Tsunade cackled mentally. With these claims, there was no way that she could lose!

Hiashi stepped up. "Hanabi," he said while giving Tenten 10 ryo. He had no further comments as he stepped back to watch the game begin.

The small amount exchanged wasn't lost on Tsunade. 'Way to cheer on your daughter Hyuuga-san,' she thought with a tremendous mental smirk.

Neji looked skeptically at Hanabi. "Do you even know how to play Go?"

Hanabi smirked before saying, "of course," her smirk twitched slightly, as if she was lying through her teeth.

Neji had his own smirk when he saw this. "I'll go easy on you," he said. In other words, he was going to make it a quick game so that she didn't suffer much.

Hanabi hesitantly nodded before she sat down at her place at the table.

"How do you play go?" A depressed Naruto heard a random bystander quietly ask.

"The goal of the game is to capture and hold more territory than your opponent by the end of the game. Once there is no empty land to claim, you must struggle with your opponent for more territory. To do this, you must surround your opponent's unprotected pieces to capture them while keeping your own pieces from being surrounded," his cousin replied.

"Oh."

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Who's winning?" The same bystander finally asked after some time.

"Neji."

"Why? Hanabi-sama has a large loop that she's almost completed."

"That's all she has. The larger the loop that you manage to complete, the more territory and pieces you can capture at once but you sacrifice defense. It is an incredibly risky offense, since even one piece from your opponent can defeat the strategy and cost you the game."

Neji was having no problems keeping Hanabi from completing the loop as he continued to place pieces in her path that continually forced her to go around. In short, he was dominating the playing field and the game would be over soon.

So when Hanabi set down her next piece, Neji's jaw dropped. Hanabi started to pick up the large group of black stones that she had ringed. She carelessly tossed the captured pieces to the side.

There was no doubt about it. He lost.

He put down his next piece as he continued to fight. Believe in yourself and, no matter how dire, the game will return to your favor.

It was over in minutes.

"The winner of this match, Hanabi Hyuuga!" Tsunade announced as she crumpled the ticket in her hand.

From nearby, Tenten was quietly saying to Hiashi. "Since the odds eventually stopped at 100 ta one, and you gave 10 ryo, your earnings comes out ta 1,000 ryo. Not bad." she said as she counted out 10 hundred ryo notes and handed them to the Hyuuga Head.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"We've challenged the soul and the mind. Now we shall see who the gods favor with a contest of the body. We will have a free for all battle between Naruto Uzumaki, Neji Hyuuga, and Hanabi Hyuuga. Whoever the gods favor will be able to defeat the other two."

"Aren't you going to bet?"

"...1 ryo on Naruto." Tsunade said as she glared at the seedy looking man.

"Noted." He wrote something into a notebook. "Cheapo," he muttered before he walked off. Tsunade growled.

Right on the battlefield...

"How?" Neji demanded as he glared at the shortest girl. He should have won.

Hanabi had an enigmatic smirk on her face before she pointed to a pair of people conversing off to the side.

"...the power of the Queen of Cheaters," one of them said.

"The queen of...' Neji thought for a moment before his eyes widened. Now that he remembered, there was one critical spot. One that was far from the battlefield. One that her white stone was not supposed to be occupying because he had a black stone there already.

"So you finally understand?" Hanabi asked, the smirk remaining on her face.

"You cheated."

"I did." the small girl replied.

The Hyuuga prodigy frowned. "I won't lose Naruto to your dishonorable ways."

"Why are you so determined to win?" Hanabi asked curiously.

"Because Naruto is the best." Neji said with a grin.

Naruto perked up slightly when she heard this.

"The best?"

"Naruto can change others. She has that special ability."

Hanabi scoffed. "I have never heard of such a thing."

"Believe it or not, I've seen it happen. I look forward to seeing what she can do once she is Hokage."

"Her, Hokage?" Hanabi asked as she skeptically turned to their downcast third opponent.

The two watched as the blond shook for a moment. They heard a sniffle, "Thank you Neji," came Naruto's soft smokey voice. She brought a hand up to wipe her eye before she raised her head and looked at Neji.

The glaze that had covered her brilliant blue eyes had faded a little, and Neji couldn't help but smile. From the side, Hanabi saw the growing fire in the blond girl's eyes as well. She still wasn't convinced that Naruto was going to be the best ninja in the village.

Naruto suddenly glared at the Hyuuga prodigy. "But if you think I'm going to marry a guy, you're dead wrong!" She threw the bouquet of roses aside as she moved into an aggressive brawling stance.

"We'll see who the gods favor then," Neji said lightly before he turned to Hanabi and got into a ready stance. "Hanabi, I won't hold back. Even for you."

"Very well then," Hanabi said before she got into her own ready stance.

All three were ready.

"Hajime!" Tsunade shouted and the match began.

"Give up," Neji shouted as he pivoted and charged for Hanabi, his hands began to glow slightly. Since Hanabi was obviously the weakest, he could quickly remove her from the match, allowing him to focus on defeating Naruto.

Neji suddenly disappeared from the field for a brief moment.

He reappeared right behind his unsuspecting black-haired opponent. His glowing palm flew downwards at the small girl's exposed back.

-o-o-o-o-o-

BOOM!

A mushroom cloud appeared as dust and dirt and bits of grass flew everywhere from the explosion.

-o-o-o-o-o-

A stray wind pushed the plume of smoke up and away. The crowd was speechless.

Hanabi slowly turned around and caught sight of her father and sister staring at each other in surprise.

Hiashi and Hinata then looked down at the battered body.

Neji groaned weakly as the two pulled their palm off of his back.

The two looked back at each other, and then, on some silent signal between the two of them, Hiashi calmly said for the both of them, "Neji. I would appreciate it if you refrained from striking my daughter."

Neji did not say a word, he had fallen unconscious.

The two suddenly turned to a wide-eyed Naruto, who was in the middle of backing away slowly. The blond girl froze like a deer caught in headlights.

"I wasn't going to hit her...yo," Naruto defended weakly.

Hiashi and Hinata both looked at each other before they nodded.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Naruto only had time to shriek once before...

B-BOOM!

An even larger dust cloud mushroomed into the air.

-o-o-o-o-o-

When the dust finally cleared, Hiashi turned and nodded to his daughter to let her know that it was her turn.

"My sister is not weak. I will not stand by while you mock her skills," Hinata sternly said as she and Hiashi frowned down at the twitching blonde.

Hanabi watched the scene impassively before she turned when a large hand grabbed her thin arm. Tsunade raised the girl's arm into the air.

"The winner of these contests with two wins, Hanabi Hyuuga."

-o-o-o-o-o-

The traditional reward for the main branch member winning? They take the place of the branch member. The best part is that they don't need to dress up or anything. But Hanabi's age and gender made this an odd situation. Tsunade insisted that tradition be applied despite Hiashi's stiff resistance. She somehow won in the end, but to explain how she pulled it off would take a while. To make it short, it was an epic battle of glares and stares.

So a semi-recovered blonde stood at the altar in a dirty wedding dress with a bored looking Hanabi right next to her. Neji...was still unconscious. No one bothered to wake him up since it wasn't his show anymore.

After declaring the the two married, Tsunade grinned before she said, "You may now kiss the bride."

Hanabi took one look at her partner before a look of disgust overcame her face. "Do I have to?" she said.

"Yes," Tsunade replied.

"But she smells like bad milk," Hanabi complained.

Naruto lost her sleepy look as she turned to glare at the younger girl, "I do not, you liar!"

"I'm not lying." the slightly shorter girl indignantly said.

Tsunade started laughing. "Good show brat. I formally declare this ceremony over. I'd like to see you in my office immediately."

-o-o-o-o-o-

"This was all a sham?" Naruto quietly asked.

"A pretty good one don't you think? It wasn't cheap, but it's good to see you making progress. We'll have you back to your old self in no time," Tsunade said with a grin.

"So I'm not married?" Naruto questioned.

"Nope," the Hokage said as she held out a small scroll.

"What's this?" Naruto asked as she took the profferred item. She opened it and her eyes widened.

"I can't afford this." Naruto stated.

"Not to worry, I still have that C-rank mission that I haven't paid you yet. I'll take the money from there." Tsunade said as she started rummaging through the piles of paper on her desk.

"I don't remember completing any C-rank missions recently," the younger blond commented.

"You did," Tsunade absently replied as she continued to search.

"No I didn't."

"How about that mission with Haruno-san and Tenten-san?" Tsunade commented as she pulled out another small scroll.

"Ah, maybe I did," the girl thoughtfully said.

"Uh, I take that back," Tsunade said after a moment.

"What?" Naruto questioned.

"Sorry brat, but the patrol had to end early because they had to bring you back. That counts as a failure."

"What?!" Naruto shouted. She had failed a mission?!

"So then, I need you to cough up the cash from your savings.

"What?!" Naruto shouted. She still had to pay?!

"It's not like I'm going to pay for your next costume with my own wallet. Where's the irony in that?"

"What?!" Naruto shouted loudly. The old hag wanted to use the money for a dress?!

A vein popped up in Tsunade's forehead. "Shut up brat!" She shouted as she bopped the other blond on the head. She held her fist up menacingly in case Naruto shouted 'what' one more time.

"Ow! You old hag!" Naruto shouted with fire in her eyes before she delivered a defiant one finger salute.

"You brat!" Tsunade roared as she leapt over her desk to tackle the shorter blond. Inwardly she was smiling. Naruto still had some ways to go, but the initial diagnosis indicated that she would eventually return to her perky self.

-o-o-o-o-

Hanabi had heard of marriage. A ceremony that binds two people. She's also heard from some of the older girls that they would love to be married in a nice large ceremony. And she's heard from many old ladies how they lamented not being able to marry.

She suddenly looked up and glared at the clerk behind the desk, he immediately stopped clearing his throat to grab her attention.

"Uhh, I'm going to need your partner's signature before I can file this."

"Fine." Hanabi calmly replied.

"Alright, please have him sign this," the clerk behind the desk said as he pushed forward a small signature form.

Hanabi took it and looked it over for a moment before she turned to the clerk with a nod. "I will return tomorrow," she said as she walked out.

She wasn't giving up the marriage.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Omake! Ichi!

Three girls sat around their table and stared intently at their cards. Actually, Tenten was staring rather intently at another player's cards.

"Yes?" Hanabi asked smugly.

"You have a royal flush, doncha?" Tenten suddenly asked as she threw down her cards. She only had a pair of aces, one spade and one diamond.

"Third game in a row, I'm just that lucky I guess," Hanabi bragged as she set down a royal flush of clubs with a flourish.

"Aww gee, who wins now?" the blond girl at the table spoke up. When the other two look at the third player, she put down a royal flush of hearts.

"..."

From far far away, someone was observing the game through a pair of binoculars.

"The queen of cheating, the mistress of predictions, and the goddess of luck. The three heroes of gambling," Neji monotoned as he set the binoculars down.

"Scary isn't it?" Kiba asked as he walked up and set down a briefcase with Konoha Trump emblazoned on the front. He took off his sunglasses and pulled out his own pair of binoculars to have a look.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Omake! Ni!

Kyuubi was just bumbling along one night when he accidentally stepped on a house and it exploded.

Screaming, he leapt back, only to land on a group of nin.

Well that obviously didn't settle very well with them. From his height, Kyuubi wasn't able to see their eyes, but if he did, he would have seen several red-eyed nins.

Huge gouts of fire immediately came at him from all over.

Well, the giant fox wasn't going to let the flames hit him, so he started to dance around them.

But realistically...dancing is just too refined a way to describe stomping on everything as the giant fireballs continued to strike his large rump.

After hundreds more buildings exploded, many many nin died, and the fox's nerves were shot from seeing all of that fire, a giant red frog appeared with a blond haired man standing on his head.

The last thing that the fox thought before he was sucked into a child's stomach.

'Once I get out I'm going to destroy this stupid village.'

Hey, it's not like a fear of fire is going to change him that much.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Character Profiles:

Neji Hyuuga

Neji is a genius. This gives him the ability to create and pull out new moves at the drop of a hat. He can also quickly figure out strengths and weaknesses. In addition, he can quickly identify patterns and trends in a fight.

Because of his skills and intellect, he's a bit arrogant. But he does have the strength to back up his mouth.

Because of the fight at the Chuunin exam, Neji has changed.

Did you know? Neji is a 3 time winner of the Annual Go Tournament. However while he's good at the game, he doesn't play it with much emotion. To him one piece is the same as another. So he doesn't care about sacrificing any of them. Because of this, he'd lose badly against Shikamaru and Shikaku. Asuma would be a good challenge.
Now that he's more receptive about recognizing the value of others however, his game will suffer as he struggles to keep everyone of his pieces alive. Once he understands that some of the pieces will be glad to give their life as long as it can help the others, his game will significantly improve.

Hanabi Hyuuga

Hanabi is scarily intelligent for a kid. This makes her a bit arrogant, and she sort of believes that she knows everything. She knows a lot but there's a ton of gaps in her knowledge. One particularly good example is her knowledge of social matters. She's really naïve here because her father often shelters her from other children. The people that her father lets her meet tend to be stuffy rich high-ranking old fogeys that entertain her with stories of their past regrets and exploits.

Hanabi has a frightening glare which she can use to boss people around. If that's not enough, she has a fiercely protective father and sister.

Living in the Hyuuga household has given her a calm, reserved temperament. She can hide her emotions well, because anything more energetic and she'll annoy her father. Unfortunately, she's still a kid. And her energy has to go somewhere. She daydreams a lot when she's not busy.

To explain why Hanabi is determined to find a way to make the marriage happen...first of all, it was taken away from her. Second of all, her imagination went through the roof again as she recalled the stories from the old ladies. Third of all, she doesn't understand why people marry in the first place. Like Naruto, she just believes that a marriage is a declaration of friendship.

Did you know? Hanabi is also known as the Queen of Cheaters. Her win rate is actually better than Naruto's...even when the crowd suspects. However, her wins are far less spectacular. Hanabi's specialty is moving her hands faster than the eye can see. She'd make a great magician.

Did you know? Hiashi stopped playing against Hanabi because she cheats so often she doesn't have to think about doing it anymore. The only sign that they have that his youngest daughter is cheating is that she is eventually starting to win.

Naruto Uzumaki

Naruto has an odd tendency to shoot herself in the foot.

Anyway, in this chapter, she's weakened greatly because she's going through a period where she's afraid and distrustful of others...boys in particular. In addition, her confidence has taken a major hit, meaning she's lost and confused. What this means is that she'll follow anybody who leads her.

I suppose you could say she got through the nightmare jutsu unscathed. She's still as innocent as ever when it comes to the ways of social life. There's also good news about her current condition, Naruto is slowly recovering. Now, when mad, she can forget her fears for a moment and unleash her fury.

Kyuubi
In my opinion, Kyuubi has the oddest quirks in this story. To add on from last time: the first thing that you should notice is that he's deathly afraid of fire, even if it can't hurt him. I'm not sure why, I suppose a carryover from bestial instincts.

Not only is he good at detecting illusions, he's also a master of making them. So maybe he's not as good at physical combat as we're led to believe. That is true, but only skill-wise. He posseses speed and strength to make up for his lack of skills.

Kyuubi guards Naruto because he wants something from her. Namely, get this &!#!#& collar off. To this end, he's also another antagonist. I'm not quite sure why Kyuubi is afraid of Naruto dying before the collar comes off. I can guess, however. He'll let me know if I'm wrong.

Kyuubi hates seeing weakness.

His weapon of choice is a bullwhip. It acts like one of his tails. Ten-tailed fox...hahaha. Anyway, it's just an ordinary bullwhip. Not as cool as a legendary sword, but the fox can do frightening things with it.

Did you know? Kyuubi's tails poof up when he's scared. Too bad they're hidden under his cape. It's definitely a sight to see.
Did you know? Naruto tried to remove his collar but she couldn't. It's not because she lacked the strength. It's because, in her heart, she didn't want to.

-o-o-o-o-o-

A/N: I always wanted to write a suggestive scene like that one in the introduction!

A/N: Frankly, I have no clue who won that card game. If you consider hearts higher than clubs, then Naruto won. Sometimes hearts have the lowest rank, so Hanabi wins. But if you don't rank the suits, they tied. Who was the dealer anyway?

A/N: One of my renditions of Kyuubi's attack on Konoha!

A/N: I'm aware that Neji is being bashed heavily despite his heroic appearance at the beginning and middle. I have no clue why...it just worked out like that. I like him just fine.

Thanks goes to Firework for helping me nail down Sakura's character.

Thanks goes to Firework for pointing out that a break between dream and reality needs some sort of seperator. I chose to use italics to indicate the dulling of a dream moments before a character wakes up.

Thanks to Firework for pointing out that Hanabi seemed to want a marriage when she challenged Neji. In reality, it was an unplanned thing because she was bored. I added a small paragraph to point it out. Also, I added a small paragraph to Hanabi's profile to explain why Hanabi is still working for a marriage.

Thanks to Echizen Ryoma-san for pointing out how Kyuubi introducing himself as Kyuubi to Neji wouldn't make much sense.

(1) An interesting line that I found from Spying no Jutsu and modified to suit my own needs.