A/N: Okay so let me just say that I'm the worst author ever and I should be hanged for high treason for leaving you guys! I got so caught up at school that I had no time to write and when I got out about a month ago I was caught up in doing the other things that I had neglected during school that my writing suffered and I'm so sorry for that so I do apologize! I am attempting to do better.

So here's the plan from now on, I am up to chapter 22 in the first draft and up to chapter 9 in my revisions so I plan to do both at the same time now and I'm going to complete the entire book two before I update any more chapters. That being said I hope book three will be planned out better and will go up on a decent schedule!

Again, so sorry for the delays and hope that you enjoy this chapter, fans of Supernatural will know where this flashback takes place in. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Disclaimer: The worlds of Supernatural and Twilight belong to their respective owners. I claim nothing but the adapted plot lines!

Chapter 9: Self Sacrifice

April, 2006 (flashback)

Bella POV

The trip from the ER to Charlie's car was a nightmare. I was afraid that Charlie might have to break out the riot gear and start beating people out of the way. It seemed like everyone in the whole school was there to see if I was okay, or maybe to get the chance to see a dead body. I hated to break it to them, but it wasn't as cool as TV makes it out to be.

But that didn't faze me; I was still unhinged from my heated conversation with Edward. The angry blush still hadn't subsided and my cheeks were burning. How could one singular person make me so mad? And Charlie wanted me to thank him?

We were walking down the hall and I looked into one room and saw a man sitting in a hospital bed clutching his wife's hand tightly as they looked at the doctor. I heard the last of their conversation.

"I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do for you. The heart attack was so severe; it's a miracle we got you back at this point." The doctor's voice was grave.

I stopped dead in my tracks. I had heard that line somewhere else.

Charlie hadn't noticed that I had stopped. He was a few paces in front of me before he turned back to me. "What's wrong Bella? Does your head hurt?"

I was able to shake my head no, but I didn't trust my voice to not break down and cry. But he kept bugging me about it so I waited till we were in the car before I told him.

….

We were on a simple hunt, a Rawhead, and it shouldn't have taken that long. But Dean, he was being stupid, as usual.

I called out to him to make sure that he was alright but he didn't answer. I ran down the stairs to find him standing over the Rawhead, his limbs were trembling; I saw the taser lying in the pool of water at his feet.

"Dean?" I asked cautiously, and then he fell backwards and passed out. "SAM HELP!" I ran towards him and tried to drag him out of the water.

I saw Sam coming down the stairs "Dean?" then the shock of the scene registered on his face. "Dean! What the hell happened?"

I was on the verge of tears. "I don't know, the thing was there, he had a taser and…" I didn't see anything else, there was so much going on, I couldn't see….

"What? Tell me Bella!" Sam's voice rose in panic.

"I – I didn't see!" I had to blink the tears away. Sam frowned as he tried to check Dean's pulse. "What's wrong with him?"

Sam didn't answer my question. "Bella, help me get him up, we need to get him to the hospital."

We managed to get him up the stairs; the two kids were shaking in the salt circle barrier.

"Don't worry guys; it's going to be okay." Sam reassured them with a not so reassuring smile.

The little girl looked over at Dean with wide eyes. "Is he okay mister?" She asked fearfully.

"I don't know." Sam's voice quivered a little, the vibrato that seemed to come off naturally was waning.

"Come on, it's safe to come out now." I herded the kids into the Impala and Sam and I put Dean into the back with them. I ran over to the passenger side and got in Sam gunned the engine to life and we speed off down the highway. My eyes filled with tears as I looked at Dean's unconscious body from the rear view mirror. What are we going to do? I asked Sam through my thoughts in a hopeless tone.

Get him to a hospital, now. His pulse…. Sam shook his head; it was weak as hell Bella. His tone was edgy and worried.

I rolled my eyes. I meant about the kids, though thanks for reminding me.

We'll tell the cops that we found the kids there, that we heard screaming inside. It's the truth. He eyed them closely from the rear view mirror.

I should have stayed and helped him! I thought bitterly, it was all my fault.

We can't change anything. We just gotta make sure that Dean and the kids are okay.

The kids were completely oblivious to our silent conversation in the back; they were shaking, huddled to each other. We pulled into the hospital parking lot and made a parking space.

"You don't get it! It's my fault he's hurt!" I couldn't hold it in any more, I didn't care that the kids were in there with us, all that mattered was that Dean was probably dying and it was my fault.

"How is that?"

"I should have stayed with him, but I was too scared! He told me to go wait upstairs with you."

"God Bells, it's okay to be scared once in a while." He tried to give me a reassuring smile again, this time it was a little more genuine. "Come on, we gotta get Dean in…. I don't…" He took a deep breath to compose himself. "I don't think he has long, if we don't get him help."

I wiped my tears away. "Okay." Sam and I carried Dean between us and got him into the ER, the kids following behind. The nurses rushed over and took Dean away from us. I looked at the nurse who was barking out orders. "Is Dean going to be okay?"

She didn't answer me right away; she was still busy getting Dean on a stretcher. "We need to run some tests, dear. We will give you news on your…" she prompted us.

"He's our brother." Sam replied.

"We'll give you news on your brother once we figure out what's going on."

A doctor showed up then and put on his stethoscope. He frowned as he put it to his chest in several places. "Damnit, hook him up. He's got no pulse!" He barked orders as they wheeled Dean away.

"Dean!" I called out as I started to follow them.

Sam put a restraining hand on my shoulder and I realized that he was shaking. I looked into his eyes and saw my own fear reflected in his eyes.

"You have to stay here." The nurse stood in between me and the doors where Dean was. My eyes filled with tears as I saw the doctor placing a mask over Dean's mouth before disappearing around a corner.

"He's my brother…." I put my hand over Sam's.

"I know you need to be near him, but the doctors need to work and make sure he's okay." The nurse smiled at me. Like her words were supposed to give me comfort.

"It's what's best for Dean." Sam agreed with the nurse. She nodded and walked back to the nurse's station. I nodded, the silent tears trailing down my face and soaking my shirt.

"You heard the doctors Sam…." I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. We were sitting in the waiting room. They had called the police to take the kids off our hands. Thankfully their aunt had reported them missing, at least they had someone to go back to. Who did Sam and I have?

"Don't worry, Dean will be okay." He hadn't taken his eyes off the doors ever since Dean disappeared behind them. He had tensed up every time someone pushed the doors open.

"How can you be sure Sam?" I wanted him to tell me that everything was okay; I wanted him to give me some peace of mind.

He finally looked at me and sighed, the sadness in his eyes was scaring me. "I'm not." I leaned into Sam, seeking comfort and found little there.

A few minutes later the doctor that took Dean back came out. "Winchester?"

Sam took a deep breath before he stood up. "We're his siblings."

The doctor smiled a small smile, always the sign of troubling news. "Well I have some good news and some bad news; you'd better come with me." He gestured to the doors and started walking. Sam and I shared a loaded glance before following him. He went into a conference room and shut the door behind us. Then he sat down and apprised both of us. "The good news is that we were able to get him back."

"Thank God!" I let out the breath that I felt like I had been holding in since I saw Dean collapse.

"The bad news…?" Sam asked warily.

"We have run some tests and he had a major heart attack, I'm afraid." He took off his glasses, folded them neatly and sat them on the table. "His heart is damaged."

"How damaged?" Sam's voice was hollow, void of all emotion.

"We've done all we can. We can try and keep him comfortable at this point. But, I'd give him a couple of weeks, at most, maybe a month."

"What?" My heart sank in my chest. I would never have thought the bad news would be that bad.

"I'm so sorry. The electrocution damaged his heart too severely…. Normally, we would look at heart transplants but in the condition that your brother was in now, there's a slim chance that he would make it through surgery." I started breaking down and bawling my eyes out. "I would enjoy the last few moments you have with him."

Sam was trying to console me, I clinged to his shirt and buried my face in it. "No, no. There's gotta be some kind of treatment." He turned slightly and gripped me tightly.

I glanced back up and the doctor had reached the door and looked back at us with sad eyes. "I'm really sorry."

"Can we see him?" I asked tearfully.

"Yes, you can. He's resting though so I would keep it short." He opened the door and walked out. We walked down the hall and into Dean's room. He was awake, thankfully, and was staring at the ceiling with a tired expression. When Sam knocked on the door Dean turned to us and smiled weakly.

"Hey guys." His voice was horse.

"How are you doing Dean?" Sam smiled a little.

Dean nodded and made a face like it had hurt. "I'm okay…. Chest hurts like hell though…." He sighed. "End of the line huh?"

"You'll get better." Sam's emotions were still absent, it was started to scare me.

Dean huffed sadly. "You know the doc said it was terminal… I'm gonna die…"

"We are going to find someone who can fix you." Sam glared out the window into the pouring rain.

"Sam, I only gotta week or two left… don't…" He stared at the ceiling again. "don't tell Dad."

Sam shook his head and gave Dean a grimace. "He wouldn't come anyway."

"Just tell him I went down in a hunt. I don't want him knowing I screwed up big time." Dean looked down and bit his lip.

I nodded. "Okay." I had my own reasons not to tell Dad what happened. I still felt like it was my fault. I was trying to put on a brave face for my brother… I tried to wipe away the tears, to control myself. You're a Winchester Bella, we don't cry… That's what Dean had said once.

Dean smiled at me and smirked then he looked at Sam. "See Sammy, Bella can honor my last wish."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Even if it's a stupid one."

"See…? No friggin' respect." Dean shook his head and grabbed the remote for the TV.

Then we had to leave, because unfortunately visiting hours were over. My nerves hadn't subsided; they were still raw and hurt. Sam threw himself into research back at the crappy motel that we checked into. It seemed even crappier than usual to me without Dean being there for his colorful commentary on the shady couple that went in the room beside us at the same time. I sat with him at the table trying to swallow down a nearly stale sandwich that Sam had bought in a hurry at the Gas n' Sip that we had passed on the way in.

"What are you doing?" I nodded towards the laptop that illuminated Sam's face in an eerily gaunt way.

"Looking up the survival rates…." Sam replied in a monotone, he was focused on his work.

"Just don't look anything up on WebMD." I smirked everyone could find something on there that was wrong with you. "Seriously though, you are only going to make yourself feel worse." I tried to fill in for Dean's sarcastic comments while he was gone; it made me feel a little saner.

Sam rolled his eyes and snorted. "Bella… we're gonna save him."

"How?" I sighed. "You heard what the doctor said."

Sam's emotionless mask cracked a little, his shoulders slumped and he clenched his jaw and glared at me. "I don't know what we're going to do… but we can't just let him die!"

"Well, where else is there to go?" I glared back at him. He sighed and went back to his work. "Alright Mr. Sulky, I'm going to get some actual food." I got up and threw the sandwich in the trash. "Try not to do anything stupid while I'm gone?"

"Yeah okay…." His voice was distant like he wasn't paying attention to me.

I took the keys to the Impala and shut the door behind me. I think we both needed some time to ourselves to wrap our minds around this. I went to the first fast food place I could find and actually had something edible. While I was eating, I thought about Sam back there all alone in the motel room doing what he does best.

He was trying to save his brother; no one could begrudge him of that, but there was obviously no feasible way that Sam could save him. The doctor said that there was a slight possibility that Dean could survive a transplant. Maybe…. The wheels in my head were spinning faster than the Impala's streaking through the streets.

"Sam? I'm home!" I smirked as I opened the door.

"Hey Bells." He was still sitting in the same position that I left him in.

"Have you had any luck?" I asked half hoping he had.

He looked up and sighed. "Not much."

"Well don't worry, you're the smart one, you'll come up with something." I sat the food down that I had brought back for him and then sat down across from him. After a few minutes I spoke up again. "Sam… I've been thinking about something…"

"What is it?" He wasn't paying much attention to me.

"What if you can't find anything because there's nothing to find?" I was apprehensive, anything could set him off.

He looked up at me curiously. "What do you mean?"

I sighed, at least he wasn't yelling yet. "I mean, maybe there's nothing we can do. You can't change fate."

Sam shook his head and went back to his work. "There has to be something." I had lost him again.

"There is one way to get Dean a heart…." I looked down at my hands and wringed them together.

"What? Tell me Bells." Sam's voice was hopeful, like I had walked outside and the solution that eluded him was going to fall right into my now shaking hands clenched tightly together.

"In most transplant cases, the donor usually comes from their family."

"What are you suggesting?" He eyed me suspiciously.

"If worse comes to worst, I'll give Dean my heart." I kept my head down, afraid of his reaction.

"What? Are you serious?" His tone was scathing, but not exactly the anger that I had expected.

"Of course I am." I gave him a level stare. "I wouldn't say it otherwise."

"That's suicide!" That anger that I was afraid of was bubbling to the surface.

"Families are supposed to protect one another right?" I asked rhetorically. "I'm willing to sacrifice myself to save him."

Sam shook his head fiercely and shouted, "No Bella! I'm not going to let you!"

"You can't tell me what to do!" I shouted back through my tears. "I can't lose my big brother Sammy…."

"And I can't lose you." His voice warbled, threatening to shut down with an emotional overload.

"I'm not much of a help. Dean's the best hunter out there, besides Dad." This was an easy choice to make, simple in my mind. There wasn't anything I would do for Dean, same for Sammy to.

"We will figure out another way Bella." Sam put his hand on top of mine to stop them from fidgeting. "Do you know how pissed Dean would be if you did something this stupid?"

"Yes I do, but it'd be too late to change anything." I frowned. "I'd already be dead."

"Yeah, and leave me here so that Dean can have my ass for letting you do it."

I smiled then there was a knock on the door. Sam looked confused and walked to the door; he opened it to reveal Dean sagging against the doorframe.

"I heard shouting…." He sounded like he'd been gargling with rocks.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sam sounded incredulous.

"Checked myself out." Dean smiled weakly. "Not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot." Dean looked really pale and his breathing was shallow.

"Are you stupid?" I crossed my arms and glowered at him.

"Last time I checked, no." He grinned. "The doc agreed with me, I shouldn't be spending my last days strapped to a hospital bed." He staggered past us and moved towards the bed, he was barely able to walk and he was breathing heavily. "God… I feel like I'm 70…."

"Let me help you." I moved to his side and put my hand on his arm.

"I'm fine." He stubbornly shoved at my hand; he winced in pain and leaned against the wall.

Sam came to Dean's other side and shouldered most of Dean's weight. "Yeah, you look like the perfect picture of health.

"Dude, get off!" Dean complained.

I rolled my eyes, got out my phone and headed to the door. "I'll be back in a minute." I walked out far enough away that the boys couldn't overhear me. I called a number that I had long since given up on. He picked up on the third ring.

"What's up?" his voice was calm and relaxed.

"Dad… you answered?" I was shocked, I had expected to just leave him a voicemail, Sam would be pissed, but he would just have to get over it.

"Well, I figure you are the one child of mine that doesn't have it out for me right now." He chuckled a little. "What's going on?"

"Dad its Dean…." I was a bit apprehensive; maybe it was better if I didn't say anything.

"What about him?" His tone turned serious. "What happened?"

"A hunt went wrong. Dean…." I took a shaky breath. "Dad, they gave him two weeks…." I wiped the tears away. Winchester's don't cry.

"How's he holding up?" He was almost cold and distant.

"Not good Dad…." I waited for him to respond but no words ever came. "So are you going to come and help us?"

"I can't Bella. It's not safe."

"Why not?" I growled into the receiver.

He laughed a little. "It's just not safe kiddo."

I narrowed my eyes. "Don't you 'kiddo' me!"

"I'll put you in sever danger if I come!" Dad's tone turned serious.

"So what, we can handle it, you have to come help us save Dean!" If anyone would know what to do Dad would, he always knew that to do.

"No! You and Sam try and help your brother, and that's an order."

"Dad?!" I protested defiantly.

"I'm sorry kid." Then the phone line disconnected.

"Son of a…" I sighed angrily and tried dialing his number again, he let it ring this time and it went straight into his voicemail. I growled impatiently and tried again, still no answer. I shoved the phone back in my pocket and stomped back to the room, fuming.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Dean asked when I slammed the door shut behind me. Sam had gotten him sat up in the bed and made him eat the food that I had brought back with me.

"Nothing Dean…." It was hard to hold on to my anger looking at him like that.

"Yeah?" Dean appraised me through narrowed eyes.

"Yeah." I sat down at the table, pulled out my knife, and started cleaning it with more force than necessary. Sam followed suit and started pulling our duffle bag of arsenal out and inspecting each piece.

"What have you two been doing?" Dean had put down his burger and crossed his arms. "You both look worse than me.

I looked at Sam. Should we tell him?

Sam's eyes went wide with alarm. No!

Dean sighed. "What?" his voice sounded weak.

I nearly slit my finger on my knife as my hand flashed across the blade. "It's nothing Dean." Sam didn't speak up. His thoughts were very quiet too.

"Well two nothings make a something." Dean grumbled.

"We're trying to find a way to help you." Sam spoke calmly, never taking his focus off his work. It was almost as if Dean had asked him what the weather was like outside and Sam had replied, 'a brisk 65 degrees'.

Sam?! I thought you didn't want to tell him?!

"You're not gonna let me die in peace are you?" Dean sighed impatiently. "You heard the doc… there's nothing they can do."

"Maybe, but there's something we can do. I've been calling the contacts in Dad's journal. There's this guy in Nebraska that could help you."

….

By this time Charlie and I were sitting across from each other in the kitchen. I was biting my lip anxiously waiting for his response. He took in a deep breath, "What happened after that?"

I frowned, "The guy in Nebraska ended up being a bust, he was calling himself a 'faith healer' curing the incurable, and he did it all in God's name." I shook my head. "Though it's not his fault, it was his wife's. She had a reaper on a leash. He saved Dean, but someone else had to die in his place."

"How do you leash a reaper?" Charlie asked quietly.

"It was some serious hoodoo." I traced the top of my glass of water slowly. "We fixed it in the end, we released the reaper and it took the wife." I sighed. "I don't think Dean ever forgave Sam for taking him there. He never forgave himself for what happened to the guy who died in his place either. It was a kid on the high school swim team if I'm not mistaken."

There were a lot of things that Dean had never forgiven himself for, most of them had involved me and Sam. Now, when we were trying to save his life for something we had caused, he just didn't want to fight anymore.

It was like I didn't even know him anymore, my brother was a stranger.